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x-x

Trip lay on his back, his head pillowed on his arms, his legs crossed at the ankle as he stared up at the brightly lit ceiling. His brightly lit ceiling. It was great being out of sickbay, wearing his own clothes, albeit not his uniform - both he and Malcolm were still off duty. Still, it was great to lie on his much-more-comfortable-than-a-bio bed, thinking of nothing in particular, letting his thoughts simply drift through his experiences - well, device induced hallucinations - over the past few days.

He felt fine, had felt fine since he woke up last night in sickbay. At least, once he got past the initial confusion. But the whole situation was messed up - forgetting everything he had, his missing days. And he felt fine, really he did, just - he shook his head against his worries. The doc, at least, had said that he was recovering well, that the effects of the device had worn off. He'd released them both, although not to duty, and with orders to report anything unusual.

He'd forgotten Enterprise. That, alone, was enough to seriously freak him out, but he felt okay with that. What he didn't feel okay with was forgetting that his sister was dead. It was weird - he'd been drawn in with that Xindi signature, then forgotten everything that was linked to the Xindi in his mind - Enterprise, his sister's death. There had to be a connection, but damned if he could figure out the whys and wherefores of the situation.

He reached out and triggered his lights off, then rolled over, burrowing into his pillow.

He wondered what Malcolm had forgotten. Maybe his friend was thinking of that same subject right now, he thought as he began to drift off.

As he dozed, he remembered playing cricket, one match in particular whilst he was at school. The stands had been crowded with students wearing scarves in their school colours, red and yellow striped flags waving -

Trip's eyes shot open and he triggered the lights. Squinting against their glare, he stumbled to his comm. "Um, Malcolm?" he said, his voice shaking.

"Yeah?" came the response, his friend's voice obviously blurred from sleep.

"Were your school colors red and yellow?"

"Yes," Malcolm said, his voice clearer now.

"Did you play cricket? I mean, were you just thinking about cricket, and school?

Malcolm spoke in a rush. "How did you know?"

"Hmm...I wanna try something." Trip looked around his cabin, his eyes finally resting on a picture of his sister, Lizzie. Moving slowly, he picked it up, closing his eyes against the memory of her death. Emotions crashed over him in a wave: sadness, anger, then they were gone, replaced by a memory of her as a kid, them making cookies together one Christmas eve, for Santa and his reindeer. He remembered helping her stir the mix in the bowl with a long wooden spoon, her standing on a chair so she could reach the counter. He smiled, sadness and happiness mixed at the memory.

"Damn, Trip," Malcolm said, his soft voice laden with awe and perhaps a little fear.

"Yeah," Trip said, opening his eyes and focusing once again on the photo.

After a long moment, Malcolm said, "I think this is one of the 'unusual' things we're supposed to report to Phlox."

"Yeah." Trip wiped a heavy hand across his eyes. "Tomorrow, though, all right?" Trip hesitated, then finally said, "I'm just tired. I don't have the energy to explain all this whatever it is to the doc yet."

"All right."

Trip shut off the comm. and replaced the picture on his shelf. He ran one gentle finger along the top of its frame.

x-x

The next morning Trip checked his messages and was happy to see that he'd been cleared for duty, so he dressed hurriedly and made his way to the mess. As he reached the door, he passed Malcolm, also in uniform, on his way out. "You cleared for work, too?" Trip asked, stopping in the hall as the door shut behind his friend. At Malcolm's answering nod, Trip continued. "I'll see you later, then." As he made to move past, he felt a hand on his arm.

Malcolm cast a glance down the empty corridor. When he looked back at Trip, he actually seemed a bit anxious. "You know, I'd completely forgotten about Enterprise," he said, his voice low. "On the planet. It was as if it had completely..." He hesitated, searching for the right words. "...slipped my mind."

"I did too," Trip said. He stepped away from the door, and Malcolm's hand fell from his arm. He crossed his arms and leaned back against the bulkhead. "My sister, too. I forgot that my sister had died."

"Do you think there was a reason? I mean, some sort of pattern behind why we forgot what we did?"

Trip smiled grimly.

Malcolm considered him before speaking. "Maybe those memories were linked to something..."

When he didn't finish, Trip added, "Painful."

Malcolm nodded. "Perhaps the device -

"What, could sense that?" Trip said, pushing away from the wall.

"No, no," Malcolm said with wary laughter. Both of them stopped speaking as a crewman passed them and entered the mess. When the corridor was empty again, Malcolm added, "Well, perhaps."

"If so, then why?" Trip leered comically. "So it could clear our minds to use us for its own nefarious purposes?"

Malcolm laughed slightly, then sobered. "What if that's true?"

"Excuse me?"

Malcolm held his hands up in supplication. "What if it needed our minds clear, free, so it could...I'm not sure." He shook his head. "I don't know what I mean."

As another crewman passed them, Trip said, "We'll figure it out later." He put a grin on his face that he hoped looked more genuine than it felt. "Anyway, you're about to be late..."

"...for my first shift back. Yes," Malcolm replied without enthusiasm. He turned to go, then swung back to face Trip again. "What about last night?"

Trip nodded. "We can talk about it later," he said, triggering the mess doors. As Malcolm continued to stare at him blankly, Trip gave him a pointed look. With a sharp nod, Malcolm strode down the corridor, and Trip stared at his retreating back, thoughtful.

x-x

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