Pathway to Happiness

Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own them.

A/N: Thank you all for sticking with me and reading, everything I am I owe to you.

The hum of the cars engine was the only sound that could be heard in the car as the two detectives drove to the twins' school.

Elliot gripped the steering wheel so tightly that his knuckles, which still hadn't regained circulation from the earlier effort to keep himself from losing it, were absolutely bone white. He made sharp turns and swerved to avoid other cars. They were miraculously unharmed thus far but Elliot's mind was far, far away from the road at that moment.

Kathy was dead. Granted his ex-wife and he hadn't gotten along, if they had they would still be married, but the two of them had reached a place in there relationship where they could be civil to each other, in fact the two had met for lunch on more then one occasion to discuss the children and how best to help them through this transition. And now she was dead, murdered. Who would kill his ex-wife? Why? What were the circumstances of her death? Was it a home invasion? Had it been planned? Had she been raped?

Then his thoughts automatically switched to his children. They had lost their mother, they would be devastated. His first duty was to protect them, to comfort them, to salvage some semblance of family and normalcy from this tragedy.

Beside him, Olivia sneezed. He was reminded of her presence and the only thing he did to acknowledge it was to utter the customary "Bless you," the phrase had been uttered subconsciously but it had not been unnoticed.

"Thanks," Olivia returned in the same tone that suggested that she too was somewhere else at the moment. She couldn't get her dream out of her head. She wondered if the dreams had been a sign, a sign of this trouble that they found themselves in. Could she, through her nightmares have predicted a death? No it was just a horrible coincidence. People died all the time in New York. People were murdered every day. It was just a horrible twist of fate that Kathy was the one who was the victim. Besides in the dream it had been Elliot who died. Died, in her dream, Elliot had died. The thought still made her stomach play gymnast even as she sat next to him, even as she heard his breathing, even as she could see, that he was very much alive.

She couldn't shake the thought that something horrible was bound to happen to him at any second. Then she stopped herself, something bad had already happened to him. His ex-wife had been murdered, the mother of his children was gone and she wouldn't be coming back. Olivia felt somehow responsible for her death. Somehow it had to have been in her dreams, if she had noticed it, deciphered whatever her dreams might have been trying to tell her, perhaps Kathy would still be alive. The guilt was close to overwhelming her.

Elliot also felt guilt. Surely their was something that he could have done to prevent this? If he had given up his job, stayed with her, maybe he wouldn't be where he was now. He knew that this would have been useless. He and his wife had managed to fall out of love over the years. One night of unprotected sex 21 years ago had led to a shot gun wedding and brief fits of passion that resulted in his three other wonderful joys but in the end four children hadn't been enough to hold them together. He knew that if he had quit his job and stayed with her, that neither of them would be happy.

They arrived at the twins' school and Elliot pulled into a space in front of an ugly green trash can. The two partners got out of the car and headed for the main office of the school.

The secretary smiled at Elliot when she saw him enter the office "Hi," she greeted him "can I help you with something Elliot,"

Elliot smiled back at her and Olivia felt a pang of jealousy that this woman knew him well enough to call him by his first name "Yeah Mary," he said, still flashing that grin of his "could you send someone to get Dickie and Liz out of class. We have…" he trailed off and Olivia noticed the grin completely disappear from his face "We have a… family emergency,"

Olivia instinctively put her hand on Elliot's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.

Mary's grin also vanished "I'm sorry Elliot but-"

Elliot interrupted her "What? Is something wrong? Are they alright?" horrible thoughts flashed through his head, none of them rational. He couldn't have lost his two youngest children too. What could have happened? The millions of terrifying possibilities raced through his head and caused his stomach to jump into his throat then slide to his feet, somersaulting all the while. Olivia tightened her grasp on Elliot, for fear that he would slip away, somewhere where she wouldn't be able to reach him.

"Kathy's parents already picked them up," Mary informed him.

Elliot sighed with relief and Olivia loosened her grip on him, secure in the thought that he wouldn't be pulled away and sucked into the bowls of madness.

"Thanks Mary," Elliot said as he and Olivia turned to leave.

"No problem," Mary said cheerfully, blissfully unaware of the situation. Then as she finally noticed Olivia she added "Oh hello, and who are you?"

"I'm his partner," Olivia answered as she let the door to the office slam behind her. She disliked the far too perky secretary immensely.

As they walked back to the car, Olivia finally asked "So you know her?"

"Yeah," Elliot told her "Mary is an old friend of the family."

Olivia felt somewhat and unexpectedly relieved. Elliot was allowed to have his own life, he was allowed to date anyone he wanted, he had no idea how she felt about him so she had no right to feel jealous.

Elliot turned the key in the driver's side door of the car and unlocked it. The two slid into their respective seats and Elliot drove off.

At first Elliot drove without any idea where he should go. Relief that Dickie and Elizabeth were with Kathy's parents had caused him to temporarily foret about everything else. But he remembered and he pulled the car off the road and put his head in his hands.

"Elliot," Olivia said tentatively, placing a hand gently on his shoulder "you want to talk?" she asked, her voice full of concern.

He looked up at her, allowing a tear to roll down his cheek. He saw her, looking at him with the all the concern that she had always had. In that moment he was amazed that she was still there, that in all the pushing he had done of late, that she was still there and that she could still feel concern for him.

He nodded "We were starting to deal," he began "We could actually stand to be in the same room with each other for more than five seconds. Things weren't ever going to be the way they were. We knew that but we had reached a point where we could live with ourselves and the kids could live with us," he pored his soul out to her and spread the freshly broken pieces of his life in front of her and left them there for her to do with as she would.

She saw the broken pieces and she did her best to pick them up, to salvage some part of his soul "Elliot. No one could have seen this coming. You and the kids will get through this," she still felt that she might be somehow responsible but at that moment it was not about her and her pity party. It was about Elliot and helping Elliot.

"I know Liv," he admitted "but it still hurts. Even though we were no longer in love, it still hurts like hell."

She wrapped and arm around his shoulder and allowed her head to lean on his chest "I know it does Elliot but you're not alone. I'll help you guys, anyway that I can."

Elliot looked down at her and felt better. With her support he felt that perhaps things would work out "Thanks Olivia," he said, allowing his chin to rest on top of her head as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders..

They sat like that for a minute before Olivia pulled away.

This just wasn't right. She didn't feel comfortable being so comfortable with him. His ex-wife had been dead only a few hours, she didn't want to be a rebound girl. The thing was that it felt too right to be like that with him.

"We should get back to the station," she said in a small voice.

Elliot nodded and started the car. He began to drive, as he drove he thought. It felt so right to sit like that with Olivia but it was too soon for something to feel so right. He put those thoughts out of his mind and focused on other things. He would have to call Kathy's parents when he got back to the station. He would have to call Maureen and Kathleen. He would have to…

A loud sound interrupted his thoughts. A bullet cracked through his windshield. Glass flew in all directions as the car began to skid. Elliot could hear other gunshots ring out in the air.

"Get down!" he yelled, pulling Olivia towards the floor of the car with him as they continued to skid on the crowded Manhattan street.

TBC

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