Epilogue
A couple of months passed and I'm able to walk a little better. Mrs. Kent visited me practically every day for a month, and made several visits a week the next. She's the coolest adult I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.
Chloe is back in Metropolis having a lunch date with Bruce.
Score!
I'm back in school. There wasn't a lot to do cooped up in my apartment with a broken leg and if I'm ever getting out of the coffee business, I had to change my priorities. So I signed up for some online classes. It's worked all right so far. And do you know what's better? I don't have to sit in a desk, I've got my bed.
God, I love the 21st century.
I can't say the same thing for Smallville, though. The guy, not the town. He and Lana broke up a couple of weeks ago.
Totally saw that coming.
She's still Chloe's roommate. I feel so bad for my cousin. She's stuck in the middle of their drama. Something happened last month that pretty much changed the dynamic of everyone relationships.
Clark keeps to himself a lot, and he only ever speaks around Chloe and his parents.
Lana has been annoying lately. I'm beginning to think it's anthropologically imbedded in her DNA to be annoying, so it was completely reasonable for me to describe her as just that.
Chloe's happy and that's all I really care about at the moment.
"Lois, do you have a minute?"
I turned to see Clark standing by the doorway with that sad broody expression he's been showing off all month. It grated on my nerves but I kept my thoughts to myself. I certainly didn't want to further his depression.
"What do you need?"
"How's your leg?"
Oh, for the love of - "You came all the way here to ask me how my leg was. Really, Smallville, a call would be just as affective."
"Sorry, I just - I just wanted to - to talk."
"Okay." Now we're getting somewhere. I gesture to the couch and he heads to take a seat. I follow, pulling my knees to my chest and resting my feet on the sofa with me. This was his call so I wait for him to start.
After a dreadfully long moment…
"Do you think some people are meant to be alone?" he asked, voice low and distant.
Now, I admit, it was plain as day that he was totally infatuated with Lana Lang. The telescopes and pictures he had of her in his loft was proof of that, but the year or so that I've spent with both of them, I saw no spark. No great romance between them. Just angst, angst, angst and depression.
It's not exactly what I call a recipe for perfect love.
"No."
"You don't?"
It's as if my answer surprised him.
I'm so not surprised.
"I think some people choose to be alone."
"What do you mean?"
He's the straight A student and attending a University yet he's asking me what I meant. I go to school on the internet. Where's the logic in that?
"There's always a choice," I rephrase.
"But what if destiny takes away your choice?"
I ignored that. It didn't make any sense to me. "Destiny is all about choice."
"But what if it's not?" he pressed.
What is Smallville's deal with destiny? He says the word like it's poisonous.
"Clark, if you think I'm going to give you words of wisdom, you've got another thing coming. The world isn't always a happy place. It's not just about sunrise and sunsets. Or waking up at the crack of dawn - "
"But what if you didn't have a choice about how you wanted to live your life?" he continued to ask and it's leaving me more than justconfused, it's making angry.
"If someone threw me overboard in the middle of the ocean, I'm going to fight like hell to swim to shore. Destiny may have brought me there, but it's my choice to fight for my life." I paused, trying to calm myself. "We never lack choice, Clark. We sometimes just don't have the best ones to choose from."
"You make it sound so simple but it's not," he says in an accusatory tone.
"Hmm…" I don't buy it. "Would you mind telling me first what exactly we're talking about? I enjoy metaphorical discussions as much as the next person, but I'm feeling a tad too blind here."
"It's nothing," he avoided.
I roll my eyes. "You're an asshole sometimes, do you know that?"
Clark's eyes rose, shocked by my outburst. He should be shocked; he's acting like a selfish little child.
He stood up and I could see him burning in anger. It's a good thing he didn't have heat vision, I'd be fried.
"You didn't have to say that," he said. "Not everyone has an emotional wall the length of the Great Wall of China."
"You think I have an emotional wall, you're the one walking around for the past month with an attitude. Thinking the world is over because you're not with Lana Lang."
He flinched, I knew he would.
"You don't know what you're talking about," he said angrily. "You know nothing about me and Lana."
I size him up and realize he's probably right.
"No, no I don't." I didn't say it to admit I was wrong or anything, it's simply a fact. "I think it's time for you to leave."
"It's best that I do," he said, leaving my apartment completely and utterly upset.
As far as I'm concerned, he deserves it.
The following evening, I get a call from a hysteric Chloe.
"What the hell happened between you and Clark today? He's been acting grumpier than usual."
"Don't look at me," I answered. "He's the one acting like a jerk."
"Lois, he's going through a lot right now," my cousin tried to explain softly but I wasn't going to let him off the hook as easily as Chloe always seems to do.
"Then he should be a man and suck it up, because I'm not going to baby him, Chlo. And neither should you."
"You don't understand - "
I cut her off. "I understand plenty."
"There are circumstances - " then I did something I never thought I'd do to my cousin. I hung up on her.
She's doesn't know it, but it's hurting me more than it's hurting her. I'm just not going to stay on the line and listen to Chloe preach and defend Clark Kent to me. He could do that himself.
A part of me doesn't really know what to expect. I go to sleep and I dream that same dream I've always had. The one with the guy in the red cape. Except this time, it's no nightmare.
I see myself flying with him. Seeing the world. I could still feel his kisses when we made love underneath the stars.
It's all so vivid.
So real.
And every time I see Clark, I'm reminded of who he's not and that just pisses me off. Seriously.
I shouldn't be too hard on him but it's obvious that he's emotionally pampered by everyone, and that's not really what he needs.
How would I know that?
Contrary to popular belief, I do know some things about Smallville.
The next day, I hitch a ride with Mrs. Kent back to the Kent Farm, there was somebody there that I needed to talk to.
"Can I come in?" I asked for the first time ever.
He refused to look at me.
"No."
I smiled. He could only ever use that word with me.
"What are you doing?"
"Planning my future, what do you think I'm doing," he answered, his tone laced with spite. I'd be lying to you if I said that I'm not surprised, I didn't think he had it in him.
"You came to me wanting answers, and that's what I gave. Should I be sorry that you didn't like what you heard?"
"No," he spun around, his quickness reminded me of someone. "But you didn't have to be that - "
"What, Clark?" I paused. "Honest."
He looked away.
"Did you want me to lie to you, tell you what you wanted to hear? That would've defeated the purpose of asking me in the first place."
"I know!"
"Then why ask?"
He turned back around to face me. "I just didn't expect you to be that honest. No one is that honest."
"Even you?"
His face falters and I could see that there were secrets hidden behind the sea of blue in his eyes.
"It's complicated."
"You don't need to explain," I assure. "I'm not here to interrogate you. You can keep however many things to yourself as you want. It's your business, not mine. But when you ask me something, don't expect me to pretend."
He looks at me and I can finally see that he understood.
"I know I don't say this often but, you've been a really good friend to me, Lois," he reveals and I let out an appreciative smile.
I guess this means we're friends again.
"Anytime." And I meant that in the most genuine way. Feeling that we're getting too serious, I did what I'm normally prone to doing. Escaping. "I'm gonna head into the house and help your mom set the table."
"Am I threatening your pride, Lois?" he asked as I made my way towards the stairs.
"Only if you - " I stopped, the conversation sounding a little too familiar. "What did you say?"
"I was just saying that - I'm sorry if I offended you."
I smiled at the sudden way that he got all shy. Despite his annoying, broody and selfish tendencies, there are moments when he reminds me of the man in my dreams. A moment where I can believe that he was inside of Clark somewhere.
"No, you didn't."
Then I make my way down the stairs.
Whoa.
The End
Author's Notes: No need to panic folks, there's a sequel. I've always intended a sequel, so I have a general idea of where this is going. Again, like Awake, this is composed of a Prologue, 5 Acts in between and a Epilogue. Bear with me. Writing this has been a lot of fun. I don't often go into Lois's phsyche, but man, it was quite a ride. Thank you everyone that's left a comment. I'm highly appreciative of every one of them.
Coming Soon!
"Cognizant"
She thought it was only a dream.