Disclaimer- OWNS NOTHING!!!!!!!!!
A/N- Okay!!!!!!!!!!!! Here's the next chapter!!!!!!!!!! And if you didn't read the last A/N in the last chapter I said this would jump in to the summer of third year, because well never mind!!!!!! And the marauders have already found out about Remus and all that crap. Okay? We clear now? Okay!!!!!
WARNING- OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS THINGS BAD!!!!!!!!! SO IF YOU DON'T LIKE CHILD ABUSE DO NOT READ THIS!!!!!!!!!!!! OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Thirteen-year-old Lily walked inside of her house and looked around. That's what was always there, nothing, only silence unless you counted her whimpers when her father came to pay her visit. Her mom was at work along with her father, thank gosh on her part. Her sister was at the mall just like every other day with her friends. And Lily was left at home alone. That's how she liked it though without no one there, but her. Today she wore a white skirt and a white tank top. Her hair was hanging loosely down her back and curling at the end and framing her face beautifully. She sighed and walked up stairs to write in her diary for the day.
'Dear Diary
Only three more weeks till school starts up again. I can't wait. My father had gotten more physical by the moment. Soon He'll actually be screwing me. Oh god I can't think about that. No one knows, it's our little secret he says. Which it is, if any one found out think about what they would think of me. My friends would shun me, and give the marauders another thing to pick on me about along with the Slytherins, because it's my fault. My life is screwed up. Anyways my friends and me are going to learn the spell to become Animagus. Jenna going to do all the research crap while we're on summer vacation because she has more access to the wizard world. Anyways-'
"Flower." Lily heard a familiar gruff voice say from her doorway. She slowly turned her head and there he was, her father.
"D-dad aren't you supposed to be at work?" Lily asked closing her diary and putting it under her bed.
"It's my lunch break." Her father said.
"T-then shouldn't you be eating lunch?" Lily asked getting up from her bed.
"I thought I would come and see my precious flower." Her father said and walking over to her with out closing the door.
"D-dad." She stuttered about the time he pushed her to the bed and did the unthinkable.
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Ms. Stover drove up in her driveway feeling as if there was something wrong with Lily. She saw Sam's car in the driveway and looked back at the house before getting out and walking inside quietly. When she entered the house she closed the door and could hear grunts and cries from the upstairs. Fear clutched her throat as she hurriedly raced upstairs and looked in her daughters room to see the worst thing imaginable, something she wasn't prepared for. Sam Evans rapping her daughter.
"Get off her!" Her mother yelled going inside and pushing him off her daughter. "Lily are you okay?" She asked gathering Lily up in her arms. "You b#sterd! You ever come near her again and I'll kill you!" Ms. Stover warned.
"Not if I get you first." Mr. Evans said that wild gleam in his eye again. Suddenly he tore Ms. Stover away from her daughter and on to the ground. He then started to beat her over and over again. Lily watched in horror as her father beat her mother to death, it was bad enough what he did to her, but to her mother. Finally he stopped and looked down at Ms Stover who was well dead. He turned his made eyes to Lily. "See Flower what you did. You killed her." Her father said walking back over to Lily to finish what he had started.
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Lily let the hot water run over her body as she cried in the shower. Her father had left over thirty minutes ago taking her dead lifeless mother with him for some reason. Now Lily was all alone to try and get rid of the dirt alone. She slowly slid down the shower wall and cried into her lap letting the hot water run down her face to intermingle with the hot tears. She didn't know what to do anymore; she couldn't tell Sierra or Allison, or any of her friends, she was alone in this. Her mother was gone, and her father would be back to no less hurt her some more. She wanted a way out of her life, but couldn't think of any way how. She slowly turned the water off and pulled her sore battered body out of the stall to get dressed in something anything. Her white skirt was ruined from her previous encounter.
She walked in her room and slipped into a pair of gray jogging paints and a baggy black skirt with the words Gator Bait on it so it wouldn't be tight against her bruises. She then brushed her hair and then walked down stairs and sat on the couch her mind not working properly. She slowly lay down and turned on the cartoons and watched them.
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By the time Petunia came home it was dark out and Lily still hadn't moved from her spot, her eyes were still opened and she was still hurting. Petunia looked at her sister funny before rolling her eyes.
"What happened to you?" She snapped.
When Lily didn't answer Petunia only shrugged and went upstairs to her room to call Stacy. Lily however didn't move, she just laid there as if in a trance. When Lily finally did snap out of it was around midnight. She got up off the couch and held her stomach as pain shot up in from where she had been hit after her father got finished. She slowly walked up the stairs and walked into her mother's room. She looked around before closing the door and walking over to her bed and slipping in between the covers. She didn't know if her father was home, nor did she care right at the moment, all she wanted was some one to hold her and make her fell safe.
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The sun shone on Lily's face making her fiery red hair shine in the sun. Lily slowly opened her eyes and looked with dead eyes out the window of her mother's old room. She was curled into a ball underneath the covers with her hair lying around her shoulder and face. She sighed and let a tear leek out of her eye as the events of yesterday played through her mind again. The pain, the horror, and the loss she felt. Suddenly the phone rang and she groaned not wanting to move or anything, but when she saw that no one else was going to answer it she slowly got up and answered the phone on her mothers night stand table.
"Hello." She saw in a dead voice.
"Lily I'm so sorry." Sierra said from the other line.
"What are you talking about?" Lily asked.
"You don't know? It's all over the news about your mother being mugged and beaten to death. God Lily I'm so sorry." Sierra said.
'So that's what he wanted her body for.' "I saw it." Lily answered.
"It must be hard, huh?" She asked.
"Yeah." Lily answered.
"If you need anything I'm right here Lils." Sierra said.
"Thanks Sierra." Lily said tears sliding down her cheeks. "I have to go now. I'll call you later though." Lily said in a dull lifeless voice.
"Oh, ok Lily." Sierra said. "But are you sure your ok?" She asked not wanting Lily to do anything stupid.
"Yeah." Lily said. "Bye Sierra." Lily said and hung up before lying back down in the covers her dull lifeless emerald green eyes looking straight out the window.
"You!" She heard her sister say from behind her. "This is all your fault!" Petunia said.
"Yeah." Lily said.
"You don't even care you freak!" Petunia said before stomping off to cry.
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Lily was still lying in her mother's bed when her father got home from work. She didn't even register him calling her name and walking up stairs or opening her mother's door.
"Shocked flower that your dear mother is dead?" Her father asked.
Lily's body tensed up as she looked over at him not saying a thing. "Don't worry I'm sure we can find something to do to take away the pain of your mother." He said smiling as he walked closer to her.
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'Dear Diary
It's only a week before school starts again. I'm going to Diagon Alley in an hour to meet up with Sierra. My father hurts me whenever he feels like it. He takes me, makes me feel dirty. I can't wait to get back to Hogwarts, I would even be glad to see James Potter. Anything would be better then this; Then him hurting me abusing me. I just don't know how long I can take it, how long I can hold out. Well I should go and get ready. Bye
~Lily~
Lily closed her diary and put it under her bed. Afterwards she walked over to her closet and picked out a pair of baggy black cargo pants with a black shirt that showed her curves and places she had grown into more and added her thin black jacket. Then she brushed her hair and put on a black hat and black sneakers. Then she grabbed her bag and went down stairs to wait for Sierra to come and pick her up.
"Going to see the freaks I see. It's bad enough having you here, but bringing more here... I don't even see why they would want to be friends with a disgusting thing like your self. They're probable not you know. They're probable just pretending and secretly making fun of you." Her sister Petunia said from the stairs. She wore blue jeans and a bright fuzzy pink top.
"Whatever." Lily said not wanting to fight with her sister right now, or ever for that matter. Just then the doorbell rang and Lily went to answer it.
"Lily!" Sierra said and hugged her friend who hugged her back. "How you doing?" She asked.
"Peachy. Come on let's go." Lily said walking out of the door to the Bailey's car.
"Lily dear how are you?" Mrs. Bailey asked.
"Fine thank you." Lily said politely and gave a fake smile with hollow eyes. Mrs. Bailey smiled sadly before driving off to the Leaky Cauldron.
"So are you and me the only ones showing up?" Lily asked.
"As far as I know. Allison got grounded along with Jenna and Candy may get back in today from Spain. They all want to see you real bad Lils. That's one of the reason Allison and Jenna got in trouble because they blew up in their parents faces. And Candy's been begging her parents to leave Spain so we could all be here for you." Sierra explained.
"Thanks that means a lot, but I don't want you to drop your lives just for me." Lily said.
"Lily." Sierra said. "We're your friends, and friends stick together through anything." Sierra said.
A tear slid down Lily's cheek. "Thanks Sierra."
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When they reached they Leaky Cauldron both girls walked straight toward the back to get to Diagon Alley. When the wall opened up both girls walked in the mass of witches and wizards making pleasant conversation. They both had to get their school things so they decided to get that out of the way and then do the fun things.
When their school shopping was finished they walked to the ice cream parlor. "You go pick a table and I'll get the order." Sierra said and only got a nod from Lily as she went and picked a table outside.
"Lily is that you?" She heard someone ask from behind her.
Lily turned around and saw Remus standing there, alone. "Remus, yeah it would appear to be me." Lily answered curious about where the other three marauders were.
"How ya doing? You look great." Remus said with a smile.
"Yeah whatever." Lily said and turned back around to stare at the street.
"Is something wrong?" Remus asked coming over and sitting down beside of her.
Lily didn't look at him. "No, nothings wrong. Everything's wonderful." Lily answered in a monotone.
"Are you sure? Because-" Remus began.
"Remus I said I'm fine!" Lily snapped. She then sighed and rubbed her head. "I'm sorry Remus, I shouldn't have snapped at you. I'm just a little off. Can you forgive me?" Lily asked looking at him with dull green eyes.
"Sure." Remus said confused with her odd behavior.
Lily didn't say anything after that, she only nodded her head and waited for Sierra to come back. Remus looked at her and sighed. "Here Lils." Sierra said walking over to them and handing Lily a chocolate ice cream. "What are you doing here?" Sierra asked Remus.
"Well I was talking to Lily. Sierra can I talk to you?" Remus asked. Sierra only nodded her head and walked off with Remus a little ways. "What's wrong with Lily?" Remus asked.
"I'm not sure if I should tell you because I don't think Lily wants everyone to know about it." Sierra said.
"I promise I won't tell, not even James, Sirius, or Peter." Remus said.
Sierra sighed and nodded her head. "Her mom just died. They were real close too. Lily took it hard, been sorta out of it." Sierra told him.
"How'd it happen?" Remus asked.
"Muggers trying to rob her mom, beat her to death. It was on the muggle news." Sierra explained as Remus nodded.
"Poor Lily." He said.
"Yeah. I should go now." Sierra said walking back over to Lily and leaving Remus looking at his friend.
"Hey Lils after we do this what do you want to do?" Sierra asked.
"I dunno." Lily shrugged.
"You want to go look at dress robes, or what?" Sierra asked finishing off her ice cream.
"Sure if you want. Its fine with me." Lily answered quietly.
Sierra looked at her friend sadly and wondered if there was more bothering Lily then what she was letting on. She sighed and shook her head as she finished off her ice cream and both she and Lily left to go look through the stores.
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(They left Diagon Ally and are now on their way back to Lily's House)
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Lily sat with her head against the window and looked out at the passing cars with dead eyes quietly. Sierra sat watching her friend sadly, worry shining in her eyes. Mrs. Bailey glanced back at Lily and would often frown sadly for the girl. Lily however took no notice at their staring, she only thought about what nightmare awaited her back at home.
"Here we are dear." Mrs. Bailey voice broke through her thoughts. Lily slowly blinked and raised her head up and slowly got out of the car with her bags.
"Thank you Mrs. Bailey." Lily said looking down at the ground as she walked around the car.
"See ya Lily." Sierra called out the window.
"Yeah see ya on the train." Lily said waving goodbye before she entered her house to what she new awaited her at night.
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Lily slowly opened the car door so she could get out of the car to board Hogwarts express. Her father has just finished doing 'bad things' to her; he had started when they first started out for Kings Cross. Tears glistened in her eyes as she walked toward the barrier. She quickly blinked them away as she went through and saw her way out of hell, to Hogwarts. She was happier then usual now that she was going back to Hogwarts and away from him. She wouldn't have to worry about him at night or when she was alone, because he wasn't there. She was happy, or as happy as a depressed person could be.
Lily pushed a piece of hair behind her ear and continued walking. Her hair was up in a hair class with the front pieces framing her beautiful face. She wore a pair of jean capris and a black tank top with a pair of dark blue sneakers. Her curves could be seen in all the right places and she looked really beautiful, but her eyes remained dull and lifeless nothing like they used to be. They used to be full of life, but now they were.. dead.
"Lily!" Lily heard someone shout from behind her. Lily turned and saw Allison there running up to her. When Allison reached her she hugged her. "I'm so sorry. I would have contacted you sooner-"
"Its ok." Lily said, as the two friends broke apart. "Really. Come on and lets get an compartment." Lily said and Allison nodded. Then both girls quickly got on the train and found an compartment at the end of the train, considering most of them were full.
"I'm so grateful to be going back to Hogwarts. My parents were really starting to bug me." Allison said.
"How so." Lily asked looking out the window, not really wanting to talk, but didn't want to push Allison away.
"They're just a lot stricter then usual. I wish they would lay." Allison said. "SO how have you been holding up Lils?" Allison asked.
"Great." Lily said. "Couldn't be better." Lily said a bit sarcastically.
"You know if you ever did anything we're here for you right? Jenna, Sierra, Candy, and me. Were all here for you Lils."
"Thanks Allison, but I'm really fine now." Lily lied. She would never be fine, never, not even in a million years would she be fine. How could she be? About that time the train started to pull out of the station and on its way to Hogwarts.
"Wonder where the other three are." Allison said.
"Probable looking for us or something." Lily mumbled leaning her head against the window and taking out a book called, The Wheel of time, by Robert Jordan. Allison watched Lily, she noticed that her eyes weren't sparkling anymore, something was wrong. And not just that her mother had died either, she wondered if Sierra could see it too.
"Hey your in our compartment." They heard a voice say.
Lily didn't bothering looking up toward them, however Allison did. There was Peter Pettigrew standing in the doorway. "Hey it was empty when we got here." Allison said.
"We always sit here, every year." Peter said.
"Well maybe its time for a change." Allison said, not wanting to have deal with him.
"Peter, Peter, Peter don't you have any respect to ladies." Said the infamous Sirius Black. "Hello Beautiful ladies. I must say you do get even prettier ever year." He said looking both girls over.
"Save it Black." Allison said glaring at him.
"Get out of our compartment." Peter said.
"We don't have too." Allison said.
"Yes you do!" Peter said.
"What and who are you fighting with Peter." Came the voice of Remus.
"That stupid Evans friend, Gold's her name." Peter said rudely.
"Hey don't call her stupid!" Allison said.
"Yeah Peter. She hasn't done anything to you." Remus said looking at him oddly.
"Who?" Came the last voice of the boys group. James Potter. James Potter also came in the compartment and looked at the two girls. First he looked at Allison and dismissed her, but when he looked at Lily he immediately saw the change in her. For one she was prettier then he had ever saw her, but the thing that caught him the most was the sadness surrounding her.
"Tell them too leave!" Peter said. The only reason he wanted them to leave was because of Lily. He hated Lily about as much as Malfoy and Snape, because of first year and her origin.
"Now that wouldn't be gentlemen like." James said.
"So, she's a, a-" Peter never got to finish his sentence.
"Come on Allison let's go." Lily said softly standing up and reaching for her trunk.
"Now hold on!" James said, for some odd reason he didn't want her to leave. After all they didn't like each other, so why did he want her to stay? "No one said you had to leave." He said.
"Yeah there's plenty of room here for all of us." Remus said smiling softly at Lily who had by now cast her eyes downward. "SO just sit down." He said.
"But she's a-" Peter started.
"I wouldn't finish that sentence if I were you Pettigrew." Allison said dangerously. Peter looked at her and then plopped into the set and didn't say another word. "Now that's all taken care of you can talk about whatever you want and we'll talk about what we have to talk about." Allison said as she watched James, Sirius, and Remus start to take a set.
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Hours had past and the Marauders were talking among themselves, while Lily continued to read her book, and Allison looked through a sports magazine. There had been no sign of Sierra, Candy, or Jenna anywhere so far, and Lily was beginning to wonder if they had missed the train.
"So Gold you gonna try out for Quidditch this year?" James Potter asked.
"Most likely why?" Allison answered distractedly.
"What position?" James asked.
"Chaser, Jenna's trying out for beater." Allison replied still not removing her eyes form the magazine.
"Oh really what a coincidence! We're trying out for Quidditch too! I'm trying out for Beater and Jamie boy is trying for Chaser!" Sirius exclaimed. "But wait we did that last year!" He said faking surprise.
BY that time Allison had raised her eyes and was now looking at James and Black. "What's your point?" She snapped.
"Oh nothing." Sirius said as he and James went by to talk to their other two friends. Allison stared at them before shaking her head slightly. By that time the intercom came on alerting them that they were almost at Hogwarts. "You four out so Lily and I can change." Allison said standing up.
"WE won't peek!" Whined Sirius.
"OUT!" Allison said and watched the four boys leave. "I really hate them." Allison said.
"Come on let's change." Lily said and quickly changed into her school robes as the train came to a stop. When they train was completely stopped the two friends made their way off of the train and toward the carriages.
"Wonder where the other three are?" Allison asked.
Lily only looked at her and shrugged as the horseless carriages carried them toward Hogwarts for yet another year.
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"LILY! ALLISON! Over here!" They heard a voice shout as they entered Hogwarts.
Allison looked over toward the voices and saw Jenna, Sierra, and Candy there waving them over. "Come on." Allison said walking over toward the three girls with Lily behind her. When they reached the girls Jenna and Candy hugged Lily. "Where were you on the train?" Allison asked.
"Up toward the front." Sierra answered. "Where were you two?"
"Back. We had to share with the marauders." Allison said.
"That must have been just dreadful." Sierra said and the girls all laughed except Lily.
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James watched Lily thoughtfully. Usually she joined in their laughter and would yell at him if he even came two inches near her, but she was different. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but something was off with her. He could practically see the cloud of sadness and despair shadowing her from the sun and happiness.
"Hey what cha looking at?" Sirius asked.
"Nothing." James said quickly diverting his eyes away from the girl.
"Ok." Sirius said. "When they gonna let us in? I'm starving!" Sirius whined.
"You just ate ten cauldron cakes and five chocolate frogs! How can you possible eat anymore?" Remus asked looking at Sirius awkward.
"Well a growing boys gots to eat doesn't he?" Sirius asked. Remus only rolled his eyes about the time students started to go into the Great Hall.
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Lily laid in bed with her curtains drawn thinking about the happy students around her, her happy friends. She just couldn't find joy with them anymore. All through dinner they joked and laughed, but Lily couldn't. She just couldn't find it in herself to be happy. Was it self-pity, she didn't know? All she knew was she couldn't be the gloom of the bunch; she couldn't let her friends see how hurt and depressed she was. Because then they wouldn't be happy, and Lily couldn't do that to them. She couldn't and wouldn't be the cause of their sadness. She knew what she had to do, she had separate herself from them, separate herself from them for good, no matter how much it hurt her.
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THAT'S THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOPE IT WASN'T BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET ME KNOW OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED THANKS A BUNCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'll try and post the next chapter soon, bye!!!!!!!!!!
And if you want me to email you whenever I update tell me and I will!!!!!!!!!!!! BYE!!!!!!!!!
ZombieGurl98
Always
&
Forever
A/N- Okay!!!!!!!!!!!! Here's the next chapter!!!!!!!!!! And if you didn't read the last A/N in the last chapter I said this would jump in to the summer of third year, because well never mind!!!!!! And the marauders have already found out about Remus and all that crap. Okay? We clear now? Okay!!!!!
WARNING- OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS THINGS BAD!!!!!!!!! SO IF YOU DON'T LIKE CHILD ABUSE DO NOT READ THIS!!!!!!!!!!!! OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Thirteen-year-old Lily walked inside of her house and looked around. That's what was always there, nothing, only silence unless you counted her whimpers when her father came to pay her visit. Her mom was at work along with her father, thank gosh on her part. Her sister was at the mall just like every other day with her friends. And Lily was left at home alone. That's how she liked it though without no one there, but her. Today she wore a white skirt and a white tank top. Her hair was hanging loosely down her back and curling at the end and framing her face beautifully. She sighed and walked up stairs to write in her diary for the day.
'Dear Diary
Only three more weeks till school starts up again. I can't wait. My father had gotten more physical by the moment. Soon He'll actually be screwing me. Oh god I can't think about that. No one knows, it's our little secret he says. Which it is, if any one found out think about what they would think of me. My friends would shun me, and give the marauders another thing to pick on me about along with the Slytherins, because it's my fault. My life is screwed up. Anyways my friends and me are going to learn the spell to become Animagus. Jenna going to do all the research crap while we're on summer vacation because she has more access to the wizard world. Anyways-'
"Flower." Lily heard a familiar gruff voice say from her doorway. She slowly turned her head and there he was, her father.
"D-dad aren't you supposed to be at work?" Lily asked closing her diary and putting it under her bed.
"It's my lunch break." Her father said.
"T-then shouldn't you be eating lunch?" Lily asked getting up from her bed.
"I thought I would come and see my precious flower." Her father said and walking over to her with out closing the door.
"D-dad." She stuttered about the time he pushed her to the bed and did the unthinkable.
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Ms. Stover drove up in her driveway feeling as if there was something wrong with Lily. She saw Sam's car in the driveway and looked back at the house before getting out and walking inside quietly. When she entered the house she closed the door and could hear grunts and cries from the upstairs. Fear clutched her throat as she hurriedly raced upstairs and looked in her daughters room to see the worst thing imaginable, something she wasn't prepared for. Sam Evans rapping her daughter.
"Get off her!" Her mother yelled going inside and pushing him off her daughter. "Lily are you okay?" She asked gathering Lily up in her arms. "You b#sterd! You ever come near her again and I'll kill you!" Ms. Stover warned.
"Not if I get you first." Mr. Evans said that wild gleam in his eye again. Suddenly he tore Ms. Stover away from her daughter and on to the ground. He then started to beat her over and over again. Lily watched in horror as her father beat her mother to death, it was bad enough what he did to her, but to her mother. Finally he stopped and looked down at Ms Stover who was well dead. He turned his made eyes to Lily. "See Flower what you did. You killed her." Her father said walking back over to Lily to finish what he had started.
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Lily let the hot water run over her body as she cried in the shower. Her father had left over thirty minutes ago taking her dead lifeless mother with him for some reason. Now Lily was all alone to try and get rid of the dirt alone. She slowly slid down the shower wall and cried into her lap letting the hot water run down her face to intermingle with the hot tears. She didn't know what to do anymore; she couldn't tell Sierra or Allison, or any of her friends, she was alone in this. Her mother was gone, and her father would be back to no less hurt her some more. She wanted a way out of her life, but couldn't think of any way how. She slowly turned the water off and pulled her sore battered body out of the stall to get dressed in something anything. Her white skirt was ruined from her previous encounter.
She walked in her room and slipped into a pair of gray jogging paints and a baggy black skirt with the words Gator Bait on it so it wouldn't be tight against her bruises. She then brushed her hair and then walked down stairs and sat on the couch her mind not working properly. She slowly lay down and turned on the cartoons and watched them.
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By the time Petunia came home it was dark out and Lily still hadn't moved from her spot, her eyes were still opened and she was still hurting. Petunia looked at her sister funny before rolling her eyes.
"What happened to you?" She snapped.
When Lily didn't answer Petunia only shrugged and went upstairs to her room to call Stacy. Lily however didn't move, she just laid there as if in a trance. When Lily finally did snap out of it was around midnight. She got up off the couch and held her stomach as pain shot up in from where she had been hit after her father got finished. She slowly walked up the stairs and walked into her mother's room. She looked around before closing the door and walking over to her bed and slipping in between the covers. She didn't know if her father was home, nor did she care right at the moment, all she wanted was some one to hold her and make her fell safe.
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The sun shone on Lily's face making her fiery red hair shine in the sun. Lily slowly opened her eyes and looked with dead eyes out the window of her mother's old room. She was curled into a ball underneath the covers with her hair lying around her shoulder and face. She sighed and let a tear leek out of her eye as the events of yesterday played through her mind again. The pain, the horror, and the loss she felt. Suddenly the phone rang and she groaned not wanting to move or anything, but when she saw that no one else was going to answer it she slowly got up and answered the phone on her mothers night stand table.
"Hello." She saw in a dead voice.
"Lily I'm so sorry." Sierra said from the other line.
"What are you talking about?" Lily asked.
"You don't know? It's all over the news about your mother being mugged and beaten to death. God Lily I'm so sorry." Sierra said.
'So that's what he wanted her body for.' "I saw it." Lily answered.
"It must be hard, huh?" She asked.
"Yeah." Lily answered.
"If you need anything I'm right here Lils." Sierra said.
"Thanks Sierra." Lily said tears sliding down her cheeks. "I have to go now. I'll call you later though." Lily said in a dull lifeless voice.
"Oh, ok Lily." Sierra said. "But are you sure your ok?" She asked not wanting Lily to do anything stupid.
"Yeah." Lily said. "Bye Sierra." Lily said and hung up before lying back down in the covers her dull lifeless emerald green eyes looking straight out the window.
"You!" She heard her sister say from behind her. "This is all your fault!" Petunia said.
"Yeah." Lily said.
"You don't even care you freak!" Petunia said before stomping off to cry.
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Lily was still lying in her mother's bed when her father got home from work. She didn't even register him calling her name and walking up stairs or opening her mother's door.
"Shocked flower that your dear mother is dead?" Her father asked.
Lily's body tensed up as she looked over at him not saying a thing. "Don't worry I'm sure we can find something to do to take away the pain of your mother." He said smiling as he walked closer to her.
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'Dear Diary
It's only a week before school starts again. I'm going to Diagon Alley in an hour to meet up with Sierra. My father hurts me whenever he feels like it. He takes me, makes me feel dirty. I can't wait to get back to Hogwarts, I would even be glad to see James Potter. Anything would be better then this; Then him hurting me abusing me. I just don't know how long I can take it, how long I can hold out. Well I should go and get ready. Bye
~Lily~
Lily closed her diary and put it under her bed. Afterwards she walked over to her closet and picked out a pair of baggy black cargo pants with a black shirt that showed her curves and places she had grown into more and added her thin black jacket. Then she brushed her hair and put on a black hat and black sneakers. Then she grabbed her bag and went down stairs to wait for Sierra to come and pick her up.
"Going to see the freaks I see. It's bad enough having you here, but bringing more here... I don't even see why they would want to be friends with a disgusting thing like your self. They're probable not you know. They're probable just pretending and secretly making fun of you." Her sister Petunia said from the stairs. She wore blue jeans and a bright fuzzy pink top.
"Whatever." Lily said not wanting to fight with her sister right now, or ever for that matter. Just then the doorbell rang and Lily went to answer it.
"Lily!" Sierra said and hugged her friend who hugged her back. "How you doing?" She asked.
"Peachy. Come on let's go." Lily said walking out of the door to the Bailey's car.
"Lily dear how are you?" Mrs. Bailey asked.
"Fine thank you." Lily said politely and gave a fake smile with hollow eyes. Mrs. Bailey smiled sadly before driving off to the Leaky Cauldron.
"So are you and me the only ones showing up?" Lily asked.
"As far as I know. Allison got grounded along with Jenna and Candy may get back in today from Spain. They all want to see you real bad Lils. That's one of the reason Allison and Jenna got in trouble because they blew up in their parents faces. And Candy's been begging her parents to leave Spain so we could all be here for you." Sierra explained.
"Thanks that means a lot, but I don't want you to drop your lives just for me." Lily said.
"Lily." Sierra said. "We're your friends, and friends stick together through anything." Sierra said.
A tear slid down Lily's cheek. "Thanks Sierra."
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When they reached they Leaky Cauldron both girls walked straight toward the back to get to Diagon Alley. When the wall opened up both girls walked in the mass of witches and wizards making pleasant conversation. They both had to get their school things so they decided to get that out of the way and then do the fun things.
When their school shopping was finished they walked to the ice cream parlor. "You go pick a table and I'll get the order." Sierra said and only got a nod from Lily as she went and picked a table outside.
"Lily is that you?" She heard someone ask from behind her.
Lily turned around and saw Remus standing there, alone. "Remus, yeah it would appear to be me." Lily answered curious about where the other three marauders were.
"How ya doing? You look great." Remus said with a smile.
"Yeah whatever." Lily said and turned back around to stare at the street.
"Is something wrong?" Remus asked coming over and sitting down beside of her.
Lily didn't look at him. "No, nothings wrong. Everything's wonderful." Lily answered in a monotone.
"Are you sure? Because-" Remus began.
"Remus I said I'm fine!" Lily snapped. She then sighed and rubbed her head. "I'm sorry Remus, I shouldn't have snapped at you. I'm just a little off. Can you forgive me?" Lily asked looking at him with dull green eyes.
"Sure." Remus said confused with her odd behavior.
Lily didn't say anything after that, she only nodded her head and waited for Sierra to come back. Remus looked at her and sighed. "Here Lils." Sierra said walking over to them and handing Lily a chocolate ice cream. "What are you doing here?" Sierra asked Remus.
"Well I was talking to Lily. Sierra can I talk to you?" Remus asked. Sierra only nodded her head and walked off with Remus a little ways. "What's wrong with Lily?" Remus asked.
"I'm not sure if I should tell you because I don't think Lily wants everyone to know about it." Sierra said.
"I promise I won't tell, not even James, Sirius, or Peter." Remus said.
Sierra sighed and nodded her head. "Her mom just died. They were real close too. Lily took it hard, been sorta out of it." Sierra told him.
"How'd it happen?" Remus asked.
"Muggers trying to rob her mom, beat her to death. It was on the muggle news." Sierra explained as Remus nodded.
"Poor Lily." He said.
"Yeah. I should go now." Sierra said walking back over to Lily and leaving Remus looking at his friend.
"Hey Lils after we do this what do you want to do?" Sierra asked.
"I dunno." Lily shrugged.
"You want to go look at dress robes, or what?" Sierra asked finishing off her ice cream.
"Sure if you want. Its fine with me." Lily answered quietly.
Sierra looked at her friend sadly and wondered if there was more bothering Lily then what she was letting on. She sighed and shook her head as she finished off her ice cream and both she and Lily left to go look through the stores.
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(They left Diagon Ally and are now on their way back to Lily's House)
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Lily sat with her head against the window and looked out at the passing cars with dead eyes quietly. Sierra sat watching her friend sadly, worry shining in her eyes. Mrs. Bailey glanced back at Lily and would often frown sadly for the girl. Lily however took no notice at their staring, she only thought about what nightmare awaited her back at home.
"Here we are dear." Mrs. Bailey voice broke through her thoughts. Lily slowly blinked and raised her head up and slowly got out of the car with her bags.
"Thank you Mrs. Bailey." Lily said looking down at the ground as she walked around the car.
"See ya Lily." Sierra called out the window.
"Yeah see ya on the train." Lily said waving goodbye before she entered her house to what she new awaited her at night.
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Lily slowly opened the car door so she could get out of the car to board Hogwarts express. Her father has just finished doing 'bad things' to her; he had started when they first started out for Kings Cross. Tears glistened in her eyes as she walked toward the barrier. She quickly blinked them away as she went through and saw her way out of hell, to Hogwarts. She was happier then usual now that she was going back to Hogwarts and away from him. She wouldn't have to worry about him at night or when she was alone, because he wasn't there. She was happy, or as happy as a depressed person could be.
Lily pushed a piece of hair behind her ear and continued walking. Her hair was up in a hair class with the front pieces framing her beautiful face. She wore a pair of jean capris and a black tank top with a pair of dark blue sneakers. Her curves could be seen in all the right places and she looked really beautiful, but her eyes remained dull and lifeless nothing like they used to be. They used to be full of life, but now they were.. dead.
"Lily!" Lily heard someone shout from behind her. Lily turned and saw Allison there running up to her. When Allison reached her she hugged her. "I'm so sorry. I would have contacted you sooner-"
"Its ok." Lily said, as the two friends broke apart. "Really. Come on and lets get an compartment." Lily said and Allison nodded. Then both girls quickly got on the train and found an compartment at the end of the train, considering most of them were full.
"I'm so grateful to be going back to Hogwarts. My parents were really starting to bug me." Allison said.
"How so." Lily asked looking out the window, not really wanting to talk, but didn't want to push Allison away.
"They're just a lot stricter then usual. I wish they would lay." Allison said. "SO how have you been holding up Lils?" Allison asked.
"Great." Lily said. "Couldn't be better." Lily said a bit sarcastically.
"You know if you ever did anything we're here for you right? Jenna, Sierra, Candy, and me. Were all here for you Lils."
"Thanks Allison, but I'm really fine now." Lily lied. She would never be fine, never, not even in a million years would she be fine. How could she be? About that time the train started to pull out of the station and on its way to Hogwarts.
"Wonder where the other three are." Allison said.
"Probable looking for us or something." Lily mumbled leaning her head against the window and taking out a book called, The Wheel of time, by Robert Jordan. Allison watched Lily, she noticed that her eyes weren't sparkling anymore, something was wrong. And not just that her mother had died either, she wondered if Sierra could see it too.
"Hey your in our compartment." They heard a voice say.
Lily didn't bothering looking up toward them, however Allison did. There was Peter Pettigrew standing in the doorway. "Hey it was empty when we got here." Allison said.
"We always sit here, every year." Peter said.
"Well maybe its time for a change." Allison said, not wanting to have deal with him.
"Peter, Peter, Peter don't you have any respect to ladies." Said the infamous Sirius Black. "Hello Beautiful ladies. I must say you do get even prettier ever year." He said looking both girls over.
"Save it Black." Allison said glaring at him.
"Get out of our compartment." Peter said.
"We don't have too." Allison said.
"Yes you do!" Peter said.
"What and who are you fighting with Peter." Came the voice of Remus.
"That stupid Evans friend, Gold's her name." Peter said rudely.
"Hey don't call her stupid!" Allison said.
"Yeah Peter. She hasn't done anything to you." Remus said looking at him oddly.
"Who?" Came the last voice of the boys group. James Potter. James Potter also came in the compartment and looked at the two girls. First he looked at Allison and dismissed her, but when he looked at Lily he immediately saw the change in her. For one she was prettier then he had ever saw her, but the thing that caught him the most was the sadness surrounding her.
"Tell them too leave!" Peter said. The only reason he wanted them to leave was because of Lily. He hated Lily about as much as Malfoy and Snape, because of first year and her origin.
"Now that wouldn't be gentlemen like." James said.
"So, she's a, a-" Peter never got to finish his sentence.
"Come on Allison let's go." Lily said softly standing up and reaching for her trunk.
"Now hold on!" James said, for some odd reason he didn't want her to leave. After all they didn't like each other, so why did he want her to stay? "No one said you had to leave." He said.
"Yeah there's plenty of room here for all of us." Remus said smiling softly at Lily who had by now cast her eyes downward. "SO just sit down." He said.
"But she's a-" Peter started.
"I wouldn't finish that sentence if I were you Pettigrew." Allison said dangerously. Peter looked at her and then plopped into the set and didn't say another word. "Now that's all taken care of you can talk about whatever you want and we'll talk about what we have to talk about." Allison said as she watched James, Sirius, and Remus start to take a set.
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Hours had past and the Marauders were talking among themselves, while Lily continued to read her book, and Allison looked through a sports magazine. There had been no sign of Sierra, Candy, or Jenna anywhere so far, and Lily was beginning to wonder if they had missed the train.
"So Gold you gonna try out for Quidditch this year?" James Potter asked.
"Most likely why?" Allison answered distractedly.
"What position?" James asked.
"Chaser, Jenna's trying out for beater." Allison replied still not removing her eyes form the magazine.
"Oh really what a coincidence! We're trying out for Quidditch too! I'm trying out for Beater and Jamie boy is trying for Chaser!" Sirius exclaimed. "But wait we did that last year!" He said faking surprise.
BY that time Allison had raised her eyes and was now looking at James and Black. "What's your point?" She snapped.
"Oh nothing." Sirius said as he and James went by to talk to their other two friends. Allison stared at them before shaking her head slightly. By that time the intercom came on alerting them that they were almost at Hogwarts. "You four out so Lily and I can change." Allison said standing up.
"WE won't peek!" Whined Sirius.
"OUT!" Allison said and watched the four boys leave. "I really hate them." Allison said.
"Come on let's change." Lily said and quickly changed into her school robes as the train came to a stop. When they train was completely stopped the two friends made their way off of the train and toward the carriages.
"Wonder where the other three are?" Allison asked.
Lily only looked at her and shrugged as the horseless carriages carried them toward Hogwarts for yet another year.
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"LILY! ALLISON! Over here!" They heard a voice shout as they entered Hogwarts.
Allison looked over toward the voices and saw Jenna, Sierra, and Candy there waving them over. "Come on." Allison said walking over toward the three girls with Lily behind her. When they reached the girls Jenna and Candy hugged Lily. "Where were you on the train?" Allison asked.
"Up toward the front." Sierra answered. "Where were you two?"
"Back. We had to share with the marauders." Allison said.
"That must have been just dreadful." Sierra said and the girls all laughed except Lily.
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James watched Lily thoughtfully. Usually she joined in their laughter and would yell at him if he even came two inches near her, but she was different. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but something was off with her. He could practically see the cloud of sadness and despair shadowing her from the sun and happiness.
"Hey what cha looking at?" Sirius asked.
"Nothing." James said quickly diverting his eyes away from the girl.
"Ok." Sirius said. "When they gonna let us in? I'm starving!" Sirius whined.
"You just ate ten cauldron cakes and five chocolate frogs! How can you possible eat anymore?" Remus asked looking at Sirius awkward.
"Well a growing boys gots to eat doesn't he?" Sirius asked. Remus only rolled his eyes about the time students started to go into the Great Hall.
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Lily laid in bed with her curtains drawn thinking about the happy students around her, her happy friends. She just couldn't find joy with them anymore. All through dinner they joked and laughed, but Lily couldn't. She just couldn't find it in herself to be happy. Was it self-pity, she didn't know? All she knew was she couldn't be the gloom of the bunch; she couldn't let her friends see how hurt and depressed she was. Because then they wouldn't be happy, and Lily couldn't do that to them. She couldn't and wouldn't be the cause of their sadness. She knew what she had to do, she had separate herself from them, separate herself from them for good, no matter how much it hurt her.
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THAT'S THE END!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOPE IT WASN'T BAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LET ME KNOW OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AND TO EVERYONE WHO REVIEWED THANKS A BUNCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOUR GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'll try and post the next chapter soon, bye!!!!!!!!!!
And if you want me to email you whenever I update tell me and I will!!!!!!!!!!!! BYE!!!!!!!!!
ZombieGurl98
Always
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Forever