August 1, 2005

Walking into the Mount Pleasant High School was one of the scariest things I had ever done. There were three entrances on the front of the building. One was a student entrance, one the main entrance, and one for the Mount Pleasant Performing Arts Center. Getting a better grip on my new mellophone, I headed for the performing arts entrance, hoping that Sarah had already gotten there, and would be waiting for her somewhere near the door. Luckily, she was.

"STEPHANIE!" Sarah screamed and ran to give mea hug. "How have you been chick?"

"Awesome. How about you?" was my reply. "I thought we were going to hang out more over the summer."

"Sorry, yo. We were both too busy. But that doesn't matter now anyway, because we're here…. at the high school… our new school… and it's BAND CAMP! Now lets go inside, and you can get rid of your sax so we can have a look around."

Inside, I deposited my mellophone and backpack by Sarah's saxophone. We decided to go back out into the band hallway and see if there were any more freshmen there that we knew. We found our friends Drake, Jared, and Maris. Our little group of freshman just stood around talking to each other until it was announced that we needed to report to the band room where the band director, Mr. Taton, would be giving directions.

"As of today, you are all Marching Oilers. Throughout this week you will all learn a large portion of this years show, "Hair" the musical, and get to know the other members of your section, as well as other members of the band very well. For today's marching basics, you will learn the most basic form of marching. Eight to five steps. Mr. Hester, our old student teacher, will be the one teaching you for this week, because he hasn't found a job yet. Now, get out to the field, because we don't know how to march out yet."

Everyone walked through the halls of the school and out the back doors to the marching band field, where the football field used to be located. Mr. Hester, otherwise known as Dave, was already screaming for us to get out there and form a block by section. I ended up between Zoe, an 8th grader in my section, and an 11th grade trombone player named Alex.

At first, I couldn't get the hang of an eight to five. I was always talking too big of steps, and I was almost on top of the person in front of me, instead of splitting between yard lines. Eventually though, with the help of my section leader Harrison, I got it down. We did basic block, mostly just forward marching eight to five, then sixteen to five, and then back to eight to five again, from 8:30 to 11:30. We then had an hour long lunch break.

During lunch Drake told me that he had wanted to hang out during the summer too, and Jared told him that I had been with him all summer, so drake wouldn't have had a chance. I thought that it was interesting of Jared to say this because we had only hung out a couple of times over the summer…and he had never wanted to other times when asked. But after lunch we had a sectional. That meant just the mellophones, otherwise called the Mellos. I really liked our section. It consisted of five people. Three girls and two boys. Harrison, the section leader, was the hottest guy I had ever seen, and he had a great personality to go with it. The other guy was Ian, a really nerdy kid who had played French horn with me in concert band in middle school. The two girls, other than me, were Jackie, a sophomore cello player that I had played volleyball with the year before, and Zoe, an 8th grader who was best friends with my neighbor Becca, so I knew her well.

We had gotten the first part of the music in our letters right before school got out the year before, so I had had some time to learn it. Mr. Taton had decided to go with us today, while the other sections were run by either Dave, the new student teacher, or their own section leader. We played through the music, and I did fairly well, while Mr. Taton pointed out the things we needed to work on. Then he gave us our new sets, which we were to be writing into our set books and to have ready by after dinner. He then moved on to the next group. Harrison was not good at keeping us on track, because he wasn't strict at all, but finally we decided to call it quits and just start writing in our new sets. When it was time to go to full band rehearsal, I had all of my sets written in, and was ready to play the music and find out how the whole band sounded together.

For dinner, we had hot dogs and hamburgers, along with tons of different kinds of chips and cookies. After dinner everyone marched out to the field (marching out is just a really long basic block). You march from the performing arts center out to the marching band field through the parking lot. Mr. Taton got up onto the podium and told us all to find our opening set. I had no idea what a hash was, let alone what a half hash was, and so Harrison had to tell me where to go. Luckily, the show was marched in close vicinity to your section, or at least one person in your section, so that I always had someone to ask for help. We learned drill from 7:30 to 9:00.

When I got home I was so exhausted from my first day, that I didn't even think that I could get up in the morning. I hated that I had to be at the high school by 7:00.

Days two, three, four, and five went pretty much like day one; except for we moved farther into the music and learned more drill. By the end of band camp we had two thirds of our show learned for competition.

First day of school

I walked down the band hallway to my sixth hour class, symphonic wind ensemble. The higher of the two concert bands. I was one of five freshmen to make it in. There was no playing on the first day of school, so I mainly stood around talking to Sarah, Jared, and Harrison, since I didn't really know anyone else. School is let out at 2:44, and marching band doesn't start until 3:30, because the 8th graders, or, Westies, as we like to call them, needed time to get from the middle school (West Intermediate) to the High School.

When it finally was time for marching band to start, we marched out to the field, and stretched, then did about ½ an hour of basic block, and then got right into practicing the part of the show that we did already know. We had a competition only a couple of weeks away…

Second week of school

By now, marching band practices were into full swing, and I was making new friends every day. Katherine, the Tuba/sousaphone section leader was helping with some of my sets, and had started to talk to me during band class too, because I had started to like that boy Alex, the one next to me in basic block every day. He was nice, he was strong, he wasn't too tall, and he seemed like he had a lot of fun. He also had the prettiest green eyes. I am sucker for nice eyes; they are the first thing I notice about people. Anyway, Katherine was one of Alex's best friends. She had liked him at one point in time as well, and she thought it was so cute that I could like a junior. But from what Jackie had told me, freshmen/junior couples were not rare. Not that I had any hope that he would ever like me anyway. Things like that just didn't happen to me. He liked Maris anyhow. Other new friends I was making included Kristian Taylor, another trombone, Cale Harter, the one and only tenor saxophone, and Nick Vogel, sousaphone. Harrison's younger brother.

It became an ongoing battle between Maris and I as to who was Alex going to end up dating. We never got to the point where I hated her, but I got pretty mad sometimes. He seemed unable to make a decision, and I tried so hard to not get my hopes up. Then one day out of the blue, Harrison called me. He was going to have a marching band party, and I was invited. I was really excited, because I was going to be there, and so was Alex, but Maris wasn't. I talked to him online all that day, and it seemed to me that he was excited to see me that night, almost as excited as I was to see him.

Finally, it was time to go to the party. Sarah and I were the first ones there, and we decided to go outside and build the fire with Nick. When Alex and his twin fraternal twin Chris showed up, I didn't even talk to him for about 30 minutes, because I was so nervous. I felt bad that I had been mean to Maris, and he knew that I had been mean to her. So finally when we went inside and down to the Vogel's basement, the silence was broke, and we exchanged hellos.

The next thing to take place was a huge halo two tournament. They played that stupid game for three stinking hours, and Sarah and I just sat and watched. For three stinking hours. It was, totally, completely, insanely, STUPID. When everyone was finally done playing halo, we decided to go outside and sit by the fire, which, luckily, was still lit. Everyone filed outside and got drinks (SODA) and stood around talking. I decided that this was a good chance to talk to Alex, and apologize to him about what I did to Maris.

We ended up going down Nick and Harrison's long driveway, because it was quieter down there. They lived out in the country, so you could see the stars really well. I apologized to him about my nastiness, and then we talked about how pretty the stars are at night. Then he took my hand. We started walking back up to the house, and we kept talking, really easily. He didn't ask me out that night, but I didn't really care right then… I was too happy that I had finally talked to him.

The following Wednesday Alex asked me out. We walked back to the group after he did, and we were holding hands. You should have seen the look on Maris's face… it was priceless.

First competition, Novi High School

We got up early the morning of the first competition, because Mr. Taton wanted us to practice before we got onto the busses to leave. I couldn't wait for the bus ride; I would be sitting with Alex, with Sarah right across the isle. The rehearsal went okay, but I wasn't really paying attention, so I really wouldn't know. We had to load the trailers with all of our instruments, plus the pit percussion, and then eat lunch before we could leave. I had forgotten a lunch, so Alex shared with me.

We finally were able to load the busses. I got the window seat, because Alex said he liked to be able to talk to everyone around him, and he couldn't do that from the window seat. I really didn't have a problem with it, considering I didn't know most of the people we would be sitting by anyway. For the first ½ hour or so, we didn't talk at all, everyone was just kind of getting settled, and all of the vets were talking about how great it was to be back on the road with the band. After that though, Alex took my hand and let me lean against him, placing his head on top of mine. Man, did that guy smell good. I almost fell asleep a couple of times, but Jared made sure that I didn't, because every time I got close, he would do something to get either me or Alex's attention.

The whole bus ride pretty much went like that, just holding hands and enjoying being with each other. When we got there, we had to get changed, and we had to walk in pairs, in one big line, and because we weren't that big of a band, they could tell us to be quiet and control it, because they have about 1 adult to every 5 or 6 students. I walked next to Alex. We held hands. A really annoying section leader named Josh (saxophone), approached us when we found the spot where we were going to warm up.

" Alex, I don't think you and Stephanie should walk together anymore, it's too much of a distraction for other people in the band." Said Josh.

"Uh… we'll see" said Alex.

I laughed so hard it was painful, and Alex joined right in. I was already against Josh, most of the band was, and he had just screwed himself over in my eyes. I never wanted to speak to him again as long as I lived.

We lined up to march out to the field when we were done warming up, but this time I couldn't walk with Alex because he was farther up in the line, and we had to line up in order of going out onto the field into our opening set. So, I was next to my section leader Harrison. Since it was my first ever competition, I was pretty scared… I was sure I was going to forget all of my sets. I didn't. The performance was amazing, besides the fact that the sun was in our eyes. I didn't mess up anything(that I can remember), and the best part is, as soon as we were off the field and into the parking lot, Alex came and found me and kissed me on the forehead, sweat and all.

After we changed and ate dinner, we got to watch the rest of the bands perform before the awards ceremony. We got third, out of three… but it wasn't too bad because Mr. Taton said it was because we didn't have our whole show yet.

Getting back on the bus was weird for me, because I didn't know what was going to happen on the way home. Alex didn't wait this time; he immediately took my hand and settled up against me. I had my arms around his neck, him leaning against my chest. He kept looking up at my face, and I was soooo worried that I had something up my nose. But, instead of letting on, I just smiled back at him. When he started talking to Sarah and Kristian, across the isle, I got another whiff of him… he smelled unbelievably good. The rest of the bus ride stayed about the same, smelling him while he talked to other people, and smiling at him when he looked at me with his big green eyes.

Jared had earlier told me that Alex wanted to kiss me that day, and I had been anticipating it all day. I had no idea if Jared was right or not, but I wanted to be ready. I was scared to death, never having been kissed. The moment finally came when we pulled back into the high school that night. He stood up, and looked at me… so I was thinking, are my parents here yet? I looked behind me out the window, and sure enough, there stood my mother not five feet away from my window! So I said to Alex, "not here, come meet my Madre". No, I am not Spanish; I just like to say Madre.

So we went outside and I introduced him to my mom. She liked him, so I said go back to the car and I would be there in a few minutes. I was scared that the bus would pull away at any second; making it easy for my parents to watch, so I put my arms around his neck and just told him to not worry, neither of us knew how, so why not try. 

My first kiss was amazing, and from then on, I had no sense of loss for anything, like I had before I dated. Everyday got better and better….

Since I don't want to go into detail about all of the competitions, I will skip to the important one

Couple of weeks later…

Lamphere Competition

Practice, loading, and bus ride to the competition was all the same as before, the run through that we always do (vocal run through of the show, really fun) was amazing as ever. We got there, warmed up, and realized that the heat and sun in our faces were going to be a big issue that day. So we prepared ourselves, and did the best we could at the show in such conditions.

Since we were the last band to perform at the competition, we only had to stand through the exhibition performance, and we didn't have time to change, so we stood in the end zone for awards. The drum majors, plus the guard and drum line captions went out there, and they kept calling other bands, finally getting to second place… we weren't called… WE WON FIRST PLACE! It was so amazing; I swear Jared almost had a heart attack. We were all screaming and yelling as soon as we were at ease, the bus ride home was going to be great.

That's what I thought at first. It wasn't so great. Alex and Jared and Kristian were all wired, with pop and skittles. The first hour or so was just Alex being totally nuts, and me trying to calm him down some. Finally he settled against me like he usually does. Approximately ½ hour from home, we stopped at a rest stop. For some reason, it wasn't Alex that was feeling that he had too much energy anymore, it was me. I felt like I needed a rush. So when he came back from the bathroom and got comfortable against me again, I decided to make the best of my night. I really don't know what got into me, but throughout that last ½ hour of the bus ride, I ended up giving a hand job. This wasn't some major thing, it was almost non existent, but it was there, and it scared the crap out of both of us. I wish he had stopped me, because I had no idea what was to come next.

Homecoming

Going to Alex's house for dinner was my plan for homecoming, then going to the dance with a group. All of my closest friends were there. I was so worried that I would be rude somehow while I was eating, by not using the right fork or something like that, but I got through the food part okay. The dance was amazing, except for the fact that we went to the wrong door of the school, so since his mom had already left we had to walk all around the school trying to find the right door, and it was cold. When we finally got inside we had to give them our tickets, and then we got to go inside the cafeteria, where all of the music and stuff was. We saw lots of marching band people there, and were having a great time saying hey to all of them. Finally, a slow song came on… I had never slow danced before, and I was scared to death, let me tell you. It turned out to be amazing, just standing in his arms, smelling him, was enough to make me melt. He was so amazing, and I was so glad we had something special…

Monday after homecoming

Homecoming was on a Saturday, and this takes place the Monday after

Alex and I and Kristian made our usual rounds to Alex's locker and then to mine, but this time, before we went downstairs, Alex pulled on my backpack and asked me to wait. He told me that what I had done to him had haunted him the past couple of weeks since, and he didn't think we should go out anymore. I was devastated. I didn't show it at the time though, I just cried all through marching band rehearsal that day. Sarah knew, and so did Heather, the drum major, and I guess she told the band director, because he didn't say anything when I kept messing up that day.

After Story

Soon after, everyone heard, and my life became hell. Alex moved back to Maris about a week after he dumped me, and Jared turned on me as well. He told me things like
"Alex never liked you, so just leave him alone now; he doesn't want anything to do with you." I knew differently, but it still got to me. I got severely depressed, and started writing sad and evil poetry. I was so mad at Alex for turning on me, and sharing so much with me, and then just throwing it away so quickly. I was secretly glad when Maris told Alex no after he asked her out, but I still felt bad for him. I so desperately wanted to be his friend, but he wouldn't let me in, and every time I talked to him online he would stop talking or tell me he had to go. I was so angry.

The last couple of competitions were horrible for me, because I had to watch him want Maris, when I still wanted him. Finally, just a couple of weeks ago, Maris told him she would never go out with him, and he went into his own little depression. Since then, I have gotten better, made new friends, and lost some of my feelings for him. I believe people are right though when they say that you never forget your first love…

Every day is different,
yet so very much the same.
My stomach, it still flutters,
every time you say my name.

My world is always changing,
every time I get online.
There's always some new gossip,
always someone lying.

Everyday in the hall,
I pass you three times,
and when we're close enough,
we will always lock eyes.

Each pair are deep green,
but yours hold something new,
a new pain is found within them
from the people around you.

You didn't think it'd happen,
thought you'd always be the one
to break the poor girl's heart,
just like you've always done.

You know it's nothing new,
it's happened here before.
But your tiny world is breaking,
and you've never hurt much more.

There's always someone to tell me
that you never ever cared.
Someone new to tell me
there was nothing real we shared.

But I know different,
you know I do.
I want to it to be over,
and I know you want that too.

You want to be friends,
or at least that's what you say,
so I give you a chance, and what do you do?

You shove it in my face,
Give me dirty looks,
and Find new girls to chase.

You are my friend,
And you already know,
that once you're my friend,
it's so hard to let you go.

I wrote that last week...