Hello guys sorry for taking a while to update. Things have been a little weird lately. I was originally going to do Gambit, but then I realized that his chapter wasn't too funny and I didn't want to disappoint you guys.

Wolf of Fire: Congrats on getting your computer fixed. I can't wait for the next chapter. You Rule! I seriously think I sent like a review the size of the most recent Harry Potter Book.

Stray Phoenix: Though I think that you never actually read this you rule too. Your stories are the best. Go and Read The Seat Belt Sign Should Be On At All Times if you haven't already. This story is so funny. Hear me Peoples? Go read as soon as you're done reviewing this.

The Therapy Sagas

Chapter 4

Who Doesn't Love A German Speaking Blue Fuzzy Elf

Name: Kurt Wagner

Age: 16

Date: 6/3/05

Time: 1:30 PM

I decided that I needed some coffee to help calm my nerves after my session with Kitty. I walked around considering that my next victim…. I mean patient wasn't due for another 15 Minutes. But, as usual, ended up in a closet due to my own stupidity. I took one of the coats and put it one in hopes of looking smarter and more professional. I think that I look even more stupid and less professional and more conspicuous. (Guess what? I just spelled conspicuous right without the help of spell check yea)

I walked back into my room, coffee in hand, and closed the door. No sooner had I done that then some guy seemed to pop out of nowhere. I thought that out of lack of coffee I just hadn't seen him so I didn't really care that he just popped out of nowhere.

"Bin Ich spate?" he asked me. Apparently spate in English means a rash I used my synonyms tool to figure out what it meant because it wasn't under lined in read like the rest of the German. He was either asking me, "Do you have a fish?" or "Am I late?" I haven't been in German class in a while but I assumed that it was the first one.

"Nein. Du bist nicht spate," I told him. I hope I said what I think I said instead of something incredibly stupid like, "Do you want a Fanta?" But Fanta is German so I think I got it right.

"Ah Gut. Sie sprechen Deustch," he said to me. Now that I've heard a few lines of German I now can process and speak as normal as can be expected for my one year of German knowledge.

"Ja, Ich spreche Deustch aber Englisch ist mein lieber," I told him. Okay like that whole sentence is underlined in red. Kind of cool, but weird, this fic is going to take an hour to spell check.

"Auch gut," he said taking a seat on the couch. He was definitely 100 German. Just incase the fluent German and the accent didn't give the biggest clue of your life.

"So what's your issue?" I asked him

"What do you mean?" he asked back.

"Well the previous three people that came to see me had problems. For example: this Logan guy I think is a crazed psycho gay guy, Scott Summers mind seems to be possessed by fire birds, specifically phoenixes, and then there was Kitty----," I said started to say but he broke in.

"She didn't try to feed you anything did she?" he asked me really quick.

"Um no," I said nervously.

"Oh good. If she tries to offer you anything, politely decline and run away, "he said.

"I'll keep that in mind," I said. "And Kitty is an overly perky valley girl who probably takes drugs that make her that perky."

"Wait did you say that Logan was gay? What would make you say that?" he asked me with a look of pure terror on his face.

"Well he lives with this old guy with 13 other kids," I said to him.

"Oh ve all live in a boarding school," He explained to me.

"Well that makes me feel a hundred times better. Any anger issues in that big old huge house of yours that you live in?"

"Not really. Ve get on everyone's nerves a bit but other wise we get along. Mr. Logan and Jean have some anger issues and Rouge's a bit distant. Trust me you do not want to get Jean mad at you in one of our "Gym Classes."

"Jean. Jean. Why does that name ring a bell?" I asked myself.

"Vell Scott summers may have mentioned him in his session. Everyone knows that they like each other zey just don't want to admit it."

"Let me guess they're best friends?"

"How did you know?"

"Personal experience and that is says so right here in his file."

"Does it really say that?"

"Yes it does," I said showing him the part where I found it. "I don't get why people never believe me. Do I look like some sort of dishonest idiot monkey to you?"

Why do you do this?" he asked me.

"I don't understand."

"Why do you help people when they don't trust you?"

"To be honest, I never thought about it that way. To tell ya the truth I'm not really a therapist."

"I know zat the diplomas on the wall. They all have Dr. Bob What's-His-Name? On them. And you don't look like a Bob. Do you um want to do something after zis?"

For those of you who thought that I wasn't going to do something incredibly stupid, SHAME ON YOU! I am insulted. For those of you who have remained faithful to my stupidity please continue while I hire a hit man to go murder the traitors.

I spat out my coffee because I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Someone had actually asked me out. I then realized that I had just spat coffee all over this guy and looked for a napkin to give him. He was so busy fumbling with his watch though that he didn't even notice.

"Ach! Dis can't be happening!" he yelled nervously. "My image inducer!" Right before my eyes, he turned into a German speaking blue fuzzy elf, and this was my reaction:

"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

I screamed running around in circles. He vanished again. I did this until:

"Rae!" someone yelled. It was Wolf of Fire. You may also know her as Kinetic Flame or Wolfie. I know her as Liz (the person who decides to write a story when her computer hates her so that way she can't update and it ticks me off because it's a really funny story and I want to read more!). "What the hell are you doing?" I stopped running. "I called your house and I didn't get an answer. I thought that maybe you would have been stupid enough to get yourself lost or something."

"And you're my best friend because?" I asked her.

"Oh shut up!" she said. "So what exactly have you been doing this whole time?"

"Well."

So there you go. I am seriously debating if I should do a chapter for Rogue. I don't know if I want to because there isn't anything really funny about her. I'm still going to do Gambit. Maybe Liz can help me with his when she comes over Sunday and you guys can have a new chapter on Monday.

I have disabled the email address on my profile because it's not mine. It's Liz's old one and please stop emailing to it. Thank you.

I have another story that I might start soon. It's called for a rich guy your vacations suck. Xavier decides that for saving the world from magneto that he's going to send them all camping. I had a dream when they were doing this so I thought that it would make a good story.

Then there's the Inuyasha fic that I will be starting with seer of light and fire.

Thank you, for reviewing I appreciate it. If I don't get 6 more reviews however, I'm doing a chapter on the little review button guy. See y'all later.

Next Chapter: Are You Single?