melancholy, a harry potter fanfic

A.N.: nothing you recognize is mine. Lyrics are by Iced Earth. This isn't my first fic I wrote. And was betaed by my best friend, ShadoW. R&R

Severus's POV

Make the sadness go away
Come back another day
For years I've tried to teach
But their eyes are empty
Empty too I have become
For them I must die
A sad and troubled race
An ungrateful troubled place

I woke with hope. Like every other day. And when I looked around me, my hopes crashed. Why do I have to wake up with hopes? Why? Why do I have to wake up at all? Years, months, days of suffering. Or lack of. Lack of pain. Lack of joy. Happines. Lack of Life. Just emptiness.

We fought. I fought on the side of Light. We all did. And were betrayed. By him. By your best friend. You were never the same. No one was. We lost. I lost. Lost. You. The love of my life.

I see the sadness in their eyes
Melancholy in their cries
Devoid of all the passion
The human spirit cannot die
Look at the pain around me
This is what I cry for
Look at the pain around me
This is what I'll die for

Why does Dark Lord want me to live? I know. To be an example for everybody. I'm a traitor. And traitors get punished. He… he himself cut my both legs. I was punished. But kept alive. Alive. To teach. Teach what I knew the most. Potions. Only… they weren't Potions anymore. They were Poisons. This isn't Hogwarts anymore. It's not even scoolf of witchcraft and wizardry. It's school of torturing. Why am I still alive? Why, Hermione, why? Why did you left me? I should be grateful. You shouldn't see this torturing. Suffering. Every day I go to class. If that is a class. I see their emptiness. At first I saw hope. They hoped I'll save them. How could I save them, when I couldn't save myself? Maybe someday… How can I help those empty souls? Shells? Because that they are. Just empty shells. Nothing more. They should be home. With their parents. Brothers and sisters. Ones they love. It's impossible now. He goes to them. He kills their parents. He kills all joy. Everything that is alive. Even me. Especially me. We are all walking corpses.

Make the sadness go away
Come back another day
The things I've said and done
Don't matter to anyone
But still, you push me to see
Something, I can never be
Why am I their shattered king?
I don't mean anything

No. Please, don't. don't make me go to him. I can't stand him. No, Hermione, please. He killed you. You. Harry. Albus. He killed you all. For fun, nothing more. Don't make me to try to kill him. You know how it will end. But maybe… Maybe it would be better. I could see you again… No! I mustn't think like that. I need to live. For them. I always lived for them. For those empty souls. Even when the weren't empty. I lived for all of them. Than form y House. I was so proud of them. No one was a Death Eather. But… Your friend… I can feel my blood bouil, when I see him.

He is now his right hand. Dark Lord killed Lucius when Draco refused to be a Death Eater. But it was for nothing. Lucius is dead. Draco. You. Why have you left me?

I thought he loved you. He betrayed you, Harry, Albus. His family. Order. There's just me left from Order. All others are dead. Remus. Minerva. Arthur. Molly. Bill. All others. No one else live.

Sometimes a student comes to me. He asks me to save him. At least once in a lifetime everybody asks me to save them. I can't. how? Just tell me how, and I will do it. Please, Hermione, tell me. If there is a way, I'll do it. I'll do it. I promise I will. I don't want to look at their sadness. Emptiness.

I was thinking of you the other night. I don't know why I remebered your SPEW. SPEW. Elves. I got the idea how to save them. To save all of us. By death. Death will set us free. Free from Dark Lord, torturig, betrayal. I brewed enough poison for everybody. I'm on my way to kitchen. I've no doubt elves will help me. They're unhappy too. They will put it into the drink and food. All students. If they would survive they would have no life. They would be shells forever. Professors…Death Eaters I sould call them. Him. The Traitor. And his master. He is not my master since he killed James and Lily. Their death woke me up from that nightmare. I lived in a dream from then. And when you admitted you loved me… I was in heaven. And now? We all live in hell. Each day he kills someone. Even three year old children. Nothing stops him. And now, you're pushing me to save them. I will. I promise. And I'll be saved from that hell too. I'll die with and for them. See you my Love. See you very soon. I know you're waiting for me. Like I do for you. Se you Love. See you in heaven.