Anti-Chelsea yawned for the three hundredth and twenty-sixth time as anti-Cosmo paced the small shack. Every few minutes his eyes would dart to the window and then back to the floor.
Yawning, Yet again! Anti-Chelsea got up and made a beeline around the other kids to him.
" Well, Conroy streams, how are we going to bust out of here?"
" Well, fox icecherry, how do you suppose we get through a camp full of stupid strong ugly men?"
" Threaten them with………a math book?"
" No."
" Dig a very big hole in the floor?"
" No, and how the hell would that help!"
"……………"
Anti-Cosmo continued to pace. Anti-Chelsea jumped off her box she had been sitting on and walked over to one of the other children.
" Hi! My name is Fox! Fox Icecherry. What's yours?" asked anti-Chelsea.
" My name is robin." Stated a young nine-year-old girl. The girl was slightly smaller then anti-Chelsea and wore tattered russet clothes. She had no shoes and wore a long red ribbon in her hair.
" This," she said pointing to a small six-year-old boy next to her in clothes similar to hers. " Is my little brother, Ivan."
" Pleased to met you!" declared anti-Chelsea. She held her hand out to Ivan and Robin. Robin shook her hand, but Ivan remained where he was.
" What's wrong with him?" asked anti-Chelsea.
" My brother cannot walk. He never has been able to since he came down with the speckleberry fever." affirmed robin drearily.
" speckleberry fever?" questioned anti-Chelsea.
" Ha!" shouted anti-Cosmo from across the room. " Sounds like a word you would make up!"
" You're a dumb ass!"
" Your radio rental to think that!"
" Oh, shut up and drink your Rosie lee!"
" Bitch!"
" Would you two stop fighting!" asked Ivan.
" right, this is no time to fight. Were shafted enough." grumbled anti-Cosmo.
" If that means were up shit crick without a paddle, your right!" stated anti-Chelsea.
" It means were in trouble! Not up a creek!"
" Who is your um, friend?" asked Robin.
" This is Conroy, Conroy Streams. He's a good friend of mine when I can understand what the hell he's sayin'."
" 'ello Conroy. My name is robin and this is my brother Ivan." Said Robin while she picked up her brother and gave him a piggyback ride over.
" Hay, Kevin! Where have you been?" Anti-Cosmo asked one of the boys who just walked in; more like thrown in the bleak shack.
" Been workin' the mine, S'what we slaves do." He stated.
" Doesn't seem so bad." Replied anti-Cosmo.
" That's good, 'cus they be takin' you next, Conroy."
" Bloody hell they will! I leggit!" Shouted anti-Cosmo making a mad dash for the door. Which promptly opened revealing 'master' Richard.
" Well, well, well, whats do we 'ave 'ere? A slave makin' a break for it?"
" Yes, and a rather pissed off one at that!" Shouted anti-Cosmo as he raced past an astonished 'master' Richard.
" Hay wait for me, Conroy!" shouted anti-Chelsea following.
Their friends, seeing their one (probably only) chance, ran for the door.
They made a mad dash across the camp with their new friends, Robin, Kevin and Ivan, at their heels.
The campground was much wider then anti-Cosmo anticipated. And soon they were running out of breath.
" They will be on us any minute." Stated Robin, setting down her young brother in the snow.
" You carried him all the way here?" asked a surprised anti-Chelsea.
" Years of workin' the mine will do that." Stated Robin.
" Were going to be captured again if we don't figure out how to escape! And we won't last a minute more if we come up with a plan. They have horses and we ran to here!" stated anti-Cosmo. " Horses move way too fast to be out run by us."
" Hay, Conroy, how deep is the snow?" asked anti-Chelsea.
" Three or four feet. Why?"
" Everyone! Get to diggin'!"
" Your going to have us hide in a hole?" asked anti-Cosmo incredulously.
"Yup."
" Alright."
Dropping to the ground, they started scooping out snow as fast as humanly possible.
The bizarre five tumbled down the 'hidey hole' as anti-Chelsea christened it. just in time for The sound of powerful hooves thundered above and off into the distance.
Into the darkness of the 'hidey hole' anti-Chelsea whispered " I'm hungry."
Even in dark, anti-Chelsea knew anti-Cosmo was glaring at her.
" Did any of ya bring any food?" asked Kevin. Even though he knew the answer.
" No, but we could eat Conroy." volunteered anti-Chelsea.
" No you can't! I am British. I taste dreadful! Americans on the other hand…"
" Are very tasteful, fun and awesome, but not edible!"
" Liar!"
"Shut the hell up you poshwat twit!"
" Make me, lezzer!"
" Keep quiet!" shouted Kevin intotheir 'peaceful' conversation.
The calm three and the ballistic two, froze. The sound of someone moving overhead was clearly heard.
" I thoughts I 'eard 'em, Ralph. Guess mah hearin' ain't as good as me husbands."
The two anti-fairies nearly fainted at the voice of none other then anti-Cosmo's wife, Anti-Wanda.
Anti-Chelsea knew she would hear anti-Cosmo's father, Ralph.
Sure enough, the British cowboy's voice sounded loud and clear above them.
" Where the bloody hell could those bloody twits get to?" Ralph asked his hillbilly associate.
" mah guess is that thar next town."
" Lead on, yaaaahooooo!"
With that the two voices were gone. Leaving behind the two stunned anti-fairies in their wake.
The silence was broken by Kevin when he asked suspiciously " who were they and what were you two doing before you were takin'."
" We were going to slay a dragon." Simply stated anti-Chelsea.
" What?"
Anti-Cosmo and anti-Chelsea sat back against the wall to tell the story of the dragon and all of the events. Including their name change and the atrocious sentencing, which they were now serving.
With a sigh, they began.