Chapter 8: Gossip and Grumbling

Unbeknownst to Snape, he was the talk of his students and some of the staff. As if the dating ad wasn't enough, combine that with the most recent debacle and he was somewhat of a Hogwarts celebrity. After all, it wasn't every day that a professor ran naked through the halls of the school. In fact, until just yesterday, no professor had ever run through the halls sans clothing.

In the staff room, all of the witches huddled in a group for discussion. Even Professor Trelawney left her tower once again after hearing the juicy gossip from Lavender. Despite Snape's rudeness at their last meeting, she couldn't resist talking about him. "Is it true what they're saying?" Her eyes were even larger than normal behind her thick glasses." I certainly never saw anything like THAT in my crystal ball!

"Every word!" Professor McGonagall had heard the news from Poppy Pomfrey after Snape's quick departure from the hospital wing. "Poppy said that he was definitely the Head of Slytherin for a reason!" She blushed and dissolved into an uncharacteristic fit of giggles. Had any of her students seen her at that moment, they would have ceased to fear her stern looks. As it was, no students saw her, so her reputation as a strict professor was saved.

Professor Sprout said nothing, but did a great deal of head nodding along with Professor Sinestra. They were both thinking that they should start paying more attention during the staff meetings.

Professor Hooch, who was known for her dirty sense of humor, was looking speculative. "Maybe it's time to answer his dating ad." As the other witches looked at her in shock, she assumed an innocent air. "What? Like you all weren't thinking about getting under those robes?" Maybe I can show him how well I ride a broomstick! She wasted no time in retrieving a quill and a sheaf of parchment. She wrote for a minute and then signed her name with a flourish. "There now! I think I will deliver it in person!"

"Rolanda! You are so bad!" McGonagall was outwardly shocked, but inside, she was envious of Hooch's outspokenness. Maybe I should take a page from her book and write a love letter to Albus. "Well, you'll have to be sure to share all the juicy details!"

If the staff was bad about discussing the recent happenings, the students were a thousand times worse.

The Slytherins were all walking tall, having either see or heard about Snape's assets. As Draco had said, "He did the house proud!" Everyone agreed.

Draco was slightly miffed when he caught Millicent and Pansy trying to figure out a way to sneak into Professor Snape's room. Pansy is MY girlfriend. What she sees in that blipping vampire is beyond me! He knew however, that he was just kidding himself. He knew exactly what she saw in him. It was what he, himself, was lacking. Bursting into tears, he ran to his room and buried his face in his pillow. He didn't care that Blaise saw him and promptly reported it to the rest of the house.

Hermione was deep in thought and didn't realize she was chewing on the end of her quill. If she were asked what she was thinking, she would have probably stated that she was thinking of the sad state that was the life of a House-elf. In reality, she was recalling the moment when she first saw Snape in a new light. Sweet Eros on a pumpkin pasty! So that's what a man looks like! That in turn made her thoughts drift to one Ronald Bilius Weasley. I wonder… she was brought from her reverie by a hand waving in front of her face.

"Mione! Wake up!" Ron was standing in front of the object of his desire, waving his arms about like a windmill. What in Merlin's name is she thinking about? Her face is bright red! She's even cuter than ever like that. That thought caused him to blush and he retired into relative silence.

"Ron! Why aren't you studying?" Hermione was flustered to see the boy she had been thinking of and didn't know what to say. So, she covered it up by being her usual bossy self. "You are never going to pass your exams this way. I swear, I'm not helping you this year!"

Harry's arrival cut off anything else she was going to say. "Can you believe it? Snape, of all people! I've never laughed so hard in my life!" He had quite enjoyed the embarrassing spectacle that his most hated professor had made, and was looking forward to reliving it with his friends. Therefore, he was sadly disappointed to see that they were not paying attention to him and were studiously ignoring each other, both with very red faces. Those two! I wish they would snog and get it over with! Disappointed, he walked away.

Lavender and Parvati were huddled over a crystal ball in Professor Trelawney's tower room. Having thoroughly discussed the earlier happening, they were now trying to divine the future of Professor Snape's love life.

"Girls! What are you doing here?" Professor Trelawney flitted up behind them. She was a bit winded from the long jaunt from the staff room, so her voice was even more breathy than usual.

Lavendar smiled and Parvati looked a bit guilty.

"Professor! How wonderful that you are here! Maybe you can help us!" Lavender certainly was not shy about her purpose. "In light of the recent happenings," here both girls giggled once again, "Parvati and I were trying to use our inner eye to see into Professor Snape's future."

"I'm shocked at the two of you. Using divination to pry into someone's love life, and a professor at that!" She paused, looking thoughtful. "Besides, the crystal will tell you nothing. But, I do know of a potion…."

Severus Snape had definitely had better weeks than this one. He was to the point of feeling sorry for himself for his bad luck. Pacing his room, he brought forth a string of curse words that even made William feel ashamed. That was a feat in itself, because the writer was known for his dirty mind.

"My heart prays for him, though my tongue do curse." (1) William smirked at Snape, who was once again glaring at him.

"Can you just once stop quoting your silly plays, old man?" Snape was not in the mood for mind games and he was fast becoming irritated with the prattling poet. "What shall I do? How am I supposed to go to my classroom after many of my students saw me in the buff? What about staff meetings? Those witches are all such gossips."

"Severus, I do believe that thou are making Much Ado about Nothing." He couldn't resist, but hastily retreated, deciding it was time to visit some acquaintances in other portraits.

Something than might only be described as a growl escaped Snape's throat. It's bad enough that I was humiliated in front of the school. I also missed classes today AND have another detention with Weasley tonight. Sometimes I think this Karma stuff really is something that needs more attention.

Sighing, he gathered up what was left of his dignity and betook himself to the potions classroom.

A/N:

Quote: (1) My heart prays for him, though my tongue do curse. Act IV. Scene II. The Comedy of Errors

Once again, thanks to my wonderful betas.

Thanks to all of my faithful readers and reviewers. I'm very glad that you are so interested in Severus' love life. ;-)

Sorry for the delay in writing. My plot bunnies decided to hop for the nearest bunny hole, leaving me high and dry. I've enticed them back with the promise of several large carrots and a nice rabbit hutch for reproducing.

Disclaimer: We all know who the real genius is, and it's certainly not me.