EXCERPTS FROM THE AUDIO JOURNAL OF QUI-GON JINN, JEDI MASTER
Diplomatic Cruiser on route to Naboo, 3:4:5
Shocked.
A Jedi is supposed to never, ever be shocked — and yet I am.
There is no other world to describe how I feel.
Today I met my son again.
It seems almost incredible it had to happen today, less than one day after I thought about how slim the chances of an occasional encounter were. But this is no occasional encounter, I can feel the Force's design behind everything.
It could not be different, for I do not believe in concepts like "fate," "destiny" or "fortune".
There is only the Force.
It is thanks to its will if Master Dest-Parce has fallen ill during the night and the Sith Council has decided to send a last-hour replacement.
My son.
Sith Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Every time I close my eyes I return with my mind to this morning, to the moment when I suddenly felt a ripple in the Living Force.
I turned around and watched as a grey-robed figure crossed the landing platform near the Senate Building. It was still distant from where I was, but even so I was able to see it was not Master Dest-Parce. This man was much younger, in his mid-twenties.
I studied him with interest as he as he got closer. He was shorter than me, his body slender and compact, his stride athletic and confident.
The young man finally stopped in front of me and bowed.
"Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn?" he asked, his voice soft and cultured.
"Yes," I answered, bowing both in greeting and agreement, as the Living Force whirled around us.
"I regret to inform you Master Dest-Parce fell sick during the night. The Sith Council sent me to replace him. I am Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi."
I am ready to swear the universe stopped moving for a moment as his words sank in and that beautiful aura of his washed over my shaking shields.
My son.
There, in front of me, as I have imagined hundreds of times.
I think I must have staggered because Obi-Wan's hand reached for my elbow and his concerned voice asked, "Are you all right, Master Jinn?"
"Yes, yes," I managed to say. "It was just a passing dizziness, nothing to be worried about." I forced myself to ground and centre and regain at least a pretence of control and calm.
Obi-Wan did not seem too convinced but before he could say anything, the captain of the diplomatic cruiser Chancellor Valorum put at our disposal joined us on the landing platform, and our attention focused on the trip to Naboo and the problems that might await us once we arrived.
Shortly after we boarded, Obi-Wan and I separated and retired into the quarters assigned to us for the trip. We had agreed to meet in the briefing room in a couple of hours to discuss the mission in a more detailed way.
I had the intention of meditating and bringing my raging emotions under control, but it is proving very difficult, for I keep on thinking about Obi-Wan.
Oh, Lydah, it is such a tragedy you cannot see him now! He looks so much like you!
His face is handsome and full of quick-silver intelligence, just like yours.
The straight nose, refined cheekbones, strong jaw and resolute mouth surrounded by a well-trimmed goatee give him the look of an holomovie pirate— he just lacks an earring to be perfect for the role. His hair, ginger-coloured as his beard, is cropped short in a spiky, military style, except for a thin braid near his right ear. It is the same haircut adopted by the Jedi padawans to mark their status as apprentices, but it has the opposite meaning for the Sith. It symbolizes the attainment of knighthood, and the tiny yellow beads inserted in the braid indicate the missions successfully accomplished by its bearer.
I have counted at least fifteen of such beads in our son's braid. I can only wonder what kind of missions he had been in… and I cannot quell the bout of pride I felt when I spotted them. He is so young and already so successful! But I suppose I have no right to feel proud of his accomplishments. I cannot claim any merit in what he has become. I have not been at his side as he grew up, I have taught him nothing. I am a stranger to him— as he is to me.
I wonder how he came to be recruited by the Sith, and about the life he had in their temple as a child and adolescent for, dear Lydah, there is something I don't like in his eyes.
His eyes are a blend of blue-green-grey as yours were, and change according to the light and, I suppose, his emotions. They are beautiful eyes, fascinating — but also disturbing.
They are eyes that have seen too much, too soon, and I cannot help but feeling worried, as a Jedi and as a father.
ADDENDUM – early afternoon
I am just back from my meeting with Obi-Wan. It went well, for my previous meditation has helped me to calm down and be ready to face him like a Jedi, and not like an emotionally overwhelmed father.
We have discussed in depth the situation we will find, or might find on Naboo, and I have been impressed by how very informed Obi-Wan is, considering he must have had only a few hours to prepare.
We have compared our information about the Trade Federation, and he has expressed the feeling he believes there is something else, some hidden reason behind this current crisis, something that has nothing to do with the taxation of the commercial routes.
I did not agree nor disagree with him, just listened to his words as I studied him and tried to know him better.
Obi-Wan-- I cannot bring myself to refer to him as Sith Knight Kenobi here in the privacy of my quarters – is clearly more attuned with the Unifying Force than with the Living Force. It is not a fault, of course, but given the dangerous missions usually undertaken by the Sith, a better understanding of the Living Force could help him in many tricky situations.
I would be honoured to teach him, but I can't, not now at least.
Maybe, in the future, if I am able to forge a friendship with him…
Listen to your words, Qui-Gon Jinn! You are running too much. You must concentrate on the here and now. You have a mission to accomplish and it does not involve winning your son's trust and friendship.
Obi-Wan has agreed to let me take charge of the negotiations, but he expects me to pass him the command should diplomacy fail. I am not used to taking orders when I am in the field, which means I have another reason to work hard to find a solution to the blockade of Naboo. Another good reason is that I don't want to see my son in danger. Now that I have found him, I cannot risk to lose him again.