Rushing along with Cirdan and Poencak behind her, she squeezed through many others, seeking refuge and a new life.
As she looked around herself, Erestor started to notice a lot of people weeping on the streets. It seemed a rather strange sight to her, she thought they would be happy to be free, free from the nastiness of the Valinor; she peered questioningly up at Cirdan. Perceiving her confusion, Cirdans eyes changed, and his face seemed to become graver.
"The elves that weep here, weep for…weep for ones they know they've lost in Valinor. Remember the night you had to run, and your brother had to leave you. They weep for the one's that lay, slain on the ground. One's that they know will not return to them, in this path of life." He lowered his eyes, as he had also lost a loved one that night; his dear wife and brother. He couldn't face Erestor when it came to recounting that night; and never would be able to.
When Cirdan questioned her of wither she remembered that terrible night, she didn't have to think hard, for a split second she became enraged with him but when she saw the look on his face, pity struck her heart and she forgave him. So, this is what her new life was going to be like. Despite the fact she was only two years of age, she already knew, the childhood her mother had promised her was going to be cut short-from now on.
"You'll stay here for tonight, in three days time we will set out, you, me, Poencak and some others, you might recognize them. We will head to Lindon. It's a fair country, there if you wish you can start a completely new life, away from all the past sorrows you have endured."
With that Cirdan closed the door to the room, in which Erestor (apparently now) was going to spend the next three nights. She didn't quite understand why, Cirdan was suddenly more grave and seemingly less kind to her. She didn't understand a lot of things. Looking around herself, Erestor started to notice, how The Grey Havens, seemed to be losing their appeal. Everyone here seemed to hate her; things were never like this when Thranduil was there with her. At least with Thranduil she had someone that didn't seem to hate her. A silent tear fell down her face. Today was her fourth birthday. No matter how hard she tried to cry, she couldn't seem to do it. Her heart was far from happy. It was then Erestor noticed that it started to rain. Looking up through the window, her face changed. Crying no more tears, Erestor just held a blank emotionless expression on her face. Leaning down she rested her chin on her arms, which were folded on the window ledge and continued to look out. The stars didn't seem to shine at all, that night. As the rain continued to pour down, she got more and colder towards the outside world. It was clear now, no one was going to look after her; Cirdan had made it defiantly clear, just like everyone else here and Thranduil had obviously made it his mission to just to get her out of Valinor & his way.
No, she would make her own way. Her brother had always been there for her, and one major thing he had taught her was, that she could survive by herself.
Peering slowly up at the few stars that had appeared, she whispered a silent thank-you, drew the curtains and got as much sleep as she could.
Three days seemed like nothing. They had passed so quickly; that when it was the morning of the fourth day, Erestor only then, did start to reflect on the past days. Mainly keeping to herself, she'd not actually seen Cirdan or Poencak. This hadn't meant she'd seen nobody. Walking became her favorite pastime, and to her surprise (only at the beginning) nobody seemed to have a problem with a fouryear old walking around by herself. They were too involved with themselves and the problems that they had, to notice a strange girl walking around. She'd felt blessed though about this, at least no one inquired about who she was or where she'd come from. Or worst of all, who her parents were. She gave them no blame for not caring about her, the problems they had were of a grand scale. The battles and wars in Valinor were something that shouldn't ever be ignored.
She'd started to understand some things about middle earth; it was very different from Valinor, including its elves. Everything seemed more real but also more subject to harm, sorrow and the toils of the world.
Even through all of these, it still seemed to have a beauty that Valinor didn't.
The fourth day had arrived, rather quietly but quickly. On the fourth day, nearly everyone was making preparations to go, to where ever they were going.
Things were very busy, so Erestor just decided to sit in the cart Cirdan was loading. Glancing around Erestor perceived the air to be so thick, that it could be cut with a knife. Bored with nothing to do, Erestor start fumbling with some rope lying next to her.
"Please don't touch that." Stated Cirdan plainly, not even glancing at her.
"Where are we going?" Replied Erestor back, just as plainly as Cirdan had talked to her.
"Lindon." Replied Cirdan back stiffly, now looking at her.
His grey eyes, racked her up and down; as if expecting a smile or little nod of the head; but he received none of it.
All Erestor did was look down at her feet and turn her head. It was then that Cirdan noticed that she had changed; or something about her had changed.
"Erestor?" Asked Cirdan quietly.
"Hmm?" Hummed Erestor back, with her back turned towards him.
"You're going to be …we will be staying…" He couldn't seem to find the right words to say to her. Wanting to comfort her in some way, he wanted to offer some caring advice, but she seemed to not notice it. As almost anytime kind words were offered to sooth her wounds, she became deaf towards them.
He had no answers to her questions nor did he have any means to heal her wounds or scares she carried with her. He knew someone that might be able to help her.
'Soon'; he thought to himself.
Soon the company that was leaving made their way towards what ever destination they had. She noticed soon, that not every elve that had left the Grey havens was going to Lindon. In the end, only two other carts had kept by Cirdans side.
Faintly curious, Erestor questioned Cirdan about this.
"Where have all the others left?" Asked Erestor arching an eyebrow at him.
"They have gone their separate ways." Answered Cirdan back, monotonously.
"So not all elves in middle earth live in Lindon?" Inquired Erestor, rather innocently, and more suiting to her age. This subject, genuinely interested the young she elve.
Lightly giggling at her innocence, Cirdan playfully answered back.
"Nay my dear Erestor, not all elves reside in Lindon. Dear me say, what would happen if they did. I fear there wouldn't be enough room, just to accommodate them standing up." Laughed Cirdan back, leaning backwards slightly; to balance himself.
Looking up at him, Erestor noticed something new. Not just about elves, but emotions. She couldn't yet put a name to it, but the mood had changed for a second. Continuing on with his explanation.
"In Lindon dwells a friend of mine, actually a couple of my close friends dwell in Lindon. They came years ago. When elves first heard the call of the sea. That's when they perceived that there were more lands then just Valinor. Not all of our kind were eager to explore the new land…that's of course when we could be counted as one kin." Cirdans expression then changed to a grimmer one. When he noticed Erestor looking up at him, puzzled at his sudden change of voice, resumed a lighter tone.
"Well some-nay- a lot of elves became keen to find and live in these new lands. A good number of them were my friends. They indeed begin a new and seemingly good life. At the time, we did not believe that they could have a good life outside of the Valinor. When we found they did, well…more of us joined them, however not all. That's why there was a rush…well, you know what I mean." Cirdan continued, in the last sentences he couldn't help but regain a grim composure. Smiling weakly at Erestor, he resumed steering the horses pulling the cart.
Looking back at Poencak, that was sitting in the back sleeping, she turned her head around. For the rest of the journey she kept her head down, staring at her feet, contemplating, if she would have done the same thing if, she had been in the same situation (no doubt, she would have dragged her family with her, whether or not they liked it, or not; what ever decision she would have made.)