Scene the First: Ye Olde Prologue
Lots and lots of evildoers stood in front of the judge.
The first was a disgusting, filthy, shrunken old man who went by the name of Riev. Although he was a bishop, a wielder of light magic, he enjoyed, for the larger portion of the second war of the stones, nothing more than commanding several dark creatures, a glass of fine wine, long walks on the beach and a good book.
Standing on his left was perhaps the most beautiful of Vigarde's generals, Valter.
"What?" The blonde next to Valter screeched. "No! I am the most beautiful of Vigarde's generals! I, Selena, fluorspar!"
By this time, the jury was is such a muddle at the sheer controversy at the thought of Selena being more beautiful than Valter, the judge had to take a MINT EDITION PWN-ING HAMMER out of the box and slam it down on the table, shouting; "Order! Order! I said ORDER, you little rapscallions!"
Soon, there was order again.
So, as I was saying:
Standing on his left was perhaps the most beautiful of Vigarde's generals, Valter. His dark blue hair rolled down his back, and he turned and winked at his girlfriend, his fan girl and his high school sweet heart/prom date. The appropriate names for these, though, were his wyvern, that man who rakes through their bins every night, and his mother.
"Call me." He said, giving them a sly wave and delighting them with his saucy banter.
"Order, order." The judge repeated, shaking his head oh so slightly and turning to face the next culprit. "Selena, the fluorspar."
"I'm innocent!" Selena snapped. "I was afraid Vigarde would dump me if I didn't do it!"
"You were dating Vigarde?" Valter exclaimed, his eyes widening. "But- But that can't be! I was dating Vigarde!"
"You bitch!" Valter's wyvern screamed, walking over and opening a can of whoop ass on Valter.
"Noooo!" Valter bellowed, clutching at the side where he had gotten a mouth full of claws. "My face! My beautiful, beautiful face! I'm scarred for life!"
"Finally!" Selena snarled happily, a mad glint in her eyes. "I am the most beautiful in all of the army!"
"Actually," Riev said, studying the wyvern lord's cheek. "It doesn't appear to be all that bad. It'll probably just bruise."
"Aw poop." Selena said sadly.
"Order, order." The judge whimpered. He was beginning to tired of this lot. Why were no strippers ever accused? "Bring in the next accused!"
The doors were flung open, and in strode… him. The grand Pooh-Bah. The dark lord. The demon king.
"omfg so totaly SHIBBY!1oneoneeleven!" The mass of fan girls screamed.
Valter's wyvern started off towards the Demon King/Lyon, before turning to him and saying, "I'm moving on."
"Rosemary!" Valter screamed. "Noooo!"
"You bitch, my name's Ron." The wyvern snapped.
"Ha ha!" Riev laughed, pointing. "You dated a man."
"He dated his wyvern." Selena stated, staring at him.
"Hey!" Valter snapped. "At least I had a lover!"
Selena looked close to tears. "I.. think I'm gonna go and eat a tonne of chocolate now." She whispered tearfully, before running out of the court room, sobbing.
"What..? Where did the guards go?" The judge asked, before he spotted them piled on top of the Demon King. "Oh."
"Has the jury came to a verdict here?" Riev moaned. "My feet are getting tired. And I looked at a brightly coloured child and hurt my eyes."
"Yes we have!" Innes said, standing up from the crowd. "I never knew jury duty could be so much fun! Anyhow, we've come up with an entertaining, creative way of punishing you. We've oh so spiffily made a script that you have to follow, based loosely on the second war of the stones. You might have to share, sorry."
The crowd gathered round the script.
"On the first line Eirika says, 'omg I love Innes so much and I want to marry him cuz he's so awesomely cool and stuff.'" Selena pointed out.
"When did you- never mind." Valter began, but stopped.
"Why do I have to play Eirika?" Riev exclaimed.
"You let emotions run free in your talking." A man said, appearing seemingly out of nowhere. "I think that's important when playing a young woman in Eirika's position. Hi, Klaus Belignion, director."
"You're aweird man." Riev said.