Still Dont own anything, and Im sorry if this seems a bit extreme. Please feel free tohit me with a mallet if you like.
Chapter Four: Checkmate, Revelations, Please Don't Go
"Ikari, what is the meaning of this!" Gendo was impressed. The SEELE members had reacted quickly when they discovered that their were two Rei's walking about. At least they didn't know much about the second one. He decided to play dumb.
"What would you be speaking of?"
SEELE 01 answered, Kiel Lorenz's monolith lighting slightly to differentiate the speaker from the rest. "We know about the second Nephilim Ikari, there is not to be more than one at any singular time. The soul of Lilith could be irrevocably damaged if more was taken from it."
Ikari responded honestly. "Nothing has been taken from Lilith, the Nephilim does not hold a part of her soul. There is no risk of degradation."
The SEELE members all opened up now, angry. "Then tell us Ikari, why is their a second walking about!"
This was where the lying began. "You are all aware of the dummy plug initiatives recent advancements. Several major breakthroughs have been made that we believed should be employed in a testing environment."
"So it is a Dummy?" SEELE 03 asked.
"Yes, as has been said the Dummy Plug system is based off of Pilot Ayanami's experiences, this is an experiment to see whether direct experience will provide a more viable Dummy Plug core." Gendo replied. The lie would hopefully make sense in the eyes of the SEELE members. The Dummy Plug system was vital to their plans and as a back up if unforseen difficulties emerged.
SEELE 01 answered after several moment of deliberation. "We will allow this experiment to continue Gendo, we expect regular reports on the Synchronization rates . . . The Dummy plugs are still of Lilith, if it begins to act strangely you are to terminate it with extreme prejudice."
None of the SEELE member noticed the slight clenching of Gendo's jaw, or how he tightened the lacing of his gloved fingers. "Of course."
"Very good then Gendo", SEELE 03 began to speak. "Have preparations been made for the 13th Angels' arrival?"
"The dummy plug system for Unit 01 is operational, it will function as required." Gendo did not mention that it would not be needed. Even as he spoke over sixty Section Two agents were securing the area where Unit 03 was being prepared for its initial activation. It was obvious from the scrolls description of events that the 13th was going to infect Unit 03. Gendo had sent a fully decontamination team along to take the EVA apart. By next evening there would be barely any pieces left of EVA 03 big enough to stuff in a matchbox.
SEELE would by then realize something was amiss. But it would be too late for them to do anything even if they took drastic action. He had already made arrangements for the surgery with Doctor Akagi, within the hour Adam would be a fine paste of LCL is his gloved fist.
"All is as it should be then. Gendo, don't fail us." The SEELE monoliths faded out leaving Gendo alone in his office. He smirked. "Checkmate".
Shinji Ikari awoke tired and dry mouthed.
Asuka Langley Soryu awoke hungry and ready to kill said dry mouthed Ikari.
Yui Ikari woke still chewing on her pillow as she lay about two meters from her son's bed on her own futon. Her presence at Misato's home meant that Gendo had over half of Section Two monitoring the apartment 24/7. She had to admit it was sweet knowing he cared so much. Though she imagined the Section Two agents were quite confused.
And Rei Ayanami remained asleep. She had slept over at Misato's apartment at the Major's request, and without the sound of construction to wake her she was quite content to simply rest.
Chaos was the order of the day as Asuka tried to kill Shinji as per her morning ritual, with the addition Yui trying to restrain her. Pen Pen watched the whole thing with mild relief. It appeared that after yesterday things were back to normal. Rei slept through it all.
"So what are you going to do today?" Yui asked her son as he finished cleaning up the mess made cooking breakfast. She had a pretty good idea that he would have wanted to just lounge about, but it would be nice to get him to go do something. And then there was Rei. Even over dinner the night before his eyes had moved over her like she wasn't there. To be more precise, as if he was afraid he would realize she was there. "Uh well, yesterday I was going to ask . . ."
"Hmmm?", Yui turned to look at her sons downcast face.
"I was going to ask Ayanami if she wanted to go to a movie." He finished tonelessly.
"Well . . . why don't you ask her today?" Yui asked, acting as if their was nothing out of the ordinary, as if she hadn't been trapped in a not so jolly purple giant for ten years.
The only way she could think of getting it through to Shinji that his relationship with Rei was okay was to lead by example.
"I, just can't, I'm . . . I'm afraid of her." He whimpered. The shock of his mother coming back from the grave, and the trauma brought on by his revelation of what Rei was had driven his psyche into a firmly rooted stance.
'This calls for drastic measures'. Yui was a gentle woman, but when her patients wore thin she could be moved to rather reckless, inadvisable, behavior. Mostly inadvisable. It should be noted that she wasn't very patient.
Shinji nearly had a heart attack as she pulled his head down and kissed him full on the lips. He froze, panicked, struggled and then forced himself away breathing deeply.
"WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT!" He screamed and began spitting into the sink.
Yui shrugged. "Testing a theory, and you know what."
"W-what?" He looked up confused, shocked, and feeling a little queasy.
"I was right, you do like Rei." She said teasing.
Shinji shook his head, "I . . . I don't . . ."
"Shinji, its perfectly natural, your mind saw me, but your body saw Rei. I can tell by how you kissed just when our lips met. And then once your mind caught up you panicked." Yui's smile was mischievous, "At least I can tell my Son's a good kisser."
Their was a soft thump as Shinji slid to the floor moaning.
'Maybe that wasn't such a good idea', Yui admitted.
She kneeled down next to her son and grabbed him by the shoulders. "Shinji, I want you to tell me, why do you fear Rei."
Shinji stuttered for a few moments usually when he looked this pathetic people just went away. His mother wasn't going to do that. Only one other person had ever just sat their and tried to speak with him even at his most pathetic. Rei.
"If what you say is true then . . . she's an Angel. Its just, when I first met her . . . . she was hurt an in pain . . . because of those . . . because of those things!" He finally managed to stutter out. "I used to . . . like her sort of . . . but now its just dark . . . she seems so dark."
"We fear what we don't understand", Yui whispered to herself, well then she would have to make him understand. "Shinji come with me." She pulled him up gently, holding his hand as they walked down the hallway to Asuka's room.
She opened the door and nudged him inside.
There was Ayanami, tucked in under the blankets snoring softly. The room was lit by the late morning sun and her skin fairly seemed to glow. She looked so frail and peaceful that for a moment he wasn't afraid.
"See Shinji, there's nothing to fear." Yui whispered gently.
Shinji just nodded stupidly.
She got down on her hands and knee's behind her new twin and nudged her gently. "Rei . . . Rei." Rei's face twitched for a moment, her eyes opened slowly looking first to Yui and then to Shinji.
"Good morning", she spoke as she sat up, the blanket clinging to her.
"Good morning", Yui replied kindly.
Rei just stared at Shinji . . . Shinji looked back, frightened, ashamed.
"G-good morning, Ayanami." He finally stuttered.
Rei seemed to accept this and got up. Yui quickly turned Shinji around. Rei had gone to bed later than Asuka, which meant nobody had been given a chance to complain about Rei's sleep wear, or lack thereof.
Shinji was pushed out gently but forcefully by his mother. The door to the room was slammed shut and a rustling could be heard accompanied by hushed voices.
When it finally opened five minutes later Rei was in a t-shirt that came down nearly to her knees and had a pair of shorts under that. She looked for all the world like a normal kid just waking up on a Sunday morning. Other than her absurd hair and eyes, but that was a moot point.
That sense of normalness finally forced Shinji to accept her if uncomfortably for who she was. Rei, the Rei who had taken a blast from Ramiel's particle cannon for him, and the Rei who had been in so much pain when he had met her.
"Uhm . . . I'll go make you some breakfast." Shinji said, a little less nervously.
"Thank you Shinji", Rei said softly.
He paused. "You're . . . You're welcome Rei."
'That wasn't too bad', he reassured himself as he headed back to the kitchen. 'Rei doesn't eat meat', her reminded himself. It was easier to keep that in mind with two vegetarians now.
Yui occupied herself sitting in front of the TV listening to a 'scientific' documentary on the Angels. 'I'll give NERV credit, their good at handing out half truths.' It seemed that the general populace was being told that the Angels were some unknown aggressors that had to reach a specific point on the earth's surface. The GeoFront to be precise and breach it in order to initiate a self destruct as powerful as 2nd impact and wipe the human race out. A more or less accurate assessment, it allowed the populace to know the importance of Tokyo-3 and the EVA's without worrying them about the agenda's of NERV or SEELE.Asuka was practically bored to tears by the whole thing. She lay their watching just to have something, anything to do. Hikari was busy handling a meeting amongst the class representatives, leaving her stuck with baka Shinji, Wondergirl, and Yui, who she had yet to come up with a derogatory nickname for.
"Why are you so mean to him?" Yui asked, not turning her attention from the TV, she had a bad habit of doing that. Paying attention to two things at once. It was a little disconcerting.
"What are you talking about?" Asuka snapped. "You mean Shinji? Your son's a little baka pervert." Asuka said with little interest.
Yui's eyes were in her face in a second. That was another of her odd habits, and probably something Shinji would have picked up if she had been around when he was growing up. It somehow managed to make her intimidating at need. "Why do you think he's a pervert?"
"BECAUSE I've seen how he looks at me!"
"Like you're an attractive member of the opposite sex who hates his guts?" Yui asked mildly.
Asuka blinked. "You have no idea what he thinks about me!" She shouted angrily.
"On the contrary I have quite a good idea. He admires you, though your abuse has probably ruined any chance of a meaningful relationship."
Asuka just looked unconvinced. Yui rolled back over to look at the TV.
"He didn't kiss you that night."
"What?"
"When you were sleeping, he didn't kiss you in your sleep. He wanted to help because you were having a nightmare. And it made him . . . angry that you would show the world such a false shell instead of accepting help."
Asuka snapped. She rose up and struck Yui across the face hard enough to send the frail girl reeling. "Shut the hell up wonderbitch!" She screamed. She didn't give a damn if she wasn't Rei. It was a release for all the tension. Heading back to her room to get dressed she was out the door in a matter of minutes.
Yui rubbed her cheek, Asuka had hit he with the heel of her palm coming down first. 'That might actually bruise'. She just looked at the closed door for a few more minutes. Shinji and Rei had heard the whole thing and now stood observing the after affects.
'Guess this proves I was arrogant', Yui finally thought to herself. Sure she knew everything about her sons head, and even a little about Rei's. But she didn't really know anything about Asuka. She was nothing like her mother. Kyouko Zeplin Soryu would have beat the crap out of her daughter for ever acting like that.
"Are you hurt Mrs. Ikari?" Rei asked as she looked at the red hand print spread across Yui's face.
"Just my pride", Yui replied.
"Why did Asuka snap like that?" Shinji asked a bit alarmed. His mother was odd, he would admit even from the day she had been back he was getting the feeling she was a bit acentric despite her kind and loving personality. But what could she have done to anger Asuka like that. Even Misato rarely managed to get physical retaliation from the fiery German Girl.
"I think . . . I hurt her feelings." She said after some deliberation.
"Huh, how."
Yui just looked back to the door. "Some people have dark ghosts in their pasts. I just hope she can reach a reconciliation with her past." Yui muttered.
'Like Ayanami?' Shinji wondered.
He looked at the albino girl who had taken a seat staring mildly interested at the TV. Shinji ventured a glance. It was apparent Ayanami had not been interest in hearing false a false retelling of 2nd Impact. She had changed the channel eventually stopping on one playing Anime. One of those cheesy old ones with giant robots being used by secret organizations and . . . Shinji almost laughed at just how much of a parallel could be drawn between old cartoons and the life he now lived.
Yui just kept looking at the door worried.
She headed back to Shinji's room. It was her fault Asuka had run off like that, so if was her responsibility to fix it. Yui had the distinct feeling Asuka was not the most emotionally balanced of people.
They had stopped at a clothing store the night before on the way from NERV to Misato's apartment. A small duffel bag with a couple changes of clothes lay in Shinji's room. She cursed her own idiocy as she pulled on a light pink windbreaker. He hands were still a bit clumsy with her most recent experiences involving motor control being primarily destructive in nature.
She was to the door in an instant all other thoughts forgotten as she stormed out. Leaving Shinji staring blankly and Rei wondering just how practical a giant robot with three pilots was.
Asuka kept walking head hunched drown, tears trickling down her face. 'Damn Rei, damn Shinji, damn that father of his, and damn his mother. I do not live to be judged by them.' Asuka had by now managed to make it half a block, pace quickened in an attempt to escape from her troubles.
'But then, why did it hurt when she said Shinji didn't kiss me and was angry at me?' She wasn't certain how long she walked, she was pretty sure she doubled back a few times, she finally ended up in a park not too far from Misato's apartment, no more than two or three blocks distant.
"Baka Shinji", she whispered angry. 'But he's always tried to help me'. She hated him more for it, for leaving her indebted.
"Wondergirl", she hissed. 'She's never hurt me or been mean when I insult her.' She hated her more for never fighting back, never giving her a challenge, or a release for her own misery.
"Yui", she said the name like a curse. 'I don't even know the woman, and she certainly doesn't know me. And why does she trust Baka Shinji so much? Why is she so sure he isn't a pervert.' She was avoiding what she really thought.
Why did Shinji get to have a mother who loved him. Why did I worm like him get back a mother who was so caring. It wasn't fair! "Its not fair. Its not fair. Its . . . not . . . FAIR!"
She tucked herself into a ball next to a fountain and cried.
Yui kept searching, 'She's a fourteen year old girl, she cant possibly have gone far.' Of course this fourteen year old girl was responsible for more property damage, rampant destruction, and accidental loss of life, then the entire Al Quada terrorist cell had managed in the last eight years.
'On the other hand . . .' Yui trailed off.
The problem was, she didn't even know where to start looking. Shinji . . . Shinji she knew better then he knew himself, a side affect of synching with her son, mind, body, and soul, literally. Asuka however was a new one. And one of the first people she seriously had needed to interact with without some foreknowledge of their driving motives since she had emerged from Unit 01.
Ten years with no social interaction hadn't quite been enough to drive Yui nuts, she still had visual stimulus even if it was the EVA cage day in and day out. It did however leave her quite lacking when it came to her sense of empathy towards most people. Not that she wanted it that way, it was simply a lack of practice.
Her legs got sore quickly and she was forced to slow her pace considerably. Her arms still ached from the slowly healing divots of flesh she had torn out along with the nerve links and feeder tubes. It didn't help that her body, though kept in minimal operating condition by it's submersion in LCL, was still at least partially atrophied. Leaving her with little muscle tone. Even kicking Gendo in the groin had taken all the energy she could muster.
'Well he did deserve it.' She remembered HER Gendo, the acentric somewhat apathetic man she had married. She had been one of the few people he had ever given a damn about. And this realization had made him adorably clumsy when they had first become friends. 'Maybe we can reach a reconciliation Gendo, but its going to take a long, long time.'
Shinji glanced nervously to Rei. She was staring intently at the TV, not really watching the romance that it had been switched to. She wasn't particularly easy to bore. But she didn't seem interested either.
He shuddered as he saw his mothers features in that face. 'Why didn't I see it before . . .' He had no photo's of his mother. Nothing but his memories, as much as his father may have thought those were far from sufficient. Still, he shook his head angrily. He could not, WOULD not. Think of Rei that way. She was not his mother, she wasn't even his sister if what his mother kept telling him was true.
But still . . .
"A- Ayanami?" He asked unsure.
She tilted her head towards him starring him in the eyes. Those red orbs, locked onto their blue opposites. "Yes Ikari?"
"Woul- would you . . . Would you, tell me about yourself?"
She cocked her head slightly, confusion in her eyes and face.
"You have already been informed to my nature." 'Does he seek to confront me like Major Katsuragi did?'
"I just . . . just want to hear it from you. Unless, unless I hear it from you I'm afraid I'll always feel like you were . . . lying to me. Like you are a lie."
Rei stared at him for several moments more. 'Am I a lie? What am . . . I am Ayanami Rei, and who I am is all he wishes to know.'
He thought she was just going to clam up, or tell him he wasn't authorised, or some other suitably detached line.
"I will tell you." She said simply.
"I am Ayanami Rei, I was created for the purpose of defeating the angels." She could not tell him the full truth, he really wasn't authorised to know anything about her intended final use.
"My creation was achieved through the use of genetic material removed from the 2nd Angel. Found crucified some time ago, by NERV, then Gehrim scientists. It was then spliced into a human Genome. As I am considered both important to most of the primary and tertiary scenario's and am also needed as a combatant it was decided that I be made disposable."
"Disposable?", Shinji asked, he knew what she meant, her clones. But still the way she talked about it . . .
"My clones in Terminal Dogma can be loaded with my latest harmonics data. Along with the addition of my soul which is salvaged after each death from Lilith. I am essentially pseudo immortal."
He shuddered as she continued. How could his father have defiled something so beautiful. Did he really think Rei was beautiful? How could he find beauty in the singular being which terrified him beyond anything else in life?
"Why . . . why did my father use mother's DNA?" Shinji asked, confused and angry. His anger and fear was now shifting ever so slightly to his father. The man he was beginning to not hate or fear, but despise with all his heart and soul.
"I do not know.' It was an honest response, she understood why Liliths genome had provided part of her genetics, to allow her to act as a vessel for Adams merging with Lilith. But the use of Yui Ikari's DNA did in fact leave her at a loss. The one thing she was certain of, the Commander never did anything without reason.
"I may venture a guess." She said.
Shinji nodded at her to go on.
"I believe your father saw me as a surrogate for both you and your mother." She said quietly "I did not live up to his expectations. I do not know why, but the Commander never has accepted me as more than a poor replacement for you." She whispered the words, they sounded bitter, angry, sad.
'No, Rei never shows emotions. Why would she now?' Shinj thought, his mind caught though on what she had said. 'The Commander never accepted me as more that a poor replacement for you.'
"What, what do you mean a replacement?" He asked, he didn't get it. How could his father have seen Ayanami as a replacement. He didn't even treat her as a daughter. He had seen where Rei lived, a poor run down apartment on the edge of town . . .
Memories pored back of the day he had moved in with Misato. He would have been living in the same area. His father saw even his own child as a tool.
Rei continued. "Ever since you have arrived he called you Shinji on the days you have defeated an Angel. He seems . . . not just satisfied that you have done you duty as he would with me. He seems . . . proud." She finished. The words twisted in her guts. Rei had slowly come to realize that even though he showed her affection the commander held only the slightest fondness towards her.
'It is because I can be replaced, and so can be used to achieve more dangerous objectives with little strategic risk.' She had reasoned. But as it went on, day after day each battle the Commander seeing his son grudgingly a little more worthy. The Commander had only once shown Shinji any kind of affection to his face. And when he had Rei had felt sick. As if the one thing special to her had been ripped away.
It hurt all the more that Rei could understand that those words, though calculated to have an affect, were genuine.
Shinji starred as a tear trickled down Rei's cheek. She caught the droplet in one small hand and studied it intently. Light hit it at just the right angle to make the salty drop glow.
"Rei", he whispered sadly. Unconsciously he moved closer to her.
As if she wished to repel him she spoke again, head lowered. "I have died before now Shinji, I am the second." She spoke slowly.
"The second?"
"The second Rei Ayanami. I died once before when I was a child. I have died and been reborn and the Commander has shown no joy for my rebirth. I have fought efficiently, and the Commander has never been proud of me. The Commander no longer needs me as a reminder of you or your mother, and I am no longer needed to achieve the commanders final objective."
'Final objective, what?' Shinji thought in confusion. Answers were not in his opinion supposed to bring on so many new questions.
"I am forced to conclude that my life holds no further value." Her eyes widened in shock. Had she really said that?
Her entire frame trembled as the realization that she had been suppressing those thoughts hit her hard. She had fought for the Commander, died for the Commander, and would die again for the Commander. But he had not loved her. Cared about her well being, yes. But no more than a good Commander cares for the well being of a subordinate.
What had she expected? Had she expected him to love her like a daughter? To want her in the place of his son? The trembling grew more violent as she answered those questions.
Yes she had expected him to love her. Yes she had expected . . . she had wanted to take Shinji's place once she learned of the Commander's slightest pride in his son.
The trembling grew violently. It was too much for her mind to accept she shook uncontrollably, a massive violent release of emotion as everything she had suppressed came out so unexpectedly she had no time to brace against it.
Her mind wanted to escape from these revelations, escape by any means necessary. Rei was a fairly stable entity, but her world was literally being shaken apart at its foundations. She wanted to die, but she couldn't, killing herself would only lead to her reawakening in the room of gaff in another body. Forced to live once again with her mind suppressing all of this. She couldn't allow herself to live like that, she no longer wished to be a doll.
Her AT field. She could control it with far more dexterity than any human being. Normally it would be impossible for her to do this, but she was panicking and acted almost on instinct. She pushed violently at that which held her very soul together. If she could destroy her AT field now, with no others to merge with, her soul would not be able to sustain itself. She could erase herself totally and completely from existence.
The world grew blurry around her. She felt a sense of vertigo. 'Almost, almost.' The field was weakening, part of her was overjoyed. If there was no purpose in her life, then she would gladly accept death. Blackness claimed her.
"AYANAMI!" Shinji shouted, all he had seen of this torrent was Rei shaking, and then collapsing to the floor unconscious. Her eyes wept LCL as she lay there, sweat beading up on her face suddenly. Her eyes open but not seeing.
Terrified he ran for the phone. He didn't know who exactly to call so he dialed a number he thought he would never need to use. It was a direct link to Section Two's dispatch office. The voice on the line was neutral and feminine.
"This is the Dispatch Office, what is your situation?"
"Its, pilot Ayanami, she's at Major Katsuragi's apartment, she just passed out!" He shouted panicked.
Their was a pause. "Roger, a medical team is being dispatched. Section Two agenst will be their within five minutes, please unlock the front door, and assess Pilot Ayanami's status."
"O-okay". Shinji quickly rushed to do what he was told, he disengaged both locks and then rushed back to Rei, forgetting entirely his discomfort about being near her.
She looked sickly and pale as he sat next to her. But he could feel her breath, and see her chest rising and falling steadily. He touched her arm, and shuddered. For an instant it had felt soft and bruised, like rotting fruit, before solidifying into a firm human limb again.
"Ayanami, Ayanami!" He shouted panicked. There was nothing more he could do. He tugged he close, crying and stroking her hair. What had happened. She'd been fine, and then she had just started to spasm and then this . . .
He was still holding her tight when the Section Two agents arrived two minutes later. The medics were only barely able to get him to release her, and only then at the agreement that he could stay with her all the way to the NERV infirmary. The entire way he just held her hand sobbing. One of the medics heard him spouting gibberish. 'Poor kid, hope she'll pull through for his sake.'
Shinji just kept whispering to himself, chanting as if it were a prayer."Please Rei, Im sorry, Im sorry. Your fine just the way you are, Im sorry I was scared. Just please . . . don't go."