Again I own nothing, I know nothing, etc.
I was actually surprissed I get so many hits on this story. If you guys all have time to read it, why dont you read Neo Cooly and give me some reviews you ungrateful bastards! Sorry. Anyways hope this is what your looking for. I don't know I just write it. And thankyou all for giving reviews other then, 'Keep Writing'.
Chapter Five: Don't Cry Over Me
Yui found Asuka in a park not too far from Misato's apartment. She absently noted the pair of Section Two agents that had been following her since she had started out. 'They aren't very . . . skilled are they.' Probably newbie field agents. She imagined several more were probably keeping themselves better hidden. It occurred to her that she could have requested Section Two keep an eye on Asuka, but this was something she needed to do herself.
"Asuka", she asked softly as she approached the girl.
Blue eyes ringed with red looked up hatefully at her, it was apparent she had been crying for quite some time.
"I'm sorry Asuka, I was being an idiot." Yui said sadly.
Asuka turned he head away, trying to ignore the other girl.
Yui shrugged and sat down next to her. Asuka immediately moved away trying to distance her self. Yui just scooted over closer. She grabbed Asuka's hand, holding it tight despite strong protests from its owner both physically and verbally.
Yui rubbed again at the bruise forming bellow he left eye. "You know, you swing quite hard. I'm sure Kyouko would have been very proud of you."
That had the opposite affect to what Yui had expected. She'd hoped the girl would acceptthe words as acomplement. Instead she swung a hook at Yui. Yui on her part though surprised had already decided this was a possibility in Asuka's agitated state. She ducked the blow, leaving Asuka's hand to slam into the side of the fountain they sat against, scraping skin from the knuckles.
The girl cursed angrily as she drew back for another swing. It didn't land. A Section Two agent held Asuka's hand tight in a palm that would have consumed the entirety of Yui's head. Several more of NERV's MIBs stood about in a loose semi circle. These were the good ones, not just the rookies she'd caught site of.
"Pilot Soryu, we are here to detain you for violent actions against Ms. Ayanami." The man announced. Nodding his head slightly to the girl he had been told was Rei's sister. "Please come with us."
Asuka struggled furiously. Tears filling her eyes as the man lifted her up one handed. "Damn you, damn you wonderbitch", she screamed.
"I'm not her Asuka. Please don't be so rude, to me, or Rei." She replied simply. She turned to the Section Two agent. "Would you please let her go." The man blinked in surprise, the tone of that simple request had carried the weight of an order. "Sorry, no can do Ma'am. Orders from the Commander, we're to kill or detain anyone who attempts to harm you . . ." He eyed the bruise on her cheek, and the still fading palm print. "It appears we may have been a bit late. I apologize Ma'am."
Yui sighed. "Ok, how about you guys just stay here. After all that way you can keep an eye on me and her. If she does anything else then we'll see about detaining her, ok?"
"Ma'am I really don't think . . ." The Section Two agent began.
"Pweeeeeaaaassseeee" Yui said in her cutest imitation of a four year old, and did something she had never thought she was capable of. Pouting out her lips and widening her eyes while maintaining total seriousness in the endeavor.
The Section Two agent was one of the better members of NERV's security organization, he had been in the US Delta Force, before being kicked out with the military Downscaling taking place after Second Impact. But even his heart melted at that sight. "We'll stay in sight, he said. If she does anything . . ." He nodded to Asuka, still struggling like a fish out of water as she was dangled by one arm. "Then we'll detain her until further notice."
Yui shrugged. "That's the best I could have hoped for. Thank you."
The Agents backed off a respectable distance, leaving Asuka to slide down to the ground fuming angrily. "You're not going to let me leave until I hear you out, is that it?"
Yui shrugged again. "I would prefer if you did, but you're not obligated to listen."
"Fine, lets get this over with." Asuka sound resigned, as if Yui was going to torture her.
She frowned. Closing her eyes, she delved into the fragmented memories she had attained from Rei. These had proven useful to her in the past. Showing the girl really did have things she liked, disliked, loved, feared. Even if they were all faint emotions at best.
They had come in handy getting around the GeoFront too. Without those memories she would never have been able to find her way out of the entry plug. Much less managed to find and reach the showers before somebody noticed a naked fourteen year old covered in LCL running around.
Now she dove into parts of the memories relating to the pilots most importantly. 'Asuka Langley Soryu'. It took her only a few seconds of thought. She understood. 'What have I done . . .'
"Asuka, your mother . . . must have been very sick at the end." Yui whispered sadly. "She was always so proud of you, and always loved you. For her to become like that . . ."
"Don't say it." Asuka interrupted. Her sight was blurring. "Don't say it, just don't say it!"
Yui softly caressed the girls cheek. Asuka swatted it aside. Several of the Section Two agents fidgeted as if just daring the fiery girl to actually strike Yui so they could get this over with.
"Asuka, you should not have had to endure that. And I'm sorry for bringing so much pain to you . . . I would like to try and do some good." Yui finished.
Asuka just looked at her through tear streaked eyes. "I hate you", she whispered.
"Why?" Yui asked.
"Because . . . you hurt me. You acted like you know something about me, but you don't!" She shouted.
"You're right Asuka, I don't know anything about you. But I would like to try." It was the best Yui could do. This girl needed a person to actual care about her. She acted normal on the outside, but she violently pushed away what she really needed. Fearing it because of what it had led to in her childhood.
Watching your mother hanging from a rope was not an experience any child should have been forced to go through.
Asuka didn't respond. Yui slowly began to speak again. This time not talking to Asuka, but recalling memories of time she had spent with Kyouko Zepelin Soryu. At some point, she wasn't sure when, Asuka started to listen to the stories. The time they had gotten drunk together and ended up being driven home by professor Fuyutsuki, made her life. When she had been born, her mother had shown her to everyone, cradling her close. She'd been terrified of letting anyone touch her little one, that made her feel warm, knowing her mother had cared.
More and more stories of a person Asuka had only known as her mama. She wanted to weep as it struck her how much she had lost. How wonderful her mother must have been before she had lost her mind.
She cried now, not out of pain, but out of genuine grief for what she had lost. She wasn't sure how long she cried, but when she finished she noticed a small hand draped over her shoulder. "You can't keep hating people for trying to help you." Yui said. There was a gentleness a compassion nobody had ever shown her in that voice. "You can't keep letting those memories drive you."
"Yeah", Asuka finally said. "Maybe you're right . . ."
One of the Section Two agents was on his cell phone. He paused for a moment listening. He jogged over to Yui and Asuka.
"Ma'am you'll need to come with us."
Yui looked at him irritably. "Look, its fine that she hit me, I deserved it. If you think . . ."
"It's not that Ma'am." The Section Two agent replied. "I was just informed that Pilot Ayanami was hospitalized ten minutes ago."
"What?" Yui asked startled. Even Asuka was surprised by the man's next words.
"Doctor Akagi was their to examine her on her arrival. She believes that Pilot Ayanami attempted to commit suicide."
Gendo Ikari stood quietly at the center of his office examining the tiny creature in the palm of his hand. 'You . . .' He thought. Rage filling him. 'You took my wife away from me.' His grip tightened slightly. The fetus like creature squirmed slightly. 'You drove me to all of this and gave me false hopes' the grip tightened even further. "Death leads to nothing." He spoke quietly. And closed his hand completely. A fine dribble of LCL seeped through the fingers of his good hand. The other hung bandaged at his side.
When he opened his palm their was nothing but some scraps of quickly disintegrating flesh left. The tiny pea sized mass of Adams S2 organ sat at the center of it. He dropped it to the floor and ground the tiny gem beneath his heal.
It was done. Adam was dead.
Gendo walked back to his desk and sat down shakily. He removed the stained glove, not bothering to look at his scared hand, he replaced it with another and went back to work. Thinking nothing more of what he had done. Still a slight satisfaction permeated his being as he began to read the newly created file on Yui Ayanami.
Birth date was identical to Rei's, no surprise, they were after all identical twins. He'd taken the liberty of placing Yui's delivery time an hour earlier. Flaws like that, having the exact same time of delivery on the birth certificate for twins were some of the obvious mistakes Gendo always looked for in forgeries.
Hair color: Blue
Eye Color: Red
Weight: 85lbs/
Height: 4'11"/
Place of Residence: Tokyo-3, Japan.
Former places of Residence: Kyoto-2, Tokyo-2.
Parents: Maya Ayanami- Deceased
Kiyoshi Ayanami- Deceased
Both of these people actually had lived, Maya Ayanami had been a mathematician working on the S2 project at the time of the 1st Angels attack. She had been eight months pregnant at the time, but had insisted on continuing her work on the mathematics behind the super solenoid theory along with the rest of the researchers.
She had died along with her husband and Major Katsuragi's father during Second Impact. It hadn't taken much paperwork shuffling to have Rei's parents apparently live until a short time after Second Impact before dying in a car accident. Only a few changes in their stations at the time of second impact and a few months worth of paperwork to make it look like they were still living in their apartment.
It helped that Maya Ayanami had a fair bur not perfect resemblance to Yui, which made passing Rei off as their daughter much easier if the need had ever arisen.
He continued through the datum.
Current School Enrollment: Tokyo-3 Junior Highschool.
Place of Residence: Tokyo-3, Western District, Apartment 2708B. Major Katsuragi made just as good a place to put Yui as any other. The apartment was in a good district and half of the Section Two agents lived in accommodations within three blocks.
More information followed, completing the allusion that Rei and Yui were twins. It had been a little difficult to modify the paper trail for two human beings, and their were still discrepancies but it was as flawless as the combined might of Section Two's special intelligence division, the MAGI, and Commander Gendo Ikari could make it.
Good enough to fool virtually any Government Agency, you would have to go through a mountain of data to find a flaw.
He signed the document confirming his Guardianship of Yui Ayanami, and then placed it at the edge of the desk. Already out of mind.
He was about to begin in on the next document when his phone rang. He gritted his teeth in agitation as he read the number. Whatever Section Two wanted it had to be bad to call him directly.
He opened the phone and placed to his ear "Gendo." He listened.
His jaw clenched. He dropped the phone to the floor in discussed. He set a quick pace as he headed for the NERV infirmary. 'What have you done Rei?'
Rei noted feeling returning as she struggled up towards the light. Confusion 'Why am I still here.' Sorrow 'I should not be here . . . I should not be'. Confusion again 'Then why am I still here'. Shame 'I was too weak, proof of my own uselessness. This is why the commander can feel proud of his son and not me.'
Her eyes snapped open. She was in the NERV infirmary, sunlight filtering through the windows. The steady reassuring beep of an EKG continued in the background, assuring her that she was in fact alive. 'But that is not what I wish!' She tried to reach for her AT field again, tried to weaken it beneath its minimum sustainable threshold, but she could not. What was keeping her, why did she no longer have the conviction to die?
Her conscious mind finally noticed the wetness against her right arm. She studied it, a brown mop of hair, moving little, but still definitely alive. She knew this head, she knew the face that belonged to it. She felt something within herself forcing its way up coming from her chest and then slowly constricting her throat, before causing her sines' and eyes to burn.
Tears rolled down her cheeks, normal tears, not LCL. Her left hand then seemed to move of its own volition. She just watched as it finally came down on that head, and stroked the hair. The body attached to the head stiffened and then it shot up, blue eyes stared at her.
"Rei?" Shinji asked tears welling up on his own face. She just nodded slightly, her own voice refused to come.
The next thing she knew she felt surrounded by warmth as Shinji hugged her and kept crying. "Doctor Akagi . . . s-said you tried to kill youself." Shinji whispered as he held her tight. "You didn't did you. Why, wh-why would you do something like that."
Rei blinked a few times, her voice finally came to her. "My life holds no value." She whispered hoarsely, "I am not worth your tears. Please, do not cry over me Ikari." Rei said.
He pushed away. The anger in Shinji's eyes froze her heart. "Rei . . . Don't do anything like that ever again!"
She just stared at him confused. Why would Shinji care, she was not his concern. She didn't get any more time to think about it before her lungs were compressed tightly within her chest. She looked down, Shinji was tightening his grip, refusing to let go of her. The stinging in her eyes built and her vision blurred. It irritated her to no end, she wanted to see Shinji but she couldn't with her eyes like this. She rubbed at them angrily and tried to speak.
All that came out was a gurgled cough as her throat tightened painfully again. She was forced to suck down air in hiccups as she tried to speak. She couldn't get anything but her coughing attempts at speech out. She finally let herself lean into the embrace, giving into defeat at her failed attempts to communicate.
It dawned upon her that he was afraid that she had died. It wasn't just concern for another person he had never known, it was fear of losing something special. It was beyond Rei's entire experience set, she had never really been cared for and so did not know how to react. It struck with an almost tangible force. Yet this time she almost exulted in it, the proof that somebody cared.
'Shinji is not Commander Ikari, but if the Commander does not care for me, then I will not care for him. I will care for Shinji who cares for me. He will be my Commander.' Rei thought dizzily, she wasn't certain how she had come to such thoughts and she felt that the word she used to describe Shinji was a little off, but if was the strongest identification for a person she knew. The strongest sense of importance she could impart upon Shinji.
These thoughts too were washed away as the hospital room door was slammed open. A panting doppleganger of Rei stood in the doorway, looking red faced and terrified. Asuka was close behind Yui as she stormed in. Grabbed hold of Rei and looked her over nervously.
'Thank god', Yui thought, Rei seemed fine.
As if voicing her words Rei finally spoke. "Do not be troubled Mrs. Ikari, I am well." She had to force each word out with no minor strain to her vocal cords through her nearly closed throat. The tightness was receding now though and she found she could speak more clearly as she continued.
"I am confident that any remaining injuries will not be fatal."
Mentally emphasizing this to herself, she pushed her own small S2 organ up to the maximum output that she could risk without raising an AT field that would trigger every sensor in the area. The healing process would be accelerated exponentially by the tiny organ.
It wasn't something that she mentioned to her companions. She feared that if Shinji was reminded of what she was he would clam back up and fear her again. If he was going to do that then she wanted to feel this for as long as she could. This sense of contentment.
"Naoka's girl says you tried to commit suicide?" Yui asked surprised.
Rei starred down at her hands. "That is true."
"How?" Yui was curious, how had Rei expected to end her own life when she could be born again as many times as was needed.
"My AT field . . ." She said softly. " . . . I have much greater control over it then a normal person, though not nearly as much as the Angels. I intended to dissipate my field and destroy myself."
The entire room was chill. Yui's faced looked paler than normal, which seeing who she was now related to, should have been impossible.
Shinji just tightened his hug even more, burying his face in Rei's lap.
Asuka stood for a few moments in the doorway. A twitch slowly developed beneath her right eye. Her face grew red. "Wondergirl, YOU BAKA!" She screamed, charging forwards she yanked Shinji away forcefully and shook Rei as violently as she could. A Section Two agent came rushing through the door, and received Asuka's elbow to the nose for his troubles.
She pulled Rei close by the collar of her hospital gown. Not a hard task with someone so small. "Wondergirl, damn you. You were idiotic enough to try and kill yourself, WHY, WHY would you do that?"
Rei looked to Shinji, and then lowered her eyes. "I believed there was no further reason for my existence. So I decided to end it."
The silence this time was broken by Asuka's strained breathing. The Section Two agent slowly lifting himself from the floor was suddenly back on the ground again, his nose leaking blood everywhere. "How dare you be so stupid. Do you have any idea how much you would have hurt Baka Shinji and Yui!"
Rei was confused as the shacking stopped and she found Asuka looking her in the face, rage in her eyes. "You don't ever do that again." Asuka snarled. She wasn't going to let Rei decide it was okay to die. She wasn't going to let her leave Shinji like her mother had left her. Even if she had been insane, and even if Asuka's hatred towards her was slipping away even as she spoke she would not forgive someone for leaving their loved ones by taking the easy way out.
"You don't, ever, ever, do that again."
Rei nodded slightly. "I will not."
Asuka slumped down by the side of the bed, having now vented her anger.
The Section Two agent was finally getting to his feet again, his nose steel bleeding. He looked accusingly as Asuka, and then caught glance of Yui. The girl was starring him down with those crimson eyes. He knew better than to question her authority. It was obvious that the Commander found her important enough to put a virtual wall of bodies into protecting her. He backed off quietly, closing the door behind him. The agent held his nose tenderly, good thing he was in a hospital.
Inside the hospital room, Rei just looked about her as everyone spoke, they were all concerned over her. Not as a pilot, or the first child, or even the key to instrumentality as SEELE thought of her. But as Rei, nothing more and nothing less.
Shinji was a little worried when she drifted back to sleep, but the EKG kept reading steadily so he had to assume she was just tired. He would have been too if he had just been hit by every positive and negative emotion in the book in a period of only four hours.
"So, what's going to happen to Rei now . . ." Shinji asked nervously.
Yui shrugged. "Nothing."
"Nothing?" Shinji asked, how could you do nothing when somebody had just tried to commit suicide!
"What would you want us to do? If she's really hard set on suicide this proves she could probably carry through with it. Even if we put her in a straight jacket." Yui replied. "Unless you want to leave her sedated and tied up for the rest of her life we'll just have to keep her from wanting to die. Though I'm at a loss for why she would want to. . ." Yui stopped, she wasn't at a complete loss as to why her . . . little sister would do something like this.
The Commander's opinion meant the world to Rei, and she seemed very unsure on how to act now that the Commander no longer had a use for her beyond EVA. 'Gendo we're going to have a talk about this . . .' His apathy had always been his biggest problem, even if when he had meant well he'd never been very good at showing his affection. He'd tried being a good father before the accident but he ended up causing Shinji to cry more often than not as a child.
Shinji nodded sadly, he had pulled a chair up, and was sitting next to Rei just starring at sleeping peacefully.
"They say we can take her home in the morning, Doctor Akagi wants to keep her overnight to be certain they didn't miss anything." Shinji said thoughtfully. "I would, like to um, stay here tonight, if nobody would mind."
Yui took his hand. "I don't think anyone will mind Shinji, I'd like to stay too." Shinji smiled, support from another was welcome at a time like this.
"That's fine."
Asuka moaned as she saw the scene unfold. "Oh, please, stop being so lovey dovey, your supposed to be his mother not his girlfriend, leave that to wondergirl." There was a lot of uncomfortable shifting following those words. 'I really managed to sit in it.' Asuka thought darkly.
Shinji looked nervously at Rei. "Ar-are you sure its ok, I mean, me and. . ."
Yui tightened her grip. "It's fine Shinji, she's not related to you. She's not related to anyone," Yui said, eyes tearing as she thought aloud. "She's totally alone Shinji, she has no real family, that may be, why she did this."
Shinji's eyes started to tear, "I'm sorry."
"For what?", Yui asked.
"For well . . . for thinking of her that way." He lowered his head in shame. "You told me not to think of her like that, like she was my sister or a monster, and here I've been. Afraid of her. And then she did this . . ."
Yui shook her head. "I can't accept your apology Shinji."
"Wha-!" That was something nobody had ever told him, not like that. Asuka had chewed him out for apologizing, and Misato had told him their was no need. But here somebody was refusing it outright.
"Because your apologizing over something you couldn't help at the time. Maybe now you can. You can try to work at it and if you still fail then you can apologize, but not to me." She said.
For Shinji those words were amazingly cryptic, but they sounded sincere and important. He'd have to think on that.
The three of them ended up staying late into the night, sleeping in chairs and trying to keep watch on Rei. Shinji was afraid that if she was left alone she would try to kill herself again. Even this fear though was not enough to keep him awake forever, and now he slept fitfully in a chair by Rei's bedside, her hand had fallen onto his sometime during the night and he unconsciously turned his own palm up to feel the warmth.
Yui snapped awake as the hospital door slowly opened.
Gendo did his best to be quiet, but Yui had always been a light sleeper, and Rei's hearing was acutely sensitive. He didn't seem to notice her observing him through narrowly opened eyes as he stepped up to Rei's bed.
He shook her, roughly but quietly.
"Commande-"
Gendo's gloved hand came up pressing two fingers against his lips.
Rei went silent as Gendo spoke, apparently hoping to avoid waking any of the rooms other occupants. Yui just observed.
"Why did you do that Rei?" He asked, the dead calmness in his voice seemed to betray the turmoil within him. Rei thought for several seconds and then lowered her head ashamed.
"I believed I was . . . unloved." She replied.
"Explain."
"I-I, feel like I was empty and like all the value in my life had been stripped away. Like-like I had no purpose to my existence . . ." Rei's brow furrowed, her mind was working furiously to try and explain things beyond its comprehension. To a degree Rei's psyche could not be classified as human, part of her analytical nature was genetically ingrained, and it was made a bigger handicap by her complete inexperience with emotions.
"I felt, like dying would end the emptiness."
The Commanders gloved hand gripped Rei by the throat and lifted her clear of the hospital bed with startling silence. There was little strain on the Commander, Rei had been made mentally and physically submissive just for such situations as this. "Do not attempt this again Rei, do not attempt to kill yourself. I still have a use for you. The Scenario may be of no more use to my final plans, but it will still serve to defeat the last of the Angels with some modifications. You will live until you die, and if you desire it so much then you can pass away once and for all."
Rei gripped at the hand feebly, she was still feeling weak after her attempt at suicide and much of her muscle tissue was still quite tender making her sore everywhere. "I understand", Rei whispered. She did too well, if the Commander intended to use the original scenario to kill the last of the Angels then Pilot Soryu would still likely be rendered combat ineffective by the 15th and herself by the 16th. If she did not fight the 16th then Shinji would likely be deployed and suffer her fate instead.
It was better that she did it. She could be replaced, and knowing Shinji was safe would make her happy, even if afterwards she would no longer be able to understand what happiness was.
The Commander dropped her just as silently back into the hospital bed. Yui had not moved the entire time. 'Gendo . . . no, don't do this'. Her eyes teared up, she knew Gendo well enough. He was trying to use the scrolls to his advantage. He would stack the deck in his favor now that there was no reason to fulfill a prophecy.
And why? Because he knew this way Yui would be safe, if he did not significantly alter the prophecy then he could predict where Yui could be kept safely and their would be no risk to her. Even if she ended up hating him she would be safe.
Yui continued to listen, eyes closed, as Gendo headed back out the door. He felt him pause next to her, bend down, and softly kiss her forehead. His gloved hand running softly through her hair. He stepped out into the hallway.
"Oh, ah, Commander, is Rei awake?" A familiar voice. Misato . . .
'Misato is the operations director, if anyone can help me with this she can. . .' Yui thought, she still couldn't bring herself to hate Gendo. She would if he carried through with this, but she couldn't accept just yet that he had lost what little humanity he had once held.
"No, the Children and Yui are currently sleeping." There was a rustling of papers.
"What's this?" Misato asked,
"The paperwork for transferring Rei's guardianship. I'm making her your responsibility Major." The Commander replied, "It is obvious that she can no longer be trusted to take care of herself." Yui heard his foot steps once again, growing distant before vanishing entirely.
Misato stepped in, and Yui aloud her eyes to open fully. The Major she could tell was a woman with few ulterior motives. Her company was comforting in an innocent way.
"Oh, your awake Yui." Misato said loudly. Yui placed her fingers on her lips angrily.
"Oh-oh, sorry", Misato replied much more quietly now. She looked over at Rei who was already apparently asleep once more. "How is she doing?" She asked quietly.
"She's well, just tired." Yui replied.
"That's good." Misato decided, "I'll be taking her home to live with me tomorrow, Commanders orders." She told her.
"I heard." Misato blinked.
"I have very good hearing." Yui said by way of explanation.
"Ahhh, well then. I need to be going. I just came to check up on her." Misato whispered. She looked worriedly at Shinji.
"Don't worry, everything is fine for the moments." Yui assured her. The Major nodded before stepping out into the hallway.
Yui looked back to Rei, before whispering. "Did you hear all of that."
Several seconds passed. "Yes." Then another pause. "Why did you not inform the Major that I was feigning unconsciousness?"
"Because, I don't feel like I have the right to intrude on your own actions."
"Even suicide?" Rei asked.
"Even suicide", Yui replied, "Though I would prefer you didn't."
There was another pause. "You do not need to worry about that. I have a purpose to drive me once more."
"Shinji?"
". . ."
Yui smiled. "You don't need to tell me."
"Thank you, but yes, Shinji."
Yui smiled, it was good to know the girl cared. 'If I can, I'm going to make certain you can still care for him when this is all over.' Yui promised herself.
Rei just lay in bed. Thinking of what the future would hold for her. It was . . . to say the least . . . bleak.