(A/N: Don't own, don't know. Please review.)
Raine
Attraction. Something that can hardly be described in one's own words. It isn't something to be taken lightly, nor is it something to spend too much time considering to yourself. It's something that comes from impulse, but something that takes almost unconcious consideration. To be attracted to someone is as mental a decision as it is a natural reaction.
'Ugh,' I thought to myself as I read over what I had just written. 'No wonder I never get anywhere with this. I write about as well as a high school freshmen taken over by the illusion of love for the first time.' I sighed softly as I highlighted what I had just written, and hovered my finger about the delete button on my computer keyboard for a few moments before removing it and allowing the document to remain as it was.
Why I never had the nerve to delete anything I wrote, I didn't know. It was shit, I knew that, but I never wanted to rid myself completely of it. I had often found myself rewriting various differnt stories over and over again, changing things as simple as characters to entire situations, until I just gave up on it completely.
Yet I still wrote. Day after day, I would sit in front of this computer for hours and just write down whatever would come into my mind. I often did get rid of the less important writings, but ones like this... ones that took entirely too much thought and concentration, they were the ones that would always stay. The ones that I would read over and over again, trying to think of the perfect way to continue on.
It hadn't been easy since the decision to move here, however. I was too used to life back at home, back in the city. I had grown up there, born and raised. It was where I had attended all my years of school, from elementary until the end of college.
My college education had ended only a few months earlier. It was now already late October, the air growing colder by the day, the leaves on the trees already nearly completely changed to every color imagineable. The lake that surrounded the small town of Tashmore Lake was no doubt nearly freezing, though it still seemed as beautiful and tempting as it would have during the summer months.
There was more beauty here, I was sure, than there would be throughout any part of the city I had grown up in. New York City, to be exact. The city that never sleeps. It had always seemed more of my home because of that reason than any other. For I was the girl that never slept.
I groaned and pressed in the button that shut off the monitor of my computer, no longer wanting to even look at the half-empty document before me, but not quite ready to finish with it either. I decided my writers-block was to be fixed as simply as possible. I would tend to it by taking a long walk outside, not allowing myself to come home until I had thought up atleast a few of the main characters, and the basic plot.
It was stupid to write something without knowing what it was about, but that was a habit I had come up with too long ago, a habit I knew I would never break, although it was undoubtedly the reason as to why I never finished anything. Why I never got anywhere with the career path I had chosen.
Four years of college wasted. I had gone only because I knew I had to, but looking back, I only saw hgow useless it really was. Sure, the writing classes had helped in small amounts. I had become slightly more patient and had learned a few new styles, but that was nothing I couldn't have learned on my own, or by talking to other writers. And yes, I now could easily get a job at almost any newspaper or magazine I wanted, but that wasn't quite the job I was looking for. Hell, I didn't even know what I was looking for anymore.
And this is what brought me back to thinking of the conversation I had had with my father the night before. He had suggested me going over to the local newspaper building and interviewing for a job there, though I insisted it wasn't something I wanted. I had moved in with him and his new wife only a week earlier, and I knew that it was somehow already beginning to annoy them that I hadn't even bothered with looking for a job yet.
Why I had moved in with them was a question I had yet to answer to myself. My parents had divorced when I was a small child, and my father had remarried soon after, though he and his new wife had never bothered with starting a family of their own. But then again, my father was a bit older than others when I was born, in his late thirties, and my mother in her twenties. His new wife was around his age, and by the time they were together they both agreed it was too late to bother with a family. Neither of them even wanted to, seeing as they had both been married once before and both had children of their own.
Until now, I had resided with my mother and her many boyfriends throughout the years in the city, moving here after college because she had decided I was too old to be staying with her, and that I needed to get out and start a life of my own. Not something I found myself wanting to do. Therefore, I picked up the phone and called my father, and a few weeks later, here I was.
"Raine?" I jumped out of my chair at the sound of my stepmother's voice. I looked over to the entrance of my bedroom, where she stood, smiling over at me with her blue eyes sparkling in their everyday friendly way.
"Oh, hey." I said, laughing silently at myself for jumping the way I had.
"Are you alright?" She questioned in her usual motherly way. "You seem a bit pale." I nodded.
"I'm fine, sorry about that. I just wasn't really expecting anyone to come up here, and you just caught me off guard. That's all." She nodded, smiling more now. She always seemed happier whenever we had a normal conversation. I suppose it was a big deal to her, being married to a man for nearly twenty years and finally forming a good relationship with his one and only child. It wasn't much of a big deal to me, seeing as I'd never had anything against her in the first place, but to each their own, right?
"Anyways, the reason I came up here was to ask if you would like to join your father and myself out to dinner tonight. It seems he's getting farther in this new job than either of us expected, and he wanted to celebrate by taking us both out." I bit my bottom lip nervously, contemplating her suggestion. Going out to dinner wasn't something I would enjoy at the moment, since the only thing I really wanted was to be alone, but at the same time I didn't want to disappoint by turning them down.
"I would love to come, but I don't think tonight is the right time." I answered after only a few moments of thought. I hated letting my parents down, especially my father, but I couldn't see myself getting out of the house and actually having a good time. Especially not tonight.
"Oh, it's fine." Jenna answered quickly. She forced a quick smile towards me, and I smiled back. I had become quite the expert when it came to acting as if everything was alright.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, positive. I'm sure your father won't mind, either. I'll let him know." I nodded slowly, biting on my bottom lip.
"I think I'm going to go out for awhile, though." I added. "Just walk around a little, get to know this place..." She nodded in agreement.
"That sounds like a fine idea. Especially if you're going to go and apply for a job at the newspaper office. You'd definitely need to know the basics as far as getting around goes."
"Yeah..." I allowed my voice to trail off, sighing softly as I remembered my promise to my father before I had even moved here. I had promised him that I'd apply for a job, and a good one, which led to him deciding the best job for me would be to write for the local newspaper. The last job I had ever wanted was to be a Journalist, but it only made sense that as long as I was living under his roof that I'd have to go by his rules and what he asked of me.
Jenna left me alone soon after that, and I found myself walking over to the mirror and gazing in at myself. It seemed like forever since the last time I had bothered looking into a mirror and really paying attention to what I saw, and now I could see very clearly why.
I wasn't anything special, and that seemed to go without saying. I was plain, your everyday, average girl. Dark hair, blue eyes, pale skin. The only make up I ever bothered with wearing was eyeliner. Thick, dark, black.
I grabbed a hoodie off of my bed and ran down the stairs and out the door before Jenna could say anything else to me. The air outside was cooler than I had expected, and presented me with a sudden chill on my skin. I wrapped my arms tighter around myself as I continued my walk down the sandy beach area, looking out over the lake.
I finally managed to come to a spot in which I decided was perfect. I settled down, focusing all of my attention onto the lake. It was a beautiful night, the sun finally setting into the horizon, the sky turning from the light blue shade it had been all day to an almost hot pink color mixed with beautiful shades of orange and even purple, in rare spots.
Why I was attracted to him was something I could not explain to anyone, mostly because I didn't quite understand it myself. He was quiet, strong, beautiful. He never spoke much, but that was okay. When he did speak, he spoke only of words that were true, words of honesty, words of purity. He was amazing, even if the world didn't quite know how to react to his type. But that was alright. He was everything I could have ever wanted, and he was quick to assure me that I was everything he had ever wanted.
The words came to me almost magically, the next paragraph in the story I was determined to somehow finish. Where the inspiration was coming from, I didn't quite know, but that wasn't what was important. What was important was getting back to the house and writing it down before it was gone.
I stood up quickly, too quickly. I fell over almost immediately, something blocking my collapse and holding me up. A pair of strong hands straightened me out, and I found myself meeting the gaze of two deep brown eyes. The eyes were like none I had ever seen before, losing me right away as I found myself unwilling to leave their gaze.
"Are you alright?" The voice was that of a man's, and I found myself nodding slowly, my face turning from it's usual pale color to a shade of light red, realizing I had been staring at him as if I had never seen another living person before in my life.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just... surprised, a little, I guess. Thought I was alone..." He smiled warmly, letting me know it was alright.
"It's fine, I know the feeling. Sorry to scare you like that. I saw you sitting out here all alone, and I was worried maybe you were lost or something... haven't seen you around here before. Sorry to disturb you though." I shook my head.
"No, it's fine. Really." He smiled again.
"Mort Rainey."
"What?"
"My name. I'm Mort Rainey. I live right over there, in that house." He pointed to a random direction, and I followed, spotting the small house just sitting there. I nodded.
"Raine Johnson." I introduced myself. "I just moved in with my father and stepmother... we live a little ways down there." I pointed in the general direction of my home. He nodded.
"It's nice meeting you." Another smile formed on his lips, a smile that appeared to mean the same thoughts I found myself thinking. Yes, this was exactly what I had written about earlier, when struggling through my writer's block. An attraction without any meaning, or any cause. Attraction in it's purest form.