"And so then McGonagall threatened to suspend us, well…actually that was just me. So Hermione had to tell her that we would go home this weekend and tell our parents."

Ron scowled at Hermione.

"I told you no one would blame you! It's always the boy who's the bad one. As if the girl is completely incapable of dragging a boy into the basement while everyone is having tea upstairs!"

She glared at him.

"Hermione," said Harry. "That's a little…a little weird."

"Oh shush up, Harry," she said, hitting Ron. "There are people everywhere at the Burrow. Where else were we—"

"Please don't finish that sentence." Said Harry, looking revolted.

"The shed where we keep the brooms?" asked Ron. Harry feigned throwing up all over the floor of the dormitory.

"Well, Grimmauld place was a lot easier because there were a lot of rooms," said Hermione.

"I really don't want to know anything else!" Harry shouted.

"What about when Mum and Dad went to visit Fred and George and left us alone at the Burrow," asked Ron. "That was kind of a stupid thing to do, wasn't it?"

"We weren't alone," said Hermione. "Ginny was upstairs taking a nap."

"There was that time we went into the attic at Grimmauld Place."

"The study at Grimmauld Place," said Hermione.

"There was that time you hexed Ginny to sleep and came in my room," said Ron.

"SERIOUSLY STOP NOW!"

"Sorry," they both said at the same time.

"Are you two finished? Because I have to tell you about something," he said. Ron was muttering something to himself under his breath, as if trying to remember a number of dates and places.

"Yes?" Asked Hermione.

"Today I had to go in the potions closet—" they both gasped loudly, looking scandalized "—to get some tortoise shell and I found an odd letter on Snape's desk."

Hermione looked interested.

"What did it say?"

"Well…" he trailed off. He had never told Ron and Hermione what he saw in the Pensieve in his fifth year. They wouldn't understand the nickname his father had given Professor Snape. "It was a crossword that Snape cut out of a newspaper. And he had finished it, but on the bottom there was a weird note written in pencil."

"In what?" asked Ron.

"Pencil, Ron. It's a pen you write with, only you can erase it," Hermione explained.

He frowned. "Oh."

"What did it say?"

Harry frowned, wondering if they would believe him if he told them.

"It said…'Dearest Snivellus, that doesn't bother you, does it Professor? Love Lioness'."

Ron looked pained, like he didn't know whether to laugh or ask Harry if this was his idea of a joke.

"Snivellus?" asked Hermione.

"Snape," Harry explained. "It's what my father and Sirius used to call him when they were in school together."

"You're not serious," said Ron finally.

"Yeah," said Harry.

"But…Snape is…" Hermione started.

"Yeah, I know," said Harry. "I couldn't believe it either."

"And that's all it said, was just 'love Lioness'?" Asked Hermione, looking doubtful.

"Do you think it's that new professor?" Asked Ron. "Madam Galadra?"

"Somehow I don't think Madam Galadra is the kind of person to write love notes to Snape," said Harry. "I don't think she's really his type."

"I don't think he's really her type, actually," said Ron. "Snape can't really afford to have a type, can he?"

"Don't be silly, Ronald," said Hermione. "There's someone out there for everybody." She shot him a nasty look. "I wasn't as fortunate as some people."

Ron glared.

"She said 'Lioness', right?" asked Hermione.

"Yeah," said Harry.

"Well…nevermind," she said. Ron narrowed his eyes as he looked at her.

"What?" he demanded.

"Nothing," said Hermione, straightening her skirt. "I mean…you don't think that…erm, well…McGonagall is the Gryffindor head-of-house, and the mascot is a lion…"

"EW!" screeched Ron. Harry shivered.

"No way!" said Harry. "She's like forty years older than him."

"I thought she was married," said Ron. "Didn't they say something about that at the Sorting?"

"Well, Ron, you of all people should know that it's not impossible to have a love affair," said Hermione grumpily.

He wrinkled his nose in disgust.

"I have a good feeling that it wasn't a professor," said Harry.

"Why?" asked Hermione. "Professor Dumbledore always called people 'Professor Sprout', or 'Professor Flitwick'."

"Yeah," he said. "But McGonagall is always calling Snape 'Severus', and Trelawney 'Sybill'."

"Ok, well then that means it could be either one," said Hermione sourly. She sat silently for a moment, staring into nowhere. "So…there's a possibility that it's a Gryffindor then."

"Why on Earth would Snape have an affair with a Gryffindor? He hates all of us," said Ron.

"That's true," said Harry.

"Well…" she trailed off. "Who do we know who could have 'lioness' as a nickname?"

"Hermione, that's like asking 'Who farted?' on a crowded Knight Bus. It could be anybody," said Ron.

Harry suppressed a laugh. Hermione glared at him for the 356,064,445th time that day.

Suddenly, Harry remembered something.

"Didn't Luna have a hat that was shaped like a lion's head?"

Hermione and Ron looked at him for a moment like he was crazy, but slowly, they both started to wonder.

"Luna has always been a little odd, Hermione," said Ron. Hermione nodded a little…

"But surely Luna would have more sense than to…she couldn't possibly…" but even Hermione knew that there was a very good possibility Luna might. She was by far the oddest person they knew.

"Harry," said Ron. "Do you think you'd be able to recognize the handwriting if you saw it again?"

Harry nodded.

"Hermione, you go ask Luna to write down her…address or something, and then bring it back here to show it to Harry!"

"Why do I need to know her address?"

"I don't know," Ron snapped. "Can you think of anything better?"

"Oh!" said Hermione, jumping off of the bed. She disappeared down the staircase.

"I wish she would warn us when she's about to do that," said Ron.

Hermione ran down the stairs and out of the common room. She sprinted down the hallway towards the Great Hall, looking for Luna as she ran past several various rooms. Finally spotting her in the library, she turned sharply and walked inside.

"Luna!" she said, sitting down across from her. "You never gave me the address to that shop in Diagon Alley."

"Oh, yes," said Luna. She put down her book called Minds In Occlumency and fished around in her bag for something to write with.

Hermione appeared in the dormitory a few minutes later, looking smug.

"Well?" said Ron. "Did you get it?"

Hermione shrugged. "Oh, I don't think we're going to need it," she said, smiling in her know-it-all way.

"What do you mean, we're not going to need it?" Asked Ron, scowling at her. "I thought you had an idea!"

"I did, but we're not going to need it," she said, still smiling.

She pulled out the piece of parchment and shoved it under Harry's nose.

"Well?" asked Ron.

"See," she said, pointing at it. Harry was staring at it, looking both dazed and revolted.

"What?" said Ron again, looking annoyed.

"It's written in pencil," said Harry, still staring at it. Ron jumped off his bed and looked over Harry's shoulder.

"Ew," said Ron. "That's…unpleasant and wrong in so many horrible ways." They all stared at the parchment. Hermione was still satisfied with discovering the truth about Luna, but it was starting to fade when she started to register what this meant.

"Well, maybe she isn't dating him," said Hermione hopefully. "Maybe she just has a crush on him or something…"

"How would she know 'Snivellus', though?" said Harry. "I mean, that's not really the sort of thing you go around telling people."

"Well…maybe it accidentally slipped or something," said Ron.

"Ron, your mother calls you 'Ickle Ronniekins'. Is that really the kind of thing you 'accidentally let slip' in casual conversations?" Asked Hermione.

Ron looked angry that Hermione would dare bring that up in front of Harry.

Ginny suddenly appeared at the door, looking pale and out of breath. She had clearly been running for some time.

"RON!" She screamed, taking big breaths of air. "RON! Mum's coming to the school! She knows!"