Disclaimer's waste a writers time...see first chapter for info.

The Cosmic Farce

Chapter three

by GabrielsThoughts

Somewhere in the universe planets are lining up, much as they did in a small-town known as Knothole before something weird an fantastic happened. Like most hero's in small towns the hero always has a girlfriend named Betty, Sally, or Amy. This is Hero's first law of averages, to which almost every comic book, B- movie, and fan fiction adhere. The second law or 'Slayer' law states, if Betty dies then Sally replaces, if Sally dies then Amy shows up . Sidekicks as a general rule are overlooked in such planetary alignments mostly because they will eventually be called to make the ultimate sacrifice. (e.g. see Jason Todd, Linda Danvers) On the few occasions in which an anomaly known as the Veronica occurs and there are two hero's girlfriends present. Odds are something is going to happen to Remove the second girl from the equation. Combined with a freak electrical storm, a planetary alignment, or a twist of fate, and Quantum Mechanics dictates the rest.

"Stop fighting Both of you I can't take it anymore" this little outburst came from Cream, admittedly over looked until this point. "I wish, I wish you would both just disappear! I hate You!" Just then there was a flash of lightning and both Amy and Tails vanished. "OMG! I KILLED THEM. Nobody'll love me anymore cause I'm evil Wahhhhhhhhh!." Cream Cried her little heart out before she rushed out of the house to runaway.

Elsewhere...

'Gah this is so frustrating!' Miles thought. Sure he was pink, but that had nothing to do with his current state of mind. He awoke to find himself strapped to a table with steel bindings. He couldn't see much the light burned his eyes. He could hear amy struggling with what he assumed was a similar table nearby. The restraints released while Miles and Amy made thud sounds as the fell to the floor "what the heck?" he Groaned as he got up and looked around. It was in some sort of Primitive Healing facility.

"Where are we?" Amy asked. Just then a white rabbit, with blue eyes, wearing a lab coat appeared out of nowhere. She had a big smile plastered on her face, which sported a set of very Carnivorous fangs .

"Hey Sam it worked!" She gestured toward the mirror, as if someone was on the other side. The white rabbit was Hopping around With Joy Pun intended she then turned her attention to the two confused mobians "Greetings earth beings, I'm sure your both curious as to what you are doing here."

"No DUH!" Miles spoke as the white rabbit picked a purple booger out of her nose, and wiped it on her lab coat.

" We come from an advanced race, a race so advanced our name cannot be written or spoken. Merely explained in a series of images, that your primitive intellect cannot hope to comprehend. "

"Aren't images that explain dialogue like letters?" Miles asked. he just wanted to be sure he same page as this...Alien life form?

"If it can't be written or spoken then why did you just call the guy in the other room Sam?" Amy pondered the question aloud.

"..." The rabbit was speechless for a moment. "Your level of comprehension is uncanny for a race of primitives."

" Yea ditto, miss..?." Amy left the question hanging for five seconds "Your name please?"

"My name is Trixie, I'll be abducting you this evening. Which one of you wants the anal probe first? almost immediately after she asked tails pointed to Amy.

"Her! Her! Do her first!" the idea of invasive probing didn't really appeal to Miles. He was having enough of an Identity crisis without some alien sticking something up his butt crack "Ow Amy! What you smack me upside the head for?"

"Jackass!"--Amy

"Actually I'm just kidding. I always wanted to say that."--Trixie

"..."--Miles and Amy

"The reason I brought you here is-" Trixie was cut off when he cell phone started ringing. Stopping mid conversation she picked up the phone and placed it to her ear "No, no I would not like to change my service provider. How did you get this number? I'm not interested bye." Tixie hung up the phone as the two dumbstruck mobians (in her opinion) stared in awe.

"This is an Advanced communication device used to speak across great distances it has a built in personal organizer and digital clock- What are you doing?"

Miles and Amy had both pulled out cell phones and dialed Sonic and Knuckles respectively. "Hey Sonic, its me Tails. I need a rescue for me and Amy... No it is not my fault! Can you get Nicole to lock on to this signal and get over here before I'm forced to kill myself."

Amy turned to and spoke to the Trixie as if she were an infant "We call them mobile phones. I'm curious, please tell me, on you planet what's the average IQ?"

A.N. Me fixy some minor problems I noticed Read and review pleeeeeeeeese! or I will bring the wraith of Cream down on you so fast I swear!