A/N:…
Chapter 3: Surprise witnesses
"Court is now in session. Prosecutor…" the Judge said as the court session re-began.
"Thank you, your honour," the lawyer said, and with an almost evil grin on his face continued. "I call Professor Veregun, of the Cerulean Police Forensics lab, to the stand."
Ash and Misty spared each other a nervous glance. A professor?
"Now Professor, you have just finished your inspection of the crime scene, is that correct?"
"Yes indeed," the Professor answered, nodding vigorously.
"Could you tell us what you found in the way of DNA evidence?" the lawyer asked, focusing the last two words on Ash and Misty, who sat there gawping with their mouths fully open.
"Certainly, yes, we found a lock of hair caught on the door frame, so we took it to the lab, and we did DNA tests, and discovered that it belongs to none other than Miss Misty Waterflower!" the Professor said extremely quickly, and sat there for a full minute trying to catch his breath. By that time, Ash was already waiting to question him.
"Now, Mr. Smart-guy, is there any chance of the hair being someone else's hair?" Ash asked.
"No, it was certainly Miss Waterflower's hair, and if you don't mind, my name is Professor Veregun," the Professor answered, slightly annoyed.
"Nobody cares," Ash told him, causing him to become more annoyed. "But who's to say that someone else didn't use her hair, she does get it cut, right?" he asked the whole court, and there was yet another whimpering from the jury.
"Well, yes, I suppose someone could have-" the Professor stuttered.
"No further questions" Ash said, sitting back down.
"Um…" the Curators lawyer said, quite at a loss for witnesses. "Can we please play the security tape of the theft..?" he asked, and a guard played the tape in a video machine and TV which he had wheeled forward. Once the tape had finished, and the lawyer had re-gained his confidence, he said "No further witnesses."
Ash then called his mother up, followed by Brock, Professor Oak, Tracy, May, Max, and even Pikachu, simply to tell the court how now nice she is, and that she would never do anything so terrible as theft. However, none of the jury seemed to care about what any of them had to say(particularly Pikachu who they couldn't understand), and seemed to be believing Misty was guilty again. Ash grew extremely panicky when he had to say "No further witnesses."
"Then in that case-" the Judge started, but then everyone heard what we would recognise as the original pokemon theme tune.
"Oops, sorry, that's me," Ash said, then pulled out the source of the noise, his mobile phone, and answered it.
"You're here? That's perfect! Perfect timing! Ok, gotta go, see you in a second," Ash said, hanging up.
"Your honour, I would like to call my first surprise witness!" Ash said excitedly, though why, no-one could tell.
"You have surprise witnesses? Very well, call him in," the Judge answered.
"Thank you. I would like to call Santa Claus to the stand!" Ash half-yelled, and his announcement caused great interest in the whole court, as the big fat man, Santa himself, stepped into the stand.
"I object!" the Curator's lawyer yelled, standing up pointing his arm in the air.
"On what grounds?" the Judge asked, almost laughing at the sudden twist.
"On the grounds that Santa isn't real!" he cried exasperatedly, and the Judge turned to Santa.
"Sir, are you real?" he asked, now completely unable to hide his grin.
"I should hope not!" Santa answered, chuckling.
"Very well. Objection overruled!" the Judge announced, banging his new purple-with-yellow-stripes(or was it yellow-with-purple-stripes?) mallet.
"Thank you" Ash said, then turned back to Santa.
"Now, Santa, can you tell us of the time when Misty, Brock and I helped you at the north pole?" Ash asked.
"Certainly," Santa said, and then went on to explain how the trio had once saved him from Team Rocket.
"Thank you, Santa. Now, if I have been correctly informed, you should be able to tell us exactly where Misty was at the time of the theft, and what she was doing, is that right?" Ash asked.
"No, I'm sorry, I know where you got that information, but listen to the song more closely, He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake. I only know when you're awake, its when you're asleep that I can see you," Santa answered sadly.
By this time, the Curator and his lawyer were both banging their heads on their desk over the childishness of the trial, and the lawyer didn't even hear at first when the Judge told him he could ask questions.
"Um…has Misty ever been on "the naughty list"?" he asked eventually.
"Nope. Misty's always been a good little girl," Santa answered, causing Misty to blush. "On the nice list since day one, unlike you!" he added, wagging his finger at the lawyer.
"Yes, well," he said, sweating, and pulling at his collar. "That is irrelevant to this trial, no further questions," he said quickly, wanting to get away.
"Very well," the Judge said smiling, as Santa left. "Any more surprise witnesses?" he asked Ash, hoping that there would be, for he had started enjoying the trial.
"Yes! I call myself to the stand!" he said, and ran over to take the oath.
"I object, you cant call yourself!" the lawyer said, positively pouting.
"I'm going to allow this," the Judge said with another smile.
"Thank you," Ash said again, then stood up suddenly.
"Now, how long have you known Misty?" Ash asked himself, and he quickly sat down to answer. Misty was now angrily embarrassed.
"Seven years, ever since I started my pokemon journey," he answered himself and stood up again. The Judge had now abandoned all attempt at hiding his laughter, and was roaring with it.
Ash continued to interview himself for a few minutes, by the end of which, the only one in the court who did not think him mad was, not his girlfriend, not his best friend and partner, not his own Mother, but the Judge.
"No-no questions," the Curators lawyer said, with a raised eyebrow at Ash, who sat down next to Misty again. He thought he had made a good impression, but upon seeing Misty's and the jury's faces, he began to panic.
"Well, if that's all, we will now take a 30-" the Judge began, wiping a tear from his eye, but he was interrupted by Ash.
"I'd like to call for a recess!" Ash yelled, standing up.
The Judge smiled down at him for a moment before saying "Granted" and banging his mallet.
"This trial shall continue tomorrow at 3pm. Court dismissed" he said, banging his mallet again.
"I object!" the lawyer yelled yet again.
"Sir, you cannot object unless the trial is actually on," the Judge said, causing the lawyer to storm out.
A/N: There we go, told you Bored2tears! Now I personally think that this is the funniest chapter out of all four that there are, or should I say, will be, how about you?