Disclaimer: I don't own any of the X-Men, or How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria? From the Sound of Music. My friend helped me with this one, but I mainly wrote it...
How Do You Solve Problems Like Allison and Leah?
Sung to: How Do You Solve A Problem Like Maria?
Scott: (speaking)Well, Professor Xavier. . .I hope this new infraction ends whatever doubts you may still have about Allison and Leah's future here.
Wolverine: I always try to keep faith in my doubts, Cyclops. After all, the wool of a black sheep is just as warm.
Cyclops: We are not talking about sheep, black or white, Wolverine. Of all the candidates for the X-Men, Allison and Leah are the least--
Xavier: Children, children. We were speculating about the qualifications of our students. You were trying to help me by expressing opposite points of view. Tell me, Jean what do you think of Allison and Leah?
Jean: They are wonderful girls, some of the time.
Xavier: Rouge?
Rouge: It's very easy to like Allison and Leah. . .except when it's difficult.
Xavier: Gambit, what do you think?
Gambit: Oh, I think they're cool, but dey always seem to be in trouble, don't they?
Cyclops: Exactly what I say.
(singing) they climb a tree and scrape a knee
X Suits have a tear
Emma: They always call Cyclops an ass
And they never go to bed
Cyclops: And instead of paying attention
they read comic books instead
Storm: I even heard them scheming in the hallway!
Storm: They're always late for classes
Gambit: But their penitence is real
Emma: They're always late for everything
Wolverine: Except for every meal
Cyclops: I hate to have to say it
But I very firmly feel
They are not an asset to the X-Men
Gambit: I'd like to say a word in their behalf
Xavier: Yes Gambit?
Gambit: they make me laugh.
Xavier: How do you solve problems like Allison and Leah?
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
How do you find words that mean Allison and Leah?
Jean: Flibbertijibbets!
Rouge: Will-o'-the wisps!
Emma: Clowns!
Xavier: Many a thing you know you'd like to tell them
Many a thing they ought to understand
Cyclops: But how do you make them stay
And listen to all you say?
Wolverine: How do you keep a wave upon the sand?
All: Oh, how do you solve problems like Allison and Leah?
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?
Jean: When I'm with them I'm confused
Out of focus and bemused
And I never know exactly where I am
Storm: Unpredictable as weather
They're as flighty as a feather
Rouge: They're darlings!
Scott: They're demons!
Jean: They're lambs!
Scott: they'd outpester any pest
Drive a hornet from its nest
Kurt: They could throw a whirling dervish out of whirl
Gambit: they are gentle!
Scott: they are wild!
Emma: they're a riddle!
Jean: they're mild!
Scott: They're a headache!
Gambit: They're angels!
Wolverine: They're girls!
Xavier: How do you solve problems like Allison and Leah?
Wolverine: How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?
Gambit: How do you find words that mean Allison and Leah?
Jean: Flibbertijibbets!
Rouge: Will-o'-the wisps!
Emma: Clowns!
Xavier: Many a thing you know you'd like to tell them
Many a thing they ought to understand
Cyclops: But how do you make them stay
And listen to all you say
Wolverine: How do you keep a wave upon the sand
All: Oh, how do you solve problems like Allison and Leah?
the front doors both slam open and Allison and Leah run in
Leah: come on! We're gonna be late!
Allison: Wait our class is down that hallway! Points toward the hallway on the opposite side of where they were going
Leah: Right!
they both kinda skid on the floor as they change directions
Alison: stops, seeing the X-Men ummm…hi…
Leah: Stops …shitshit…ummm…we're gonna just go to class now…
Allison: …yeah…
they look at each other then walk to class and you can hear them run once they're out of sight
All: How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?