Disclaimer: I do not own FFVII or any of its characters/items/locations. It all belongs to the gods at SquareEnix/Square Soft. I am not making any money off of this.
Authors notes: This was originally going to be part of 'All I Want for Christmas' but then I though "naaaah," and so I left it out but I've brought it back! Also, I have my response to the flame! Because as I have said in stories past "you write a flame and I will post it!" so it's posted at the end of the story (Along with the response to it.).
Let's have some Holiday cheer, eh?
Three Wise Men
"Did you know there are some watches worth Sixty-thousand gil?"
Sephiroth frowned and glanced down at the top of Clouds head. "Yes… why?" Silence and Sephiroth resumed rubbing Cloud's back, attempting to rub out a kink left in from the previous night's events.
"I tried to get you one," Cloud muttered, raising his head from Sephiroth's chest to meet those jade eyes.
"And?"
"And I never want to go back to a watch store for the rest of my life." That said, Cloud snuggled back into the General's warmth and closed his eyes, fully intent on falling asleep while his back was massaged.
Sephiroth didn't disappoint, he let his head fall back on the pillow and stared up at the ceiling, mind suddenly filled with all the images that could have possibly happened at said store.
Three days later…
Sephiroth walked into the watch shop that Cloud had told him about and approached the counter, ignoring the shimmering glass and ticking sounds that filled the store. He bit the inside of his cheek as the man behind the counter gave him a withering glare before turning back to his business but then quickly turn around and smiled warmly at the General.
"General Sephiroth! How may I assist one such as yourself?" The man purred; his eyes glinting in the light of the store.
"A blonde teenager was in here a few days ago. Spiky hair, blue eyes, might have been stuttering. Do you know what he was looking at?" Sephiroth asked without blinking and the man looked astonished before quickly nodding and fleeing over to the window and just as quickly returned to where Sephiroth stood and gave the silver-haired man the watch with shaking hands.
"Finest work in all of Midgar!" The watch man started. "It has the time of day, month, year and even leap year! It's wound thus not needing batteries and is light weight as I'm sure you can tell!" The watch man gushed, nearly falling over himself to show Sephiroth everything. "It also includes-"
"How much?" Sephiroth asked, turning the watch over in his hands, examining it with a critical eye.
The interruption caught the man off guard but he quickly composed himself and smiled sweetly. "For the General of Shinra, three-thousand Gil would suffice." Jade green eyes snapped up to the watch man and Neil swallowed, his mouth suddenly going dry.
"Three-thousand? What of the sixty-thousand gil price tag not three days ago?"
The watch man froze, eyes slowly widening and felt himself begin to sweat as the greatest General of all time stared at him. "S-sixty-thousand… Sir? W-who said sixty-thousand?"
"Why, my companion said so." Sephiroth smiled. It wasn't a kind smile, or a vicious smile. It was a smile of 'crawl back into the earth before I stomp you into it' kind of smile and the man was no fool.
"T-t-the blonde is your-"
"Yes."
Neil gripped the store table and swooned, feeling his head spin as he realised what he had done. He had been cruel, curt and had insulted the boy. In other words he had insulted the General Sephiroth. "Oh my God." Neil whispered and nearly fainted as Sephiroth placed the watch serenely back on the counter before turning his jade green eyes on him.
"If I find out that he is treated in any such was as he was before, heads will role."
Giving Neil one last glance, Sephiroth turned on his heel and left the store. Leaving the shop owner to slump against the counter and shakily reach for the nearest phone. He dialled in a number and felt the sweat on the back of his neck cool even as the other side picked up.
"Mary's jewellery store. How may I help you?"
"Mary?" Neil croaked into the mouth piece, sliding to the floor behind the counter.
"Neil? My god you sound horrible! What happened?"
"Mary I-" Neil was interrupted by the sound of the door opening and he stood on shaky legs, feeling the fear drain from his being as he realised that General Sephiroth hadn't returned for more. Instead, he watched as a man with flaming red hair, goggles on his head and scars underneath both eyes swagger towards him. It was moments like these that Neil started to feel the sweat drip down the back of his neck and into his shirt. "Can I help you Sir?" He asked, hanging the phone up and smiling as if he just hadn't had his life threatened.
The red haired man stared at him before a curl appeared on the man's lips and Neil suppressed the shiver that raced down his spine.
"Yeah," Glancing around lazily, Reno smirked. "I was looking for a watch."
"Oh?" Neil asked, repressing the urge to wipe his sweaty forehead. "And what kind of watch were you looking for Sir?"
"Ohhh, I don't know." Reno replied, tilting his head and trailing his fingers across the watch still lying on the counter. "I was looking for one that was quite… expensive."
Neil his tongue to hold back the whimper that threatened to break free. "Would this be for a friend?"
Reno paused and lifted his head, leaning closer to the man until he was only a hair's breath away. "A very special friend."
"B-blonde?" Neil asked, already seeing his life flash before his eyes as he suddenly realised who this man was. "Y-you're a Turk?"
Reno purred, blue eyes shining in the stores light. "Right on both questions, I'm amazed."
"A-and i-if I ever make him u-uncomfortable a-again y-you'll p-pay a visit?"
Grinning viciously now, Reno nodded his head. "I'm sure a home visit would be more… reasonable, don't you think?"
Nodding mutely, Neil watched as the Turk backed up, keeping an eye on him before turning and leaving the store.
"Oh sweet Mary and Joseph." Neil whispered, reconsidering his job, his life and current situation. First General Sephiroth comes in, then a Turk, a TURK! All in the sake of that blonde- His thoughts were interrupted as the door opened and in stalked a dark haired man, covered in blood and wearing a giant seven-foot long sword.
Without waiting, the man approached him and stared at him with the most oddly coloured mako blue eyes he had ever seen. "A friend of mine came in on Christmas Eve and was ask-"
"TAKE THE WATCH!"
Zack jumped back and caught the watch as it flew directly at him. He opened his mouth to say something else but crushed that thought as the shop clerk ran screaming past him, out of the shop and down the street. Blinking at the trail of destruction the man had made in his path, Zack pocketed the watch and started heading home. He really should know better then to use a ketchup bottle as a baseball, and should probably have his head examined for using his buster sword as a bat. Grinning, and ignoring the way people stepped around him, he couldn't wait for the look on Cloud's face when he got home.
End.
A/N: Yeaaah, I know there was no smut but I think it was atOmicSquid that wanted Reno to pay Neil a visit. So, here you go atOmicSquid! Birdie: I find that really cute singing animals usually work well on mothers! Regardless of the season! As for everybody else who responded, I thank you all surviving the fluff and living to see another day! (Or should I say chapter?)
Ahhhh! Gather around fanboys and fangirls! It's time for a roastin'!
(please note that all quotes begin with a " and end with a ")
The Flamer 'Trixie' wrote:
"WTF!
My friend linked me this and said I would say that. Damn was she right!
You have taken Cloud and turned him into someone that is no longer Cloud.
You have completely ruined what SE has created to fill your odd fantasy of him being some cute mother fucking uke
Uke or Seme, whatever you make him, ukes shouldn't be chicks with dicks. In fact, chicks have more balls then your Cloud Strife. A fucking kitten has more cock then this little cock sucking brat does.
It doesn't matter if you see him being this way, he wasn't. He is totally and utterly OOC to the point he is no longer the Cloud I like. Any mother fucker that reviews this shit, and says they like it, plainly doesn't seem to like Cloud Strife for who he really is.
I am totally and utterly fucking disgusted by this shit. How the hell are you getting so many reviews with such horrible characterization? Do us a favourite and one: stop writing cloud like a fucking drunk ass low life that goes I-I-I-I-I fu-fuck m-m---m-m-m-m-mmmm-mm---mmy a-aasssss and make him more right, or go right your own characters.
Shocking you haven't got MST yet."
Response to the Flamer 'Trixie':
First off, MERRY CHIRSTMAS! Second of all, I realise that Cloud is very OOC in my stories but you are taking this whole thing waaaay to seriously! Listen, one of the basic points of fanfiction is seeing the characters in different situations, with different people and different emotions!
"It doesn't matter if you see him being this way, he wasn't. He is totally and utterly OOC to the point he is no longer the Cloud I like. Any mother fucker that reviews this shit, and says they like it, plainly doesn't seem to like Cloud Strife for who he really is."
Very interesting…
"He is totally and utterly OOC to the point he is no longer the Cloud I like."
Everybody has different versions of Cloud. I just happen to like him, as you said: "being some cute mother fucking uke" and probably other people like him that way but I don't know how other people think nor will I force them to think the way I do. Another point is that Cloud isn't the way YOU see him. I don't care how you see him nor will I apologise for my views.
"Any mother fucker that reviews this shit, and says they like it, plainly doesn't seem to like Cloud Strife for who he really is."
It is the reviews of other people! Just because you don't like the story and aren't happy doesn't mean you have to throw a temper tantrum and drag the reviewers in it as well.
I did not force you to click on my story. I did not hold a gun to your head and demand that you read my story. And I certainly did not order you to review. It was YOUR choice! Not mine! YOURS! I gave ample warning that there was sap and uber-fluff in this story and if YOU don't like the way I write Cloud, then write your own IC Cloud.
"I am totally and utterly fucking disgusted by this shit."
I want you to listen very carefully: I Don't Care. I don't care if you're "totally and utterly fucking disgusted by this shit". The reason I bother responding to flames is because I have always given ample warning and if you're clicking on a fanfic, FANFIC (a.k.a stories written by FANS. Not ACTUAL people who work for SquareEnix/Square Soft) then what exactly makes you believe you will have an in character Cloud? Nay, ANYONE in character period? If you want someone IC play the game or watch the movie.
Finally:
"I am totally and utterly fucking disgusted by this shit. How the hell are you getting so many reviews with such horrible characterization? Do us a favourite and one: stop writing cloud like a fucking drunk ass low life that goes I-I-I-I-I fu-fuck m-m---m-m-m-m-mmmm-mm---mmy a-aasssss and make him more right, or go right your own characters."
I honestly don't know why I'm getting so many reviews with how you say "horrible characterization", but I do know that people like the way I write and I'm not gonna stop! Although I do admit I wonder what you mean by "a fucking drunk ass low life" when I have never, EVER written Cloud as a "low life".
For the last time: Unless you are the creator of FFVII or you work for SquareEnix/Square Soft there is no such thing as 'right' in the world of fanfiction because the only "right" is in the head of the developers! I've read stories where they've actually gotten damn close but not "right"! But I am not them and I write how I see Cloud. He's not the most stable person to begin with character wise.
As for being MST: BakaNeko MSTed a different story of mine called "Heat". It's quite funny actually!
There is one last thing that that strikes me as odd, are you 'Trixie' more angry that I wrote Cloud as being a stuttering "chick with a dick" or are you just unhappy that I wrote Cloud being involved with men instead of women? If that's the case, I gave warnings to that as well.
I will say this for the last time: It was YOUR choice to read this and I did NOT force you to read it.