Remember Who You Are

By: Hitokiri Musei

Rated: K+

Summary: Short one-shot. After Tomoe's death, Kenshin wonders if he should even go on living.

Inspired by Bryan Adams's 'Sound the Bugle.' I don't think that I can put the lyrics in here, but the song is very good, look up the lyrics, and/or ask me if you want to see them. I don't own Rurouni Kenshin or 'Sound the Bugle', of which I use one line in this fic.

"But I…I…"

A flash. My eyes were closed, yet I could still feel the warm blood sliding down my face, the whisper of my hair as it slid across my skin, the gentle touch of cherry petals as they fell around me like a rain of blood.

And then, soft hand covered my closed eyes, their touch calming me. The voice that spoke was just as gentle, and the smell of white plums surrounded me. 'You could have lived like this, if you hadn't picked up a sword. You'd be happy with some land and seeds to plant.'

I put my hands up, opening my eyes and touching the hands covering my face. When she spoke next, I spoke with her, and our voices became one. 'Now that we have the time…'

There was no one there. I turned, looking for the one who had spoken to me. Something called my senses and I turned. As I did, I saw the cross, and my eyes widened. A cross, just like the ones I had built when I was young, with Tomoe's scarf wrapped around it.

"T…Tomoe…" I watched it silently. "I…I'll…I'll protect you…."

There was another flash, and then the familiar feel of my blade slicing through flesh came to me. My eyes were still squeezed tightly closed, and then the scent made me open my eyes. Black hair and a white kimono met my sights. 'N…No…'

"TOMOE!"

I rocked the still form of Tomoe, tears still tracing paths down my cheeks and falling to rest in her ebony colored hair. I couldn't stop the sobs that were escaping me, and I made no more attempt to. Blood still trickled down my face from the bleeding cross that was carved into my cheek, but I paid it no mind.

Tomoe's body was slowly beginning to stiffen and grow cold, yet still I sat there in the snow, holding her close to me in a desperate attempt to find comfort. None was brought to me, and I continued to sob with no abandon.

'What have I done?' I thought, raising my bloodshot eyes to the snowy sky. The one was still aching, and I was barely able to see out of it. 'I should be the one dead, not Tomoe… Not my beloved…'

I looked back down to Tomoe's still face, running a finger along the curve of her jaw. 'She…she told me to live… But…I have nothing...nothing left…Just a broken heart…'

I slowly pushed myself to my feet, lifting Tomoe with me. On frozen feet I had trouble staying upright, but I managed. I moved forward, holding Tomoe against me as I moved through the snow covering the ground.

Time passed slowly, and I soon forgot where I was, what I was doing, or what I was holding. I looked down many times to see what it was, and the sight of Tomoe's serene face snapped me back into reality. My hold on consciousness was thin, my wounds and exhaustion, the cold and the elements slowly wearing me down. I was about ready to give up on the fight to stay on my feet, nothing but my will kept me standing.

Again I found myself forgetting why I was walking, where I was going. I suddenly tripped, falling full length in the snow. For a moment I was stunned, I couldn't do more than just lay there. I looked to the side, running my tear-swollen eyes over Tomoe's face. I felt emotions choking me once again, but I had no more tears to cry.

I felt my body relaxing, giving into the tired feeling that was sweeping through me. Although it was cold, I didn't seem to notice it. I felt almost warm, if it could be called that. I sighed, closing my eyes and giving into the need to rest. My body relaxed more, and suddenly I heard a call.

My eyes cracked open faintly, and I looked around. I saw nothing, but the call came again. This time I placed the voice to a name. 'Katsura-san…'

I closed my eyes. I had to be dreaming, there was no way Katsura would be out here, not at this time. I did hear his words though. 'Kenshin! Kenshin, get up! You can't just give up!'

'Go away…' I thought groggily. 'I don't care…'

His voice faded, and I smiled, sinking back into my state of peace. I had nothing left, why should I even get up? I could just lay there; let the storm take me away… I could be with Tomoe again; I could be free of everything I had done… If I just let go of everything, right here…

'Kenshin…'

That soft voice brought me out of the fog that was slowly surrounding my brain. My eyes fluttered open, and I stared unseeingly into Tomoe's face. 'T-Tomoe?'

'Kenshin…'

I started to close my eyes again. I was hearing things again, Tomoe was dead. Better just to let go of what little life remained in my body…

'Get up Kenshin…'

'Why? What's the point? Just leave me here, let me die…'

'No Kenshin. You can't forget who you are, what you're doing in this world. Don't give up…'

'I don't care anymore… I'm too tired; I just want to sleep…'

'If you lose yourself, your courage soon will follow. Be strong, remember who you are…'

I felt my eyes open, and I saw Tomoe's smiling face in front of me, and a hand stretched down to me. 'But why?'

'You are an important person; you are fighting for something in this war. You are fighting for the freedom of Japan, for the things that you believe in. If nothing else, that is worth fighting for, my love. Now get up.'

I slowly put up a hand, placing it in her slender one. 'But Tomoe, without you…'

'You will be fine anata.' She touched my face as she helped me to stand. 'You are strong, and I will always be here. I will always be watching over you, making sure that you are never alone.'

The snow swirled, and she was swept away by the winds whipping around me. I stared at the place she was a moment before, and then looked down at her body lying still on the snow. 'I…I won't give up.'

I lifted Tomoe into my arms again, strength flowing through my limbs as I walked forward. 'I will never give up. I will live on, Tomoe, in your memory. And I… I will never… never again… kill. For you.'

I randomly got the insperation for this while listening to the song, so I decided to post it. Hope you like it, and please review!