"Oxymorons!"

ProRodeoCowgirl

Alias Smith and Jones/Pirates of the Caribbean crossover

Disclaimer: I do not own anything in this story except for any plot ideas you do not recognize. Any dates/places are approximate and probably not accurate!

A/N: Guys, how about some reviews? Do you hate it? Do you love it? Let me know! 

Chapter 2

--------------------------------------

PORTERSVILLE, WYOMING

December 20, 1768

--------------------------------------

Jack Sparrow sauntered lazily up through the peaceul streets of Portersville. He sighed contentedly and grinned, flashing glints of gold at the young ladies that lined the sidewalks. This was the life…he hadn't given Will much credit for this idea, but since they had gotten here, Jack had to admit that Will had been right (heaven forbid the whelp ever know!). It was about a few months ago, that he and Will Turner had really gotten into some trouble ransacking ships in the West Indies, especially around Port Royal. That damn Navy had recently gotten a lot tougher and smarter in their efforts to shut down the pirate empire (either that, or they had finally fired that idiot Norrington; one or the other!)and now Jack's entire home waters had been infested with ships-of-the-line and frigates just begging for a chance to blow the Black Pearl into oblivion and string up the notorious pirates. What with the price on Jack and Will's head, it was no wonder…$10,000 apiece, dead or alive! Fortunately, Elizabeth Swann, the daughter of Port Royals' governor, had been kidnapped by a gang of gunslinging outlaws when she had been visiting a friend in the Americas. Although Will, her lifetime lover, hadn't exactly taken this news as "fortunate," Jack had managed to convince him that this could work to their advantage…Jack's plan: appeal to the Governor for amnesty if they would rescue Elizabeth. The Governor had hesitated, as was expected, but with just the right amount of coddling and annoying, Jack's silver tongue (surprisingly) came through and the Governor agreed to the deal. Will and Jack had both been delighted, and celebrated by drinking rum all night – for what good was amnesty without a little rum? – but when they were summoned to the Governor's office the next morning, their bubble was burst (or at least, Jack's was). Officials had received news about the band that had kidnapped Elizabeth: it was known as the Devil's Hole Gang, and their hideout was based in Wyoming! Jack hadn't wanted to go ("Hell, I'd rather take the Navy than have to ride a damn horse's arse all the way from here to Wyoming!") but Will convinced him otherwise, saying that they had lots of rum and gold and pretty ladies, plus they needed a vacation from swashbuckling. So, grudgingly, Jack had yeilded to the plan. They had put ashore a month later in a small town near the mouth of the El Paso river; there they had bought provisions and directions – for the barman in the local cantina was exceedingly distrustful and very much a mercenary ("I like that guy! Good man," Jack commented after considerably lightening Will's money purse to pay him). Armed with these commodities, the two pirates set out north on the backs of two fine looking, fast, sleek, and very rough, bay horses. Though the trip had not been quite what they called comfortable, they made good time; with no hinderance, they found themselves in the small town of Portersville, Wyoming, within three weeks of disembarking from the ship. According to Will – who had been stopping at every sherriff's office along the way to make sure they were on the right track – the Devil's Hole Gang typically preferred the surrounding mountainous territory around Portersville. Jack was perfectly happy to let him take control of finding out exactly where the gang was held up; meanwhile, Jack himself would just wander around and take advantage of the fresh air, frisky women, and rank saloons, which, he reluctantly had to admit, served considerable quality liquids that could have easily outdone Tortuga's finest brew if put to the test. All in all, Jack conceeded as he strolled down the walk, Portersville wasn't that bad of a place!

SCREECH!

'That is if you don't count having to dodge Territorial Stage coaches hurtling into the station every time the tumbleweeds blow by!' Jack thought grumpily as he picked himself up from the middle of the town square, having barely flung himself out of the way of one of the monsters-on-wheels. Jack straightened up flippantly and considered for a moment going over to tell the crazy driver just exactly what he thought about it. After all, he could have knocked out Jack's gold tooth! He swaggered in a ticked-off manner over to the stagecoach door and was just about to let the driver have it when the door opened and a tall, burly man stepped out. The first thing Jack noticed was the Big Iron resting softly but menacingly on his hip. The second thing Jack noticed was that the man didn't seem to like him. At all.

"I believe you're in my way, mister," he said slowly, making sure that Jack didn't miss a word.

Jack sucked in a breath inwardly. Even in his slightly intoxicated state he could tell this was nobody to be messing with. He looked the man up and down, gauging how far he could push him without really loosing a gold tooth. The man's quiet, dangerous attitude reminded Jack strongly of former Captain Barbossa.

"Really now? Well mate, I don't know about that…it seems to me that I was standing here first before you stepped out of that infernal buggy, so actually, you are the one whose is in my way" he tested confidentally, smiling his trade mark mischievous smile.

The man's eyes narrowed. Before Jack could move he had reared back and socked Jack a whopper left hook in the face. For the second time in five minutes, Jack tumpled over into the dirt.

'Apparently, I pushed him too far!' Jack thought as he shook his head to clear it. The man leered down at him and growled menacingly,

"Next time you cross my path, mate, we'll settle this in the middle of the street, not on the sidewalk!"

He spat on the ground front of Jack. Jack wrinkled his nose in disgust and looked up just in time to see the man stomp off towards a saloon with a big, red, shot up sign hanging over it ("The SixGun Saloon…Come In and Get Loaded!"). He stood up and dusted himself off, not noticing the disbelieving stares coming from all the townspeople.

"Not very nice mannered! Bet he's a eunich," Jack muttered darkly to himself, ashamed at being put down in front of nearly everyone in Portersville.

He swung around and was about to saunter off towards the hotel when an excited voice reached his ears. He turned around jauntily to see Will Turner running towards him from the sherriff's office. Will reached him quickly, his face lit up and a rolled up scrap of paper clutched in his hand; he was about to tell Jack the news he'd found out when he noticed the people staring and Jack's dusty clothing. His face darkened and his mouth got thin. He asked expectantly,

"Jack, what happened this time?"

Jack threw up his hands and swore.

"Why do you always look at me like that, Will? It's almost like you don't trust me… As it were," he continued, not meeting Will's glare, "I happened to get into a fight with this big ugly gunslinger…"

"You WHAT?" Will exclaimed angrily. "We haven't been here for two days, and you've allready managed to get yourself into a fight with a gunslinger?"

"It wasn't entirely my fault…I was almost a nearly innocent bystander!" Jack insisted innocently.

Will began to fume. Jack could see the boiler level beginning to rise, so he grabbed Will's arm, steered him towards the hotel, and said hastily,

"Why don't we just forget about this little incident and mosey over to the hotel, where we can have a nice drink of whiskey and you can tell me whatever it is you've found out from the Sherrif!"