Warning, this story is very random and will contain underpants, bananas, glasses, tv, China, psp, cake, calendar, hair, eggs, pegs, federal agents, quick un picks and a dancing sock, so please do not be afraid.

Title: Harry Potter and the sock master New York

Author Cordy (on draco4xtina (on This is about Harry Potter and the weirdest day in summer of his life. This story is very random and will contain underpants, bananas, glasses, tv, China, psp, cake, calendar, hair, eggs, pegs, federal agents, quick un picks and a dancing sock, so please do not be afraid.

A/N I would love any review on this story even flames, bring em on brother, woo hoo smiles sweetly no I'm not crazy. Lol just review please! BTW this is an AU and characters are very OOC.

Disclaimer: I don't own any character you recognise, nor do I own anything you recognise at all, if I did would I be writing this? Well yes I would probably but that is beside the point, okay yes I'll get on with the story now…

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The day was bright and shiny and Harry Potter opened his eyes to find the light blinding him. He was fully prepared for the day of torture the Dursleys would no doubt have ready for him and he trudged down the stairs to make their breakfast of eggs and toast. When he stepped into the kitchen he knew something wasn't right, his uncle smiled at him and his aunt greeted him in a PLEASANT manner. If that wasn't scary enough, his cousin was already at the stove making breakfast FOR him not the other way around. He decided right away to make use of this strange situation and he asked his uncle a question he would have never dared to ask on a normal day.

"Uncle Vernon," he started, "I was wondering if I could have a couple of pairs of new socks?" His uncle looked at him with a look that clearly showed his sadness that this could not happen as he said "Sorry Harry but we are all going to visit some old family friends today, but maybe tomorrow." Harry just stared at his uncle, he had only heard the first word of that statement, sorry. It kept repeating in his mind and he finally noticed his uncle trying to get his attention when his uncles arm started waving frantically in front of his face.

"Sorry, I blanked out, what did you say?" And his uncle repeated, word for word what he had told Harry before. Harry then flipped his messy black hair over his shoulder and said, "In that case can I have a haircut before we go, I mean I look like a girl!" His aunt immediately agreed and got out her scissors, she then cut his hair so fast you would think she had used a wand, what shocked him was that it actually looked good. He then picked up his plate of chocolate cake and a bunch of bananas which was his breakfast and took them into the lounge where he turned on the TV. Big brother came on, the Australian version and it was game time. Gretel Koleen (sp?) told them to remove their frypans and Harry in a blonde moment thought she was talking to him so he grumbled, said fine and took his off.

He looked at the calendar and realised that that it was pig kicking day, or kik'n ham day as the li'l uns liked to call it. He ran outside and kicked the nearest pig, which just so happened to be Dudley.

He then went over to the clothesline where he removed his underwear and hung them on the line though he was careful not to look them directly in the eye as he was sure that Draco cursed them the last time harry stole his Just Juice.

His glasses were placed on his face by his aunt as she got him ready to go, he was still confused about the whole niceness thing but he decided to just go along with it. He threw Dudley's PSP at him to get his attention and he asked where they were going, Dudley just replied with a shrug of his shoulders. Harry found his uncle already sitting in the families aeroplane and they all flew to china to see the 'family friends'. When they got to China several federal agents who inquired about their reasons for being in China met them. "Visiting," was the only response Uncle Vernon gave but it was apparently enough because it was accepted without question. The federal agents then went off to question some Australian's about a rogue banana they apparently had in their possession.

Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia grabbed everybody's luggage and they hired a cab to take them to 1245674 Quaffle St.

When they arrived at 1245674 Quaffle St, an old lady who had a strange resemblance to Aunt Marge appeared and hurried them all inside. "Hello Dudley and … who's this?" she asked while pointing at Harry. "Oh this is my nephew Harry Potter" Aunt Petunia said. "Ha-Harry P-P-Potter" The lady stuttered, "I am Merope Riddle."

"No bloody way, are you Toms mother?" Harry asked her and she nodded. "Are you a witch?" he continued and she nodded again. He heard his family's gasps of surprise and shock and he smirked. "Is Voldie-poo home then?" and she once again nodded. Without saying anything else he ran indoors with everyone following.

Harry ran into the lounge where Tom Riddle sat staring at a sock in utter fascination, "Hello Tom" he said with a smirk. Tom stood up finally redirecting his gaze from the sock to Harry "Lets do this thang" Tom said and Harry quirked an eyebrow as Tom pulled out a large wooden peg. "No wands, just muggle objects" Tom stated and he started towards Harry with his peg. Harry yanked out a large quick un pick from his pocket "I'll kill you with my quick un pick mwahahahahahahaha (its evil laughter)." They attacked each other and then both of them stopped at the same time.

"We need a judge" they said simultaneously. After looking around the room for a while they both looked at the sock. Tom riddle quickly charmed it to speak and be able to move and they started their battle again. "Stop, stop, stop." The sock yelled. "What is it sock?" Harry asked, he was very annoyed at it. "First of all my name is now THE SOCKMASTER NEW YORK and second, you shouldn't be fighting you should be dancing. With that said, the sock turned on the stereo and started dancing. A party erupted and just like on the simpsons people appeared out of no-where with beer and a disco ball. Everyone partied long into the night until even the sock grew tired. The charm that was on the sock disappeared and just like that all the partygoers disappeared along with the sock. Harry, Tom, Dudley, His uncle, His aunt and Tom's mother all fell asleep on the floor.

The next morning everyone was back to hating Harry except for Tom riddle who decided that

Voldie-poo was gone forever. Tom seemed to want to be Harry's best friend even though there was an age difference of like 55 years and the SOCKMASTER NEW YORK legend lived on forever.