It was big, it was reptilian, and it was purple.

Candles burned brightly – or as brightly as they could in the overwhelming gloom. The overcast weather, the lack of city lights, the more than heavy drizzle all led to darkness. Within every corner, shadows lay – dancing, dancing over the graves of light. It flickered, it struggled, but in the end, the light could not win the darkness. It was deep, went deeper than anyone could imagine. Unlike the darkness that comes with the night, or the darkness that lies at the bottom of the deepest ocean, this darkness had a life to it. It pulsated and throbbed, and brought to mind the darkness that comes with teeth and claw. Yet no thunderclouds, no flickering shadows, no lack of city lights could produce a darkness as heavy as the ones in the hearts of the people present.

A darkness which was instantly shattered by the devastating howl of a disappointed man.

"Dancho, you can't mean it!" Ubogin wailed, "You called me away from the annual Fight Fest (All Fists no Weapons – except for those we can't see) for this? You've got to be kidding!"

Kuroro Lucifer, almighty leader of the Kumo, the Genei Ryodan, the greatest bandits in the world, struggled furiously with his greatest enemy yet – the twitch that was developing in his left eyebrow. "Yes, I did, Ubogin. Are you disappointed?"

"Yes!" Ubogin wailed, ignoring Shalnark's attempts to calm him down with York Shin Famous Chocolate Balls (Product is not responsible for food poisoning or any other random symptoms similar to those of above mentioned illness).

"Do you mean you will not follow me?" Kuroro insisted, "Are you not willing to carry out the Spider's missions any longer?" The twitch grew even more insistent and he struggled to maintain an aristocratically blank look.

"No…" Ubogin sniffed and took the pink handkerchief Machi passed to him, "but Dancho… this mission is well…" He blew his nose uninhibitedly then passed it to Machi who threw it in the direction of a certain crazed magician.

"Unlikely," Phinx muttered.

"Dancho?" Shalnark tried, "This… uh… mission… is rather… well… like Phinx says, it is really rather…"

"Unlikely."

"Right. It's well… not like the attack at the York Shin auction… or at the Kuruta Tribe… or the well… other missions… it's rather…"

"Unlikely."

Kuroro sighed. The battle was lost. With nothing holding it back now, the twitching went into full force, almost driving his other eyebrow into the same motion. "This is mission is on," he snapped, trying to keep at least his tone neutral."

"But Dancho," Ubo whined, "You are… well… well… well…"

Kuroro glared.

"Dancho dear, I find all your missions cute and adorable, but only because they are exciting and fun," Hisoka, the only person in the room who was unafraid of the twitch, stated, "but this time, what you are asking us to find is a well…"

Kuroro smiled. "Yes, Hisoka. A lizard."

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

"Nice weather," Raoul, a random fisherman who does not appear in HunterXHunter commented, "Nice weather for some really nice fishing, don't you think so?"

"It would appear so father," Raoul's son, a boy officially named Tom, but whom secretly called himself Hamlet replied, "It is indeed most glorious weather that could lead to the clear visibility of the rainbow salmon within the crystal waters of the Jug's Lake." His father laughed delightedly, and Tom aka Hamlet rolled his eyes. The coarseness of the village language, the brash laughter, the banal principles – torture for a man well read in the whole works of Shakespeare (Summary in Five Minutes). Sniffing miserably, he gently stroked his pet parrot, Macbeth as he returned his attention to the book.

Raoul raised a spear and aimed carefully at the fish. "My o'son gets to decide what we do with the first fish we spear!"

"Boiled."

"… Ha… good one!" Raoul hesitated, and wondered about his son. No living creature ate things boiled! Why, that would make them all soft and limpy! Always eat them fried, with enough fat to give your arteries a heart attack before they gave you a heart attack! "I meant what we would really do with it."

"Boil it."

"Ah… so that wasn't a joke?"

"No, my dearest father."

Raoul frowned and pondered about his son's mental and sexual orientation. "Right."

It was then than a rainbow salmon swam really, really close to the boat, right within the perfect spearing distance. Thus Raoul raised his trustworthy spear and took careful aim. His breathing fell into the gentle thrashing of his heart as his eyes narrowed. Slowly… slowly…

"What the…"

The entire lake lurched upwards, like a giant trying to get up. A hideous roar rang through the village, as something (not the lake) tried to rise from the lake.

"Paddle, Tommy! Hurry!"

"What's it, Father?"

"Row! Row!"

"But what is it?"

"It's the purple lizard!"

"What?"

"It's the bone crushing salamander!"

"… Father?"

"It's the –Ing!"

LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

Far above the lake on a conveniently place cliff, a man in a dark trench coat stood, carefully out of range of the monster, as well as the waves. Fur was hard to clean he sometimes wondered why he wore them. Smiling pleasantly, he watched the fisherman's boat fly to safety, as beautiful lines of poetry formed in his head, just as before every heist.

What do you know of beautiful purple lizards?

Nothing in truth, but the huge great hazards.

Not that it matters to every one of us.

We are there mainly to fill our purse.

Still smiling his incredibly dreamy smile, he watched the fishing boat crash land and the occupants scramble out as he picked up his hand phone and pressed the speed dial. "It is time. Gather as many men as possible and gather at headquarters."

"… Kuroro?"

"…"

"It is you, isn't it?"

"No… I am… eh… a telemarketer? Ha ha… would you like to buy our… well… latest… ha ha… perfume?"

"It is you, you morally bankrupt, egoistically enlarged, mentally twisted, highly demented spider, let this be a warning to you! I am going to destroy you and your web of hollow robbers for wiping out my entire…"

He switched it off in a great hurry. Curse Hisoka for putting the crazed Kuruta's last surviving member's number on his speed dial right next to his Genei Ryodan contacts. Come to think of it, curse him for allowing Hisoka to come back into the Genei Ryodan after he played the stupid trick on all of them. He dialed again, carefully this time, taking deep breaths to regain his previous poise and elegance.

"It is time. Gather as many men as possible and gather at headquarters."

"Ah. Dancho. As you say; but I predict a low turnout. This is a low priority mission, isn't it? I mean the chances of the… well… you know… from being discovered…"

"… The -Ing has been sighted."

"…"

"…"

"We're on our way."