Thanks for the reviews I got! So far so good at least!
For Twin Sun Leader: Thanks for the great comments! I really appreciate it! It's very encouraging this being my first fanfic and all, so I'm eternally grateful to you!
For Kuroyue Nara: I'm not telling you! Ha ha! Thanks for the review at any rate! If you want to find out, you've got to read on… and REVIEW! (Just kidding – probably)
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
"So… how we get across?" Shalnark asked, "We can't take the boat because Dancho said too many people getting the boat draws attention… and Machi and Hisoka won the draws so… well… they get a romantic boat ride together."
"I dunno," Ubogin shrugged, "but I know one thing… I don't want to have a romantic boat ride with you, even if I did kiss you."
"Well…" Shalnark raised his finger to his chin as he pouted adorably the way only anime guys can pout without looking girly, "Well… we could fly across I suppose… but that would mean renting a plane… and I don't see any airfields nearby. We could also well… make our own raft… as long as we don't let the locals find out… or we could…"
"Fish!" Ubogin dived into the lake and dog-paddled towards the fish, that rapidly darted away, rolling their eyes (metaphorically speaking of course)at the stupidity of a huge man trying to catch the nimble and swift rainbow salmon with his bare hands. That was, until they realised he wasn't trying to catch them with his hands, but with his hair.
"Or we could swim…" Shalnark rolled his eyes, "Right, swim. Ha! Like anyone would want to swim across two miles of muddy, stinky, disgusting water."
"Swim! Good! Uses less energy than thinking at any rate!" With that Ubogin forgot the fish and powered away towards the island cheerfully.
"Yeah… it's just like two miles. How difficult can that be? That was a hint, Ubo! Take it!"
"Um… sir…"
Shalnark turned around startled, to find a young teen standing next to him, dressed entirely in an unrelieved shade of purple. A long pale hand with violet nail polish flipped purple tresses that hung limply around the shoulders. "Oh… hi… uh…"
"I'm Green, sir."
"Actually, I think that's purple."
"Oh, no sir, I'm called Green, sir."
"Oh…" Shalnark frowned, pondering on the pros and cons of calling a child Green, and what it would do to the child's mental and emotional growth.
"I've got a raft, sir, which nobody in the whole village knows about, sir. Don't ask how that is even possible, sir. Just take it as it is.Would you like me to boat you over, sir?"
"Oh… uh… that would be nice…" Shalnark frowned, and wondered about the pros and cons of getting into the same boat with a person called Green who wears only purple.
"I wouldn't spill on you sir."
"Ok…"
"Not as long as you… well… (wink)… you know?"
"Oh… uh… huh… HUH?" Shalnark gaped at her as the teen fluttered eyelashes covered lavishly in violet mascara.
"Well, sir, I would say it's a good deal sir. Villagers say I'm… hey! Where're you going sir?"
Shalnark, however, was already far from shore, powering himself forward out of sheer terror. This was the first time in his life something like this had happened to him. In all his years as a spider, a member of the Genei Ryodan, he had never faced anything as terrifying as this. As a Spider, he was capable of everything. He could fight, kill, think (a surprisingly rare talent), even whip up a tasty treat of Chocolate Brownies filled with Sugary Goodness and some Nuts (not including Hisoka 'cause that would be just eew), but he could not handle this.
He always knew guys who wore purple could not be trusted.
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Silent, somber, dark, Feitan and Phinx sped across the lake, running so quickly that they remained relatively dry. Well… relative to Shalnark and Ubogin at any rate.
"Huh! Only we could cross the river this way," Phinx smirked, "Machi may have gotten the boat, but she also got a crazed maniac in the bargain."
"We get to run, and all we get is wet feet!"
"… Feitan, I thought that was part of the bad deal with running."
"Oh… good luck to her anyway," Feitan muttered in his deceptively silky soft voice, "Given Hisoka's character, he will probably just sit around and play cards while Machi does all the hard work."
"All the fun, you mean," Phinx smirked harder.
"Definitely." Now Feitan smirked, only no one could see him smirk as his face was partially covered.
"How should we take it out? Dancho wants it alive."
"Usual way. Blow to the back of the head."
"That would have to be one hard blow."
"The more fun that is. Maybe we can use the new torture device I bought."
"You mean the one with the spikes and the iron ball?"
"Yep."
"Cool! You brought it along?"
"Of course."
"Oh man, that rocks! Let's use it!"
"Sure. Or we could use the other one, the one with the huge flat surface and the… well… I guess you could call it spikes."
"Oh man! That like, so rocks! You sure have a thing about spikes!"
"Got a problem with that?"
"Yeah, a problem called good taste, dude!"
Both Spiders exchanged looks, smirked, giggled then broke out laughing. Evilly, they cackled, laughed, chortled, guffawed, and expressed all signs of excitement and hilarity. Unfortunately for them, in their extreme glee, they had slowed down and came to a stop. Thus the next noise heard was the loud splashing of two spiders falling into the lake amongst many a curse and swearing.
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
"Ah…" Kuroro muttered, quietly observing the lake. It was amazing how big things look up close as compare to from a conveniently placed cliff far away.
"How should we cross it, Dancho?" Shizuku asked innocently.
"… Give me a moment to think."
"Yes Dancho."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"Any ideas, Shizuku?"
"No, sir."
Kuroro fell deceptively silent again as he cursed himself frantically. He had chosen Shizuku as his partner because he figured with her vacuum cleaner, she would have the best chance of finding the creature in this large piece of land. Now, however, he was half wishing he had brought Shalnark along. That boy had probably figured out the best way to cross the river by now.
Sighing, he turned his head, coincidentally missing the sight of Shalnark thrashing his way across the lake in a desperate attempt to escape a certain teen dressed in purple.
"If the lake were shallower," Shizuku announced, "We could cross the lake by walking through it."
Kuroro rolled his eyes. Right. It would surely take a genius to figure that out.
"If the lake were gone, we could walk across too…"
"Uh huh…"
Suddenly, the whirring of a certain household appliance purred through the air, and he turned around startled. Before he could stop her, Shizuku plunged the head of the vacuum cleaner into the lake and started to suck up all the water in the lake.
Kuroro watched amazed as the water disappeared, and Shizuku dragged him across the lake, her vacuum cleaner gargling curses behind them as it complained about water drunkenness and the crab that was stuck in its nozzle.
A distance away, Shalnark plopped onto the muddy ground with a sigh of relief, and a loudly proclaimed, "Thank you! Oh thank you, upon the word of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit! Thank you! I love you! I love you!"
"All the water back," Shizuku instructed as soon as they crossed the river, and turned to deliver the water back. Her vacuum cleaner gargled and spat as it regurgitated into what had once been the lake, but was now a mere dent in the ground.
"Right. Well done." Kuroro stared helplessly as she dumped the water back into the lake, "Quite well done, I mean… or… well… rather well done…"
"Why? Why?" Shalnark wailed as a whirlpool formed around him (specifically around him) and started to pull him down. "Why? I hate you! I hate you!"
Ubogin fished Shalnark out of the river and rolled his eyes. Really! All brain no brawn! What's the use in that?
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Puffing and panting, a creature rose from the deepest recesses of the sea. It groaned and muttered then plopped itself onto the wet, muddy bank. For the longest time, it was still then suddenly, it lifted its head and gave a loud bellow of indignity.
"Oh shut up," Machi snarled, trying to squeeze water out of her hair.
"I was thrown from the boat," Hisoka whined – or would have if he hadn't seen Machi's death glare beaming down at him from the corner of his eye like a Martian warship coming to collect specimens for the newest enrichment course the college Martians were taking. Thus, instead he muttered, "We're here at any rate." Then deciding he wasn't being creepy enough, he lowered his head and gave his best giggle, at the same time adding, "You are so cute when you are angry."
Machi rolled her eyes. Why, oh why did Dancho dump her with this maniac clown? What had she done to deserve this? Why was heaven so against her? She hadn't done anything wrong! She had been a great member of the Genei Ryodan; killing when told, robbing when told… even flipping the coin when told. The world was unfair to her!
Suddenly, Hisoka stood up, his normally slicked back hair falling gracefully and wetly around his face. A look of pure determination settled over his face, and his normally smiling lips settled back into a hard line of fortitude. "I can feel it!" he whispered breathily, "I can feel it! It is strong (giggle), very strong…" Throwing back his head, he chuckled, choked then went into an artificially induced epileptic fit.
"Eew…" Machi muttered, "Whatever. Let's just meet at the rendezvous point. Remember the bearings?" Hisoka, having gotten her attention, miraculously recovered fro the fit.
"Ten steps from the big red dot on the map."
"…"
"…"
"…"
"That is… eh… quite impossible, isn't it?"
"Yes, Hisoka. It is ten steps from the tallest tree visible from the beach. That one there. The one sticking out of the forest. Let's go." Without waiting for him, Machi turned and strode purposefully into the forest.
Hisoka hesitated, thought, "Ten steps in which direction?" Decided it was irrelevant (and probably fatal), and followed mournfully (and wetly) after Machi.