Hunter X Hunter does not belong to me, and neither does Shakespeare. There are quotes here from Julius Caesar, Measure for Measure and Romeo and Juliet, of all three texts, none belong to me.
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Flip.
Flip.
Cackle.
Flip.
Cackle louder.
Flip.
"Oh, for the love of God," Machi howled, spinning around to face her companion, "If you have something to say, say it! Stop flipping the Queen of Hearts in front of my face!"
Hisoka pulled on his best hurt-puppy look, making sure the eyes were at the perfect pitch of soulfulness. The eyes were the most important part of this look. Overdo it and you end up looking tacky – not enough soulfulness on the other hand fails to gain sympathy. "I only do it so you will pay attention to me," he purred, pulling a pout even Biscuit couldn't beat.
"Right," Machi scowled, "pull a puppy face and expect me to pay attention to you? Dream on! You don't have the tiniest inch of my attention! I'm doing an excellent job ignoring you."
Flip.
Cackle.
"Stop trying to irritate me!"
Hisoka shrugged innocently and smiled as they reached the edge of the cliff. "Ooh… the water is deep," he commented, "Just like on the map. Care for a swim?"
"No, thank you," Machi muttered, "We are not going in there, Hisoka, regardless of what your miniscule brain thinks. We will not go down there. I will not take part in your disgusting feats of stupidity." She turned away and stormed back into the forest, successfully ignoring the million-dollar pout that Hisoka had pasted onto his face.
"What a pity," Hisoka purred, removing the nen that was sticking his pout into place and trailing after her.
"That's it! We're almost there! We're almost there! We'll make it! Yes!"
Frowning, he turned back to the lake and gazed down.
"Just a little bit more, and it'll be done! Done! Almost… almost… SUCCESS! Now, the world shall be ours!"
Just as Hisoka was about to comment, a deep and oddly bolded voice sounded from the bottom.
"I have great faith in thy intent, sire, and I do trust it to grow to full prosperity. Who be you, sir, with the oddly un-purple hair?"
Slowly, Hisoka turned around.
"Machi? There's a purple lizard down there, and it's talking to me."
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"Hmm…" Kuroro bent over scraps of paper littered over the grounds of the Southwest quadrant. Curiously, he shooed a lump of dirt away and picked a scrap up. "Shizuku. What do you make of this?"
"It's a scrap of paper, Dancho."
"… Right…" he pondered over the writings for a while then read, "Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears. I come to bury Caesar, not to…" He frowned and randomly picked up another scrap of paper. "I now being with grief and shame to utter. He would not but by the gift of my chaste body to his concupiscible intemperate lust…"
Silence fell as Kuroro thought some more, him being blessed as the kind who need not move their head to generate mental processes.
"Dancho?"
"Pick up other pieces and read out to me. I'll do the same."
"Hai."
"Do not swear at all; Or if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self…"
"And now I give my sensual race the rein."
"Ay, you have been a mouse-hunt in your time, but I will watch you from such watching now."
"Unhappy Claudio, wretched Isabel, Injurious world, most damned Angelo!"
A lump of dirt watched the ensuring dialogue curiously and started to back off slightly. What was this, this strange creature that resembled no dirt, sand or rock? It jumped in surprise when the one in the dark clothes threw back his head in shock and exclaimed, "This means something, Shizuku! Something… horrible, for the whole of humanity!" It turned and fled. Sometimes, understanding can be a bad thing – and the lump of dirt did not want reality to come so soon… not just yet, at least.
"What is it, Dancho?" Shizuku asked.
"This scraps of paper! They are… well… they are… Shakespeare!"
"Shakespeare? Is that the new torture device Feitan bought yesterday?"
"Actually, yes… I mean… no… it is a… well…" Kuroro muttered, pacing up and down frantically, "No… wait… no… I don't… arg…!"
"Dancho?"
"What's this? What's this? What's this?"
"Dancho?"
"It's the Words… it has something to do with the Words…"
"Words?"
"With the capital W. Words…"
"Words?"
"Yes. Words." He turned and started to stride frantically in the direction of southeast, "Learn the words, Shizuku. They are powerful, and well… power is good, ain't it? Just don't learn as many as I know… that wouldn't do."
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Machi gaped as Hisoka jumped back from the creature that rose from the depths. She stared and stared… and for good measure, stared again. The thing that was before them was… well… strangely… ambiguous and purple. It was technically shaped like a lizard… but… well… logically, a lizard wouldn't have that part sticking out there… nor that part sticking out there… and it had to be biologically impossible for a lizard to have… well… that part… sinking… hollowing in like that and well…
"Greetings, weary travelers. Peace be with you. Does a red sun rise from the east?"
"Uh… is that a trick question?" Even the ever so eloquent Hisoka was struck dumb as the… well… ambiguous being looked at them with what could only be… well… eyes, only… eyes usually don't… well… do what those… eh… orbs were doing.
"Have no fear, ambitious ones, for what's in a name? Much and much and much, much more, it would seem. Would yours be Romeo?"
"Machi…" Machi blurted out, "I am… eh… Machi, Mr… well… -Ing."
"-Ing? Unfortunate and tricked lady! Touched by the Wand of Madness. –Ing, I am not, for if I am, I am nothing at all."
"What do you mean?" Machi rubbed her temples as the world spun happily and insanely around her.
"In days long past, in seas long swam, in grass long eaten, I had no name. –Ing they called me for they had no words for me. Long gone are such fine times! No Kings! No Queens! No Brutus! No Cassius! I have the WORDS!" The creature veered up and something that looked vaguely like a chest (the kind made of oak and rosewood) swelled up in a marvelous display of the biggest ego ever seen by any human being.
"Words…"
"With Words I have, I longed for a name! What's in a name? A name is a name and much more, for if it were more, it would be none, and if it were none, it would be more! I am the Jug Ness Monster!"
"Jug Ness Monster…" Machi stared dazedly up at it, "and..."
"The Fiery Phoenix of the Words had spoken to me." Now the eyes took on a deliberate sly gleam as it raised a giant piece of flesh that was in all probability a fin, but could have easily been mistaken for an overgrown wart. "All humans shall perish, and I shall be KING! For I am Ambitious!"
"What the…" Machi turned and ran desperately as the probably fin, maybe wart, came crashing down. As the world crumbled and fell around her, she was aware of only one thing.
A remarkably strong arm was holding on tightly to her waist.
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"It's the Words!" the hand-phone howled, "The Words! It all has something to do with the Words, and I can't figure it out!"
Shalnark carefully held his precious phone at arm's length as it continued to howl into his ear. "I don't get what you mean, Dancho? What do the words have to do with anything?"
"It's Words with the capital W, you nerd! Say the capital letter!"
"Right. So, what do the Words have to do with the –Ing, Dancho?"
"That's the problem, you dork! I have absolutely no idea!"
"Then… well… what makes you think the w… I mean, Words, have anything to do with anything?"
"That's because you don't find Shakespeare in the middle of a protected Reservation for nothing! If you find it, it means something! Just like in all detective stories. You find a shard of glass, it has to mean something! It is some kind of Universal law or something. If something that doesn't mean anything appears, the Universe would be thrown into turmoil!"
Shalnark scratched his head. "You know… that actually makes sense… in a well… nonsensical sort of way. So… what?"
"Gather the rest! We will meet at the middle of the map to discuss this perplexing problem."
"Ok Dancho." Shalnark switched off his phone and shrugged. Turning around, he caught sight of Ubogin squatting on the ground near the root of a large tree. "Ubo! Stop poking the tree root and let it finish its meal in peace! Dancho wants to meet us on the one meter rock in the middle of the lake!"