Disclaimer: I am not making any money of this fic, nor do I own Star Trek: Voyager, Deep Space Nine, The Next Generation or the original series, or anything else I make references to. If you saw the character on any show, then it is not mine. The same goes for ships, planets, cultures, et cetera. This story will depict a loving relationship between two women and there are no apologies to be made over this. Chapter 14 title is from "Long Way Down" by the Goo Goo Dolls.

Genre: Action-Adventure, Drama
Codes: K/7, T/7

Feedback: Please, reviews are the food of the muse… but flames are for candles!

Extra Disclaiming Note: All chapter titles are NOT owned by me and are owned, respectively, by the bands who wrote/played them and their record companies.

Home, Chapter 14
Almost Human, but I'll never be the same...

Past...

"What did she mean that she's seven-hundred and forty six years old?" Janeway asked Luii as Chakotay stalked out of the Mess Hall. Luii sighed.

"Have you ever heard of a being called a Q?" Janeway's head swung around, giving him her full attention. "I'll take that as a yes. Well, you see, when she was on the Enterprise-D, she encountered one. Apparently, he haunted the Enterprise like a ghost."

"Yes, I've heard."

"The Q are forbidden to meddle in the lives of Shashans, without their voluntary permission. Jessica gave hers in exchange for Q's noninterference in the lives of the eleven other children on the Enterprise. He planned to test the limits of the human psyche."

"I don't mean to interrupt, but why did the Q give you special treatment?"

"One day, about nine hundred years ago, one of us was strong enough to prevent the Q from blinking us out of existence. Instead, she bludgeoned the Q and they agreed from that day forward that they wouldn't bother us if we didn't bother them. Q was perfectly willing to leave Jessica out of his experiment, but she wouldn't let him destroy the lives of the children and traded herself.

"He forced her to live twelve lives taken from myth and history. Two of those lives were on Shaola—Ktana, a princess from the plague years and Shasha. The first, who's soul she is said to carry."

"The first?"

"The first Shashan, from a million years past. The first to hatch, think and draw breath as a form of what we are today. Much different in body, as she still had a tail and six breasts, but still, not as far removed as her ancestors. It's a long story, and as all our myths are, it is scientific fact mixed with legend, passed by word of mouth for all these years."

"How can you be certain it hasn't changed?"

"We have eidetic memories as young children, and though they fade with age, that which we learn in the first six years never leaves us, unless we suffer severe brain damage. Every minute from about a week before our birth is stored in permanent memory. I can't say that things don't get exaggerated, but the basic truth underlies all. Also, Jessica was there to confirm much of it."

"How can you be certain that Q wasn't showing her a myth?"

"Because we want to believe it. It is amazing what logic a person will reject for pure faith."

"So Q made her live the lives of twelve people?"

"Yes. To test the strength of her mind. She maintained that strength until he left the Enterprise, both excited that her mind was so strong and disappointed that he hadn't broken her. As soon as he left, she went into a mental coma. Her mind wasn't able to process the memories of twelve lifetimes. The coma didn't last long, only about two days, then she came to, her mind reorganized to deal with information it wasn't designed to handle."

"Trill hosts handle that information—"

"The memories are stored in the symbiont. The Host has only his or her own memories and where the other lives meet, there is often confusion. That is why they have a screening process." Kathryn jumped at the voice and looked at Jessica, who had come back into the Mess Hall without her knowledge. "Also, I'm not a Trill. I haven't had centuries of evolution to prepare me to share my mind with the memories of other people's lives."

"So what did your mind do to... reorganize?"

"It's like multiple-personality schizophrenia. It separated the lives into other parts of my brain, like different personalities, only I have complete control over and access to those memories. I just have to set aside my own memories to access them." Jessica looked haggard and tired. She seemed to be having trouble breathing and Kathryn began worrying.

"Are you alright?" Jessica smiled, but it didn't meet her eyes.

"I really need to go to the Infirmary, but I wanted to apologize for my outburst. I won't make any excuses for my behavior, it was simply atrocious." Janeway didn't know what to say. She didn't really understand and at the same time, she did. Jessica seemed to know what she was thinking however and smiled, bowed slightly and left. For once, Kathryn didn't have any questions left.

Present...

Seven listened to her own breathing: fast, but even. Her body twitched and jerked, enjoying the sensations it had never before experienced. Harry lay beside her, his hand between her legs, causing those sensations. Every time she asked if he was going to engage in intercourse, he responded with...

"You aren't ready, yet." Seven didn't understand this. She felt ready. How could he think she wasn't, when she was lying here with him?

"Trust me, Seven. I won't ruin this for you." She relaxed again, concentrating on the mounting tension inside her that seemed to promise something that she didn't completely understand. A moan was ripped out of her as the feelings suddenly escalated, driving her to the edge, those promises about to be fulfilled. Harry's fingers slid down, then back up and he never missed a beat as he climbed onto her.

There was a moment of pain, but she didn't really notice as she climaxed, crying out as all her frustration, all her tension was released. She opened her eyes and looked into Harry's, feeling a stab of guilt as she thought his eyes were just a little too small, just a shade too dark... She closed her eyes and relaxed her body and realized that Harry was waiting for her. She looked up again, feeling her body grow excited at the prospect of another orgasm.

She ignored the picture in her head, of B'Elanna, in Harry's place... …

B'Elanna decided that she was being stupid, ruining her two best friendships on Voyager over a crush. She hated girls who did that when she was in school, and hated herself now for doing the exact same thing. She approached Harry's quarters, deciding that he would be easier to convince that she had just been in a mood.

She smelled it first. Her Klingon senses picked up the scent just outside his door. She listened, but realized that for her to catch the scent, then the doors would have had to have been opened recently. She touched the door chime, reminding herself that she had no right to be jealous.

She had lied to Seven, lied to herself and whatever happened now, she had no business saying anything. Harry opened the door and B'Elanna could smell Seven, all over his skin. A human wouldn't be able to on their best day, but B'Elanna wasn't quite human, as much as she sometimes liked to pretend she was.

"Hi, Starfleet," she said, smiling sadly. He returned the smile, something in his eyes that she couldn't read.

"Hey, Maquis." B'Elanna stopped herself before she took a deep breath and just decided to pretend nothing had happened.

"Breakfast?" she asked. Harry's smile widened.

"Sure, I'm not on for an hour." They walked down the corridor together, friends again as if nothing had happened, but desperately jealous of each other.

Past... Next day...

Kathryn stepped into the lift with Jessica and B'Elanna. There was a small, light-red Shashan girl inside, wearing a pale green tunic. She looked at Jessica and raised her wrists to her inclined forehead, as Janeway had seen many of the ship's crew do.

"Command deck," Jessica said. She smiled at her visitors and opened her mouth to say something when the young woman began speaking in a soft voice.

"Majesty?" Jessica looked at her and smiled.

"Yes... Larrana, isn't it?" The woman nodded, looking pleasantly surprised. Then she began shifting her weight nervously.

"I... I don't know if I should..." Larrana looked at the data padd in her hand for a moment. "Captain Tarrel didn't tell you, and… but I thought you should…" Janeway noticed that the girl had a bad habit of not finishing her sentences. She seemed to be working up the courage to hand Jessica the padd. "Here." Kathryn had to fight the urge to applaud.

"What is it?" Jessica said, still smiling, though her brow had furrowed in puzzlement. She looked down at the foreign writing and began scrolling down, losing her smile as she went. Finally, she looked up as the lift slowed to a stop. "Is this true?" Jessica asked as the doors slid open.

"Yes," Larrana said, catching the door before it closed. "It just came in yesterday. I know that the Captain didn't want you to see it, but I didn't think that it was right, considering."

"Thank you, Larrana. I'll try to be at your wedding next week, I promise." Larrana beamed and hurried out of the lift, letting the doors close behind her.

"What is it?" B'Elanna asked as Jessica resumed reading.

"Vorchen activity report," Jessica said, and then looked at B'Elanna. "Can you hear my thoughts?" B'Elanna knit her brow and then shook her head.

"No." The doors opened and Jessica stormed out onto the command deck and Luii turned. He looked at her, confused, and then she backhanded him. He hit the deck, hard.

"You son of a bitch!" she said and kicked him while he was down. Then she grabbed him by the hair and yanked him up until he was in her face. "Drop your fucking shields, right now!" she yelled and released him. Luii stood up and backed out of her reach. "Drop them!" It was a scream.

"I thought you never swung first," Luii said, wiping the blood from the corner of his mouth.

"You had no right. Now stop blocking me!" Everyone on the deck had frozen at his or her tasks to watch the altercation. Kathryn stood next to B'Elanna, in shock. Luii closed his eyes for a moment and Jessica dropped to the deck, drawing in a painful breath. B'Elanna brought her hand to her head and winced. Jessica released her breath as a low, drawn-out sob.

"Are you happy? I was just trying to protect you." Jessica glared up at him.

"How... dare you?" She stood up. "You motherfucking—"

"Insults don't become you, your Majesty." Luii hissed. Jessica glared at him.

"You didn't give me that report because you knew that she was there. You knew what I would have to do."

"You don't have to do it! We can send rescue—"

"That isn't enough!" Jessica's scream echoed through the bridge over Luii's yell.

"I didn't tell you because I knew that you would react this way. It isn't as if she were your wife!" Jessica was walking away and as he said this, she turned back to him.

"It doesn't matter if she's my wife or not, you know how much she means to me.

"That day on the space station, when she declared that she was your wife to that Vorchen, she made a lot of enemies." Luii said, his eyes having gone black.

"If she hadn't made that declaration, I wouldn't be standing here now."

"I know. Which proves that if you continue being so impetuous, you're going to get yourself killed," he said, his volume rising with each word.

"You think I care? As long as no one I care about gets killed, why should it bother me? If I die, then I'm meant to die. Period."

"Don't you think that that is exactly the way she feels? She is Starfleet, after all. She knew that her work could get her killed."

"She would do the same for me."

"And you wouldn't forgive her for it." They stood there, glaring at each other, panting in fury. "You're no help to anyone if you're dead."

"Who says I'm going to die?" Jessica yelled, then walked backwards, stumbling slightly. "I'm fucking immortal, remember? Fate's whore?" Jessica spun around and headed to the lift.

"It doesn't have to be like this," Luii said, calming down.

"Commander Frej, make sure that the Voyager captain and her chief engineer get their full tour, please."

"Where are you going?" Kathryn asked.

"Rescue my zhanal." Jessica answered as she stepped into the lift.

"Not alone, you're not," B'Elanna said, running past the doors before they slid shut, leaving Janeway on the bridge, alone. She turned to Luii.

"I am sorry, Captain Janeway. I wish that could have been avoided." He apologized, bowing his head to her. She returned the gesture, slightly.

"Who is this member of Starfleet that they are going to rescue?"

"Lieutenant Commander Jadzia Dax. A Trill woman that Jessica met at Starfleet Academy before she was Joined. As most of Jessica's zhanals, she bonded with Jessica to save her life. Jadzia had yet to be issued a post or a symbiont and was on Earth, awaiting assignment. From what I've heard, they were wild and it was the only thing that kept Jessica sane between all the work she had to do with a quadruple load on her shoulders."

"Something would have to," Janeway agreed, "Where is she?"

"A Vorchen slaving ship, about one parsec from Shaola. If Jessica takes less than three days to rescue her, she'll meet us as we reach the homeworld."

"I suppose there's no way we can stop them?" Luii shook his head and Kathryn sighed. The last thing she wanted was to lose B'Elanna, now that she had finally started getting to know the woman. She looked up at Luii and said, "You know, your queen is a bad influence on my new Chief Engineer."

"I wish I could say that you were wrong."

To be continued…