Hi pple! I'm back from my holiday, so here's the next chapter of HXH. I do not own HXH anyway… or Shakespeare… or the Words, so don't sue me anyone! Remember to RandR!

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"Phoenix! I'm a Phoenix! I demand you get the species correct."

Ubo took to rolling on the ground as he screamed with laughter. Machi merely shook the parrot harder.

"Quit laughing, you big oaf! And stop shaking me like that!"

"Stow it. Why the hell you feed that lizard the Words for?" Phinx reached out to take its neck but it flapped him away.

"Hey, watch it, pal! I've got a sensitive neck, you know."

"Oh Dancho?" Machi smirked happily, "How much do you think we can get for this parrot?"

"How much? Enough to buy my next dinner, I suppose, if I decide to go for something that tastes like a cross between dirt and dirt wannabes."

"That worth it?"

"Not really."

"Then why don't you make it your next dinner? I know some pretty good dishes that involve unspecified red coloured birds"

"Stuff the objectifying, lady. I've got a name, you know."

"Right!" Machi turned on it, glowering angrily, "It's all your fault, Mr Parrot, that I had to go through my entire day of mugging and slugging through all this mud, dirt, and dirt wannabes with a psycho Shakespeare-speaking clown next to me! You want to "lady" me, Mr Parrot, you can "lady" me after I tear you from limb to limb!"

"Hey… hey… let's not get rough, okay, lady… I mean, Miss eh… eh… Woman? I mean, hey! I'm a parrot, Miss Woman, you don't wanna get sued for eh… eh… Bird Abuse, eh?" Uncomfortably, the parrot tried to scratch its beak, but failed due to the nen thread wrapped tightly around his wings.

"Then you've better start answering some questions, Mr Parrot," Feitan glowered from below eye-level, "Like, why did you give the lizard the words."

"Eh…"

"What?"

"My name isn't Parrot."

"Then what is it?"

"Eh… it's… well… don't laugh, okay?"

"Spill it or I'll make Machi glare at you again."

"Ok! Ok! It's Macbeth."

"Macbeth?"

"Oh my gosh!" Kuroro exclaimed suddenly in a manner that was surprisingly manly despite the diction used, "I know where you got the Words from! I know! I know!"

"Eh… heh heh… you don't say? Eh… he nuts?"

"Dancho?"

"It's that kid from the boat! The boat that got beached by the man who first saw the Jug Ness Monster!"

"Eh… yeah, that's my master."

"And what's your master's name, Macbeth?" A bout of snickering could be heard from behind where Phinx and Ubogin were desperately trying to breathe.

"Officially Tom, unofficially Hamlet."

Kuroro smiled suddenly. It wasn't anywhere near how Hisoka usually smiled, but it was enough to give Macbeth a case of cold talons. "And it hereby all makes sense."

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Ubogin twiddled his fingers.

Phinx rubbed his neck.

Shizuku stared blankly into the water.

Feitan drew himself up and looked down his nose at the parrot.

Machi drew herself up and looked down her nose at the parrot – and fantasized about cooking time.

Hisoka smiled.

The world trembled, decided it was sick of trembling, and took to shuddering instead.

"Your master gave you the Words," Kuroro was saying, "the moment he, and his father discovered the –ing, as it was then known, he saw the potential within it, if it had power."


"Eh… can't say anything. He'd pluck me alive."

"Hot or cold?" Kuroro questioned, in the logically confusing, but psychologically logical way of making a person – or parrot confess without actually saying so.

"Boiling."

"He saw the potential, so he gave it the Words, because Words are the most powerful things you can find out here in this desolated primordial pit hole."

"Eh… it would almost be a volcanic eruption, only this place ain't that primordial. We have pinball machines here, you know?"

"But, why would some village boy who fantasizes about himself being Hamlet want to awaken the potential within the Jug Ness?"

"Can't say anything."

"To… get a girl?"

"Pretty much Arctic ice. His favourite bedmate is The Merchant of Venice."

"To get back at someone?"

"Eh… think… equator… with all the delicious tropical fruit..."

"To get back at one person only?"

"Moving north with the birds… which sounds like a really good idea now."

"To get back at more than one person."

"Think a nice cup of hot coffee on a cold and chilly day."

"Is that hot or cold?"

"Hot, dork! It's hot!"

"I see. Then how about…"

"To kill this village." There was a click, much like the sound of a trigger being pulled back.

The Genei Ryodan turned around. The parrot turned as best as it could.

"Hey, Master."

"You most pernicious ones!" the boy murmured, stepping regally out from behind a tree, a gun in his hand, "Oh, to halt the inevitable! Now, thou shalt die, and destiny shall be fulfilled!"

He raised his gun, pointed at the Genei Ryodan, and for good measure, gave the evil villain's laugh. "Fare thee well. I shall miss the entertainment once given by butterflies fluttering aimlessly amongst the venus fly trap."

With another evil villian's laugh, he pulled the trigger.

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Two shots rang out, echoing throughout the forest. Feitan grunted as Ubogin gasped.

"Kid's a really poor shot."

"Not really, Feitan. You were just to fast for him… and as for Ubo…"

"He did hit me… or at least my nen barrier."

"Yeah. It's amazing he got off two shots."

"Amazing he even got to shoot. Look at the way Machi's glaring at him."

"She is super pissed. I'm surprised she didn't jump him before he shot. Now she's got nen thread all over the place."

"Yeah. Hey, Dancho. If you put a bit more pressure there, you might…"

"If you are so anxious to help, Phinx, then come up here and do it with your own hands."

Now, my dear readers, to fully sympathize with the situation Kuroro had found himself in, I, the poor, demented author, shall have to launch into a full scale authorial intrusion.

The moment the boy had fired the shots, Machi had unleashed her all powerful nen threads, wrapping him up in a rather comical nen cocoon next to his pet, who was wrapped in a similar manner. She had then proceeded to advance upon both master and pet in the full intention of pummeling the hell (and possibly their brains) out of them. Kuroro, presently being the smart one in the absence of Shalnark had decided that it was inappropriate to allow Machi to proceed as planned, and was thus physically trying to restrain her by holding on to her arms. Unfortunately for the poor Dancho, previous trials had proven to him that his arm strength is by no means superior to Machi's, and he hereby found himself in a rather undesirable situation of trying to restrain a sore, tired, dirty woman in need of a nice bath and a good massage. (I know, I can hear all the men groaning in sympathy). The rest of the Genei Ryodan, had took to standing around to watch the unforeseen entertainment and laugh at it, as befitting of men and women who barely had the chance to crack a smile more than once a century.

"Let me at him! Let me at him!" Machi was howling, in full hormonal-pissed-off-woman mode.

"Now, now, Machi. As is befitting of a murder/robber organization that donates to charity, we have to let him say his last words before murdering, and possibly, robbing him."

"I don't care! Tramping through the woods, the dirt, and the would-be dirt has thrown me into a hormonal imbalance! I hereby demand the right of a woman in pre-menstrual-symptom mode to fully abuse the person in front of me right now!"

"In a minute, in a minute." Kuroro was by now panting in a highly aristocratic manner.

"No! No! I'll slaughter him!"

"Machi, get a grip or I'll sentence you to two days alone with Hisoka in a dark four-by-four cell" The struggling stopped immediately as Machi's face turned an interesting shade from white, to green, to blue and back to white again.

"My, Dancho, if you've said so earlier… of course I would love to give you a minute with the parrot… ha ha…" Machi giggled hysterically, maintaining her grip on the nen thread as she inched away from Kuroro and Hisoka.

"What a pity," Hisoka purred, running a hand through his hair, it being the only hair among the Genei Ryodan that didn't have lumps of dirt crawling in it for obvious reasons.

Kuroro cleared his throat and adjusted his coat primly. "Alright, young man, I demand you explain your recent atrocious behaviour before we allow Machi to slaughter you."

Young Tom glared up at him with hatred dancing in his eyes. "Look around you, my good man, look around you! Look at all this dirt!" He glanced down to emphasize his point, and the hatred had to cling to his cornea to avoid falling out of his eyes.

The Genei Ryodan stared at the ground as directed.

"Eew."

"Gross."

"Get off my foot."

"Mark it! Mark this… this… waste!" the boy cried, "Fie, fie! Was Man born to trudge through such dirt? Doth God create a marvel to waddle in this mud like swine?"

"Well… according to the bible, when Adam was created, it was pretty much mostly tree and mud."

"Yeah… and leaves of course."

"Oh yes… leaves, definitely."

"Mark it!" the boy cried again, this time, a bit more desperately. "Mark the village! How ill it is, with rot and decay! Apart from Hamlet, there liveth no Shakespeare in this village! No… no intelligence, no life! Should it not be destroyed?

"I've say. It's got a purple lizard-balloon floating above it. That has to be unhygienic in someway."

"Yeah. It's so purple it could probably be identified from space."

"To cleanse it," the boy continued, feeling a bit more assured, "To cleanse it, I released the evil within the –Ing! I gave it the Words!" Appropriately, lightning flashed and thunder roared.

"I see." Kuroro rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Well, since you don't appear to have more to say… Machi, he's all yours."

"The parrot too?"

"Hmm? Oh, of course."

"And… I wouldn't get sentenced to being alone with Hisoka in a four-by-four cell?"

"Of course not. I can't be bothered to locate a cell that's exactly four-by-four just because you killed Hamlet and Macbeth anyway."

"Brilliant!" Machi leapt up with the blood-lust as is appropriate of a Kumo. "I shall have your death!" Before she could advance any further however, the world started to tremble.

"Stop smiling, Hisoka!"

"It's not me, I'm not smiling at all… well… I wasn't smiling just now, at least."

"What… then…"

A purple wart that passed off for a fin (and vice versa) covered the sky, throwing a deep, dark, purplish shadow over the Genei Ryodan and their preys. Another tremble sounded as a second wart rose from the lake and thundered onto the ground. The Genei Ryodan stared up at the Jug Ness Monster much like people who stare at volcanoes, that while once dormant, had finally erupted with a force greater than anything Man can throw at it.

"Fools! Infidels!" the monster roared, "Oh, to scorn the Jug Ness Monster! To take it for a tool! To take it for evil! Hamlet! Fiery Phoenix of the Words, who is no Phoenix, but a Parrot named Macbeth! I shall have your blood!"

"Hey, hey, chill it!" Phinx called as a tsunami rose from the lake and roared down on them. "Chill it, dude! You were only used! We get used all the time by Dancho to fulfill his plans for robbing every auction in town!" Eventually, a series of curse words unsuitable for the ears of people below eighteen years old was lost when the tsunami crashed over.

"Man! Woman! Liars!" The monster rose to its full height in a magnificently ambiguous display of purple and warts. "Destruction thou called me for, and destruction I shall bring! Upon the village? Nay! Upon thy heads destruction shall fall!" With another huge roar, the lizard leapt up into the air and then pummeled back to earth with the full intention of fulfilling his threat.

"Run!" Kuroro shouted, himself turning to do so as the world turned purple.