Hey people, this is a comparatively shorter chapter, and I apologize for that, but I've been sick recently, and right now, my medication is making me feel sleepy. Eh… and also, I've got a writer's block. When your head is spinning and your nose is dripping, humour doesn't flow easily. When I get better, I promise to try and write a better chapter than this, because personally, this chapter isn't all that funny to me. Anyway, I hope you continue reading, and please do enjoy it all the same.

Hunter X Hunter and Shakespeare do not belong to me – ever.

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Machi moaned, and bubbles bubbled from her lips. She opened her eyes and saw a shellfish that looked oddly like a lump of dirt floundering in the water below her. She moaned again and more air bubbles burst from her mouth.

By the observation of those two events, Machi had reached the startling conclusion that she was floating face down in a large body of water, the closest candidate being the Jug Lake. In a situation like this, one might have expected her to scream and leap out of the water immediately to replenish her starved lungs. However, Machi has proven that she is by no means a normal woman, and thus, her first reaction was to think, "Gosh… the water is cool… and surprisingly clean compared to the jungle. It feels so damn good."

Her second reaction was to think, "Geez, I'm unconscious for the third time in twenty-four hours."

Her third reaction was to think, "Ah, at least I wouldn't wake up with Hisoka's hideous face leering inches away from mine."

Her fourth reaction was to confirm that assumption by lifting her head out of the water.

Her fifth reaction was to scream and jump out of the water when said clown purred, "My, my, you do look so adorable when you just wake up," inches away from her face.

"What the f…"

"Uh uh," Hisoka giggled, wagging a finger in front of her, "No words unsuitable for virgin ears."

"Virgin ears indeed."

Machi and Hisoka stared as Kuroro rose from the depths of the river, a lump of dirt crawling regally across his forehead. "I have reached a conclusion," Kuroro announced, "that the Jug Ness Monster has landed with sufficient force to wash us out into the lake."

"…"

"…"

"Yeah… we so didn't figure that out, Dancho."

"Are we all present?" Kuroro arched his eyebrow primly as the other members of the Genei Ryodan rose from the water with random pieces of dirt, seaweed, and for some reason, teabags on random parts of their bodies.

"I think so, Dancho," Shizuku said slowly, hanging on to Ubogin to avoid having to tread water.

"Oh good."

There was a long silence, as the Genei Ryodan members thought hard on what they could next say. The dear readers may not know it, but it is surprisingly difficult to come up with a conversational topic after being washed out into a lake by a purple lizard falling from the sky.

"So… uh…" Phinx began first in a brave attempt to start a conversation, "The lizard fell on us."

"Yeah…" Ubogin replied encouragingly, "Only it missed us."

"Ah."

"Ah."

"Eh…"

"Let's just go with the usual discussion of what to do now."

"Ah… good idea."

"So," Kuroro went on, as the group relaxed slightly among the lumps of dirt, "We have discovered a great foe in this self-appointed Jug Ness Monster. It was strong enough to wash seven Kumos out to… lake. That has to mean something."

"Just how much of those Words did that crazy Hamlet feed that thing?" Feitan growled.

"Half of Julius Caesar, two-thirds of Macbeth, a quarter of Measure for Measure and a little bit of Romeo and Juliet."

Everyone turned to stare. "You still hanging around?"

"My hands and feet… and every other part of my anatomy is bound with thread as unbreakable as steel, which is inconveniently linked to the lady's finger."

"…"

"Unbreakable as steel."

"…"

"It's impossible to swim back to my village when I'm swaddled like an infant. Not to mention that the thread is still stuck to the lady's finger."

"Oh… that explains a lot. Thanks for dropping the Shakespeare and the false British accent by the way."

Hamlet sighed miserably. "I didn't expect it to get out of hand," he whined.

"You didn't expect the feeding of Words to a giant purple lizard with the goal of destroying your village to get out of hand?"

"Ok, so maybe I could have been smarter, but genetics is such a hard foe to beat."

"So Hamlet says," Hisoka murmured, observing with amusement that he had only four fingers left that were not broken.

"Eh… I'm still here, dudes!"

"…"

"…"

"I just thought you've like to know…"

"…"

"…"

"Oh… never mind…"

Hamlet and Macbeth both shrunk back as Machi turned and advanced towards them again, her eyes shooting daggers.

"Stop her!" Hamlet yelled as he dodged one of the blades.

Kuroro sighed miserably in the rather noble manner of a martyr. "Machi? Remember the cell?"

Machi froze. "Eh… I was just merely going to… eh… eh…"

"Eh what?"

"Girl problem."

"If you say so."

"Lend me your ears, friends," Hamlet begged, deciding that this was the time to bring out his Shakespeare again, "Mark my words! Spare our lives please, and we shall help thee bring down the Monster."

"Yeah! We'll help, so please don't turn me into Parrot Cake!"

Phinx snorted with laughter as Feitan smirked. "What can you do that we can't? We're the Kumo."

"Oh, come on, my dear fellows…"

"We are not your dear fellows…"

"And I find the word 'fellows' highly sexist, you bastard!" Machi fumed.

"Ah… indeed, indeed! Thou art a most lovely lady! A most exquisite creature! A most…"

"If you do continue," Hisoka purred suddenly, "I may be forced to remove your tongue in a highly unpleasant way, an action brought about by my primitive male tendency of possessiveness."

"Oh…"

"The first thing we need to do," Kuroro murmured, fingering his ruined fur, "is to locate the Jug Ness Monster again. This time, I fear, it will not be so easy. He knows we are hunting him now."

There was a long silence again as they all pondered the thought carefully. "Dancho has a plan, right?" Phinx asked finally, "Dancho definitely has a plan, I swear he does… I mean, he's the nerdy one now, now that Shalnark is gone and all…"

"Unfortunately, I do not have a plan."

"But that's against all the rules of Characterization! As the brainy one, you are supposed to be able to come up with a plan, especially in moments of crisis such as this!"

"Alas!" Hamlet cried, "The world is in disorder! For with the creation of the Jug Ness Monster, the order of the world has been displaced and it shall be doomed!" With a sharp cry of grief, he plunged his head into the water and started to blow unhappy bubbles of misery.

"Master! Master!"

"What? I'm trying to be dramatic here!"

"You're supposed to be happy, Master. Your plan was to destroy the village."

"Oh… well… only the village! Not the entire world, so I have the right to grief!" Without further ado, he plunged his head back into the water again and continued blowing bubbles.

"… Know what, Kumo? Let me join you guys. Believe me or not, I am kinda sick of hanging around with Hamlet. Eventually, all the angst gets to your head."

"Join us?" Kuroro raised his exquisitely shaped eyebrow, "But to join the Genei Ryodan, you must either kill one of our members, or be nominated by one of us."

"Hey, listen up, dude! Far as I can see, I'm the only one here with wings, and wings means aerial surveillance, right? So… let's make this temporary then when we finally get the Jug Ness Monster, I get a tiny cut of the pay and you can dump me wherever you like."

"What's the catch?" Phinx demanded suspiciously, "You seem to be asking for little."

"Tell me about it; but the alternative is hanging around with that guy there."

Everyone turned to stare at the mass of bubbles on the surface of the water.

"I see."

"Ok, Macbeth. You've got a deal."

And they shook on that.

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Deep in the forest, the figure trudged, head down, arms hanging by the sides. "I can't believe they did that to me…" the figure mumbled, stumbling over random pieces of log and dirt, "After all I did for them…"

Finally, exhaustion took over, and the figure sat down with a sigh of both relief and misery.

"What shall I do now?" he mumbled, "What shall I be? I am nothing more, nothing more, nothing more."

There was a chattering, squeaky sound to his right and he turned to look.

He stared.

He stared.

He stared again.

"My, my, what a mess," he murmured, then he smiled and added, "As long as you serve me, I shall make this right." Then he smiled even wider and went about doing what he did best.

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