A/N: This chapter was handwritten on my holiday! Show me some sympathy! Oh, how I missed my laptop! How I yearned to post this chapter! At least I got a few reviews while I was away though, so thanks to xEngulfedInDarknessx (again) and russianchikk.
Disclaimer: Not mine, never has been, never will be.
"G'morning, James!" Lily called, as she sat down to breakfast. The other boys exchanged glances.
"What's wrong?" she asked, noticing the looks on their faces.
"Nothing." They all responded quickly. Lily shrugged and helped herself to scrambled eggs.
As breakfast went on, however, it became increasingly obvious that there was something wrong… with James at least. He was unusually quiet, and stared at his feet most of the time.
Remus, Sirius and Peter wore looks of knowing at James' depression, but this didn't comfort Lily at all. On the contrary, it just annoyed her even more.
She looked at him worriedly. James saw her face and tried to smile, but it looked more like a grimace. Lily bit her lip. What was wrong with him?
"I'm off, see you later." She told them, and left the Great Hall. She was half way to the library when she decided that she didn't feel like reading for the entire day, and turned around and walked towards the Entrance Hall.
As she stepped outside the castle walls the wind began to whip at her face, her hair flying everywhere. Still unsure about what she was going to do all day, she walked across the grounds.
One happy thought kept swimming around in her head. I'm going out with James tomorrow night! I'm going out with James tomorrow night! She only hopped that he was slightly happier than he was today…
Suddenly panic exploded in her mind. What if that was why James was so out of it! What if he didn't want to go out with her anymore! She took a deep breath and told herself that it couldn't be true.
Dinner time, and James was just as downhearted as at breakfast. Lily opened her mouth to ask what was wrong, and then closed it again. It's none of my business. She thought. If I need to know, he'll tell me.
As she was thinking about this in the common room, James himself came up to her.
"Lily, can I talk to you a minute?" Lily turned from the fire to look at him. It appeared her questions were about to be answered.
"Oh, sure." He led her to the corner of the common room. James took a deep breath.
"You, uh… You know about Saturday?" he started.
"Yeah."
"Well… Look, Lily, I'm really sorry, but I, uh, can't make it anymore."
"What?" Lily felt faint.
"I… can't come anymore."
"Why not?" said Lily, a hint of anger in her voice.
"Something came up and I just… can't get out of it."
"Yeah? What is it?"
"I, um, can't tell you. I'm really, really sor-"
"Sorry, are you?" Lily refrained from shouting. "Well, what I don't get is why you can't tell me what has 'come up'!"
"I… er… promised."
"PROMISED?" Lily laughed mirthlessly. "Promised WHO, exactly?"
"I kind of can't say that, either."
"Really? Why can't you say?"
"I-"
"Let me guess! You promised. You know what I think? I think this whole thing was a joke you and your mates cooked up! Off you go, and have a laugh with Sirius about it!" Lily felt white hot with rage, yet there was a terrible, aching sadness underneath all the anger. She felt her eyes prickling.
"Why have I been trying to go out with you for years, then, if I think it's all a joke?" retorted James, now firing up too.
"Good point, James. Why, although you've wanted so much to go out with me, did something impossible to tell me about appear out of no where at the same time as out first date? What could be happening, anyway? It's the holidays!"
"WHY'D I KISS YOU, THEN?" yelled James.
"WHY DON'T YOU TELL ME?" Lily had lost control now. She was shouting at the top of her voice, and hot tears were streaming thick and fast down her face. "MAYBE YOU THINK IT'S FUN TO TOY WITH GIRLS EMOTIONS! OR MAYBE YOU JUST WANTED ME FOR-"
"Lily," James cut in, in what seemed the calmest voice possible. "Can't we just reschedule?"
Lily blinked at him. She stared at him for several long moments, then
SLAP! She hit him on the cheek with all the strength she could muster. Then, without another word, she stormed up the stairs to her dormitory and slammed the door.
Lily went to go and sit on her bed, shaking with uncontrollable sobs. Why'd he have to be suck a jerk? Why'd ALL boys have to be such jerks? WHAT COULD COME UP ANYWAY? IT WAS THE FREAKING HOLIDAYS! You could tell he was lying, the insensitive, horrible little toerag.
"I – hate – him." She wept. "I HATE him!" She punched her pillow over and over.
Why had he lied? As much as she hated to admit it, James was right, he had wanted to go out with her for, like, ever. So why had he made up an excuse to get out of it? He'd probably only wanted her for the same reason pretty much all males wanted females…
"He's just a loser. I'm better off without him." She told herself sternly. "I'm just going to read a book, and forget this whole stupid thing ever happened."
She turned to the large pile of books she kept by her bedside table. Of course, on the top had to be the Arithmancy book she'd been obsessing over.
Lily's throat suddenly hurt and tears threatened, but she bit her lip, determined to stay strong. She shoved the book of the desk, and found what she was looking for, an interesting novel about wizards in ancient times.
One of the chapters was about a mentally subnormal wizard called Black. Wondering if he was related to Sirius, she chuckled, then remembered the past half hour.
"Oh, C'mon, Evans! Have a Heart!" Those words had started everything. Well, she'd had a heart, and he'd ripped it to pieces…
She put the book down, switched off the reading lamp and turned around in bed to face the wall, uttering a small sob.
As Lily cried herself to sleep that night, she thought about him. Why did he have to go and spoil everything? Well, she was going to prove he was lying. She was going to get revenge. She was going to sneak up on him in his dormitory tomorrow, and MAKE him confess to lying. And then she was going to hit him. Hard.
He'd made her feel, for the first time in her life, that she was special. That she was worth something. Every time he asked her out was like a spirit raiser to her, it kept her going. She should have known he didn't really like her. She was just plain, boring, muggle-born Lily Evans, and that's all she ever would be.
A/N: Hee hee! This chapter was soooo much fun to write… God - I am evil! Another short one, do you think I'll ever write a chapter again as long as the first one? Lily was a bit out of character, I know, but she needs to get mad, it's important to the 'big plans' I mentioned in Chapter 3 (which you've probably worked out by now, anyway).