Chappy 4:

Woot woot, I heart my first reviewer! Hehe, ya clicked on my story by accident but that's ok because I find that funny and I heart funny! I laughed so hard!  Anyway, thanks for liking the story, I'm awful surprised that you do. And ya like my namey0thingy! Yay for butter! Actually I hate butter, but it is still cool! Yay!

Now I shall do an impersonation of other fan fic writers: "Tell your HP fan friends about my story!" haha….sry, im hyer (obviously, otherwise I wouldn't be writing another chapter! Duh!) Actually I don't care if my readers tell others or not….I just HAD to say that cuz it's funny how ALL the fanfic writers say that….okay I'll stop. On wit da story then! YAY!

So it was around Christmas time now and Hogwarts was all a buzz. If you don't believe me then ask Snape, he was decked out in bright Red with a lion on the front and had frogs hopping from his ears….o no wait, that was a joke the Weasley twins put on him….never mind. So I guess that wasn't Christmas cheer….it wasn't very Christmassy either….poo…..

O well! It was still Christmas, whether or not people were celebrating! Hermione wasn't really in the spirit; she was still studying those notes! Harry was eating candy and humming a song that sounded and awful lot like Happy Birthday. Ron was reading a magazine but he kept getting interrupted by a pimple or two that would burst out in a Christmas carol every five minutes. Neville was painting his nails a nice green, whats-her-name was doing kart wheels round the room, and whats-his-face was trying to climb on top of the fireplace mantel. All was going swell……..until Voldemort came down the chimney instead of Santa Claus.

The common room filled with groans of disappointment. Only one gasp of shock was heard and that was from the girl Voldemort was kissing under the mistletoe…hey that's Hermione! Eeww……..

Anyway, after that….er….exciting kiss, Voldemort jumped over the kart wheeling girl, landed on Ron's magazine(his pimples started to yell) , then he knocked over Neville's nail polish, grabbed Harry and went back up the chimney knocking over the boy who had just managed to climb the mantle.

"wwwaaaaa……a very ugly Santa Claus just took Harry away to his toy factory without giving us any presents!"

"Ron, that wasn't Santa"

"dudes, that was one lazy Santa; you would have thought he could grow his beard back when he comes back from vacation!"

"Lavender, that wasn't Santa"

"Hey, we must have been very bad this year!"

"WWWWAAAAAAAAAa……" (everyone cries)

"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH………..IT WASN"T SANTA CLAUS! FOR CHEESE-SAKE PEOPLE, SANTA DOESN"T EXIST!"

"……………."

"Hermione! Way to ruin our childhood!"

"yeah, you big meany!"

"There's no Santa?"

"wwwaaaaa…..wwaaa…."

"NO! I mean, there is a Santa, but that wasn't him. I just said that because it could grab your attention."

"o"

"How do YOU know that wasn't Santa, the all powerful wizard who makes toys?"

" Because, the real Santa is married to Mrs. Claus. That "Santa" kissed me under the mistletoe!"

"CHEATER SANTA! CHEATER SANTA!" (everyone chants angrily)

Lalalalalala…….

La

Lala

Lalala

Lalalalala……

Meanwhile, back at the evil-doom-lair-of-evilnees-like-death-eaters-dementors-and-the-like, Harry sat with Voldemort discussing their issues over some tea. Voldemort sat on a bright pink pillow and Harry sat on a baby yellow one. Yes, they sat on PILLOWS and the pillows were floating in the air too! They both sipped their tea out of tiny, baby blue cups. Voldemort looked at Potter strangely:

"Why did you make tea for us Potter?"

"Where's Potter? O, I mean…hehe…would you look at that, I am Potter, aren't I?"

"What are you getting at Potter? Of course you are Potter?"

"But how can you be so sure? Can you feel it? I mean, can you really FEEL that I am Potter? Is it in you gut?"

Voldemort closed his eyes and grunted like a pig for a bit. He started jerking around. His tongue hung out and was wagging ferociously.

"YES! I can feel it! Now I shall kill you! Mmuuuaahhhaahaaa….thanks for the tea! It shall be your last…….tea!"

"Wait! I'm not Harry Potter!"

"You're not?"

"You know, you are so sweet…I didn't know you had it in you to say such kind words! Honestly, 'thanks', wow, I'm going to call this day, 'The-Day-EVIL-said-THANKS'! It's Brilliant!"

"Don't get off the subject, are you or aren't you Harry Potter?"

"Maybe maybe not…."

"TELL ME!"

"….i love potions class…."

"I said tell me!"

"….and Hermione…"

"Tell….you love Hermione? But….but…You cant have her! She loves me! I'm the one that kissed her tonight!"

"How dare you!"

"mmmuuuhhhaahhhaaa…."

grumbles

"Now, are you bloody Potter or are you not?"

"Actually, I'm not bloody at all. I didn't get scratched or…."

"No, That's not what I meant!"

"no, that's not what I meant?"

"what?"

"huh?"

"O cut it out!"

"oooooo, you WANT me to be bloody Potter?"

"yes!"

"Well, hand me some scissors…"

"No!ggrrrr…."

"huh?"

"Come on just tell me if your Potter or not and I promise to not hurt you, or bother you again"

"okay"

"….."

"well?"

"well what?"

"uuuhhh….you CANT be serious!"

"Nope. I'm not Sirius, he is dead and gone, no thanks to you!"

"wha? O, gggrrrr…..you irritate me!"

"I'm sorry; here let me give you a back massage…"

"NO! NO! NO! NO! NO! I just want to kill you, Potter."

"…did I mention that I like potions and Hermione?"

"I'd prefer not to get back to that…."

"Well if it wasn't for Hermione and the polyjuice potion in the first place….."

"What? Polyjuice potion?"

"Yeah, we made it in 2nd year."

"That was like….1…2….3…..4…5…6. 6 years ago!"

"Yeah, well we had extras and I always wanted to have a cool looking scar for a day…."

"So you're not Harry?"

"Maybe, maybe not! You have to be sure. Can you FEEL it…."

"O, SHUT UP! I'll just wait for the potion to wear off, then I'll be able to see if you are or not!"

"O goody! That gives me enough time to get you a pink chair, a manicure, a Witch Weekly magazine, a big bear hug, and maybe a few more things….hhmmmm"

"O, farting fries!"