Chapter 6: Thoughts
Goku's eyes glazed, the food making him buzz with excitement. Kerri placed individual plates before everybody without looking directly at them. Ebony beamed at her gratefully, "It looks great Kerri, thankyou." Hakkai was the next to speak "Indeed, thankyou very much." Her face coloured a little, she did not look at Hakkai. She made sure that she wouldn't look him in the eye. Heart full of fear. Something that she just couldn't shake. She looked to her friend Ebony and felt inadequate because she couldn't be as strong. Deep down though Kerri knew that Ebony was just as terrified as she. She watched the facial glimmers of betraying emotion, which every now and then seemed to creep into her features. She looked to Goku, who seemed to share her friend's dilemma. His eyes although seemingly innocent beheld something of a different nature all together. He was confused and in pain. She could feel it from where she stood.
He dug into the rice and immediately let out a deep sigh. "That's good...WOW, you're amazing!" He exclaimed, mouth full of food. Gojyo ate carefully in front of the ladies and scowled at Goku. "Be polite you stupid chibi chimp!" Ebony shook her head and began to slowly eat her food. Kerri bowed to them all and took her place between Sanzo and Ebony. Goku endlessly complimented her cooking, raved about everything he could concerning rice and meat.
The friends all became silent, Gojyo glanced at Goku and secretly smiled to himself. Golden eyes meet scarlet eyes, a flash of something neither of them had ever felt before. Neither of them understood before what it meant to just...feel. Goku felt colour illustrate his cheeks and turned his head away from Gojyo. For once he didn't call him a perverted Kappa, there didn't seem much sense in it after looking into his eyes.
Ebony loved the moment. She was the kind of girl who loved awkward silences. The kind who would prance (Elendur: you said prance Shy-Phantom: Shut up)around and relish in the fact that her behaviour was making everyone else feel uncomfortable. Despite whether anybody noticed or not though, she was no longer that girl. She pretended to be, but couldn't bring herself to be so brave anymore. She looked over to Kerri, eyes to the ground, quietly and slowly eating her food while Goku devoured beside her. She couldn't figure it out, maybe Kerri was braver than her, didn't directly show her fear but they could all see it. Was partial to taking help from Ebony, but Ebony could not tolerate that. She wouldn't ask for help from anybody, she was scared about the result of doing so. A contradiction, perhaps that wasn't the best kind of attitude to possess. All the more, she admired Kerri for her courage. What a strong girl, such a brave soul. She loved her like a sister and she would not hesitate to let her know that. Sanzo turned and retreated to his paper, hiding his violet eyes from everyone else, shielding himself from the gaze of Hakkai's sister.
Hakkai stood and excused himself, he had stopped eating. He wandered from the group, leant against the rough bark of a tree. He was completely still, frozen in his own thoughts. Hands on the bark, splinters in his fingers. Green eyes set on nothing but full of something. He looked absently to his sister and the young woman beside her. Kanan occupying his thoughts again, her smile, the scent of her hair. Like carefully woven silk in the atmosphere, an angel. Gojyo leant against the tree beside Hakkai, deeply inhaling the smoke from his cigarette. He let his eyes drift to Hakkai and decided not to rest his hand on the other man's shoulder. What could he do for Hakkai when he got like this? Nothing. Felt inadequate. Like he didn't matter. Goku's golden eyes burning into his body like a bullet laced with blood. The green-eyed Hakkai turned to Gojyo and blinked "Something wrong?" He asked tonelessly. "Nope, just thought I'd smoke away from the ladies." Said Gojyo quickly, he crushed the glowing red cigarette under his heel and pushed strands of his scarlet hair back under his bandana. "Somethin' botherin' you Hakkai?" He asked casually. "Nothing that should be anybody else's problem" he replied with that radiant smile of his. Gojyo nodded, unconvinced but didn't show it.
Sanzo looked over the top of his page to Kerri and Goku. He was excitedly discussing with her the techniques that he had acquired in training and the ones that he had chosen to teach her. Kerri sat beside him looking a little overwhelmed. She smiled with her eyes closed and that made her look very happy indeed. Penetrating violet eyes dug deeper, scratched the surface. Found her hurt, spied the pain. He lit another cigarette and perched it between his lips, turned the pages of his paper like he didn't care. Ebony, minding her own business eating her food quietly. Her nails blunt, her face daunt. Like something out of a vampire story. Hadn't slept the night before, Sanzo heard her desperate pleads from the other room. Shifted in his seat like he had done with his eyes to check if anybody was awake. They weren't. Shrugged it off. Penetrating violet eyes dug deeper, scratched the surface. Spied her pain, discovered the hurt. He turned the pages of his newspaper like he didn't care. Repeating the same defence mechanism over and over.
"Hakkai," Ebony rose from her seat and joined Gojyo and her brother. "Is there something wrong Hakkai?" He let his head drop a little, picked up the mask and played the positive older brother. "Nothing Ebony, nothing at all. Just a little tired." He explained with a smile. He wasn't fooling anybody, Gojyo and Ebony exchanged glances that shared their understanding of the pain that Hakkai was in. She - unlike Gojyo - made the risk of touching his shoulder and took his hand. Playfully dragging him back to the table. "So eat, stupid." Said his sister Goku laughed, Gojyo grinned, Kerri smiled and Sanzo turned another page. /Tight arse/ She thought to herself looking at Sanzo.
Conversation buzzed around the circle of companions, laughter and arguments rose and fell. The trees shivering in the breeze. Kerri sat alone absorbing the conversation rather than involving herself within it. Hakkai touched her hand without looking at her. She stared at him, the power limiters sparkling in the sunlight, shimmering hair. His eyes straight ahead as he retracted his hand. An encouragement to be a part of the fun, didn't look at her because he knew that she didn't want him to. The glass monocle set over his damaged eye. A battle wound of the fight for love and a barrier against all those who tried to dig into his heart. He let that guard down for his sister Ebony at times. Mostly he thought that perhaps this might be a mistake.
Shy-Phantom – This is all mine, isn't is good?
Elendur – You're really good at this sort of thing.
Shy-Phantom - Bows thankyou my dear.