Alrighty lets starty the nexty chappy instead of studying for testy westy!
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Where was I?
……..Oh yes! I left off with Parsley Hayer Riddle.
So here it goes….NOW:
Parsley Hayer Riddle…..was OFF to see the wizard! The wonderful wizard of….the Dark Arts. MMmmuuaaahhhaaaa…………..and she found him. As I said in the last chapter. And he gave her the name: Parsley Hayer Riddle. She liked the name. It suited her evilness. It was….evil. As you know reader, Parsley is her first name.
Daddy-Voldie gave her that name because his FAVORITE food is Parsley. It's so green and….green. Plus, horses eat it. Voldie is really attracted to horses, why else would he fall in love with the horse-looking Petunia in the last chapter, which itself was based on horses? SO, Hayer was her middle name because "er" is what Harry says a lot and he Had to counter it, and "Hay" is again, related to horses. Riddle is her last name, but NOT becausehis last name was Riddle! (remember, he hated that name!) It is Riddle because on the first day they met, she happened to blow into fire his beloved riddles book on horses, just by looking at it! He was sad for his book, a funeral was conducted, she was grounded and was not aloud to look at anything for a week, and he choose the name thus. He also had a minor, second middle name for her: Eek, because that was a cool city in Alaska. So her whole name is really Parsley Hayer Eek Riddle. Plus she had to have an evil name for when she is doing evil things. Voldemort resorted to the internet and found and evil name generator. On this site he was able to give her this evil name: Flamewitch The Sorcerous of the MagicBlaze. Plus, she needed a name for a disguise. He then resorted to the quick character name generator and gave her: Haurodrothaur.
So he taught her lessons of dark evilness. And she was so ready that she published a few evil books titled things like: Uga-Boga, Ima Gonn Aget U, and Potter will soon be a Planter. She found her titles to be especially creative.
Anyway, she meets Harry Potter as Haurodrothaur. She pretends to be his friend for about a year or so. Meanwhile, she tells Daddy-Voldie EVERYTHING. She even told him about the time he picked her nose for her, their first "kiss" together, and the time Harry clogged the toilet….but enough of that, you get the point. Harry is obviously in love with Haurodrothaur.
Haurodrothaur is evil.
Harry Potter is not.
That is a problem.
He picked a slit for a nose and yet it still doesn't register that something is not right.
He gazes into her RED eyes and yet remains oblivious.
He struts and flips his hair and poses in his beloved hero stance, way more than he should, and just for her.
Haurodrothaur is evil.
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Harry Potter is stupid.
NO! Harry! Stay away from the Red and balck light! Nnnnnnnnnnnoo………..
It's too late. Harry Potter is ………………..
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Gothic.
And if I'm not mistaken, soon to become dead, fried and sauted shrimp bits (with a dusting of brown sugar) for a couple of slit-nose-red-eye-ugly-evil-too-many-names-family-members.
AAAAAAAAaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!
BE AFRAID.
I AM.
AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH……………….