I hate research papers….so on to another (probably very short) chapter!
It was a dark, cold, and dreary night….like it always is in a scary place. Parsley, I mean, Haurodrothaur. (sshh..shes in disguise), well, she was climbing a giraffe's neck. It was a very big neck. But it was warm and the air was cold so she clung to it like a milk carton clings to an envelope. She crippty, crawled up and up, till she reached the head. The head stuck out a LONG, slimy thing and licked her face so hard that she went flying acroos the world all the way back to Britan. Giraffe travel is common with the dark wizards you see. How else was she supposed to get from her dads secret headquarters in Africa, all the way to Hogwarts, and in less than a day? I know, it's impossible, without a handy giraffe.
So she had just come back from a night of telling her father secrets. It was a very secretive and whispery time in the desserts of Africa. Except for the war dance they participated in with the neighboring African tribe. They had no idea the dance was preparation for a war on themselves! Maybe that was part of the trick…the enemy invites the enemy for a dance then attempts murder. Luckily, the tribe only had wooden clubs to beat them with and they were able to escape out of there places on the fire. Voldemort had always thought his neighbors were nice…why they picked that random moment to try to eat them, he'll never know. Anyway, the dance/trick/treachery/neighborly love gave him a marvelous idea. He was feeling rather splendid about it. He hatched his plan like you would hatch a dinosaur egg. Then he told Parsley and then she was Giraffe traveled back to Britain.
She had already won Harry's love, and he was now gothic. Gothicness made him feel positively splendid, just like every other Goth would feel. The only thing was, he wasn't REALLY Goth. For example, instead of black and red, he wore gray and brown. He also adored wearing this hideous makeup around his eyes that was supposed to make his eyes look wider. He already had bug-eyes to begin with!
Okay, so Harry loves mirrors and Haurodrothaur. So which is his final betrayer?
Yeah, I don't know either.
SO, Haurodrothaur's plan is to have a party! Yay! It's party time! Bring out the chocolate milk and tennis shoes! Don't forget the walrus or the spell checker!
So anyway, this is her invitation:
To Harry,
Your invited! Yur invited! UR invited!
HIHO hippity, we're gonna PARTAY!
Who: YOU
What: a party!
When: next Tuesday
Where: a yard
Why: because the yard will be green with grass
How: by flying through a portkey(it's a mirror)
So Harry decided to go because of two reasons: 1) a mirror is his portkey! Yay! 2)THE GRASS IN THE YARD IS GREEN! If that's not a good reason to celebrate, I don't know what is!
So next Tuesday roles around and he is fascinated by the portkey, and goes to the party. The party takes him to a very green yard. YYYEESSS!
"YAY for green", Harry says!
Haurodrothaur smirks and changes it to red.
"NNnnnooooo…."
"yyeess" Vlodemort says as he comes out of the now blood red earth.
"NNnnnnoooo…."
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
"O fine, have it your way, I don't see why the grass HAS to be red, I mean, green is a MUCH better party color, don't you think Haurodrothaur?"
"I am not Haurodrothaur"
"Yes you are"
"no, im not"
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
"NO"
"FINE, I'll never get my way around here? What is your name then, my love?"
"im not your love."
"yes you are"
"No"
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
"NO"
"YES"
"NO"
"FINE! I clearly don't know you! Who are you and what is voldemort doing here?"
"I am her father"
"oh really? Well that explains the red eyes, the red grass…the RED!"
"yup"
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"So….what about the party?"
"There is no party, only a murder."
"of….me?"
"yup"
"oh"
"yup"
"When?"
"NOW"
It was a sunny, gay, green day, as it always is on good days. They sun was bright. The grass was green….and Harry had just scared Voldemort and his daughter away. How? Well, by merrily giving his last words. They made the stupid mistake that all villains make, by saying, "Any last words" before killing him. Harry had said, "Actually, there's is a few things I'd like to say…." And after about an hour of his speech they ran. I feel asleep after a while of it, but I will tell you of the words I did hear:
"I'd like to say that, I tried, dear Mrs. Puffs. I'm sorry Mr. Kleenex and good riddance Miss Cottonelle! I'd like my parents to know that I'm on my way to see them"(he breaks into tears) "And I'd like my owl, Hedwig, to enjoy her retired life…she deserves it that ol' bird." (he chuckles a bit and then crys) "I'll miss my friends, Hermione, Ron, and Ginny. Have fun fFred and George…." (yadda yadda) "I'd like to thank all the little people for believing in me and my heroicness. I'm sorry I let you guys down….." (more yadda) "Oh! I almost forgot! I'd like for us to remember that special day in the hardware store, man, those were some good times… And the time I slid down that one slide! Yeah, that was fun….. Oh, that reminds me of the time I went out to eat and I ate! Wow, the things you remember when you're about to die…." (more and more yadda) "…I just would NOT stop peeing on that old lady……" (this is the part where I start to doze off so the words aren't pieced well) "……that was a fun time too, especially when I brought out that one glass jar and used it to sled down that hill! Good times…good times………and before I die id like to remember the poor bee I stepped on when I was 5. I'm sorry bee. Please don't sting me when I join you up there…………………..(im asleep, evil people run, I wake up at the end of the speech) "And lastly, I'd just like to recall the time that the flashlight worked in the woods, and the time that I thought I was in Asia but I was really just in the middle of the road, and, of course, the time I listened to the wind and sang the Pocahontas song then ran inside the Hogwarts castle and painted my legs red so I would have skin the color of the Indian people. Goodbye fair world…Goodbye. I shall miss you and all the fond memoris….hey! Where are my killers? Oh well, guess I'm alive for a bit longer. I recite my 'nevermind-I'm-still-here-speech'. I shall begin with…."
And that's where I flat out gave up listening to him! I don't want to hear anymore! Phew that was an exhausting write up there! I'm going to sleep now. I'm tired. Poop to yoop you stupid research paper! POOP TO YOOP! Aarrggghhh….I give up on writing that thing! I'll just fail! Bye people! Thanks for reading my nonsense and thanks for enjoying it, or hating it!