Note: I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist, or any other intellectual properties. They are all copyrights of their respectful owners. The rest, however, is MINE, BEE-YOTCHES!
tomdj1701 – Thanks.
Phoenix Hoshika – I'm only human, yes. But be aware that I'm no slacker; when I'm dedicated to something, I really get into it. That's my mantra.
Dimitri Plabato – Spread the word, my friend!
Wing Omega – The characters I made up. As for why there's an all-girls class, the real reason is yet to be determined.
Jimmy Bonez – Thanks for the heads up.
Drgnmastr-Alex – That was the original premise for the project, but now it turned out to be more than that.
VoidHawk – I'm glad to see that you dropped by, my friend.
J-chan Hagane no Chibisan – I'm working. I just need a better way to preview the next chapter.
The phone rang.
The loud, incessant ringing pounded Ed's ears as if a barrage of fists went into his brain and it just never stopped. Ed was forced off his bed by the ringing, and he groaned and mumbled as he dragged his limp, lifeless body to the phone at the living room, which was about a minute of groggy, mummy walking through his apartment. He finally went to pick up the phone.
"Mmm-ello-mmmm…." Ed groaned at the brass headpiece.
"Is this the Elrics' apartment?" Said a voice at the other line. Ed picked it up and found it to be quite familiar.
"Colonel Mustang?" Ed mumbled.
"Tell me something, Ed." Roy replied at the other end. "Why haven't I made an appearance yet? All I got before was a mention and I had high hopes of at least having a good cameo. So, where's my part?"
"You woke me up at 6:00 in the morning for that?" Ed responded, growing more furious by the second, knowing very well this call was trivial, and he could just hang up on the spot.
"Am I even getting one, or is it just you and your personal harem?" Roy asked.
"Damn it." Ed answered. "You know the answer to that, now stop bothering me!" Ed hung up in a huff.
Roy looked at the bronze headpiece he was holding, and then he put it back on the phone's base. He sighed.
GYRAX Presents…
Fullmetal Sensei Edward Elric! Volume 1
Lesson 2:The Feminine Touch
"BWA HAHAHA HAHA!" Ed laughed off any breath he had in his lungs. He gasped for a moment, trying in vain to hold off his maniacal laughter. "Oh God! Oh God! This is way too freaking hilarious!"
"Brother?" Al said.
"Did you read this article?" Ed still tried to hold his laughter back, but to no avail. He handed a newspaper over to his suit of armor younger brother. Al closely examined the newspaper until he found an article that caught his interest.
"'Psiren broke out of prison, only to be arrested five minutes later'?" Al read it out loud. The way he said it give off the impression that he really hasn't bought the story quite yet.
"Funny article, huh?" Ed replied. "Five minutes after her escape, she slipped off a roof, slid on a gutter, and fell on a wheel barrel. The wheel barrel then rolled down a hill and crashed into an oncoming car and she flew off and fell in a trashcan, where she was caught again." Ed started laughing again. "BWAHAHAHA!"
"I hardly find that funny, Brother." Al responded. When he first came across the article, memories of their encounter with Ms. Clara came rushing back like a flood bursting from a broken dam. He was convinced up and down that she was doing what she did for the good of others, like a modern day Robin Hood. Whatever his brother said about her he tried so hard to get out of his head, because according to his beliefs, those words weren't true at all. Ms. Clara had to have some good in her, right? Her motives go deeper than just stealing for the sake of stealing, isn't that true?
Al took another good look at the article and started to read it for real. He came across something else that caught his eyes. "A higher up in the military recommend her as a potential state alchemist, but she'll need her skills to be refined. The answer was to be an assistant teacher at Fullmetal Alchemist Edward Elric's newly established alchemy class in East City." He turned to his pint-sized older brother. "Brother, Ms. Clara's going to be our assistant! Isn't that great?"
"BWA HAHAHAHA…ha?" Ed's laughing stopped after immediately. His mood dropped from laughing-his-ass-off to pure disbelief. He forcefully swiped the newspaper from Al and read the article at his own turbo-drive speed. He came across the same thing that caught Al's interest and transformed his expression again, this time from disbelief to pure horror from the revelation before him. He did NOT like what he read. "SHE'S COMING HERE?"
"Isn't that great, Brother?" Al asked, obviously ecstatic over the "good news"; at least it's good news to him.
"GET YOUR BRAIN OUT FO THE GUTTER!" Ed shouted. "DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH HARDER IT'S GOING TO BE WITH HER AROUND?"
"Don't be like that." Al answered. "I'm sure she'll behave." He was still clinging to his beliefs of her alleged pure motives.
"And I have egg in my shoes!" Ed retorted.
"I saw scrambled egg in your shoes this morning." Al said jokingly.
"NO YOU DIDN'T!" Ed screamed. Then, they heard squealing from the cafeteria, which was now just ahead. Now alert, they quickly dashed over to the cafeteria, where the class was taking place, but a girl with curly brown hair cut them off. Her bangs parted from the center of her face and two thin wavy strands went over her ears. Her eyes seemed to be closed.
Ed looked up at her; she was apparently pretty tall for a girl. "Student #14, Natsume Ishikawa?"
"I see you're remembering our names." She said in quite a cheerful tone. "Anyway, you gotta see this. It's the cutest thing, ever!" She took Ed by the hand and dragged him to where the class was. Al followed suit, making sure that he wouldn't be too far from him.
Natsume stopped at a crowd of Ed's students; a lot of them were happily clamoring over something. She let Ed go and went over to the crowd.
"Sensei's here!" Natsume exclaimed enthusiastically. "Quick! Give him the picture!"
The other students force a picture onto Ed. He had no choice but to take it. He examined it closely, but it wasn't long until something clicked in his head. Then, just one word managed to escape from his mouth. "…Crap."
"What's wrong, brother?" Al asked, as he began to worry about his brother, judging from his mood.
Two more words got out of Ed's mouth. "Lieutenant Colonel."
"Heya, Ed!" Lt. Colonel Maes Hughes greeted, while giving out photos to the sparkly-eyed crowd of awe-stricken young girls. "They can't get enough of my little Elysia!"
"This is a class, damn it!" Ed shouted. "And the bell's about to ring!"
"I just wanted to congratulate you on your new job and go back to work; I have a newly developing case I have to deal with," Hughes replied. "But these girls insisted on me giving out photos of my Elysia. Of course, I was happy to oblige."
"Somehow, I knew that." Ed responded. "Anyways, thanks for that. I'll need all the compliments I can get to boost my morale. I'm dealing with a whole gaggle of troublemakers here." He turned to the clamoring girls. "Alright, time to give Hughes back the photos. He has to go back to work." The girls all uttered a mass pouting as they gave the Lieutenant Colonel back his photos seemingly in defeat. They really did want to keep the photos, their disappointment obviously showing as the last of the photos was returned.
"Sorry about that, Hughes." Ed spoke.
"It's ok. I'm glad to see how many people could be on the same wavelengths as me." Hughes said jokingly. "Well, I'm off now. And one more thing: I hope your new assistant won't pose any trouble to you."
"So Ms. Clara's really coming here?" Al was ecstatic at this point.
"You met her?" Hughes replied.
"You can say that." Ed answered. Every time he thought about Clara, he thought of Psiren, the Phantom Thief. She was a nuisance through and through. The small state alchemist had to go through a lot of crap to stop her and preserve the good name of Alchemy. Add to it that she even managed to make a fool of him once, so he worked even harder to catch her. He almost drowned rising that large hand from the canal's floor and grasping her like she was his own prized possession. Quite a lot to stop her, and Al's defending her actions with some excuses that were supposed to be possible reasons didn't help, either. Now, he found out that he did all that to catch her, only to find out that he practically has to baby-sit her. The thought of it made him want to puke.
"That'll save us the trouble of introducing her." Hughes replied casually, taking no notice to Ed's current displeasured position. He turned to leave the cafeteria. "Good luck, Ed. And one more thing."
"What?" Ed asked.
Hughes suddenly turned serious. Ed picked this up right away, and he knew there that it couldn't be good news. "There's supposed to be a state alchemist killer running around here. I don't have the time to disclose any more info, but I'll tell you this: for all our sakes, I hope this case is solved before your students graduate." He left, leaving an unusually gloomy air behind. Ed was breathing in this air, and it made him feel concerned.
Al turned away from the girls when he sensed Ed's current mood. He went over to check up on things, to make sure his brother is all right. "What's wrong, Brother?"
"Nothing," Ed replied, to assure Al that there's no real problems here. He didn't want Al to feel like he did. "I was just thinking of something. Now let's get ready for class. The bell will probably ring any second, and we have some teaching to do."
"Sure," Al complied. He decided to play along, not wanting to drag whatever matter was bothering his brother. They both walked over to their desk in front of the class, and sure enough, the bell rang.
(O)
"All right, girls." Ed spoke to the class as he resided behind his desk. "Before we start our lessons, I have an announcement to make." The girls were paying plenty of attention to him, some paying too much. "Al and I are going to have a new assistant teacher come into class today, so I would like you all to welcome her. The thing is, she was supposed to already be here. She's running late."
"Deadbeat!" A student yelled from the back.
"Cut it out!" Ed shouted back. He cleared his throat to speak again, but was cut short by another voice.
"You're saying she's a WOMAN?" Said a voice, this one was closer to him Ed turned and saw Enya with her brows slanted into the anger position.
"Yeah, she's a woman." Ed answered. "You have a problem with that, then you'll have to deal with it. I don't want to have any more trouble then I'll have to deal with."
"You met her?" Lebia asked.
"Yeah, I did." Ed replied, growing increasingly angry. "AND I WISH I DIDN'T! AAAAAAGH!"
"Come on, Brother." Al interjected. "She's not that bad."
"YOU STILL HONESTLY THINK THAT AFTER ALL THE CRAP SHE PUT US THROUGH?" Ed retorted.
"As a matter of fact, I do!" Al spat back.
"WELL, YOUR BRAIN'S BROKEN!"
"YOUR BRAIN'S BROKEN!"
"Ahem!" Apparently, it was a female who cleared her voice. Ed and Al turned to their right, where the sound resonated from, and saw "her".
Clara was dressed in a dark red suit, with a white button shirt underneath and a darker red tie tucked nicely in her blazer. Her skirt extended almost down to her knees, and gray stockings covered her legs. Black high heels were worn over her feet. Her hair was put up in a cute bun, and she was wearing glasses over her eyes. She gave a stern look at Ed and Al, who were just bickering a second ago. Then, she put her hands on her hips. "Do I have to put you two in time out?"
"We're the teachers here, damn it!" Ed snapped.
"Oh my!" Ms. Clara took a step back. "That is not the tone you use on me, mister!"
Suddenly, Enya walked up to her, with her thin eyebrows slanted in the anger position, wrinkles formed around her eyes to intensify an expression of pure irritation. She stared at Ms. Clara, and hard too. She looked back at Ed and pointed at her. "Who the hell is that?"
"She's my assistant, Ms. Clara." Ed replied, trying to regain his composure for the sake of teaching the class professionally.
Enya looked back at Ms. Clara. "You better not do ANYTHING to Sensei, or I'll shove my ice skates so far up your-"
WHAP!
"That's enough, Milosovich!" Lebia said. Apparently, she had just whacked Enya with one of her favorite dancing fans. She looked at the older Elric. "Pardon us, Mr. Ed. It's just that aside from me and the rest of the 'Sisterhood of Seven', she can't stand other women, especially older ones."
"That isn't going to make things any easier." Ed sighed.
"So, you still after the Philosopher's Stone?" Clara whispered into his ears.
"Of course I am." Ed replied, very sure of his answer. "Why would I ever say otherwise?"
"Being a teacher will seriously get in the way of you little stone hunt." She whispered back. "Of course you know that, right?"
"Yeah." Ed answered. "I'll have to compensate for that. I can always take the rest of the day to manage my schedule. I'm sure I can fit 'searching for answers' in there somewhere."
"Besides," Al added. "It isn't like we won't learn anything from teaching these girls in the end. And besides, they need our guidance."
"We'll definitely learn something about what makes girls tick." Ed sighed once again. "But Al's right; we can't turn away from them now. They have their own dreams to fulfill, after all, and we'll just have a huge chip on our shoulders."
All of a sudden, Enya, our orange-haired, yellow-eyed wonder girl poked her nose into the conversation. "It looks like you guys are acting awfully chummy with her. I thought you guys didn't want her presence."
"That's rude!" Clara snapped. "Eavesdropping on others' conversations like that."
"Really, Milosovich." Ed added. "Get back to your seat. I'm about to give lessons in just a second. And what's with the clamoring in the back? I thought Hughes went back to work." A gaggle of students bunched up and gathered around a single spot in the back.
"That's just Little Ms. Ford's new dragon pen." Natsume answered. "She got it yesterday. Honda-san insisted she pick the item up; they both found it lying on the street near the outskirts of East City before they signed up for the seminars. Rumor has it that the pen is worth a fortune. However, she decided to turn the item over to the military where they'll put it into safekeeping until the real owner is found."
"That's nice and all, but can you please tell them that class has started?" Ed requested.
"Sure thing." Natsume complied. She casually walked over to inform the others that class has already begun and they were to take their seats immediately. They complied, some pouting because they wanted to see more of whatever Student #25 Henrietta Ford was holding.
Ed turned to Henrietta. "And can you please put that item away? It's distracting the other students."
"Okies, Sensei." Henrietta replied, as she put the pen in her skirt's right pocket. Henrietta Ford was the younger of the Ford sisters that signed up for the class. Her hair was blonde and it extended down to her shoulders. It parted from the center of her face and covered her ears. Her right eye was blue while her left one was brown. This was a rare case among people known as heterochromia iridium, where two eyes are different colors from one another. It was a trait distinguishing enough to have Ed himself distracted for a second; he hasn't really seen anyone with that condition in person. Then he snapped out of the small trance and went back to lecturing.
Clara, however, had a smirk freely draw itself across her face.
(O)
Today was Wednesday of the class's fist week, and Ed was still giving out lectures and handing out assignments covering the first of three parts of basic alchemy, which is Understanding Matter. The girls had to do exercises pertaining to what certain elements were made of. At the time, Ed also threw in a lesson on one of the most important, if not THE most important law of basic alchemy, Equivalent Exchange.
Ms. Clara was to check up on the students' progress and point out any errors. Except by the time she went to Henrietta, her own objective changed in a flash; she just wants the pen, now. And funny enough, Henrietta was writing her assignments with the dragon pen.
The Dragon Pen was blue in the middle. The cap of the pen was pure gold with a dragon holding it, seemingly for its dear life, hence the name "Dragon Pen". The tip was also solid 24 karat gold. Clara couldn't take her eyes off it, even if she tried. It would be below her to take something valuable from someone if it was private property, for it wasn't her mantra. However, Henrietta decided to turn it to the military for safekeeping later because she decided it wasn't hers, and it would be better if the real owner had it. Clara's excuse then would be that she could take it while it was in the Military's safekeeping. To her, that would count as taking something from a facility most like a museum, which was more like her. She decided to stick with that excuse, but she surprisingly decided to take a different action; she just wanted to hold the splendorous beauty.
Ms Clara approached little Henrietta. "Excuse me, Ms. Ford, but can you hand over the pen to me? I can take it off your hands and put into safekeeping myself, to save you the trouble of having to do that on your own."
"Oh, no you don't!" Ed shouted, as he quickly approached Ms. Clara at a hyperactive running pace. "Ms. Ford, don't let her have the pen. Her fingers are sticky, if you know what I mean. Let me safe keep it."
"Okies, Sensei." Henrietta replied. She handed the Dragon Pen over to Ed. "I hope you don't have sticky fingers, too."
"Don't worry about me." Ed assured her. "I'm no thief."
"You don't think Clara would go that low to steal anything from one of our students, do you?" Al asked, hoping for the right answer.
"Actually, I do." Ed answered, which was not what Al wanted to hear. "She showed exactly what lengths she'd go to steal something that valuable."
"I'm done, Sensei." Natsume said from a distance.
"Hold on, I'll come check on it in a minute." Ed replied. He turned back to Ms. Clara. "I'm keeping an eye on you. Don't try anything funny. And I'll KNOW when you'll try to steal this item again, as it's in my custody at the moment."
Clara just glared at him for the moment. Al's stare wasn't as hard, but you could hardly tell that because of the helmet that's supposed to be his head.
"After class, I'll be turning this over to the military myself. Understand, Ms. Clara?" Ed turned back to look at her dead in the eyes. Clara was still glaring at him for the moment, and the students that were already done with their class work were now starting to poke their noses into the affair that unraveled before them.
(O)
"It's safe, now." Al assured his elder brother, as he walked out of Lt. Hawkeye's office.
"I might stay up tonight just to be sure," Ed replied. "Because you can't be too careful."
"Isn't that why you suggested that we hand it over to Lt. Hawkeye?" Al asked as a response.
"Yeah," Ed agreed. "Bu to be safe, I want to stick around."
"You're really up in arms about this, Brother." Al replied.
"Of course I am." Ed answered. "Especially because of the added pressure; if she steals something, she won't get punished this time; I will because I failed to accept responsibility. It's just a big mess; that's all it is."
"You're stressing out Brother." Al said. "We just need to keep our composure and see this all through. It won't be that much of a problem."
"Easy for you to say." Ed replied. "You don't have it nearly as bad as I do."
"Well," Al responded. "I think you're worrying too much. Just relax a bit; you'll live a longer life."
"All right, I'll relax." Ed conceded. "How about we find a place to hide, so we can watch over her?"
"All right, Brother." Al agreed. As much as he's for Clara's motives, or what he thought were her motives, he couldn't let her steal any more. There just seemed to be no reasons for her to go around being a thief anymore, because she was placed in a new and more wholesome position. Then again, now that she was an assistant, chances of her wanting to steal may have lessened. The two brothers couldn't take any chances though; Clara was quite an unpredictable woman.
(O)
Night fell upon East City, and the moon shone a blue light upon the place, except the light pollution from the city made it difficult to see whether or not the moon was shining any light at all. As they discussed, the Elric brothers were hiding behind a bush near where Hawkeye's offices was, hoping to catch Psiren in the act. So far, nothing really happened.
"I was expecting her to be here, already." Ed complained, keeping his voice to minimum decibels.
"You think she may have found another way in?" Al suggested. "Maybe she used alchemy to sneak in." Deep inside though, Al was hoping that maybe she wouldn't really steal anymore.
"That's a possibility." Ed complied. Ed knew damn well that she'd come. Just by looking at her when she saw the Dragon Pen, he had enough proof.
Suddenly, they heard earsplitting gunshots from the office. Suddenly, they saw her; Psiren got out of the window, and she fell right on to the ground. This surprised Ed and Al; they didn't expect to see her crash, as she wasn't the type to be so clumsy. Psiren recovered fast and ran away. The two Elrics saw an expression of pure dread in her face. She was obviously afraid of something, which explained her clumsiness. Just then, they saw Riza chasing her down, shooting at her. And now they knew why Psiren was so frightened.
"Give that back, now!" Riza demanded, firing a couple more rounds at the thief.
This time, Psiren wasn't just running for her freedom, she was running for her LIFE. This was definitely a first for her. "Damn you, Edward Elric! How dare you leave something that precious in the custody of a psychopath?"
Ed ran from behind the bush that he and his brother were hiding behind. "Come on, Al! We have to stop her!"
"Right." Al complied, as he followed his brother out of the bush and into the street.
Psiren was now holding a water balloon; she intended on throwing at her pursuers. Before Riza shot again, the thief tossed the water balloon behind her. Out of the blue, the balloon exploded in a burst of vapor, which engulfed Riza, as well as the Elrics, forcing them to shield their eyes.
"Damn!" Ed cursed. "She used alchemy to evaporate all the water in that balloon!"
"We must hurry!" Riza commanded. "We can't let her get away with that pen!"
Psiren just grinned as she put more and more distance between her and her pursuers. She kept running, but she didn't see what was in front of her, so as a result, she bumped into a male figure. Not only did the figure fall backwards, but Psiren also fell forwards, ending up on top of him.
The pursuers went out of the vapor cloud in time to see it happen. After they approached Psiren, they realized that the man she was on top of was Colonel Roy Mustang.
Roy tried to get up, but he quickly found out that his efforts were for naught; a woman was actually on top of him. First thing he did, though was rub his head; his head bumped on the hard brick street when Psiren fell on him. Then, he took a good hard look at the woman on top of him. Needless to say, her beauty enraptured him.
"Well, aren't you a looker?" Roy remarked. This made the nubile thief blush. The colonel continued. "And you fell right on top of me. It's a miracle from the skies above."
"Why thank you." Psiren replied. "I work hard to attain this beauty."
"And it paid off." Roy said in response. "Every physical aspect seems to be fine tuned."
"COLONEL?" Ed screamed, his rage in the brink of a meltdown. "SHE'S A DAMN THIEF!"
"She may steal like a thief," Mustang replied. "But she's always a woman to me."
"Colonel Mustang!" Riza shouted.
"However," Roy said. "The Dragon Pen is military property at the moment." With that, he snatched the pen right out of Psiren's right hand. Then he pushed her off of him, stood back up, and threw the pen at Lt. Hawkeye; she caught it nicely.
Ed and Al just stared at him, attempting to analyze the past scenario and figure out what just happened here. It wasn't long until they did, though; they do catch on fast.
"You had me startled there, Colonel." Ed remarked. "I thought you really fell for her."
"Please, Ed." Roy said. "You underestimate me. I was only out here to make sure the pen remained in proper custody. It is in the military's custody, and if anything were to happen to it, I would be the one to take the blame for failing to accept any responsibility for guarding the said item."
"You knew this would happen, did you?" Ed sweat dropped.
"I'm pulling any strings here, so don't jump to anything." Roy answered.
"You're a slime ball, you know that?" Psiren said.
"Ouch." Roy replied. "You shouldn't go and hurt people's feelings like that."
Psiren only growled at him, with a vein popping up in her forehead. "Do you even know the predicament I'm in right now?"
"Nope." Roy answered casually.
"You should," The thief replied. "Because I'm trying to get the money needed to pay the expenses here. The apartment you guys gave me is nice and all, but it's too expensive. If I don't pay up, I won't even have a home to go to, and I'll just be another wandering soul, with no place to call home. I'll be combing the streets in rags, wondering where my next meal will come from. I'll have to resort to thievery."
"But you already ARE a thief!" Ed retorted.
"That's not the point!" Psiren spat back. "The point is that unless I pay up, I'll be homeless."
"See, Brother?" Al added. "I told you her motives were good."
"Not really." Ed answered back. "Because you see, because she's our assistant teacher, the military gave her an apartment free of charge."
"My apartment is free?" The thief's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates.
"Yep." The older Elric answered. "But guess why." He pauses for a moment, expecting any answer Psiren would mutter out, he got nothing, so he continued. "Because I have to pay for all the expenses that go with my teaching position; they're practically draining my account!"
"Oh…" Clara trailed off at the thought of that. It was safe to say now that her plans were officially foiled…again.
(O)
"Do I have to have this thing on?" Ms. Clara whined, as Thursday's class was about to begin. Because of the incident from last night, she was forced to wear a tracking device around her left ankle. It was there to make sure that she didn't do anything else stupid. The small light on it was blinking a bright red at half-second intervals, indicating that it was indeed working.
"Yes you do, or else you'll steal something again, and I'll have to be punished." Ed answered.
Enya went over to the two, and glared hard at Ms. Clara. "You better not try anything funny on Sensei, you got it?"
"Sit down, Milosovich." Ed commanded. Enya had to comply, and so she sat at her designated seat on one of the cafeteria tables. Ed then turned to his feminine assistant. "All I can say for now is behave and good luck. It's going to get ugly from here." He left her at the teacher's desk to talk to Al about today's lessons.
All she could do right now was take Ed's advice; unless she did behave, it will all go down from there.
Lesson 1 End
So, what do you think? Any comment is appreciated.
(Next Time)
Fullmetal Sensei Edward Elric! Volume 1
Lesson 3: The Sisterhood of SevenSeven endearing young women,
Seven truly gifted alchemists,
My brother was their inspiration.
Every time they see his face,
They drive themselves harder and harder.
What are they aiming for?
-Alphonse Elric
I would like to thank everyone for their reviews; I appreciated them all. Also, I did some fixing up on Lesson 1, so you can go and reread it if you like. And if you want, please feel free to lend any suggestions as to how to further the story; I'll see to it that I take all ideas into consideration. Anyways, ciao!
-GYRAX