My first attempt at Fan Fiction..Emo Snape! Bit depressing actually. Loosely based around the poem 'Alone' by Edgar Allen Poe, A short commentary on the life and unrequited love of Severus Snape.
Reviews are nice.
Disclaimer: Unfortunately I do not own Severus or anything else you might recognise.
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'Alone' by Edgar Allen Poe From childhood's hour I have not beenAs others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.
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The Demon In my ViewAlways a stranger. Everyone knew of him, but nobody really knew him. Nobody knew him beyond the mysterious dark-haired Slytherin, distinctly average in academic studies, yet shining in the subjects most shyed away from, the subjects he loved so much, Defence against the Dark Arts being one of them, Potions the other. Maybe it was his facination with the Dark Arts which set him apart from the students around him, for even his housemates, however sly and cunning, found his captivation with the dark arts, and his natural aptitude and enthusiasm for the subject somewhat unnerving.
His first year at Hogwarts, tainted by lonliness and rejection at its finest, was time enough to label him 'the loser kid' and he suffered at the hands of those around him, who were quick to dismiss him as an outsider. He spent the most part of his years at Hogwarts tormented relentlessly by the Marauderers, as they christened themselves. James Potter, was the ringleader. No, they never laid a hand on him, but not a single day went by without a malicious word uttered from the lips of Potter and his friends. And often a word was all it took for Severus, Snivellus they called him, to break down and cry.
Severus despised Hogwarts with everything he had. He hated it, oh how he hated each day. Yet through everything, he was deeply grateful that hogwarts was his home. For as much as he hated it, hated it and feared the hurt he knew inside its walls, Hogwarts was an improvement on home. Home- where the hurt is. At Hogwarts, he could withdraw each evening to the silence of his dormitory, pull the silky emerald curtains across his four poster bed, and take comfort in the eight hours he had to himself, away from the torment and tribulations of each and every day held- an overnight moratorium. An escape from the harsh world he saw being played out around him, one which he spent the daylight hours waiting for. Severus Snape spent his school years longing for the night, to be left alone in the solace of a darkened room, somewhere he could fit in. Away from the perpetual torment his peers subjected him to on a daily basis, the ceaseless humiliation caused by potter and his gang, who never missed an opportunity to verbally demean him and aim the occasional hex at him from behind as he walked to and from lessons. Always, Severus resisted the urge to aim a hex back, knowing he was easily outnumbered by students around him,who would not hesitate to join in. He did not react- his face always remaining in the same cold and emotionless expression, masking his resentment and desperation, the hurt and anger in him which could only be discovered through his eyes, which alone displayed the anguish, bitterness and injustice which he had always known.
Yes, you could see it in his eyes,but nobody looked that close.
From childhoods hour, Severus Snape had not seen. He had never experienced love, nor did he know how to love.
Except prehaps for one person, a girl. Name: Lily Evans, Half Blood, like himself, Gryffindor. Beautiful. Spoken for, however, by James Potter.
Severus Snape was never pretty enough. Severus Snape was never quite good enough for Lily Evans. Severus Snape would never be as good as James Potter, The loveable rougue, Gryffindor's most valuble quiditch player, the most coveted boy in the year, the boy with sharp reflexes, quick wit and hypnotic brown eyes, which proved irrisistable to every girl in the castle, Lily Potter included.
A fairytale love story, A happy ending, the perfect couple.
Severus could only watch as the girl he had come so close to loving, the only girl, the only one, who ever came close, slipped away into someone else's arms. The arms of James Potter, who having got what he had wanted for so long, became even more insufferable. Sickeningly arrogant. Yes he was perfect in every way- and didn't he know it.
Severus Snape watched from the window in his dormitory one evening, the couple standing by the lake in the half light, her deep red hair cascading over her shoulders, her Irish eyes gleaming in what was left of the evening. Freckles graced her cheeks with reckless abandon, she sparkled.
She smiled and lifted her arms up around James' neck, looked at her boyfriend and whispered something that Severus could not hear. She whispered something he could not hear. Three words he figured, from what he read from her lips, deep red. Three words he had never heard. As she leaned forward to kiss him, Severus turned away from the window.
Lily Evans. James Potter.
Severus Snape. Alone. (All he loved, he loved alone)
And so it went on. It was something he had hardened to.