Merry Christmas everyone! I have an announcement to make! As of now I will be updating my story twice a week instead of just once! WhOOt! Can you blame me for trying to spread a little Christmas mayhem? I mean...cheer. Be sure to check back next Wednesday and the Saturday after for new chapters!

MISPLACED EMOTIONS

Cologne smacked her face, she should have known better than to send Puck out on his own.

"Awww, look how cute they are." Puck sighed.

Ryoga and Shampoo were in the Cat Café, bent over a strawberry milkshake they were sharing with two bright pink straws. They gazed longingly into each other's eyes.

"You're so cute." Shampoo sighed happily, playing with her hair.

"No, you're so cute." Ryoga sighed back.

Shampoo giggled. "No! You're so cute!"

"No!" Ryoga waved his finger defiantly. "You are so cute!"

"Nooooo! You are sooooo cute!"

"No! You," Ryoga paused, grinning. "Are soooooooooooooooooooooooooo cute!"

"No! You are sooooooooooo-"

"STOP IT!" Cologne screeched. "Good God, I can't think straight with that racket! This is a disaster!"

"Great Grandmother! What's wrong?" Shampoo asked, concerned.

"Yeah, what's wrong?" Puck asked.

"What's wrong! You got the wrong guy that's what's wrong!"

"That's impossible." Puck said logically. "You told me to make Shampoo fall in love with a short haired boy."

"I did not! Besides how is that a distinguishing feature? There must be millions of short haired boys in this city!" Cologne fumed.

"I didn't just go by that!" Puck said, insulted. "He was a martial artist too!"

"That doesn't matter! The point is that he's not Ranma!"

"Well excuse me for confusing two shorthaired martial artists! You should be more specific!"

"Maybe you should be more dehydrated." Cologne said threateningly.

"AH! Re- really! There's no need for that!" Puck stammered.

"Great Grandmother, it sounds like you don't even want me to get married!" Shampoo cried.

"Not to him I don't!"

"I know it must be difficult for you." Ryoga knelled down to Cologne's level. "Your little girl is growing up."

"That's not the problem." Cologne said, exasperated.

"But I promise you!" Tears were falling from Ryoga's face. "I will take care of Shampoo when you are gone!"

"Oh, Ryoga." Shampoo sighed.

Cologne hit Ryoga on the head with her cane. "Right now I'm thinking I will outlive you."

"No!" Shampoo threw her arms around Ryoga. "I love him!"

"No you don't! It's just the effect of the pollen! You're in love with Ranma and that's who you're going to marry!"

Shampoo burst into tears. "How could you be so cruel?"

"You will never tear us apart!" Ryoga exclaimed.

"Shampoo's marrying Ranma and that's that!" Cologne insisted.

"How could you force a marriage against their will!" Puck yelled suddenly.

Cologne hit him. "This is all your fault anyway!"

"We don't care what you think! If you will not bless our marriage, then we must elope!" Ryoga yelled. He scooped Shampoo into his arms and ran out of the Café. "Tee hee! My hero!" Shampoo said.

"Stop that! You're not in your right minds! Puck! Fix this!" Cologne was sincerely panicked now.

"What should I do?" Puck asked.

"Make Ryoga fall in love with someone else!"

"But who?"

"I DON'T CARE! JUST GET SHAMPOO BACK WITH RANMA!" Cologne followed after them up the street. "I CANNOT ALLOW THIS!" She cried after them.

"You can't stop us!" Ryoga called as he jumped into the air hoping from roof to roof.

Suddenly a rock flew at them. Ryoga instinctively moved his head to dodge it, but it hit Shampoo square in the face and knocked her out for the second time in an hour. "AH! My love!" Ryoga cried.

Puck flew at Ryoga like a bolt of lightning. Using his unusual strength he snatched Shampoo out of Ryoga's hands. "Sorry. But I've got to do what Cologne says." The fairy said.

"Return my love you midget!" Ryoga went for Puck about to punch him, but Puck was too quick. He whipped out the lily-like flower and blew the pollen in Ryoga's face.

Ryoga's eyes slipped out of focus and a dazed look came over his face. Puck looked around and saw a girl walking down the street carrying groceries.

He grabbed Ryoga by the cuff and tossed him at the girl shouting, "Enjoy!"

Ukyo looked up. "AH!" She moved just in time for Ryoga to plow into the sidewalk face first. "Ryoga! Sugar, are you okay?" Ukyo asked, slightly frazzled.

When Ryoga didn't respond Ukyo bent down and pulled his face out of the cement. "Geez, what happened to you?"

"I fell in love." Ryoga said in a strangely lighthearted tone for his current circumstance.

"Oh. Well that's interesting." Ukyo said in a very uninterested voice. He was obviously fighting Ranma over Akane again. If only Ranma would give up on Akane and marry her instead, then everyone would be happy. It was then that Ukyo noticed that Ryoga was hugging her about the middle. With his head resting on her chest.

She smacked him. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

Ryoga hugged her tighter. "Oh Ukyo, can you not see? I never realized how lovely you were."

Ukyo struggled to escape but Ryoga's grip was unbreakable. A mother walking down the street with her child gave them a disapproving look. "Ryoga, let me go!"

Ryoga lifted his head and looked her in the face. "I could never let you go! Marry me Ukyo!"

"WHAT?" Ukyo screeched. Ryoga puckered his lips and leaned into her face and Ukyo clapped her hands over his mouth. "Whoa! Hold on there! Just because Akane and Ranma are together doesn't mean we automatically are! "(Ryoga/Ukyo fans scurry away)

"Mmt mi moev umw!" Ryoga mumbled through her hands.

Ukyo pushed his head further away. "I said let me go!"

Ryoga reluctantly released her. Ukyo stood up and brushed herself off. "Now what has caused you to go insane?" She said angrily.

"Not holding the girl of my dreams in my arms!" Ryoga cried. He jumped up for another hug but Ukyo hit him away with her spatula. "Damn it Ryoga!"

He was back in a second with a smirk on his face. "I get it. Playing hard to get, huh? You tease!"

Ukyo's eye twitched. "You can't be serious?"

"I've never been more serious! You must marry me!"

"What happened to Akane you fool? I thought you loved her!"

"I'm not hearing a no!" Ryoga chanted.

"I'M NOT MARRYING YOU!" Ukyo fumed. "I'M IN LOVE WITH RAN-CHAN!"

Ryoga picked up Ukyo and jumped to the nearest rooftop. "There's no time to be silly right now honey! We need to find a nice chapel!"

"Put me down, idiot!" and Ukyo smacked him with her spatula, but to no avail.

"Dun da da duh! Dun da da duh!" Ryoga started singing the wedding march very loudly.

"EEEAAAHHHHH!" Ukyo screamed as Ryoga jumped away with her.

Puck watched them go with a satisfied smile on his face. "That takes care of that!"

The end...

Okay, I lied.

IN THE PARK

"Aaarrrrhhh! Where are they?" Ranma yelled in frustration. He and Akane had been wondering around the park looking for Mousse for almost an hour. Ranma knew he had seen Mousse and Kuno run in here, but then they were gone.

"If we hadn't stopped then they wouldn't have gotten away." Akane pointed out in an annoyed voice.

"I was not going near those two until I had some backup hot water!"

"Well you could at least carry it for a while!" She held out the pot, but Ranma had already jumped away over the trees. "Come back here! What kind of man are you?"

She ran after him.

Ranma had seen something moving over this way. He came down on the white sidewalk. "Alright! I fo-" Akane hit him with the pot. "What was that for?"

"You just left me without a word!"

"Akane Tendo!" Kuno embraced her. "Do not think I have forgotten you!" She hit him with pot too.

Mousse came out of the bushes. "Kuno! We are supposed to be looking for the Red Haired Beauty!"

"Of course. I was merely greeting my dear Akane Tendo." He gazed into her eyes. "Though I search for the Pigtailed Girl, my love for you is still burning brightly." Akane groaned.

"We've been looking all over for you two!" Ranma yelled. "Where the hell have you been?"

"I already said we have been searching for my Red Haired Beauty!" Mousse said.

"Listen you!" Ranma rounded on Mousse. "I don't know what's gotten into you. But you need to come with us to see Cologne."

"Not until I have found my Red Haired Beauty!"

"Stop calling me that!"

"I wasn't talking about you!"

"Yes you….never mind. The point is that you're not going to find her!" Ranma insisted.

"Then we shall never stop searching!" Kuno declared. "Agreed!" Mousse said. They ran down the path. "Come to me Pigtailed Girl!" "Where are you my Red Haired Beauty?"

"Ranma, don't let them get away!" Akane yelled.

"I'm going!" Ranma ran after the two lunatics.

Further ahead in a clearing in the middle of the park, a lovely young couple was sitting having a lovely picnic on an absolutely lovely day.

"You look lovely today." The young man complimented the young woman as he passed her the egg salad.

"Oh you are too kind!" The girl smiled.

The boy blushed. "I had wanted to wait, but this just seems like the perfect time."

"Yes?" The girl asked hopefully.

"I love you so much." The boy took her hands in his. "I want to spend the rest of our lives together! Amy, will you marry me?"

"Oh Ralph!" Her eyes were watering. "Of course I'll marry-"

"Oh my Red Haired Beauty!" Mousse jumped out and hugged Amy. Yes, she had red hair. "I've been searching for you for so long! But I still love you!"

"Amy! Who is this?" Ralph yelled.

"I don't know! I've never seen him before!" She tried to push Mousse away.

"Just like the other three times I asked you to marry me? I should have known it was too good to be true!" He stood up. "That's it! I give up on love!" He ran away crying.

"Ralph! No!" Amy called after him.

"How dare you try to steal the Pigtailed Girl from me!" Kuno jumped out and swiped his wooden sword at Mousse.

"What are you two doing?" Ranma had caught up with them.

"Hey! You're not the Pigtailed Girl!" Kuno looked accusingly at the very shaken girl.

"She's not?" Mousse adjusted his broken glasses. "Oops, my mistake." He released her.

"It's okay. It's not as bad as the second time he asked me to marry him." She sighed and stumbled away.

"Alas! Our search continues!" Kuno said.

"Would you stop looking for her! She's not coming!" Ranma yelled.

Mousse looked at Ranma with narrowed eyes. "Could it be...?"

"That you want the Pigtailed Girl to your self!" Kuno finished.

"We won't allow you to take her away!" Mousse jumped at Ranma and shot knives out of his sleeve, which Ranma dodged.

"Cut it out Mousse!" Ranma smacked him, trying to bring him to his right mind. "You know that I turn into the 'Red Haired Beauty!"

"Nonsense!" Mousse punched Ranma away causing him to sail through the air.

Ranma did a roll about move in the air preparing to land. "Ranma! Look out!" Akane yelled as she was running towards them.

That was when he noticed where he was heading. "SINCE WHEN WAS THERE A FOUNTAIN THERE?" Ranma made a futile attempt to stop himself from falling by swimming through the air, but that damn law of gravity was against him!

SPLASH

"Pigtailed Girl!" "Red Haired Beauty!" They glomped Ranma before she had time to react. "AAAAIIIIEEEE!"

"Hold on Ranma!" Akane was about to throw the kettle when a wooden staff swung out of nowhere and knocked away Kuno and Mousse like two weird golf balls.

Cologne landed on the fountain edge next to Ranma. Although very traumatized, Ranma couldn't help noticing that Cologne was carrying a knocked out Shampoo in one hand and a small person was flying next to Cologne's head.

"Do you have to go so fast?" Puck whined. "My wings are getting tired!"

Cologne snatched Puck out of the air and shoved him in Ranma's face. "That's Ranma!"

Puck blushed a deep red. "Oh my...I didn't know this was THAT kind of marriage! No wonder Shampoo didn't like this arrangement!"

"You're just confused." Cologne sighed.

"Ranma, are you okay?" Akane asked.

"Yeah, fine." Ranma answered in an irritated voice; she didn't like not knowing what was going on. She climbed out of the fountain and Akane poured the hot water over her head, changing her back into a he.

Puck gasped loudly. "What a freak!"

"Who's the freak?" Ranma yelled, stomping Puck to the dirt.

Shampoo moaned groggily and lifted herself up; she had a really bad headache for some reason. Then everything came back to her. "Where is my beloved Ryoga?"

Ranma and Akane stared at her for a second, not sure they had heard correctly. "What did you say?" Akane asked.

"Ryoga! Where are you!" Shampoo called, ignoring them.

They were silent for another moment. "Hey Cologne, the same thing has happened to Shampoo as Mousse." Ranma said. Then he turned to her with an angry expression on his face. "WHAT'S GOIN' ON GHOUL?"

"Heh heh, you will know soon enough Son-in-law." Cologne said maliciously. Puck (amazingly) took the cue and whipped out his lily and quickly blew a puff of pollen in Ranma's face.

Ranma coughed loudly. "What tha-" and that was when he saw Shampoo.

"Oh my darling! " He went up to Shampoo and took her hands him his. Akane gaped.

"I never realized how perfect we are for each other! It would be a crime for us to not be together!" Now Akane looked livid, her eye twitching. However, Shampoo had a sorrowful look on her face.

"Oh Ranma, once I thought that way...but no more! My heart belongs to Ryoga!" She exclaimed.

"I love you a hundred, no! A thousand times more than HE ever could!"

"Please understand Shampoo, I will never love anyone but him."

"No, my love!" Ranma cried dramatically. "I will make you love me!" He picked up Shampoo and started to jump off with her. "Put Shampoo down you heathen!" She cried.

A park bench flew through the air and brought the two down in a heap. Akane was breathing heavily and looked like she could kill. Her attention snapped to Cologne, this was obviously her doing.

"What are you thinking Colonge? You can't just manipulate peoples' feelings!" She yelled.

"Sure you can! I do it all the time!" Puck answered for his master. "Now to finish the job!" He whipped out his flower again. Only to have Akane snatch it away. "Hey, that's mine!" He flew after Akane who was running away from the fairy.

"Tell me the cure and I'll give it back to you!" She shouted.

"NEVER!"

Akane was about to say something else when she inadvertently bumped into Kuno, who had just gotten back.

"Oh, Akane Tendo, a flower! You shouldn't have!"

"Kuno! Don't!" She tried to warn him but he had already smelled the flower. Akane ducked out of his line of vision but he wasn't looking at her anymore.

"What a fair maiden!" He gasped as he walked over to Cologne and knelled to her level like a knight. "Age is ripened you to perfection! My lovely turtle dove!"

"What are you-" Cologne stopped talking, considering for a second. "...Well, beggars can't be choosers." She concluded.

"Oh, my love!" Kuno sobbed.

"Uggh! Now that's just sick and twisted!" Akane said, disgusted. But then she noticed something. "Ranma and Shampoo are gone!"

PrincessRose: And this, my friends, is the introduction to be best couple in all of the anime universe! EVER! IN ALL TIME!

AngelicDemnX: KunoXCologne!

Shakespeare: You guys are perverts.

PrincessRose: If you'd like to join the KunoXCologne fanlisting, then please go to BogusAnimeCouples. com!

AngelicDemnX: If that actually existed, I would SO go there.