"What time is it?" I think to myself as the sunlight burns through my eyelids.
I roll over as I hear the bathroom down open slowly. My eyes catch the clock as I turn to see Alex, trying desperately to be quiet. 4:30a.m. Oh man. It takes me a minute to realize why Alex is here in the first place. She spots me and notices the confusion register across my face. She tugs nervously on the bottom of her blazer.
"Do you remember last night?" The look of embarrassment washes over her face and I feel guilty for putting her in this place.
"Yeah.. Alex look--" Pieces of the evening flash in my memory. I'm not sure what to say. Alex cuts me off though.
"Olivia." She's smoothing out her clothes and I can honestly say, I've never seen her so out of place. Out of character. "Nothing happened."
Huh? How can she say that? Something did happen. I kissed her. Does she want to forget? I sit up slowly, the earth shattering hangover piercing my head. She begins to move for the door when she's catches the frown on my face. I watch her shift her body language and her mood drifts back to the attorney she is. She's getting ready to defend herself, even though I've said nothing. I can see it.
"I'm sorry then." Ha. Caught her off guard with that one. She turns, looks confused and squints her eyes.
"What do you mean?" She asks me simply.
"I mean, I'm sorry you think that was nothing." My heart begins to race as she crosses her arms over her chest and opens her mouth. "No Alex. Don't say anything. Let me say something. I shouldn't have laid all that on your shoulders. I remember what happened last night. I cried on your shoulder. And I--"
"And I should get going." How could she cut me off like that?
"Maybe you forgot what happened last night?" I challenge her, anger welling up inside me as my chest tightens.
"Olivia, it wasn't that big of a deal. I was glad to help you but.."
"BUT nothing. If it was nothing then why can't you say it? Or hear me say it?" A deafening silence clouded the room as I sat there in my bed and she, fully clothed, beside the door. She looked at me, unable to word her thoughts for once. Oh Cabot, get over yourself.
"I kissed you." I almost laughed when her face flashed disbelief. Like she wasn't there or something. Was she going to play it off like it didn't even happen? "…and you liked it." Okay that smirk just slipped but, oh, did it infuriate her. She acted as though she was on a stage in her underwear. Embarrassed and confused, she opened my bedroom door and without looking back said, "I'll see you down at the precinct, Detective." Oh burn. Why is she LIKE that? My God.
I get out of bed and throw back some Advil. Staring at the mirror in the bathroom I wonder how all that could have possibly happened. A glimpse of gold catches my eye and I see Alex's watch laying on the sink. I inspect it like I would evidence. I see her fingerprints on the face and I put it to my ear to listen to the soft tick. I hate you Alex. How could you be so cold? Why did I think you were more than that? Okay, I'll tell you why, because I saw it in action. I saw that glint in her eyes, that want, when I touched her face. I felt the push in her lips when I pressed mine against hers.
I enter the precinct and set myself up for a day of paperwork. I'm stuck on desk duty for a while and I better make the best of it. That's the price you pay for taking lives. If only that were the only price to pay. Elliot comes rushing in, 20 minutes later.
"Hey Liv, how ya makin' out?" He's referring cautiously to my evening with my upsetting thoughts, but I'm dying to say, 'you mean who's making out with me? Alex, and I want to smack her for being such a closet case.'
"I showed up today. How's that for a start?" It's all I can offer him.
"It's a good one." He smiles genuinely. He's such a good friend. Maybe one day I'll sit him down, when I get the balls to, and tell him how much I appreciate him. My thoughts break when Cregan bursts from his office, oblivious.
"Elliot, we just got Ricky to talk. I need Cabot down here, NOW." Elliot's new case had already cracked. I don't know much about it, except that Ricky was the key to get his search warrant. And we all know where we get our warrants. Cabot.
"Liv, want to call Cabot down here for me so I can grab some coffee?" Oh man. I want to scream and beat him with vanilla folders but that wouldn't solve anything.
"How 'bout you call her and I'll get you're coffee. I make it better than you do." I joke with him to misdirect his attention from the fact that I don't want to call Alex. He always has me call her because he knows how much I love it. However my insult can't steer the suspicious look from his face. He doesn't push with Cregan lingering over with Munch. He makes the call and I cringe with my back to him. What the hell am I going to do when she walks through that door?