Author's notes!

PrincessRose: You know what? We're too lazy to write the author's notes. HOW ABOUT THAT, HUH?

AngelicDemnX: I bet you all were expecting something hilarious and stupid. Well, this'll cook your peas!

Shakespeare: What? You two must be writing this at three in the morning after drinking old grape juice, right?

THE HIKE FROM HELL

"Let me out, you mortal fools!" Puck yelled. He was trapped inside a birdcage in the Tendo Dojo the next morning. Ranma, Akane, Ukyo and Ryoga were there, ready to head out and find the Spring of Renewed Love so they could fix everyone.

"You're not mortal? So it won't matter if I stomp you, shoot you, or run over you?" Ranma asked, annoyed.

"Uh...just because I'm immortal doesn't mean I can't feel pain!" Puck wheezed.

Kasumi walked down the hall still wearing her nightgown. "Ready to go so early? But you didn't get home until very late." She said.

"It's better to go as soon as possible." Akane said.

"Well I hope you at lest had a good day yesterday." Kasumi said, smiling.

"It was a little hectic."

HALF AN HOUR LATER, IN A FOREST OUTSIDE NERMIA

"Are you sure we're going the right way, Ryoga?" Ranma asked.

"Of course! I'm reading the map perfectly!" He answered.

"Why is he the one directing again?" Ukyo asked.

"He's the only one who can read the pixie's horrible handwriting." Akane said.

"I'M A FAIRY! And it's only Brush Script if you must know!" Puck shouted from the birdcage Ranma was carrying strapped to his back.

"I think you're holding it upside down." Ranma said to Ryoga.

"How can you tell?" Ukyo asked, looking at the map.

"I know exactly what I'm doing!" Ryoga yelled.

SEVERAL HOURS LATER

"ARRH! This is getting us nowhere! We've been by that rock fifty times!" Ranma yelled. He pulled the birdcage off his back. "Puck! You better tell us where this stupid place is!"

But the cage was empty.

"Oh no! He escaped!" Akane shouted.

"HA HA HA!" Puck flew out of the trees, holding a new flower. "With you guys walking around in circles, I had plenty of time to grow my flower!"

"What!" Akane gasped. "I thought you said that would take days!"

"I lied! Ukyo! You and I will be together forever!"

"Eek! Ran-Chan! Protect me!" Ukyo jumped behind Ranma.

"Heh heh heh! If you don't hand her over now, I'll make your lives a living hell!" Puck waved the flower around threateningly.

Ryoga leaned back to whisper to Ukyo. "Why don't you just pretend to like that pixie for a while, so he can show us where to find the cure?"

"I thought you knew where we were going!" She snapped.

"Well, I did until I lost the map."

"When did you lose the map?" Ranma yelled angrily.

"When I tripped about three hours ago. I've been using this recipe booklet." Ryoga held it up.

"ARE YOU EXTRA STUPID TODAY?" Ranma yelled.

"Why you-! You wanna fight!"

"This isn't the time for that!" Akane said as she pushed them apart.

"Oh, Ukyo..." Puck said, teary eyed. "You hate me because I'm a girly fairy...don't you? BOO HOO HOO! I'll never show you where the springs are!"

"No! Don't be ridiculous! You're...quite...handsome." Ukyo tried to force a smile.

Puck sniffed. "...Do you mean that?"

"Sure."

"Oh…oh Ukyo...no one has ever truly loved me before!" He said, blushing.

"I think we're getting a little ahead of ourselves." Ukyo said, annoyed.

"A gift for you...my love." Puck held up the flower.

"I'm not that stupid." Ukyo said. Then the snatched the flower away from him. "Ha! Now you can't use it at all!"

"Oh Ukyo! How could you be so cruel?" Puck flew away into the forest. "BOO HOO HOOO!"

"Gah!" Ranma and the others watched him go. "Now we can't find the spring at all!" Ranma yelled.

"Yeah...what a shame." Ukyo stood there for a second then turned and blew some pollen towards Ranma.

"What do you think you're doing!" Akane stepped in front of Ranma and the pollen hit her instead. Akane clamped her hand over her mouth and nose but it was too late. Oh no! Whoever I see next I'll fall in love with! She thought.

Ryoga gasped. Oh...it's...the chance of a lifetime! ...but I won't allow myself to do such a dishonorable thing! While thinking this he began to step in front of Akane.

But Ranma punched him down. "You jerk!"

Akane gasped. "R...R...Ranma?"

"Eh?"

"You know how I've always felt about you!" She said hopefully.

"Gah! W...we...we need to find that cure!" Ranma grabbed Akane's wrist and ran after Puck.

Ukyo and Ryoga watched them go.

"He...he took off into the woods to be alone with her!" Ryoga said, flabbergasted.

"Don't be stupid! He would never like a tomboy like her!" Ukyo said angrily, not really believing it. "You know, I still have the flower." She said as she held it up.

"Oh! Well Ukyo...you're nice and all, but I could never feel that way about you." Ryoga said.

"I didn't mean that, idiot! I meant we could use it on Akane and Ranma!"

"OH! That's a good idea!"

FURTHER AHEAD IN THE FOREST

"Where are you, Pixie boy?" Ranma called, he was still pulling Akane along.

"I love it when you talk tough like that!" Akane giggled.

"I know, but this isn't the time for that!"

"Oh ho ho ho! Are you suffering yet?" Puck said from a tree.

"Bring Akane the cure, you jerk!" Ranma yelled.

"Never!" He began to fly away.

"Why you-!" Ranma let go of Akane and jumped after Puck.

"No! Ranma!" Akane called.

Puck flew up and over the trees and Ranma followed, jumping from tree to tree. When he got close he jumped at Puck, ready to catch him. But Ryoga and Ukyo both jumped out in front of Puck. "There you are!" They yelled.

"Alright! You got him!" Ranma said.

"We're not going after him!" Ryoga shouted.

"HUH?" Ranma landed on a treetop.

Ukyo held up the flower and blew several blasts at Ranma, which he dodged. "You...you traitors!" Ranma yelled.

"I only do this for our future together!" Ukyo said.

"What about Akane!"

"She will live happily ever after with Ryoga!" Ukyo pointed at Ryoga.

"Yeah! With me!" Ryoga said.

Ranma jumped at Ukyo and grabbed the flower away. "Hey! What!" Ukyo stuttered.

"Let's see how it makes you feel!" Ranma blew some pollen in her face and pushed her towards Ryoga.

"Gah!" Ryoga jumped back.

"Oh...Ryoga..." Ukyo said, all starry eyed. "I never realized how truly stunning a bandana and a lack of a sense of direction can be! Come into my arms!" She jumped towards him.

"Never!" Ryoga jumped away and Ukyo chased after him.

"NO! Ukyo...chasing after another man!" Puck sobbed.

"Would you give up on that?" Ranma yelled as he jumped down to the ground.

"Fine...but I will take my flower back from you!" Puck flew at Ranma but he jumped up and away.

"You'll never get it!" Ranma said.

"Curse you Ranma!"

Just then Ryoga ran by with Ukyo not far behind. "Give me that!" Ryoga grabbed the flower from Ranma and blew pollen in Ukyo's face and turned her towards Ranma.

"Oh my darling Ran-chan!" Ukyo hugged Ranma.

"Darn it!" Ranma glared at Ryoga as he ran away.

"Now she'll love you even more!" Ryoga laughed. Then he stopped suddenly because Akane was right ahead of him.

"Where...where is my Ranma? I cannot live without my Ranma!" She said sadly.

IN RYOGA'S WORLD

He was HEARTBROKEN!

"Oh Akane, to hear you say those words...I simply cannot go on living!" He sobbed. "Unless..." He looked at the flower in his hands. "I can use the flower! I can make Akane fall in love with me! Now is the time, now is the moment! I must be brave!"

IN THE REAL WORLD

And Ryoga freezes up like a statue.

"No! You're crushing the flower!" Puck shouted.

"I...I just don't have the guts to do it!" Ryoga cried in despair.

"You wuss!" Ranma kicked Ryoga away and grabbed the flower back.

"Ranma!" Akane ran forward.

"No! He's mine!" Ukyo ran forward.

Ranma jumped up towards Puck before either of them got him. "Give it up Puck! Just tell us where the hot spring is!" He yelled.

"I'll never tell!" Puck zipped forward and snatched the flower away from Ranma before he could stop him. "Ah-ha! Now it's back in my hands! BWAHAHAHAH!" Puck began to fly away very quickly, but he wasn't watching where he was going and he ran straight into a branch.

After a moment he fell back and landed in a hot spring. A sign that read 'Spring of Renewed Love' was hammered into the ground next to the hot spring.

Ranma jumped forward, still going after Puck and landed in the spring. Ukyo and Akane followed…and so did Ryoga for good measure.

Akane and Ukyo rubbed their eyes like they were coming out of a trance.

"Ah-ha! We found it! There's more than enough to cure everyone back in Nermia!" Ranma said happily.

"Yeah, too bad we don't have the special bottle to carry it in." Puck said.

Ranma stared at him disbelievingly. "What?"

"Yes, only one special kind of bottle can retain the heat necessary to make the antidote work."

"You gonna tell us where it is?" Ranma asked. His eye was twitching.

"Well, I've only ever had one. And you smashed it!" Puck said as though it was obvious.

Suddenly Ranma's head inflated to something not unlike Soun's trademark big head and Puck cowered beneath him.

"I think Ranma's been hanging around my dad too long." Akane said.

YOU'RE ALL DORKS AND WE HATE YOU

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Nah, we love ya.

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But not THAT way. Sorry. We know you're crushed.

Shakespear: There is something SERIOUSLY wrong with you guys sense of humor.