Part Twelve: Alex
Suddenly alone in the cruiser, the rain hits harder, my headache pounds stronger and everything overwhelms me. This is nothing but a disaster. How did everything get so out of control?
The squad car smells of Olivia's lingering scent and I catch a faint whiff of Elliot's cologne. I imagine Olivia drive's more often if the passenger seat is lined with Elliot. I breathe in her scent deeply and all my muscles seem to react as my body relaxes. My eyes slip closed and I prop my elbow on the door and lean my head against my hand.
The car door opens and I snap awake.
"I'm sorry that…" She stops as she catches me yawn, "…took so long. We're you sleeping?"
"I guess I must've dozed a bit." I flutter my eyes and try to regain some energy. I feel her eyes on me and I turn my head.
"Do you still want to go to dinner?" The look on her face is pleading with me to say yes. I do want to spend the evening with her. This time I don't plan on running away.
"Yeah, I defiantly do. I'm starving." Her eyes came alive with my response and she handed me my blazer and my briefcase. Our hands brushed. Hers were soft as silk as they grazed mine. It amazed me. It seemed like a misplaced trait for someone so hard. With a profession like hers, I mean. I guess I half expected a construction worker's, toned, jagged skin. She turned the ignition and it startled me out of thought.
"Where to?" Nothing came to mind. I didn't want to go to a fancy restaurant and that's all I knew.
"Ha, I don't know any place. I don't want to go up town though." She smiled at me, knowing exactly what I meant. The thing is I always dine uptown. The thought of eating anywhere else never really crossed my mind. However, things felt different this week. Everything was different. I was spending time with Olivia. We went from butting head co-workers, past friends, to close friends. I guess that's what you'd call it anyway. I mean, suddenly we are each others support. We're taking care of each other, watching and waiting closely.
"I have a place you might like," she pulled out of the precinct with a smile. "It's probably really different from what you're used to, but still. I mean, if you're open for change."
"I am." I meant it in so many other ways than what was for dinner. I think she might have noticed that too.
The car ride silent as we drove through the slick streets of New York. We soon came upon a cute Italian bistro. It was pushed between a deli and a bar. We were in a part of New York I had never seen. It was… colorful. When we walked in, the air was full of life and people laughing. It was warm and Olivia guided me softly, as we were swiftly seated.
"Where did you find this place?" I asked her, noticing the paintings on the brick colored walls.
"Actually, a close friend switched me on to it. It's different from other places. The people are different too." She said with a knowing smile. I looked around to see what she meant. Two men sat in the far back of the room, laughing and slapping each other's arm's playfully in jest. Up at the bar on the other side of the restaurant two sets of women sat closely, divulged in deep conversation. A group of people occupied the center of the room with rounds of beer and funny stories from work.
"Is this a… gay restaurant or something?" I wasn't exactly sure how to word it. I spoke quietly and Olivia laughed at my ignorance.
"I guess it looks that way. Really, all sorts of people come here. It doesn't seem to matter what you are. It just seems to be such a comfortable place, you know?" The waitress came over and lit the candle in the center of the table and took our drink orders. As Olivia spoke I watched at the light that danced and spun under her jaw. The flickering light was a perfect accent to the aura of the dimly lit room. Olivia turned to me and I immediately looked away, feeling guilty for starring. I ordered and the waitress left us menus.
"It's beautiful." I remarked, my eyes wandering away from the menu. The ceilings had criss-cross planks with fake vines and grapes weaved over them. Old photos and Italian items littered the shelves against the wall. The people spoke loudly and the music was fairly loud too. I hated to sound so prissy, but I was used to elevator music. Not that I liked it.
"Oh, I love this song!" Olivia said suddenly, looking up from the pasta section.
"What is it?" I honestly had never heard it.
"Are you joking? It's 'Mambo Italiano'! This is a classic!" She exclaimed laughing. It was catchy, I liked the way it sounded. Just then the table in the center of the room, full of co-workers, began to chant the words loudly. Olivia bounced her head to the beat and went back to her decision on what to eat. The two men from the back of the room got out of their seats and began dancing sloppily on the tiny dance floor in the corner of the room. I pointed them out to Olivia and she seemed to look at them longingly before turning back to me.
"I love it when people just let themselves go. It's refreshing." Her words were simple but everything seemed so surreal. I hadn't really talked to Olivia about anything but work. I didn't really know what she felt about anything. It felt good to know we'd be getting to know each other more.
Dinner went well with us joking about things Munch had done and said recently. Olivia went on about the antics that went on in the 1-6 when things weren't crazy with case loads. She told me about their nights out at Meloni's when they could get all together. I felt slightly jealous but it quickly melted as Liv's smile flashed wildly at her own memories. I thought about how I could watch her move and speak forever.
The waitress came by and Olivia asked if I liked white or red wine. I told her red and she ordered a bottle. Our plates were almost empty but I felt like the night had just begun. I told her about my college days and the crazy things my girlfriends and I had done and been caught doing. She laughed heartily at my misadventures and I wished I had more to tell just to hear her laugh. When the wine arrived she raised her glass to me and I mirrored her.
"This is to…" She frowned, looking for words. A thought came to my mind.
"New beginnings, hard times and finding friendship." She looked at me with a shocked expression; not expecting words like that from me. I had to admit, I didn't really expect them myself. They sort of just came out. But I was so thankful for her. I was thankful for the distraction, for the help, for the warm atmosphere in a world where mine is so cold. We clinked glasses and went on talking about days before dealing with sex crimes and criminals. The night went on smoothly.
Olivia was mid-sentence when she recognized another song. Only this time I recognized it too. She smiled amazingly and I laughed as we both said, "Que Sera Sera!" The Italian flavor filled the air as we laughed and sang.
"Dance with me," she asked, looking at me intently. I had a few glasses of wine, so I agreed. She grabbed my hand and took the lead on the little dance floor. Another couple jumped up laughing and joined us. Two women from the bar decided to add to the mixture as well.
Olivia guided me across the floor as I giggled childishly in her strong arms. The thoughts I had of wondering about myself vanished as she smiled at me and wove me through the people on the dance floor. I knew right then, she was all the man I'd ever need. She was perfect for me.
"When I grew up and fell in love, I asked my sweetheart, what lies ahead? Will we have rainbows, day after day? Here's what my sweetheart said!" She laughed in between breaths as she sang loudly to me. Her face dangerously close as we spun. Her arm wrapped around my waist, light on her feet… she was whisking me away. I had taken dance lessons for years. I could dance any dance there was, but Liv? She was a natural, like she was born to do it. With her leading me, I felt like the most professional dancer in the world.
"Que sera! Sera! Whatever will be will be!" We sang to each other as we moved. The couples around us seemed to be doing the same. But they vanished from me. Everything around us vanished as all I could hear was Olivia serenading me, laughing with me… holding me. Her body guiding me in circles, her essence guiding my heart. I moved with her and she dipped me jokingly as the final line was chanted by all.
"The future's not ours to see… que sera, sera." She sang softer now, more serious as she pulled me close and spoke into my ear. Our hands clasped tightly as our cheeks touched barely. I pulled back and looked at her. Her grin had faded and she was looking at me with such a want in her eyes. I wanted it too. The song had ended and the people around us and the other couples, clapped wildly at our dancing display. Olivia cracked a smile, turned to the people and bowed like a gentleman. I smiled and covered my mouth with my hand as she turned and bowed to me.
"Thank you! Thank you!" She laughed and her hand moved to the small of my back and led me back to the table. She picked up her jacket, placed a couple 20's in the bill folder and took me by the hand.
"Let's get out of here." She made my stomach knot. Suddenly I felt so small and fragile beside her. I let her lead me out of the bistro and into the rain. I had a feeling this wonderful night would change my life. And as Olivia turned to me, still smiling from the events inside, I knew Olivia had already changed my life, the minute she took me under her wing.