Part Fourteen: Alex

It's warm in the car and we both drop into our seats. Olivia turns to me and reaches her arms out to ruffle my hair. Water shakes from her fingers and her smile dazzles me. I never knew this woman could have so many sides. In fact, I never knew this woman would have a side I could fit inside. I feel so lucky sitting in this old cruiser.

The radio is on low, switched to calm jazz. I lean my head against the window and let my mind reel until I feel Olivia's hand over mine. I take it without hesitation. I look at her and she smiles, keeping her eyes on the road.

I feel like it's been days since I've been in this apartment, when really its been only hours. I walk in behind Olivia and she begins to peel off some of her drenched layers. I'm suddenly shy in the deafening quiet; no longer cloaked inside the roar of rainfall or the music and laughter of the bistro. I hear every swish of every piece of clothing she drops to the floor. Her coat, button down shirt, shoes and socks now littered across the threshold. All that's left on her body is a black tank top and her work pants. Her shirt is clinging to her like a second skin. God, she's so beautiful. I can't take my eyes off of her. I gaze up her muscled arm and my eyes settle on the nape of her neck. I want to walk up to her and kiss that spot. So what's stopping me? Nothing stopped me in the park.

"You want something?" She's facing me now, and I snap out of thought. "To wear, Alex?"

"Oh, uh, yeah." I smile at her lightly and follow her to her bedroom.

She's pulling out clothes and I feel like I can't look away, not even for a second, as if I would miss something. Some gesture or movement that could mean something. She hands me clothes and turns her back to me and sheds her wet, black tank top tossing a dry white one on the bed beside her. I watch as she unclasps her bra and I step forward and reach my hands up to hers and stop her. I don't know why but I just… I'm just mesmerized by her. She turns her head slightly over her left shoulder but doesn't move to turn. I step closer and a drop of water from my stringy hair drops onto her hot skin. I watch goose bumps rise at the feeling. I lower her hands down to her sides with my own. I then drag my fingertips slowly up over her forearms up to her shoulders and guide them back down, taking the silk, damp bra with me. She drops her head and lets out a long breath. After that, everything happened as if I'd done this a thousand times. But I haven't. Not with men anyway. I'm never soft and I'm never slow. Most of all, I'm never in it for them, I'm in it for me. Not tonight though; this is me wanting to know every inch of her. This is me needing to map her with my hands. Needing to know every curve, every dip, every muscle and every spot that makes her breath heavier. I just need to know.

I take one last step closer to her so my body is right up against hers. The feeling of the cool fabric from my body on her warm skin makes her gasp slightly. I put my hands on either side of her hips and smooth them over her toned stomach. As I push my palms into her flesh and up to her breasts she rolls her head back onto my shoulder. We say nothing. The only sound is the faint existence of the once raging storm outside, and her breathing. For the most part, I am still in control.

She rolls her head to the right and I lightly touch her neck with my lips. Forgetting the uncontrolled lust I felt on that bridge, I remember to slow down and explore every inch of this exotic woman in front of me. After all, I've waited for this for a long time. This looks like it's happening so fast but I saw it in her eyes at dinner, heard it in the sound of her voice in the rain; she's wanted this for a long time too. I never thought it would be possible to find someone perfect for me. The last thing I expected was for it to be a woman.

This… this is better than the flesh of a man. She's so soft under my hands; every part of her reacting to my touch, not because her body should, but because she's craving. The way women crave is so deep. The way I have craved her... it was more intricate than I have ever known.

I'm not kissing her fully. I'm dragging my lips down her neck and over her skin closing them at the end of her shoulder. She goes to turn to face me but I wrap my arms around her waist and stop her. God, the air is so thick with humidity… and need. I can smell the wet asphalt drifting on the light breeze that wafts through the window. I turn and tuck my nose behind her ear and breathe in deep the scent of her damp hair. I feel her shiver in my arms.

"Alex…" I stop her as my hand travels up over her breast to her lips. I press lightly with my fingertips.

"Shhhhh." She sighs deeply at the sound in her ear.

My hands graze her collarbones and move up her neck. The pain of the light touch must be killing her. I can feel her tensing and relaxing in my embrace. I kiss the back of her neck and let my hands leave her body. The loss of touch sends her spinning to face me. As my shirt falls from my hands, only then to I see we are face to face.

She walks towards me, placing one open hand on my abdomen. She guides quietly backwards until I feel the cool wall against my now bare skin. She stares me down before she presses her lips against mine. She's slow at first but she acts as though she can't control herself. She becomes frantic and she takes me with her. She tugs my bottom lip with her teeth and I open my mouth to allow her tongue entrance. She tastes sweet and warm. It seems to never end and every time I kiss her it's like the first time. It takes my breath away and eventually I pull back for air.

Her hands are on the wall on either side of my head and she looks at the floor almost panting. Her short, disheveled locks tumble forward. I bring my hands up and run my fingers through her hair. I let my nails drag over her scalp; she breathes harder and looks up. Our eyes catch and lock. Intensity passes between mocha and sky. I've never seen her more beautiful than in this moment of pure want. The way her sweat beads on her forehead, her swollen, full lips, the darkened color in her eyes; it's amazing. Even in the dark apartment, I can see all that I need too. The lights down on the street cast streaking shadows over her cheek bones.

She grabs me and picks me up. Instinctively I wrap my legs around her hips and she holds me against the wall. If I had any control before, it was now a lost cause in that one swift movement of hers.

My head hits the wall as she devours my skin with her wandering mouth. Down my neck, over my collar bone and back to my waiting lips. I tug her hair as delicately as you can in a moment like this. I want her face closer to mine. I want her body closer. I feel like I need nothing else in life to survive but this woman and her body. Her tongue dives in and our mouths row together, stroking in and out, a heavy exchange that neither of us will give up on.

My hips move into her almost automatically. I feel my skin begin to stick and re-stick to the wall as I push into her. She's so much stronger than I imagined. Her lips find my neck and my eyes watch the muscles in her arms pump up and down as she pushes me up against the wall again and again. Suddenly I feel a slight draft across the sweat on my back as she turns and carries me over to her bed. I smile at her, anticipating all that could follow. She smiles back, kisses my chin and drops me onto the bed. A laugh escapes me and I cover my mouth to stifle it but she takes my hand away and kisses my wrist. She leans in close and lets her tongue leave a hot trail up my neck to my earlobe.

"I love that sound. You're laughter… it's intoxicating." Her voice is husky, low and serious. The sound of it sends my senses in an uproar.

Her left hand starts at my knee and slowly pushes my skirt up as her hand moves higher over my thigh. Now I'm the one sighing heavy and wanting more. I turn my head to the side and close my eyes. I feel her right hand on my chin as she guides my face forward, forcing me to look at her. She smiles sweetly, the look on her face intensifying as I feel her fingers under my skirt touch the rim of my panties. A pointer finger lightly, and most torturing, grazes the fabric over the wettest part of me. A small smirk peeks out from her as my eyebrows rise. She kisses me hard and then proceeds to pull all remaining clothing from my body.

I reach out and grab for her but she slips out of my hands as she moves down my body leaving invisible marks of passion with her lips. I feel my skin burn in every place those lips have graced. She opens her hands and spreads her fingers and smoothes them over the skin on my pelvis. She stops her roaming and runs her thumbs over my protruding hip bones. She bends down and kisses each side. I almost feel like she's worshiping me. It turns me on even more. She glances at me before she goes down on me. I barely catch her eyes before I feel her lips on my skin. The heat, the friction, this evening… this woman. I come fast and hard, shaking violently… wonderfully. I expect her to stop but she doesn't. Her tongue rolls over my skin, dipping in and out of me; thrusting fast then slow.

When I think I can't bare the touch anymore she flattens her tongue over my clit, presses hard and sucks even harder. My body rips with orgasm and I gasp loudly, screaming her name in the same breath. Never have I felt a sensation like the one I just experienced with Olivia Benson. Nothing was simpler in this moment. I knew what I felt and what I needed and who I needed. Any doubt that kept me at arms length from this woman vanished in that release.

As I shook, she moved up and laid herself carefully over half of my body. The other half of her, spilling off of me, onto the bed. I imagine she didn't want to crush me under her weight, in my fragile state.

She dragged her nails lightly over my forehead and pushed all my matted hair off of my face.

"Olivia," I turned to her breathless. She looked at me simply as if I were going to ask her the time of day. "You were right…" Her eyebrows raised in question, "this morning you said when you kissed me last night… I liked it. You were right… I did. I do."

"I'm glad." Her toothy grin swept across her face as she rested her hand on my cheek. Her thumb moved back and forth over my cheek bone and I closed my eyes. My heart was full of emotion, full of chaos, full of this evening, full of Olivia.

A tear rolled down my cheek before I could stop it and Olivia's thumb caught it and her breathing hitched. "Alex, what's wrong?"

The truth was I was scared of tomorrow and that's what I did, planned ahead. Even in times of great triumph I was preparing for the worst, it's one of my greatest downfalls at times. I opted to be honest with her.

"I'm scared of what's going to happen tomorrow. When this freedom is gone in the daylight and I have to face what's really going on. I have so much to figure out." I could see a wave of fear flash across Olivia's face. She must've thought I was talking about her.

"I mean about the little life that's growing inside of me. What am I going to do?" Her face filled with relief and sympathy quickly followed.

"Well, I think you should worry about it tomorrow. Right now I think you should relax. Get some rest." She reassured inching closer, "I was afraid you were regretting… I mean…" She began to stumble over her words but I cupped her face with my hand gently and she stopped speaking to look at me.

"The only time I'll ever walk out that door again is if you are beside me." I told her sternly so she knew I meant business. She tried to hide her relief but it washed over her smile.

"I will always be beside you." She replied quietly.