AN: This is the last chapter of this story. I didn't do one with Alan. Lillehafrue, zeilfanaat, and Rachie Loves Donal Duck - thank you all for your reviews, they were much appreciated.

Gordon's POV:

I laid awake staring up at the ceiling of Thunderbird 5. John's instructions were running through my head in a continuous loop. He had written a lot of stuff down but I don't think that had been necessary. I could remember everything he had told me as he got ready to leave Thunderbird 5. Even I couldn't miss the worn look on his face.

John had been on Thunderbird 5 for another three month stretch. Only a two week break separated that stint with the two months before that. I knew Scott and Dad were getting worried about him as I had actually overheard a conversation between the two of them a few days ago. It was actually the night before Dad had told me I would be manning Thunderbird 5 on my own for the first time. I also knew that Dad wanted to figure out a more balanced way of manning the space station so that John was home with us more often.

Sure I had spent spring break up here with John. I thought my brother was going to strangle me by the end of that week. I had asked an endless string of questions. Had posed one hypothetical after another. I wanted to make sure everything was covered. I was determined that no matter what else happened that I was not going to crash the system like Virgil his first night here.

So far so good. It was one o'clock in the morning and I had been here since around three o'clock the previous afternoon. Ten hours and all systems were still running. There had been no problems, minor or major. Of course, nothing interesting had really popped up either. There was only one hurricane in the Atlantic that needed to be monitored. Things were actually fairly slow, which meant there were less chances for me to mess up.

I felt as though this was my final test. The last obstacle in my way of really being part of the team. Of really being a Thunderbird and I wanted to pass it. I wanted to pass with flying colors. Maybe then my brothers would look at me as something other than a kid. Okay, so I wasn't quite eighteen yet but I wasn't a kid. Alan was the kid.

I'd be a senior next year. One more year of school and then I would be at home all the time. I could be a part of this all the time.

Still, there was this nagging feeling in me that I didn't want to follow in my father's and brother's footsteps. At least not completely.

Yes I wanted to be able to do this. To prove to them that I was capable of this. Still, my heart wasn't completely into the idea of International Rescue. My main thrill came from piloting Thunderbird 3. From being an astronaut - although not the solitude that came from the station.
As much as I tried to deny it, part of me didn't want to become a full time Thunderbird when I graduated. That part wanted to join NASA. I'd still be following in Dad's footsteps in a way but I knew it wasn't the same. IR was his dream. His organization. I couldn't help but feel that Dad would be disappointed in me.

Did I want to always be left wondering though?

Deep down I knew I should talk to my Dad. Tell him I was considering other possibilities other than IR. Knowing and doing though were two completely different things.
Frustrated with my thoughts, I stood up and headed for the viewport. I looked out at the stars surrounding me.

I felt my heart quicken at the thought of traveling through them. Of exploring our solar system and seeing what the stars held for us. Of being a real astronaut.

"No matter what, always be true to yourself."

It was Mom's voice saying those words. The words she use to tell all of us at least once a week.
I knew then that I had to have a talk with my Dad when this tour of duty on Thunderbird 5 was over with. Had to prepare him for the possible heartbreak that one of his sons would not end up being a part of his dream.