Part Twenty One: Olivia

I've walked into Alex's office over a thousand times and not once has she ever been sitting, staring into space. I tried to stay away but time apart, relationship wise, doesn't mean I can't ever talk to her again, right? It's killing me inside, knowing she's bogged down with everything. I can't just sit around and do nothing. I want to help her. I want to let her know I'm here for her.

I linger in the doorway for a moment. She doesn't notice me. The setting sun is blazing, casting bright orange lines through the blinds and across her face. The light pours over her skin and the shadows on her cheek bones leave me breathless. She is so beautiful.

I shouldn't have come… but I can't stay away. She looks up and she notice's me leaning on her door frame. Her face becomes flushed as she realizes it's me.

"Olivia?" My name leaves her lips quietly.

"Hey," I take a small step into the sunset lit office, "do you mind if I come in?"

"Sure, have a seat." She won't look at me. I can see the questions tearing at her. I knew coming here would do that. Maybe I'm just selfish… or weak. She doesn't know if she wants me to sit there or not but I decide for her. I drag the chair over to the corner of her desk and rest my right elbow on it as I turn my undivided attention to her body language.

"Are you angry with me?" She asks as though I am her mother and she's been caught disobeying me.

"Of course not," I sigh. I need to be honest with her. "I was at first but I wasn't thinking. I was being selfish. I think I'm being selfish now." I look to the window, unable to meet her confused look.

"Now?"

"I know you wanted to be alone; you asked me for that. But, here I am."

She parts her lips to speak but I speak fast in hopes of defending myself, "but I'm only here because I wanted to see if you were okay." She closes her mouth and looks into my eyes. Any other time, this would be awkward, but not now. I search her face, pleading silently to let me in.

"Alex, Liz called me." Nothing; she doesn't even flinch even though I know how much this must enrage her.

"I'm taking a few days off. That should satisfy everyone." She stands and I immediately regret mentioning Liz. I stand with her, step forward and touch her arm but she gently pulls away. "I should get going. I'm fine Olivia," her confidence returns as she meets my eyes, "but thanks for coming by, really." She offers a half smile and I pull the chair back in front of the desk. I look at her for a moment. I want to say something but nothing comes; nothing but the shrill sound of my cell phone cracking the silence in the room, like a siren.

"Benson," Cregan really needs me back at the station. I have too much work to go through to neglect it now.

"I got to get back, if you need anything, I'll be buried in paper work."

She smiles and I leave, feeling I'm close to wearing out my welcome, if I haven't all ready.

"Benson, my office!" Oh shit, Cregan looks like he's going to blow a gas get.

"What is it Cap?" I pretty sure I know. He motions for me to sit and I do, I know I'm trouble.

"Listen, I know you're worried about Cabot but I can't have you running off like that. In case you forgot, you're on desk duty and I'm responsible for your whereabouts."

"Captain, I know."

"I don't want to hear it. Cabot's a big girl, she can take care of herself." I want to argue but I don't. The committee has been on his ass lately and he's been on edge. I shouldn't have pushed the line. I could mention that Liz called but I don't think it will do me any good. I'm just going to nod and walk out of here and plow through my paperwork. I have so many boxes to go through.

"Hey Liv, how's it goin'?" Elliot walks in out of breath and he looks wiped out.

"Goin' slow, is what's goin'" I answer truthfully and tired. "I've gotten through four out of the seven boxes and I got nothin'." I sigh heavily and rub my head. I'm beat but I feel bad about this afternoon so I'm going to stay until I finish looking through these.

"I'm heading home, Cathy called twice already. I'm in for it tonight." He rolls his eyes. I envy him and feel bad for him at the same time.

"Say hi to the couch for me." I laugh at him and it momentarily lifts my spirits.

"Ha. Ha. Very funny," he pulls his jacket on and smiles wearily at me, "good night Liv, don't stay here to late."

"You know me, I'll be alright."

"You're right, I do know you." I love him. He's such a great friend. I watch him leave and decide it's time for my third cup of coffee.

The precinct filters out; Cregan and Munch bickering over something stupid, I'm sure. I retreat back to my desk, happy to have the silence.

Time passes and the hours seem to drag. I haven't moved since Cregan and Munch left two hours ago. I check the clock, 7:38 p.m. I'm only half way through box six, ugh. Well that's a colorful book. Get Out Of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior by Mark Goulston and Philip Goldberg. Ha. These books are such crap. I flip through the pages and the back page has a note written.

Dearest Dom,

I know what it's like. I'm always here for you. Be strong.

Love Always,

Hallie

"I know what it's like? What's that supposed to mean?" I'm about to close the book when I notice a bump under the binding. A key? How did forensics miss this? I'll need gloves for this one.

I open my draw and pull out a box cutter and carefully slice out the page to reveal some kind of locker key or something. That's going in an evidence bag. I wonder if this Hallie girl put this in here? Did Dominic even know it was in there?

I set the book and the key aside to dig deeper in the box. I hope I hit the jackpot here. There are about five greeting cards, all from Hallie. I rummage through the last name, praying I'll find a last name. Romance novels, letters from his mother, old recipes… okay I'm getting no where here. I see a stack of letters with a rubber band around them and I grab them. I shuffle through them, scanning the addresses until I find it. YES!

Hallie Sullivan is in Goshen, NY? Oh man, I so do not want to go on a road trip right now. That's almost in Connecticut. I check my watch, 8:10 p.m. I wonder if Alex would go with me. No, I need to leave her alone for more than two hours before I make her crazy. How about I just look Hallie up here?

A match? Shit, Hallie's in prison? Now why would Dominic be this involved with a woman in prison? It's not his wife, I know that much. It can't be his partner if she's been in jail for 18 months.

I pick up the letter from Hallie and open it. I read through it slowly, taking in each word. They were defiantly intimate, that's no secret. What's this?

Now that I won't be seeing you for awhile I want you to be strong. I know how hard it is but if you keep it up, you'll end up in Rikers. I'll never see you again. Do you really want that? Don't be stupid Dom, I love you too much. Write it all down, then burn the pages. It will make you feel better, I promise. I can get out of here sooner rather than later if I just shut my mouth and behave. We'll be able to see each other on the same side of the glass. Until then, all my love, Hallie.

What is Hallie in for? I check the computer again. "Aggravated and sexual assault? You have to be kidding me!" I say it aloud to no one and shake my head. Okay what can I do with this information? Hallie tells Dom to write about something bad he thinks about, maybe? There's a key in this book. Where does this key go?

I open the book up again. I read Hallie's message again then I flip through the pages. Ah ha! A side note in pencil is near the binding in the middle of the book. I'm sure it's a man's handwriting. Looks like the dumb bastard actually read the book. Another address? I plug it in the computer and get a hit.

Gleason's Gym

83 Front St Ste 2, Brooklyn, NY

Now that's a lot closer. This one I'll check out. If he has a membership, he has a locker. If he has a locker there, no one would think to look there. I can handle this one by myself. I grab my coat and head out.