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"Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of disappointed love."
Northanger Abbey
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The next morning dawned bright and sunny, and if things had gone the way he had intended them to the night before, Jack O'Neill would have gone fishing or riding and insisted that Samantha join him—after all, she still had not taken him up on his fishing invitation. As things stood, he wished only to brood over his misfortune indoors with a good bottle of scotch and plenty of peace and quiet.
Unfortunately, it seemed to be one of the few days that this wish could simply not be fulfilled—something O'Neill saw as a disgruntling new trend in his life. Genuine and even moderately pressing business matters required that he go into town to see the town clerk and run several smaller errands.
Seeing as this was the case, he roped Teal'c into accompanying him, rightfully thinking that if his mood proved too sour for the more polite manners of public society, Teal'c and his ever-implacable attitude could smooth things over. He also brought along Thor, because somehow, things seemed a little less dire with the abnormally serious hound at his side. As the three made their way down the road to town in silence, Jack could practically feel the questions Teal'c must have no doubt been wordlessly entertaining. He rather rudely refused to acknowledge them though, determined not to speak of the unfortunate turn of events that had led to his current mood. Perhaps if he did not discuss it, indeed, if he made a conscious effort not to think of it at all, the sinking disappointment of his misfortune would fade, given time.
The faint hope was violently dashed when they happened upon Miss Carter following the same road in the opposite direction, quickly gaining on their position. Faced with no polite alternative, Jack stopped and bowed, making a concentrated effort not to look at her pale face and disappointed eyes too closely. "Good morning, Miss Carter," he said formally.
"Good morning, Colonel O'Neill, Teal'c," she greeted them. "How are you on this fine day?"
Silence stretched as O'Neill neglected to reply, so finally, Teal'c stepped in as Jack had known he would. "I believe that I may be suffering some ill-effects from the beverages served at your party last night, Samantha Carter."
A wan and all-too brief smile graced her lips. "Oh dear. Are you quite well?"
"I shall be fine, but I thank you for your concern. Did you enjoy the festivities?"
Jack could not bring himself to meet her searching gaze, instead staring at his feet with a great intensity. "Oh. It was all right, I suppose. Did you have a good time?"
"Indeed."
This time her smile was a little more sincere, focused completely on Teal'c because it seemed to be the only way she could think of to get through this particularly awkward scenario. "I'm so pleased to hear that. I am certain my father would be as well, but I am just returning from seeing him off—he was needed back at his station."
"I shall be sure to express my gratitude to General Carter when I next meet with him," Teal'c allowed.
Finding himself unable to stand silently while she continued to send such searching glances in his direction, Jack finally looked up. "I am sorry to hear that he had to leave so quickly—you must miss him when he is gone."
She nodded a little, looking a bit brighter now that he was no longer ignoring her existence. "Yes…he can be demanding, but he is my father. Besides, it was…nice…to have some company." The last was said in such a wistful tone that Jack had to swallow back the offers of companionship that sprung to mind, reminding himself repeatedly that Miss Samantha Carter could no longer be what he had so fervently wished she would become—she was now a responsibility, a duty that he was honor-bound to carry out.
"Yes…I am certain it was," he said, striving for the appearance of cool removal that had come so easily to him before she had entered his life.
His cold demeanor seemed to be convincing enough to deter her, for she seemed to wilt again. "Yes. Well…I shall leave you to continue on your way, then. Good day."
"Good day," he said, forcing himself not to watch as she walked further and further up the road. Turning to the somewhat condemning look in Teal'c eyes, he felt anger and exasperation in equal measure. "Don't start," he warned bitingly, proceeding once again towards downtown Gateshire.
Perhaps it was only his imagination that identified a similar look of disapproval in Thor's large dark eyes, but Jack narrowed his eyes at the animal nevertheless. "You either."
--
Janet had been expecting the visit of her friend all morning, knowing that last night had been the perfect setting in which Sam and Colonel O'Neill could finally put forth a firm declaration of their feelings and intentions. So when she heard the squeal of Cassandra outside, she was pleased, setting about making some tea that they could enjoy while Samantha went over the details of the romantic scenario.
She was not prepared, however, for the hollow-eyed and dejected friend that appeared in her doorway. "Oh my," Janet exclaimed in spite of herself. "What in the world did Jack O'Neill do?"
A short and bitter laugh filled the room. "I suppose that would be the problem—he didn't do anything."
"Nothing?" repeated Janet incredulously. "You mean to say that he didn't…."
"No," Samantha confirmed, sitting down on a stool with an air of dejection so profound that Janet found her throat tight with shared disappointment. "He said that he was going to—or at least, I thought he had. Nothing was ever concrete with us, no firm or fixed emotion declared. But there had been the implication that he was prepared to—and then nothing!"
Janet slipped her hand into her friend's, trying to offer some modicum of support in this trying time. "Perhaps he was simply nervous."
"I considered that," Samantha replied. "But I just ran into him on the road. Janet, he barely could bring himself to look at me, let alone…." Her friend's voice was the closest to tears Janet could ever remember, and the sound was one that she had hoped to never hear. "Did I do something wrong? Something to make him change his mind? Did he just start, look at me, and realize that I was not what he wanted in a wife after all? That perhaps all the eccentricities that endeared him to me at first would wear thin over the span of time?"
"That's simply not possible, darling," Janet said soothingly, releasing her hand to pull her into a firm embrace, smoothing golden hair like she would with Cassie when she took a particularly bad fall.
"Then…then maybe it was all in my mind. Janet, maybe he never loved me at all—maybe it was all me. He never really said…." Her voice broke. "Oh Janet. I just…I really thought that this time would be different, that he…but I didn't even make it to an engagement this time!"
As Samantha's tears finally fell, Janet did all she could by holding on tight and comforting her friend as she digested the bitter taste of unrequited love.
--
Soothed by Janet's calm and loving presence, Samantha soon calmed herself, appalled at her outburst. Luckily, Janet was the sort of true friend that did not judge one for emotional missteps.
Wiping her face clean of the last vestiges of her tears, Samantha could not help but feel a little foolish. "I am sorry, Janet. It is not the end of the world that he does not…that things did not turn out as I hoped. I should not have behaved so dramatically."
"Nonsense. Everyone is entitled to a good cry once in awhile—if not, then Cassandra is certainly remiss in her behavior on a regular basis." Although the joke fell a bit flat, the effort was appreciated. "Are you sure that you're quite all right?"
Resolved, Samantha nodded. "Yes. I shall be fine. I am resolving to remove Jack O'Neill from my mind once and for all. I cared for him, but obviously, he does not return my affections—there is nothing more that can be done but to move on."
"Seems logical," Janet agreed, though her voice carried more than a small amount of doubt in it. "Although Colonel O'Neill is still a rather significant member of our social circle, as well as Gateshire's in general—will this be a problem?"
For a moment, the thought of solitary afternoons in her lab held no joy because he would not be there to tease and joke and break her more delicate instruments. The prospect of ever riding Jolinar or shooting or dancing again seemed horribly bleak. Most of all, the image of him fishing in the large lake by Cheyenne Manor without her ever joining in seemed so wrong that Samantha actually felt that she might cry once again.
But she quickly gathered her control and steeled herself against the inevitable. She had gone through five previous breakups and managed to come through emotionally unscathed—Jack O'Neill would certainly not be her undoing.
What was more, as things stood, she had more reason to be angry than hurt. Looking back at the situation, he really had implied things, had contrived situations to purposely create a feeling of intimacy that he apparently had no intention of following through on. If anything, in this situation, she should be wounded over the imposition more than she should be mourning the lack of a happy result.
So when she went to answer Janet's timely question, "Of course not," was the easy (and, of course, completely untrue) dismissal that came out. After a fortifying sip of her tea, she cleared her mind. "Did I tell you about the interesting results of my pH experiment? It might help you drastically when growing some of your herbs."