She lay quietly and listened to him as he sleep while staring at the stalactites littering the top of the cavern. It wasn't exactly where she had pictured this happening but it was alright. He was tired and had every right to be. She thought with a silence and couldn't help but wonder if this is what had been planned all along. Blindly in passion she gave herself up. No it wasn't the first time, and she didn't regret it, but it still hurt to think that she now served no purpose for him. She was a lust toy. He only sought her out for his pleasures. She would always look back on this moment with fondest of memories, for she had never truly given herself completely to anyone in the past of her love as she had then.
He hadn't marked her as mate which only served as fuel for her wicked mind. It truly knew how to put her down in times when she was most relaxed and vulnerable. As now she was contented to stay in his arms for the remainder of the time she had to spend with him. For sure as she knew tomorrow would rise with the sun, she would have to leave after this mess was finished. When she had answered Sango's questions she had answered them with the absolute most truth to her knowledge. Of course now she knew greater of Sesshomaru's intentions but next to nothing of her own. He sought her bed and she in return was happy with the display of affections from the Taiyoukai. Her heart would ache indeed with the day of her leave. But so long as she could see his cold exterior released for one night, she was happy knowing she could please.
Inuyasha had left her with many doubts to herself in her sex appeal with his rude and rather hurtful comments to her performances. She once fancied herself a fairytale life with him. But soon after she was marked as courted, they had begun sleeping together. She remembered her first time vividly. He was gentle and did not force her to keep up with his pace but helped her overcome the immense pain brought by an act that was supposed to bring a closer affection. Steadily after he became more rough with his affections. One time he even called out to Kikyo as he climaxed. She had felt hurt and betrayed. That had been the day she realized he could never truly forget Kikyo as long as she was the supposed reincarnation of his past and now present love. Once she had even walked in on them rutting. She called it so because there was no love present between the two only pure, raw, unadaultered, lust. It had hurt. Soon when he sought upon her attentions she was about as responsive as a rock. She lay there silently as he performed his ministrations on her body. She would let herself go into her own world. A world where pain was unknown to the body but only existed when you awoke. She resided in her mind until he would finish. Sometimes he would demand a response from her beating her until she was pulled from her reverie.
Here with Sesshomaru she had wanted every bit of touching and pleasing he had performed on her body taking her to peaks yet undiscovered. There was no pain when he had loved on her. He showed her what it was supposed to be like when taking upon a lover. There was to be passion, feeling and most of all mutual response.
There had been once with Inuyasha. But it was short lived. Soon after he had become brutal with his 'loving' and she misplaced somewhere deep in her mind. He no longer sought her and had begun mentally degrading her with each passing day.
He no longer hid the fact that he had chosen Kikyo over her. It was soon after that she had been brought into the group as 'the shard detector'. It had hurt her so but soon she let herself fall completely to the will of her mind. Then he no longer hid the fact that he and Kikyo loved on each other. Many times he would show open affections upon her person while a sneering Kikyo regarded Kagome ruthlessly.
It had hurt in the beginning, and rightly so. It was her heart that she had let lead her around ultimately sacrificing herself to what she fancied love was like. In the beginning she thought that was the way a wife or mate in this case was treated in the feudal era. Even more so she refused to be treated as such which irritated the Hanyou enough. So to save her love she allowed it. Only now did she realize her mistake.
Oh how feeble and flimsy her mind had been. How stupid must she had been seen as. He had used her as a common whore. Wooing her with false affections until ultimately he won her out.
Oh god. What if this is the same. I don't think I could bare another Inuyasha like relationship. It would be too much. She closed her eyes blinking back long forgotten tears of sadness. It still hurt even now. She realized sometime that apart of her still loved the hanyou.
Even now her mind was forgiving him. A mistake. All a mistake. She should have never come here. She had not belonged. This had not been her time. How she longed to just waste away into nothing. She wouldn't be missed. She was Sesshomaru's current fling, until he found someone better. A step in mother for Shippo until he found someone better and more qualified to love him. Her sister and brother, Sango and Miroku, would grow old together having children of their own and forget all about her in time. She would serve as a memory for everyone. At some point they would probably forget her name.
Sesshomaru sat and watched quietly as tear after tear slipped down her beautiful face. He felt as each emotion passed through her body. He felt slight sobs wrack her body as she slipped into her emotional turmoil. He could not help but wonder what could cause such pain in someone of her status.
When he could take no longer of her silent turmoil, he whispered out to her. "What ails you, mai koi?" He felt her stiffen in his arms. Sobs shook her body once more. He kissed her forehead. "Shh..I am here. What had caused you such sadness?" She refused to look at him. This caused him feelings unknown to him. He took hold of her chin with two fingers turning her face upon him. Her eyes were lustrous with more unshed tears.
It was silent except for his reassuring notions and her shaky breaths. "You have nothing to fear for I am by your side."
She turned away her face once again with her eyes shut tight.
He accepted her silence, for now. As long as she was in his arms he would. He looked down and noticed his tail and hers intertwined around their bodies against the impossible pulling them closer to each other as her side lay against his chest. He pushed her hair away from her face. It fanned out under his careful touch. She looked like and angel lying beside him. Right where she should be. His demon contented. I agree. He pulled her into his arms and onto his lap. She lay there crying against his chest. He felt her tears streaming down his abdomen and onto his legs.
After what seemed like hours of silence she spoke, quietly at first as her voice cracked. "I am sorry."
"For what?"
"I never intended to cry all over you." She pulled away and looked into his eyes as if searching for the answer to an unspoken question.
"It was nothing, tsuyayaka."
She smiled at him a sad smile. One that caused his heart to beat feverishly against his ribs. He could be the one to make her smile, not a sad one, but a loving smile. Oh how many countless times had he seen her as a human look upon his brother with that? It filled him with emotions he was unused to, when he thought of how much grief she had endured while in the company of the ingrate. He maneuvered his hands along her back, playing with her hair, marveling at its smooth touch.
His mind creviced with thoughts of how last night he had let his emotions fall victim to her. It was hard to stay impassive with her around. She was the strong one. Willing to break down his defenses and find the one within, and now he needed to be for her.
"Do not cry. For as long as you are with me, no harm shall befall you."
"It isn't not physical pain that woes me so."
"Then what?" He pushed her on.
She looked right in his eyes. "I wonder if I let this continue what will become of me." She looked to the side of his right leg.
"I do not understand."
"What will become of us if I continue to allow this to happen? Will I just become another toy you will eventually use up and throw away or something of more sentimental value?"
"I.."
"No let me finish. If I am just a plaything I want to know before I fall deeper into the abyss called love. I don't want to face the same thing I have only just begun to escape from another, with the one who now holds a part of my heart. If I allow this to continue my heart will only grow fonder and if it is all one-sided…. I wish to know of it now." She looked back into his face, her eyes upon his. "Sesshomaru, if I allow this to continue will you love me back?"
"I…" He faltered. What do I say? He was astonished that she was so straight with her question. Even more so he secretly commended her bravery. He would tell her the truth. "I do not know what I feel. I know that my beast accepts you and yearns for me to take you as mate, I accept you. I want to take you as my mate. But I feel you might not be ready for the responsibility. And I sense through your retribution for Inuyasha, you may still harbor feelings that would interfere." She looked away now remorsefully. He felt her slowly pulling away from him. Her tail become slackened and her body leaving his lap. He stopped her forcefully and wrapped his tail tighter around her body so as not to allow her away. He pushed her face back to his and got close enough that if he wanted he could kiss her. He spoke lowly. "If and when I take you as mine I want your attentions solely on me. I am foreign to an emotion as love but I deeply care for you. But until then you will be satisfied with my answer."
"Hai, my lord."
This time he did kiss her. Not rough or hurtful, but gentle enough that it stole away her breath. He pulled away and rested his forehead against hers. "You are like a fire, always burning against me melting away the ice that covers my soul. Even now I find my feelings for you increasing considerably. How is it that one as you has found a place in my life? Entirely turning it upside down. Taking the order I created and abolishing it as quickly as a plague."
He kissed her deeper this time. She closed her eyes savoring his gentle touch. Faintly she noticed he was lowering her back to the cave floor.
"How do I possibly deserve one such as yourself?" She blushed and a beautiful one it was. "A Kami up there must like me." He placed small butterfly kisses up her neck onto her cheeks, pausing briefly to place one tenderly on her mouth.
She let him continue his comforts. But she wasn't satisfied yet. She pulled his chin up so his mouth met hers. Slowly she sat up so he was on his knees and pushed him so his back fell upon the soft earth. She followed him. She sat back on her knees and admired him. Her eyes fell upon his chest. It was gleaming with sweat and its chiseled features called upon her. Slowly she traced a finger down the hard lines of his abdomen. When they had first made love she let him have all control. Now she wanted to do the same to him. Make him feel pleasured. She paid special attention to each line. Gently she lowered her mouth to meet him. She snuggled her face into the muscles and placed butterfly kisses down his abdomen. As she neared his hips she moved to better position herself by straddling his legs. She pulled back and admired his hips for upon them were two magenta stripes. She traced one with a finger. She felt him shiver at her touch.
She looked up from his body to his face. It was strained, from him holding off. She watched his eyes fly open in surprise when he felt a warmth surround him. He looked up to see her slowly working him with her hands. His in return were clenching the ground. Oh god. I think I will die. This is almost too much. I have never felt such a feeling before. Just don't do anything to make her stop. He growled his approval.
She heard his low growl and begun to work her hand faster. Soon his hips bucked and he was panting heavily. His small gasps filled the air as he neared. He struggle for breath when she brushed her tongue over the tip of his erection. He almost cried out when she took him fully into her mouth and was using her hands as well. He howled out a mangled cry when he climaxed.
Before she could continue he took hold of her hands. She jerked up in shock wondering if she did something wrong. He took the opportunity to push her to rest upon her back. He poised himself over her and stared at her. The moon cast an ethereal glow across their bodies making them glow in the moonlight. He took the time to admire her impossible beauty. He had never met one such as her before. He intended to tell her so.
"Your beautiful, remember that. Never doubt yourself." She looked onto his face compassion filling her features. He buried his face in the crook of her neck, contented to just nuzzle and lick it. Soon her hips ground into his asking for more. He smiled into her hair. He would go slow this time. Prove his fondness for her. He would tease her until she began whimpering, begging for him to take her swiftly. Then he would let his demon loose bit by bit.
"Sweet Kagome." He murmured into her hair. Slowly he pushed himself into her. He moved little by little only moving his hips until he was fully inside her. Then slowly he receded from within her only to repeat it again.
Soon she captured his face in her hands. "Faster."
He did not comply. Only proving his insolence by if possible going more leisurely than before.
She began to move her hips in hopes of enticing him to move. He only smiled at her attempts.
"Sesshomaru, please." She moaned.
He increased his pace little by little letting loose a little more with each thrust.
She began to match him drive for drive.
As his swiftness thickened so did his demonic blood. Soon he was completely overtaken and was on the verge of letting loose. He could do not such for the cave little permitted it.
He howled out into the night and it echoed throughout the cave. All who were near heard the dog demon and stayed away from the grounds surrounding the cave.
As he howled his pleasure she panted his name repeatedly. With her increasing pressure, it became steadily louder.
When she came, she felt like her insides exploded and a great white light raced across her eyes. Faintly in her mind she registered his mangled cry. His weight crashed down around her. They lie there for some time. Just in each others arms.
It took most of his self control not to physically mark her as mate, but somewhere inside, he registered his mind, body and soul marking her forever his.
Soon he rolled onto his side and lay her spooned against him.
He growled his content when she snuggled further into him.
I haven't updated in a bit but the bug for this chapter was set and I had to write it. I hope y'all were pleased with it.I wanted to write more but more for this chapter just wouldn't come out and this seemes like an okay ending for this chapter anyways.
Ja ne
XOXOXO
Raining Tear Drops