Thirty Two: Alex
"Serena, please! Come on," I laugh and beg at the same time. Serena's voice is bouncing through the receiver. "I can't do it without you. I want this Christmas to be really special, okay? Do you think you could just pick that up for me? I'm swamped! I have to close out as many cases as I can before I go on leave."
My office door opens and Olivia sees the phone in my hand; waves lightly and sits quietly in the chair across from me. I smile, acknowledging her.
"Yes, well, that would be great. I have to go, but thank you. Yup… okay… bye." I hang up the phone and turn my attention to the happy detective in front of me. She's beaming. "Okay, so what's the good news?" I ask, laughing lightly at her excitement.
"Well… Elliot's having the precinct Christmas party at his place this year. I don't usually go to these, mainly because it's so depressing, but Kathy begged me. Plus, I have a date this year…first time for everything." She leans back in the chair, folding her fingers and grinning.
"You have a date?" I ask with a half smile. "Who?"
"Oh you wouldn't know her. She's this lady I have on the side. She's pretty gorgeous. You'd be jealous," she says nodding.
"Really? What does she look like?" I ask; my tone as level and nonchalant as I can keep it.
"Oh you know, blonde, blue eyes… carrying my future daughter." Did she just say what I thought she said? She referred to the baby as hers. We never did have that talk I wanted to, two weeks ago. There's always something in the way. Work calls, or I'm too tired, or we go to dinner but get sidetracked just trying to keep up with each others lives. We very well could be the most dysfunctional pair I've ever seen.
"I hope you and your date have a lovely time." I say politely. "So when is this little Stabler bash?"
"I think it's a week from this Friday. God, we're supposed to pot luck but I can't cook to save my life. Think you could help me out?" Olivia looks at me. I know how much she hates cooking. Not that I'm any better. I make a face at her, gently reminding her that I can't cook for shit either.
"Maybe we should just buy something and bring it." I suggest. Olivia rolls her eyes and laughs.
"Could you be anymore of a New Yorker?" She accuses.
"Okay, so how's everything going these days?" Serena asks, digging through her salad.
"They're much better than they were. I think Thanksgiving toned everything down. Crime rates drop from here to New Years, so things have been less hectic." I say digging through my own salad.
"Well that's good," Serena says absently.
"Serena, did you get it for me or not?" I ask impatiently.
"You know I did, I just like watching you squirm," she laughs, opening her purse. She pulls out a long box, already wrapped in gold paper, with gold ribbons twisted and curled, hanging off of it.
"Thank you so much for picking this up! The only time I have free is lunch, and I'm wasting it with you!" Serena laughs at me as I pull off the fitted lid to reveal the black box. I open the box and plaster myself with a foolish grin. "This is just beautiful. It's even better than I thought it would be!"
"You mean you didn't pick it out in the store?" Serena questions.
"Don't you think if I had time to go to the store to pick it out, I would have bought it then? I got this catalogue in the mail. It had all these Christmas deals. Normally, that makes me feel kind of cheap but there was defiantly nothing cheap about this piece of work. I've been looking for something subtle but beautiful and this was on the first page. It was just what I was looking for. I called it in and had them get it ready for me." I close the box and carefully hide it away in my bag. Serena is just looking at me. "Why are you looking at me like that?"
"Oh you got it bad Alexandra. I've never seen you give a crap about anything this much before… not even me!" She feigns a suppressed sob and then laughs when I look away. I feel my cheeks flush. It always happens when I think of her. I hate it, but I love it too.
"Anyway…" I decide to move the conversation in a safer direction, "did you decide if you wanted to join us at Elliot's? I know you're work place is pretty… crotchety." I say with a smile.
"I can't believe I just heard you say 'crotchety'! Ha, ha! They aren't crotchety; they're just… old and boring. Man, I need to get out of there. I was thinking about it though… I might take you up on that offer. Are you sure it's okay with Elliot?" Serena's insecurities peek out.
"Yea, he's really into the holidays. He said, the more the merrier. Besides, Olivia wants to get to know you better since we've been spending time together." As I say this, I see her taunting mind go to work.
"Is she afraid I'm stealing you away?" She gives me an evil look and I just shake my head.
"I knew you were going to say that! Honestly though? She's really grateful that someone can be here for me when she's not. She was actually hoping you'd really decide to join us."
"Alright, alright, I said I'd go didn't I? You don't need to beg." She flips her hair and looks at the clock on the wall. "We better get out of here before Donnelly fires you for hanging out with me. I'm a bad influence you know…" She jokes with a hint of bitterness.
"Now, now, we're all adults here," I smile and pick up the check. "Oh, and I hope you can cook, it's a pot luck." I say.
"I'll just show up with some wine," she says, shrugging her shoulders.
"Potluck means you share with the guests," I remind her.
"I guess I'll bring two bottles then!"
"I don't think I can go tonight!" I yell to Olivia. She emerges from the bathroom, ruffling her damp hair with a towel.
"Why not?" She says calmly, knowing what I'm about to say.
"I look hideous in everything!" I've never felt so affected by my wardrobe.
"We both know that's not true." She walks over to the mirror, where I'm standing, in a black dress. She stands behind me and looks into the mirror. "Yeah, I guess you're right. It's hideous; I think I'm moving out. I can't take another second." She jokes. It makes me crack a smile… and elbow her in the ribs.
"I thought black was slimming." I say to no one in particular.
"Alex, why are you worried? I don't know if you noticed or not but you have a baby in your stomach, not chilly cheese fries!" She laughs and sits on the end of the bed. She pours mouse into her hands and turns her head upside down to tousle her hair. I sigh and pull the dress off and throw it on the floor.
"There's nothing…" I say looking at the closet, then to Olivia. Why isn't she as distraught about this as I am? She flips her head up to look at me; her hair falling in every which way. Nothing but seriousness is written on her face.
"Honestly Alex, you look good in everything. Don't be upset by that little bump," she says.
"Little? It's huge… and so is your hair," I laugh and walk over to her. She's sitting on the bed, grinning.I try to tame her hair with my fingers without ruining the style. As I concentrate on her head, I feel her hands on my hips. She pulls me closer to hug me.
"I don't care if you weighed a thousand pounds, I'd still be happy to have you for Christmas," she says; her honesty showing more than I'm sure she'd like. "Don't be upset, okay?" She's eye level with my bump and leans forward to kiss it. How can I be upset now?
"Okay…" I say as she rests her face against me, probably listening, or waiting for movement. "Olivia?" I look down at the back of her head; her neck peeking out from under her cropped locks. I smooth my hands over the appealing skin.
"Mmhmm?" She stays comfortably in place.
"Never mind," I say.
"No, what is it?" She looks up at me, resting her chin on the bulge in front of her.
"Help me find something to wear or we're going to be late." I think she can tell that wasn't what I was going to say but I'm sure by now she knows better than to try and pry it out of me.
I want to tell her she feels like family. She feels like family I'm missing, and family I've never had. We never really talk about those issues because they run deep for both of us, but shouldn't I be able to tell her on the holidays? Not today anyway, I don't want to work myself up, (which is so easy to do these days).
She hands me a black skirt with a red boat neck top. "How's this?" She asks, handing me the garments.
"Actually, I like that a lot." I say reaching for them.
"Actually?" She laughs, "did you expect me to pick something terrible out? I couldn't have worked that way considering these are all your clothes and I would hope you liked them… since you wear them."
I laugh at her and gather the bags of gifts, my purse and my coat. Olivia takes the coat from me and with out thinking twice, lifts it to put it over my arms. These are the little things that make me appreciate her more and more each day. I turn to face her as the coat drops onto my shoulders. She turns to grab her own before I can catch her. She slides her arms through her coat and faces me to ask me if I'm ready. Her mind is wandering until she realizes, I'm not moving or answering her; just smiling. I lean forward and slide my hand to the back of her neck. I close the space between us, my gratitude gradually turning to desire. I pull the collar of her coat with both hands, drawing her closer; kissing her harder. I feel her hands on either side of my head. She touches my hair then gently pulls away.
"Wow, all that for a good outfit?" she asks with a staggered breath.
"All that for a good woman…" I reply pulling myself close to her; our warm cheeks touching softly. In this moment, for this season, I appreciate her more than she could know.
"We better get out of here before I change my mind and stay in with you." I laugh against her. "And Elliot would be pissed 'cus I never go to these things and I promised."
"Good point. We wouldn't want to waste you looking this good either. It's not every day I can get you into a dress." I pull back and look over the little black dress, clinging to every curve.
"Well, you can get me out of it later," she replied with an evil grin.