I'm sorry for the delay folks. It's just that my life has gone completely wrong since then…My parents are being asses; my mom banned me from my best friend AND my boyfriend for NO. REASON.

I HATE my life, and I mean it…And…I'm just going to get on with the story now…This is just really breaking me down…

I'm sorry if my despair affects my writing in any way…

Disclaimer: I do not own SO3. If I did own it, I'd have moved out of the house a LONG time ago, FAR away from my parents…Or, I would have already hired an assassin to kill them.

Claimer: I own myself, and Shadow.

Forewarning: Cliff Bashings!

…………………..Chapter Five: Defying Destiny and Really Bad Pickup Lines……………..

"Cliff….I'm so tired...Are you sure we're going the right way?"

"Of course my fiery red head."

…Not before long, an argument broke out between the male and the female.

"Look you buffoon, we're in the middle of a town. Just admit that you're lost and that we should ask for directions! And possibly stay at an inn for the night…Jeez." Yelled the red head, optics of bright and fiery hue ablaze with an anti-passionate fire. This was Nel. Duh.

"Well, I would say something along the lines of that, but with the shitty script that the authoress gave me in THIS mood, I'm pretty sure that would just kill the moment!" Screamed the large blonde, muscles rippling as he smashed his closed fist into his open palm. This was Cliff. Use your head and you would've figured it out.

And not long after, a frying pan came flying out of a nearby window, effectively rendering the bright-locked gorilla stunned. A young woman leaned out of the window, semi-mid back length mahogany colored hair swaying a bit over her left shoulder. She looked as irritated as a rabid Lum, her glasses sitting cutely on the bridge of her nose. She peered over the light purple rims of them with narrowed brown optics, bearing her teeth at Cliff. "What did you just say!" The girl screamed, angrily shaking her clenched fist at the two.

Nel blinked at Cliff, then up at the girl.

And the bell goes ding.

The agent smiled coyly, folding her arms over her breasts and staring calmly up at the misplaced authoress, Aoki. "He said that you were a no good wench who makes boys flaccid upon glance, and hands out badly written scripts that suck worse than a Glyphian leech," Nel explained to Aoki, shaking her head. "Oh yeah, and he also said that gorilla's are better looking than you are."

Immediately, Aoki's eyebrows shot up in disbelief. "Did he really say all that?" The girl scratched the side of her head, leaving the window momentarily. After a few slips, bonks, crashes, and booms, the authoress returned to the open window with several porcelain mugs.

Cliff stood back up, dusting off his leather suit and turning back towards the authoress of Hate Me, Don't Love Me. "Listen you…!" He didn't get to finish his sentence. Almost immediately, several cuts opened in his flesh due to a mug flying through the air and smashing right on his face.

"Who're you calling…" Chuck. "…Such a bad writer…" Chuck. "That she couldn't…" Chuck. "Even beat a…" Chuck. "Rotten Aquarian bean…" Chuck. "In a writing contest? HUH!" Chuck, chuck, chuck….

….Few Hours Later…

Cliff lay in the bed of a room at the inn, his body almost completely wrapped in blood-soaked bandages. Also, he was sporting two black eyes and a large lump protruding from the top of his head. Oh yeah, and his lips were swollen, too. Nel sat at his bedside, her arms crossed and her back resting against the chair.

She was in a rather comfortable position, and she didn't want to move. "Cliff, I hope you learned your lesson?"

"…Ffmph…"

"Cliff?" Nel looked at him suspiciously, arching an eyebrow. "Did you say something?"

"….Fshucking Owtwesh…."

Nel's chest heaved with a heavy sigh, before she turned her torso towards the door, resting her left hand on the back of the chair. "Aooooooki. Cliff dirtied your name."

/BOOM/.

Without warning, the door was torn off of it's hinges and that same brown haired girl loomed maliciously in the doorway, her build taking up not even half of the doorframe. An eerie silence filled the room, some kind of deep blue aura dancing about the girl's features. Her chin was tipped down, but she managed to stare upwards with a pair of odd glowing eyes through a curtain of dark brown tresses.

"You're…Going to pay for this…" Aoki advanced forward, her voice high-pitched and raspy like a zombie's. "Cliiifff Fiiiiittiiiiiiiiiirr!" Suddenly, in a mad scramble, the girl ran at Cliff and got right to work -- clawing, biting, and scratching at the bandages and wounds. And occasionally stabbed him with a pencil.

"ARGH! MAKE HER STOP! PLEASE!" Cliff cried from under the rabid authoress, trying hard to push her small body away.

Nel closed her eyes, getting up from the chair and walking out the door. As she passed the reception desk, the woman behind it gave her a menacing glance. "…Who's going to pay for the damage?"

"…Cliff. He's the blonde one." The red head spoke coolly, proceeding out the door just as Cliff was ridden down the stairs by Aoki like a sled, uprooting the boards and getting his face smashed into the ground at the bottom. The receptionist sighed pathetically, writing down and adding the total cost of the damage the rabid writer and the blond gorilla were causing the inn.

"CLIFF FITTIR! I'LL MAKE YOU PAY!" Aoki hissed, grabbing a handful of Cliff's hair and repeatedly banging his already deformed head into the ground.

"MOMMY!" Cliff gasped between hurts. He squeezed his eyes shut, preparing for the next phase of his punishment, but…It never came. It turned out that Aoki had stopped, but was still straddling his back. But her attention was focused on the receptionist who loomed over them with a piece of paper, waving it back and forth.

Aoki took the paper, reading over it. After a few moments of silence, she blinked and scanned it over again. "…………………………….WHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAT! We owe THAT MUCH! That's…THAT'S A LOT! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! I SHOULDN'T BE THE ONE WHO HAS TO…" She stopped, glancing at the bottom of the page. "…Ooh." She placed the paper infront of Cliff, and gently got off of him. "It's for you."

Almost happily, the authoress skipped out of the door and will hopefully never be seen again for the remainder of this story.

Cliff picked up the paper, studying it for a moment before looking up at the receptionist. He flashed her a nervous smile, bearing his teeth. "So…Uh…What're you doing this weekend?"

………Meanwhile, with Shadow, Albel, and Fayt………

CLANG!

CLANG!

CHING!

"That'll be your life, baby!" Shadow said loudly, parrying with Albel. He broke Albel's guard, swinging the pole at the higher ranking man. Luckily for Albel, he only nicked his jaw. The dark haired swordsman thrust his katana at the tailor, only to be forced to withdraw and block another blow.

Obviously annoyed, Shadow swept his leg under Albel, causing the Captain to lose his balance. "Gotcha, Hun! Time to pay up!" As a finishing move, he thrust his staff down upon Albel's exposed gut, but soon dawned in realization as his damask weapon hit the cobblestone ground instead of gummy flesh.

"Wha…!" Shadow blinked, jumping back just as the whir of a katana slicing through the air filled his ears.

"You're lucky, fool. A maggot like you would've gotten their guts spilled if they hadn't reacted so fast…"

"Touché…." Shadow muttered, jumping back as the katana whizzed past his neck. It wasn't that bad, but now his left sleeve was torn and a wound had opened in his shoulder. "Damn…"

Fayt wriggled about in the shackles, watching the battle with anticipation. He didn't know who'd win, so he wouldn't dare bet. The bluenette gasped, holding his breath as Shadow's staff clashed with the steel of Albel's katana blade. It was like some kind of game, after a few steps back, Albel would force Shadow back in the other direction. And then Shadow would do the same.

Repeat.

"MAGGOT!"

"FOOL!"

"WORM!"

"OGRE!"

"BEAST!"

"IMP!"

"DEMON!"

"SAVAGE!"

"BRUTE!"

"CLAM CHOWDER!" At that very moment, it seemed like time suddenly froze. It was Shadow that had yelled out the double phrase 'Clam Chowder.'

"…Say what?" Albel and Fayt questioned at the same time, looking incredulous.

Shadow cleared his throat loudly, glaring at Albel. "Are you deaf? I said CLAM. CHOWDER." He puffed out his chest proudly, putting his hands on his slender hips.

"See? I told you he had breasts…" Fayt whispered to Albel quietly, unbeknownst to Shadow. Albel nodded slowly in agreement. "…Yeah." The Captain coughed nervously, glancing wearily that the obviously insane Shadow. "…Clam Chowder? What for?"

Shadow punched himself in the chest hard, forcing the air out of him and turning his face a sickly pallor of blue. "..You…" He gasped. "You owe me two bowls of clam chowder…!" He raised his hand defiantly at Albel. "You used to steal my lunch! And mommy wasn't there to do anything about it!"

-Insert cheesy wailing here-

Albel and Fayt both sweat dropped at the same time, and Albel was the first one to break the ice with the metallic sound of his blade on claw, then katana on damask pole. Shadow may have been crying a few moments ago, but the boy hadn't dropped his guard at all.

"Mortal Kombat!" Albel growled.

"Test your might, bitch!" Kumori roared back.

And with several more metallic clangs, the fight ensued, with Fayt Leingod as the innocent onlooker.

…..End

I hope you liked this chapter. -bows- Please, Read and Review!