Season: 9
Spoilers: Prometheus Unbound and all in season 9
Genre: Parody/ship?
Summary: a little thing my cousin and I came up with at around 1 AM, so keep in mind it's very vague on details and a bit silly.
Disclaimer: Dude, I don't own the Stargate. Neither does my cousin. Heck, we don't even own Michael Shanks. Sadly.
Sam and Jack get married in season 9. There could be some sort of creative solution, but it seems the powers that be would rather go with the age old shippy fan fic cop out theory of a reward for saving the world so many times. And we're too lazy to go into detail.
Thor gives them a ship named the Carter as a wedding present, in honor of her and Jacob. At first, Jack's like 'Sam, I love you, marry me', and Sam's like, 'Sure, whatever, wait, regulations.' And he's like, 'Dude, we saved the world, no one cares anymore.' And, once again, we're too lazy to go into detail.
So Thor takes them to a random never before explored planet called G20-8472, where there for some reason is a hot tub. While in the tub, our dynamic duo couple is interrupted by none other than one Vala Mal Duran. Who, For some reason, never kidnapped the Prometheus and therefore never met Daniel or got sucked into Ori space. This is near the end of their honeymoon, and the rest/beginning is censored, for obvious reasons.
They take Vala back to Earth with them, and she and Daniel, with a surprising lack of annoyance, get married. It takes a while, but you can guess about the lack of detail. Sam and Jack, due to their age, which is too old to have a 'baby', but not yet 'old', adopt an 8 year old girl named Elizabeth.
They then are exposed to some mysterious item brought back to the base, which makes them both like 35. Except Sam dyes Jack's hair grey, because she likes it better that way anyway, and we all know he's an absolute foo for her when it comes to Sam.
They then have twins named Michael and Elise, coincidentally at the same time as when Vala and Daniel have triplets named Joshua, Kelcy, and Xavier, born in that order. About 5 minutes apart.
Not long later, Orlando Bloom, who for some reason knows about the Stargate program, comes to them graveling/crawling on hands and knees and begging, asking to hold their children. (Sams' and Jack's) However, Sam steps on his fingers and tells him to bug off.
Not long later after that, the Stargate Program goes public. Orlando Bloom comes back the same way, this time on some news show on the air with millions of watchers, hoping this time to have his wish granted. Sam steps on his fingers again, and tells him to bug off again.
The End.
P.S. They all live happily ever after.
P.P.S. This is a one shot, since it's vague enough to cover it all in one chapter. That and, it gives you people something to think about but come up with your own endings that you would probably like better than mine. And, Kelsey can actually be spelled Kelcy, I know a girl named Kelcy.