Yay, more reviews! ; They make me so happy, hah. Anyways.
Purpledemon: I'm glad you did! 8D I love experimenting with dialogue, and I thought that came out pretty neato, so thanks heh.
andalitebandit-6: Ack, I didn't know that… Thanks for saying something – I probably would've never realized that. As for the Dib thing … Dun dun dunnn, you'll have to find out next chapter! Cuz I'm still not at Zim's house O.O;
Silver Beast Girl Midnight: Yes, ma'am! sweatdrop And thanks hah.
HorseofDoom: Hah, same here. The closest they've ever really gotten is in Balognius Maximus, and even then it was to save their lives in whatnot, sooo…
Darky: Thanks .; I'm glad my characterization's good, because I wasn't sure if I was going too overboard with Zim o.O; Then again, Zim is pretty overboard. Oh well.
Anywho. Here's the next chapter for yeh monkies.
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(Chapter Three – Great Gobs of Dookie)
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Skool sucked.
Any human could have vouched for this opinion, but Dib was a particular skool-hater. It was so horrible – the sickening smell in the hallways, the dull colors that made you want to throw up in class by how boring they were, the lessons to match just because they were about four grade-levels behind all of their IQ's… it was ridiculous. Ms. Bitters had to have given the class the same lessons about the Big Bang Theory or moose for the last two years now, and Dib was only just now beginning to feel the whole weight of it. He was bored, and that was never really something he had been in skool before. Something had usually come up, whether it was that kid, The Letter M, throwing his books across the room in the middle of class that one time, or any of Zim's escapades … but now … it was just boring.
With a sigh, Dib set his head down on his arms, drilling his nails against the desk and Ms. Bitters just growled 'doom' over and over again under her breath. The other students were doing some of the same, with some variations of drooling or sleeping or doodling on the desktops. Dib's eyes trailed up to the clock, willing for the hands to move faster. Somebody do something … ANYTHING. he thought miserably.
And just then, Zim raised his hand.
See, Zim never really 'raised his hand', though. Zim waved his hand around in the air so violently that he smacked Zita in the face, or Zim put both hands in the air and twirled them around like he was doing an interpretive dance, or Zim just stood up on his desk and waved his arms around like a madman. Right now, he was doing the 'both-arms-in-the-air' thing, while almost hitting Brian to his left. Ms. Bitters was ignoring him, still mumbling 'doom', until Zim jumped up onto his desk. With a groan, she finally directed her attention to him. "YES, Zim?"
"Can I go to the bathroom?"
Dib suddenly looked sharply over at Zim with a weird look in his eyes. That … was awfully normal of him. Normally it was, "GOOD GOD, I HAVE A MIGHTY URGE TO USE THE BATHROOM" or some other odd way of emitting that he just HAD to go to the bathroom RIGHT THEN. It was only at that moment that Dib noticed just how pale Zim looked that day. His usual brilliant lime skin tone was a dull, pale, sickly green, and his wig was in disarray on his head. He was practically slung over his desk as he waved his arms around towards the teacher.
"Zim, you know that you used up all of your bathroom uses a few months ago when you spent that three hours in it," Ms. Bitters spat, automatically turning away to return to her lesson.
"But…" Zim spluttered, racking his brain. "It's an emergency!" he blurted, remembering that one time when Bethany had evaded her yearlong ban to the girls' room. At once, Ms. Bitters was hunched over him, growling into his face with those wretched fangs of her. Zim went to open his mouth to speak once more, but instead clapped his hands over them, his cheeks bloating slightly.
"If you think you're going-" Ms. Bitters began stonily, but was rudely interrupted when she was introduced to whatever Zim had digested that morning … allll down the front of her dress. The class automatically burst into peals of laughter, Dib included, as Zim's hands hastily snaked back over his mouth. Ms. Bitters, for the first time that anyone had ever seen, just stood, frozen, a look of utter shock on her face. In all her years of teaching…
"ZIM!" she shouted angrily, and all at once, Dib's laughter faltered slightly. This wasn't just one of his stupid ploys – he looked truly horrified with what he had just done. And with the look he was receiving right now, Dib wasn't sure if he was going to exit the class with his head attached. "Go to the nurse. Now!" Ms. Bitters finished, her eyes narrowing into slits so small that Zim couldn't see her pupils anymore. "Or at least to bathroom to make sure you have all of that FILTH out of you!" He nodded solicitously, leaping up from his seat and bolting down the hallway. Ms. Bitters automatically rounded on the class, and at once, all laughing ceased. "The rest of you, shut up!" she snapped. "I'm going to get this off of me. I've activated the sensors! If ANY of you moves, the attack squirrels will hunt you down like the little maggots you are!" With that, she disappeared into thin air, leaving behind a few tendrils of thick, black smoke.
The class sat completely stock still in their seats. They weren't really sure if Ms. Bitters could actually 'kid' around, and didn't want to take their chances. Mary let out a small whimper as she glanced around the room, searching for any openings where squirrels could run in. A complete silence had swallowed the room, and Dib just glanced around, wondering if he should just run for it.
Of course, just then, Keef sneezed, and he didn't have to wonder. Squirrels poured in through the walls, all leaping onto him and gnawing on his head and any other such objects they could reach. The class exploded into absolute mayhem, running around and screaming at the top of their lungs.
Dib took this as an opportune moment to run.
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(Meanwhile…)
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Zim stood, hunched over a filthy Earth toilet in the bathroom, his arms shaking as he hacked up some of the bile in his throat. He had just dry heaved everything he hadn't eaten that day up into the water, and wasn't feeling in the best of spirits as he fell onto his knees, groaning into his arm and rubbing his eyes. Irken sweat poured down his face as he leaned back against the side of the stall, and he just angrily wiped it away, his eyes darting nervously around.
"What is WRONG with me!" he questioned aloud, his hands skeptically patting down his body as he spoke. "This can't be NORMAL. Unless I contracted one of those filthy Earth viruses…" He let out a moan of frustration and slapped his forehead. "Of course, that's it. GUH, these horrible, troublesome pieces of dirt! They somehow ruin everything every single time!" He shakily pushed himself back up to his feet, grasping the toilet seat for support and feeling around for the door handle. "I must get back to the base. I'll have to scan for possible problems to see what – oh, GRAH." He punched himself in the head repeatedly and banged his forehead against the wall in ferocity. "I have to go to that miserable Dib thing's house after skool is finished!" He let out a small grunt and glanced up at the clock conveniently located on the bathroom wall just above his head. "Skool is just about over…" He frowned. "I could last for an hour or two. I just have to make up some excuse why-GREAT IRK!"
Zim jumped back against the wall as the door randomly swung open, nearly smacking him in the face as someone leapt in. He rubbed his eyes and cocked an eyebrow once the door slapped shut behind the intruder. "Dib? The h…" Zim grimaced. "Move – I have to go back to class before-"
"Ms. Bitters isn't even there anymore," Dib said passively. "There's only some horrible squirrel things attacking the class or something. Anyway." He gave Zim a squinted eye. "What was with that?"
"What?" Zim narrowed his eyes. "Oh, right. That. It was just your sickening Earth food. It's … enough to make anyone sick," Zim mumbled, excusing himself with a wave of a hand.
"But … you didn't even eat anything at lunch."
"Nonsense! Of course I did." Zim stuck his nose (well, at least where his nose would be if he had one) in the air and sniffed. "Come on. Let's just … go to your house and get this over with."
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(Later, at Dib's house…)
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"How do you spell … 'e…so…fa…gust…' … ?"
Dib glanced up from the poster to Zim, shaking his head. "The esophagus isn't part of the respiratory system. You don't need to know how to spell it."
"It's not?"
"Nope."
"Oh. I thought it was."
Zim was poring over a diagram of a man's organs, labeling the ones that had to do with the respiratory system. "What about the … heart?"
"Nope. That's part of the … whatever the name for the blood system is."
"Circu-something," Zim said, tossing the piece of cardboard onto the ground and glancing down at the progress Dib had been making. Dib bristled slightly in discomfort at the Irken's direct stare, but continued coloring in a picture he had drawn the day before. "Why have all these stupid complex names for all these?" Zim asked curiously. "Different systems and whatever. They should have easier names."
"They oughta give your race the same advice," Dib scoffed, glancing up from the poster. "Squeedly spooch…"
"What's wrong with that?"
"Come on, Zim. Squeedly spooch?"
Zim opened his mouth to argue again, but bit back his words, frowning. "Fine," he admitted. "Yeah, you're right. It does sound kind of stupid." He gave Dib a weak smile as Dib let out a small giggle, turning back to the poster and starting on another section. Zim watched him for several long seconds, turning back to his own poster when he gave a sudden lurch, sending him onto all fours on the floor. "Er … where's your bathroom?"
"Uh, through the kitchen, to your left," Dib said passively, waving his hand in the direction of the kitchen.
"Thanks," Zim replied shortly, leaping to his feet and practically running from the room. Dib's gaze flickered up at the sudden movement, but he didn't really think anything of it until the door slammed. He cocked a concerned eyebrow, slowly climbing to his feet and padding across the room, listening intensely for any sounds. He heard a sort of gagging noise and furrowed his eyebrows, tiptoeing closer to the door. He heard a flush and darted away, making it back to his poster just in time for Zim to throw the door open.
"There's something wrong … there's gotta be something wrong," Zim was mumbling to himself under his breath, patting himself all over as if to feel for any sort of errors in his genetic makeup or something. He took another step towards the living room before he gave another retching sound and bolted back for the toilet, not even managing to close the door behind him as he collapsed in front of the porcelain bowl. Dib clambered back to his feet, allowing himself to peek his head into the kitchen to see what was going on.
"Zim?" he asked in a perturbed manner, gently pushing open the door just in time to see Zim leap to his feet and run the back of his arm over his mouth.
"What? Who?" Zim spluttered, eyes darting around. "Jeez, can't a guy have a bathroom to himself for five minutes?" Zim spat, slapping his hand down onto the flusher before Dib saw what was inside. "Look, I'd better go. I have to … um … feed GIR … or another such excuse that could get me out of here right now." He winced and nearly slapped himself in the head. "Did I really just say that out loud?" His hands slapped over his mouth. Great gobs of dookie, stop, Zim! His eyes flitted nervously up to meet Dib's and he furiously shook his head. "Today was great, I'd better be off – talk to you later?" Zim spewed in one, long string of words before shoving past Dib and running to the door.
"Zim, wait!" Dib shouted after him, but only had to hear the door slam before he knew that Zim had gone.
