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Chapter two

Lily's abrupt leave from dinner the previous evening earned her a long, stern talk with her mother as well as the classic punishment.

"You are not to set foot out of this room Lily," Mrs. Branshaw practically screeched. "Hide nor hair."

And though Lily felt she had had a perfectly good excuse for what she had done, she also felt that she did deserve some sort of punishment because there were better ways of behaving. She should have simply kept her mouth shut and finished eating her dinner while ignoring the words of her mother and sister. Also the constricting feeling in her stomach that came whenever she heard the words 'wedding' or 'Linus'.

Lily was absolutely sure that there was something wrong with her engagement to Linus, but she dared not tell her mother her doubts. She knew she would get nothing but screaming.

"You're just nervous Lily! There is absolutely no reason for you not to want to marry one of the wealthiest men in the world!"

Yes, that would be exactly what her mother would say. Lily never did think of her mother highly when it came to the affairs of marriage.

Mrs. Branshaw had been quite wealthy person in her youth. The seventh child to be born to the May family. Emily May was what she went by in those days. Living with every advantage there was. Though it did not last. When Emily was sixteen her family went bankrupt and everything was snatched from their fingers.

During these troubling months, Emily met Mr. Branshaw and they eloped within a few weeks. Mr. Branshaw had been at least twenty years older than her, but since he had everything she had lost, she had been immediately drawn to him.

Lily didn't believe her mother at all when she said she had married for love. There was none between her and Mr. Branshaw, or maybe it just wasn't obvious to Lily.

Lily remembered her and Linus's first meeting vividly, as though it had only happened yesterday. She had been invited to one of his social gatherings and her first impression of him was a good one. A very handsome man he was, with neatly cut black hair and the bluest eyes one could wish for.

Linus and Lily had started talking and immediately felt something more than a friendship was going to happen between them. Lily just hadn't known how far it would go.

Just from their first conversation alone, Lily could tell that Linus was ambitious. He talked nonstop about the hardships he had to endure and how he got past them. The night went on like that for the longest time until finally he started to become more occupied with Lily. Like every other man she had met, Linus's first showed his approval of her looks.

Normally this would make Lily very self conscious and embarrassed, but because Linus himself was a very handsome man, she felt she didn't mind it at all when he circled around her with interest. They had started flirting, causing the whole party of people around them to whisper excitedly. Just the next morning there was news that the two of them were together and having plans to marry.

Lily ignored the media, knowing that they didn't know what was really going on, but ended up meeting with Linus more and more often. He liked to keep her by his side as much as he could and didn't like it when Lily was apart from him for more than a few days at a time.

This bothered Lily slightly but nevertheless she kept seeing him. What the lure was exactly she did not know. Perhaps because he was the most sought over man in all of America; that she was the envy of every girl in high society appealed to her.

Whatever the lure was, it had stopped the moment Linus had showed Lily the enormous diamond ring symbolizing their union. Lily didn't know what it was that made her say yes. Maybe she just couldn't say no. But it was then her life took the turn for the worst.

Though how could she possible say something like that? Lily had been feeling guilty about this for some time. She had everything in the world and she was still complaining.

Lily sighed deeply and pulled on her hat. The blue one her mother had given her to avoid any arguments. She didn't think it matched too well with her dark red dress, but since when did her fashion sense matter?

"Lily, you know that hat doesn't really - "

"I don't care Anika," Lily interrupted her sister. "It keeps the wind out of my face and that is all that matters to me at the moment."

Anika frowned slightly, but didn't say another word on the subject.

Instead she asked, "Lily, your constant snapping... I've been meaning to ask..."

"Mmm, must be the salt air. You know I'm terrified of the sea and all that sail on it," Lily said quickly, hiding her face which she could feel starting to burn. The main reason for the fact Lily had trouble lying was not her acting abilities for they were actually quite good, but the simple matter that whenever she was lying or trying to hide something, her face would start to turn the brightest shade of red and show if she had something to conceal.

Lily supposed it was the curse of the redhead, but she also didn't feel that people with that certain type of hair colour should be stereotyped that way. Maybe it was just the fact that she didn't like hiding anything from anybody. She wanted to be heard and shewanted people to know what her opinions were. She wished to be recognized for the person she was inside, not the face on the outside.

"You're on the Titanic, stop worrying," Anika laughed as though proud of herself for being braver than Lily. She loved the sea and couldn't understand Lily's fear at all. "We're both perfectly safe. The ship is unsinkable."

"Well that's just playing God isn't it?" Lily said as the two of them made their way down the deck.

"You're as bad as Marcy," Anika said disapprovingly. "Well not quite as bad. At least you don't get seasick."

"There aren't even enough lifeboats," Lily pointed out.

Anika shook her head smiling. "Courage is a needed factor. You're scared of this? How do you plan to survive in the world? And how do you know they're aren't enough lifeboats, did you count them?"

"Yes, and I plan to marry Linus... Then I don't have to worry about surviving..." Lily said slowly, looking down at her shoes.

"Ah yes of course," Anika pursed her lips. "How could I have forgotten... You do have everything don't you."

"Except courage apparently," Lily reminded her.

"Rick likes you, you know?" Anika said looking out over the waters with her bright blue eyes.

"Mmm, I feared that was the case..."

Anika looked up at her interestedly. "So you don't plan to do anything about it?"

Lily looked at her sister surprised. "Well - well of course not. I'm engaged. I can't go after some other - just because - well just because - "

"Because your fiance's not here, right, sorry," Anika looked away from the ocean and at her perfectly manicured fingernails. "So Rick's fair game then?"

Lily shook her head and straightened up. "I'm getting chilly. I'm going to go back to the stateroom to fetch myself a coat."

"Yes, alright," Anika said. "I'll meet up with you later."

xxx

'I look forward to our next meeting darling.'

Lily ran her fingers over the photograph with the writing from Linus scrawled over top of it. It was a picture of the two of them, just the two of them sitting on a large sofa, posture's perfect and face's bland and lifeless.

It was the first and only picture that the two of them had together. Well, besides all the newspapers. It was the only picture Lily had of the two of them. Linus looked very good in it. A strong, sturdy man. Looking very well off, and very sexy. Lily had to admit that much.

She didn't like herself in that picture though. Her hair was up, like it always was, and most of it was hidden in her hat. She didn't have a smile on her face just like Linus, but rather than looking proud and strong like he did, she looked helpless and sad. Appearing to look like she would have rather been anywhere else.

Lily didn't like the memories the picture brought back to her. She remembered the night after the photograph had been taken. It was the first time she had seen Linus angry. Furious. Furious at her.

She had said something rather rude to one of the reporters that constantly surrounded her and Linus which caused the man to write a very unflattering story about Linus and his unhealthy attraction to younger women. This would make any man angry or at least very embarrassed for although Linus did in fact look much older than Lily by at least ten years, he was actually only two years older than her. It brought his attention to the fact that his hair was prematurely grey and then turned to Lily.

Lily had not felt very afraid when he advanced on her, until the heavy blow came to her face...

Linus had apologized and then went on as if it had never happened. Lily ignored it as well, not wanting him to get even more frustrated with her. But she did not forget it and it was now clearer in her memory than ever before.

Lily shuddered suddenly, goose bumps rising on her arms. She dropped the photograph and looked over to the windows which were closed. The room itself was quite warm and Lily didn't know what had cause the violent chill. Well no, she knew exactly what had cause the violent chill.

Gone were the days if her freedom, though she actually never had it. She yearned for it, yearned for what everyone else had gotten at least once in their life. But what could Lily do about it now? Nothing...

Then it came to her. She swallowed her painfully though her hurting throat and, to her horror, realized her eyes were filling with tears and her throat was burning. She blinked back the tears and picked up the photograph again.

She didn't want to do it, up until now the thought wouldn't even have crossed her mind. Lily took a deep breath and prayed for help. Her mind, full of misery, wasn't working properly and Lily feared of what she might do if she listened to it tonight.

The tears were falling harder than ever now and her gasping and gulping stopped as she gazed into the mirror on the wall opposite her.

Her face was streaked with tears and her dark red hair was staring to fall out of its bun. Lily reached up and pulled the band out of her hair so the red curls fell loosely onto her shoulders.

Then suddenly, she let out an angry yell and swept her hand across the dressing table knocking half of the objects on it onto the floor.

Lily stood still for a moment, breathing heavily, then, with one final cry, she flung off her shoes and ran from the room, heading into the starry night. The sensible part of her mind had been left behind in England.

xxx

Lily stopped running abruptly. She was only a few feet away from the back of the ship.

Her breaths continued to grow deeper as she started walking slowly over to the end, not paying any attention to the icy wind nipping at her bare arms.

She stopped walking with her hands clutching the railing so tightly it hurt. She looked down at the rushing waters below, their steady flow somewhat calming her down. Now that she was out of that stuffy room she felt better and she looked down at the black abyss before her wondering what to do next.

She wasn't one hundred percent sure why exactly she had come here of all places, well, she was a little sure. But deep down she knew she could never do it... could she?

Lily shivered slightly as the cold wind blew on her face, chilling the tears she hadn't realized were on her face.

"D - don't do it."

Lily jumped and wheeled around wide eyed.

"Who are you," she asked automatically, still breathing as though she had just run a twenty kilometer race.

The man standing behind her didn't respond right away and so Lily took this time to observe him. He was a third class passenger, obvious from his clothes. His hair was wild and unkept, a messy mop of midnight black. A messy mop of midnight black... midnight black...

The hair... so familiar. She could have sworn she had seen this man before... She could have sworn she had made fun of this hair before...

He wasn't like Linus, a clean sort of handsome. He actually looked cute with his rumpled hair. Not that he wasn't handsome, but it was more of a rugged kind.

He looked like he was around seventeen years of age. In the dim lighting the stern of the ship gave out, it was near impossible to make out the colour of his eyes, and of course Lily had more important things on her mind.

"Yes, what do you want?" Lily snapped, getting impatient at his lack of speech.

"I just - " he faltered, frowning slightly. "You look familiar. What's your name?"

"Anya," Lily replied. She would never, not in a million years give out her name to a stranger. She knew why she looked familiar to him, it was because her face had been in the newspapers so many times and she didn't need him to suddenly start gawking at her like she had an extra head or something. "Anya...Anya Veels..."

The man was still frowning, but soon shook his head and cleared his throat. "Right, sorry miss. I'm James."

"Fine, now I wish to be alone. Would it bother you if I asked you to leave?"

James looked at her and then over the railing and then back to her. "Bit cold out isn't it?"

"W - what?" Lily looked at him, irritated. "Yes, well thanks for stating the obvious, now - "

"What are you doing outside in this air with bare sleeves?"

"Enjoying the fresh air," Lily replied, turning away from him and back out over the waters. "And its really none of your business."

"Are you okay?"

"Go away," Lily said through gritted teeth.

"Ah well now I'm kind of worried of what could happen if I left you right now. You ah, you look like you're about to do something stupid."

"Well you just look stupid, leave me alone.I'm fine," Lily said, trying to be patient. If he didn't leave withing the next few minutes, she would be gone herself.

James smirked. "Where are your shoes?"

Lily blinked. "My what?"

"Shoes," James repeated, nodding down to her feet.

Lily looked down startled and saw that her feet where completely bare, not to mention extremely numb. "I - er - must have left them in my stateroom..."

"Uh huh..." James raised an eyebrow. Lily could feel her face growing hot despite the cold wind still blowing fiercely.

"Listen," Lily snapped. "What are you doing out this late?"

"Nothing," James shrugged. "Just looking... never mind..." He frowned again. "Anya..."

"Yes, Anya," Lily said quickly. "Anya..." damn, she couldn't remember the fake last name she had given him... Did it begin with a B?

"Mmm... You're from first class aren't you?" James observed.

Lily nodded wondering why he even bothered to ask. The clothes were a dead giveaway.

"Well - er - have, have you seen a Lily Evans sometime during your voyage?"

Lily's stomach clenched and her hands automatically balled into fists. Was this another one of her stalkers? Creep. Lily couldn't have been gladder that she had given him a fake name. God only knows what he would have done if he knew it was really her. The drop dead gorgeous Lily Evans all over the papers.

"No I haven't!" she said, louder than she had meant, her face redder than ever. Or so she assumed. She could feel it burning and not with cold. "I'm going now, have a goodnight!" and she moved away from the railing, but stopped suddenly as she heard a horrible ripping sound that could only mean one thing.

She looked behind her and saw she had snagged the bottom part of her dress. Oh no... that can't be good...

And, face still glowing like the setting sun, Lily looked up at James and scowled at his amused expression.

Yeah, she thought, like he could really make fun of a torn dress when his clothes looked like he had found them lying in the middle of the street.

And they were torn in a few places too.

"Yes well, welcome to the land of steerage," James said grinning, noticing her looking at his clothes.

Lily narrowed her eyes. "I never liked this dress."

"Fine," he said simply.

Lily didn't take her eyes off him, still trying to think of some snappy comeback, but her mind was completely blank... "Well I'm going. Nice to meet you James," and she started to walk past him, holding up the torn part of her dress.

"Wait - wait a moment!"

Lily stopped and turned around. "Yes?" she inquired.

"If you see a Lily Evans can you let her know James Potter is looking for her. She - ah - might not remember me - well I don't really see why she wouldn't, but - er - if you could just let her know. It's, it's really important."

"No," Lily said angrily. "Who are you, some creep out to get her money?"

James blinked looking a little confused. "I - what? No, no, nothing like that. I'm just an old friend."

"I - " Lily stopped, seeing the earnestly in his eyes. Maybe he really was telling the truth, although there were some mysteries. What on earth did he want to talk to her about and since when had they ever been friends? True, he did look slightly familiar, but it wasn't like he was the only guy with black hair out there, and - hazel eyes - yes, they were definitely hazel now that she'd gotten a closer look at them. "I - sorry," she apologized sincerely. "I just - sorry... Things have just been, well, not really going well for me at the moment... If I see this Lily Evans, I'll tell her you're looking for her..." Lily said finally, wondering if she ever would state the truth.

James broke into a grin, "Thanks. And hopefully I'll see you around again."

Lily tried to smile, and say, "Alright then," but found it a bit difficult. She just simply nodded before turning around and walking back towards the inside of the ship.

She stopped walking after a few minutes however because she had just spotted a small glint of light on the wooden floor. Lily bent down and picked it up from the ground.

It was a pocket watch. Some passenger must have lost it. Lily supposed she would just return it to some lost and found on the ship. Though something looked oddly familiar about this watch; very old, very dirty, watch...

Lily shook it off and continued down the deck, wondering what was bringing on this sudden burst of recollection.

And now you've met James. This isn't my favorite chapter, i had a bit of trouble writing it and am still not completely satisfied. But I will hopefully have better luck with the next chapter.

Christmas is coming so soon! I can't wait to get out of school.

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